"Drunk Potter"

Harry Potter was dead.

It was kinda tragic. The "Boy-who-lived" had defeated "He-who-shall-not-be-named", only to die of alcohol poisoning from drinking too much during the celebration for his triumph. His friends were depressed, the magical population in shock and Rita Skeeter happy to be the first to report about "The-boy-who-didn't-live-long-enough-to-tell-the-tale".

As the article pointed out, Harry's life had been more than hard, maybe even unfairly so, and while the details were for the most part invented or „creatively reported upon", the core message was true: The boy had lived a sad excuse of a life through no fault of his own, had been punished for the mistakes of others, had been let down by friends and allies, and in the end had saved them all anyway, even if some hadn't truly earned it. And all he got in return was alcohol poisoning, because the minister of magic didn't feel like justifying spending too much on drinks for a single party and had brought some self-burned booze instead.

So when Harry Potter stumbled in the afterlife, Fate already awaited him.

"Harry Potter, you..."

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"

"WHAAaa! Why are you screaming?"

Harry blinked a few times, looked around and slowly closed his mouth. He then took a closer look at fate.

"Oh, err, sorry for that. I thought you were someone else."

Fate, who didn't look even remotely like anyone Harry had ever met in his life opened her mouth a few times as if to ask a question, before ultimately shaking her head moving on.

"Well, as you might have noticed, you are in the afterlife."

Harry nodded a few times while trying to look as if he had understood the implications of this sentence, which he did not, as he was still incredibly drunk and thinking was kinda hard at the moment.

"And since you had such a heavy burden on your shoulders in the past life, I decided to give you another chance at life."

Harry nodded again, trying his best to concentrate on what was being said.

"There is a small problem though - I can't actually send you back with your memories intact just like that. Just like you humans I'm bound by laws as well, laws to protect the world and all of existence from falling into chaos. A small transgression isn't dangerous, but I still can't just ignore our laws completely. Which is why we will have to use a loophole to get around this particular law."

Fate took a glance at Harry, who looked like he was deep in thought.

"I already have a few possible loopholes prepared, now all you have to do is choose which one you want to use, as all of them will affect you next life profoundly. The first one is achieved by not giving you the memories of your past life, but only the feelings of it. You would subconsciously recognize people, locations and opportunities, and would act on them accordingly, without knowing why. For you it would feel like some sort of gut feeling, but later in life you might have become dependent on it. The second option would be achieved by giving you some false memories, this would manifest itself in the form of a seer ability to you. You'd have visions, some true, some not, and you'd have to learn to distinguish between those two. The third and final option would go around it by not giving you your memories, but someone else."

Harry, who had stared at the floor the whole time suddenly looked up at that.

"Someone else?" he said with a small slur.

"Well, we would create or insert a new person into your old life, and would give this person not only your old memories, but your current consciousness. For yourself it wouldn't change much when it comes to your state of mind and your perception, but it would force you to choose a new body. Each and every one of these three options will be a change your life a lot, now you need to choose wisely, as you have only this one chance. Take all the time you..."

"I choose the third option!" Harry yelled.

"Umm, are you sure? You know you have all the time in the world to choose, and I would highly recommend..."

Normally Harry would've listened to her, he would've listened and chosen wisely, but the alcohol still affected him now, and so he quickly made up his mind, based on half-understood sentences, wild speculations and weird fantasies.

"Yeah, like, I always wanted to have a sister or something, and you said you could give me a sister, or my old self a sister, and she would help him, right? And then I'd totally help me and stuff, and Harry would kill Voldimorts a lot cooler, and girls totally like boys being heroes and all, and then I'd get like five girlfriends, or maybe just three, five sounds like a lot of work, and anyway that's why I choose option number three! You understand?"

In his liquor-filled brain all of this had made perfect sense, he'd get a sister, become liked by everyone and get laid a lot, instead of what he had actually asked for, which was himself becoming a sister for his younger self, and helping him on his adventures.

Fate, who misunderstood his rambling as being shy about a very private wish of changing his gender, instead as seeing is as the alcohol-induced nonsense it was, decided to grant him this wish, and his chance to live the happy life he had always deserved.

And with that, Harry Potter was reborn as a girl.


Author's Notes: Sup everyone. This will be my plot-bunny collection for the Harry Potter universe: A collection of everything that doesn't really warrant a submission of its own. I might pick up individual ideas in the future and turn them into full stories, but I'll most likely not. As this thing doesn't have a coherent story anyway, I'll accept prompts in the reviews, and if I see anything interesting, I'll turn them into a chapter for you.