The Dangers of Sleeping with Darcy Lewis

Jan 2013

After several months of courting Darcy I, Loki the God of Mischief decided I wanted to sleep with her. We had been having sexual relations for a month or so but in order to keep up appearances I would sleep in my own bed and her in hers but I was fast losing interest in this practice and wished to sleep with her for the entire night. Since Darcy had no family and it would improper for us to continue in such a fashion without family consent I went to speak with Thor and Jane.

Jane didn t support my early attempts to be with Darcy but over time she relented and allowed us to court. Since that time Thor has become Darcy s older brother if you would and as such I required his consent because after all if you are going to spend the night with a woman you should be thinking of a proper relationship in marriage. And so I found myself at the dining room table with Jane and Thor.

"Jane, Thor, I wish to speak with you on an important matter, Darcy. I would like to start sleeping with her at night in her bed."

Jane gave me the oddest look and started to laugh, even Thor was smiling...no that was the wrong word...smirking at me. I am the God of Mischief, I smirk not him.

In-between her laughs Jane said sure, it was my problem and at that Thor starting laughing out loud. I was shocked, how could he take such a matter of importance like it was nothing.

"Explain, Miss Foster."

"Well, there is something you should know about Darcy and her sleeping habits. It s really not safe to sleep with her. She steals the whole bed, the covers, talks constantly and well pushes people out of the bed. It s really not safe, even for a god."

Jane was very matter of fact about it but patted my hand and gave her consent. Turning to Thor I was amused at his response.

"Darcy is a strong woman and in the bed I know she is strong, think of the pain and damage you will suffer. Why, I can recall when I tried to wake her once she punched me, hit me on the jaw and it hurt considering who threw the punch. Think on this Loki, but I give my blessing."

I left them both at the table and went to my own residence that I shared with Darcy and began to make the place ready. We would celebrate with dinner and a sex this new step in our relationship.

Night One:

After dinner and sex we retired to the living room to watch her late night tv and I asked her if I could spend the night with her. She gave me an odd look and repeated the list of warnings Jane had shared but in the end with all the kissing and fondling she consented.

The night was uneventful, she was like rock not moving or speaking, no noise except the quiet hiss of her breathe and occasional snore. They must be lying or mistaken, she was a perfect bed partner.

In the morning Darcy asked how I rested and I told her fine. She was a perfect partner, nothing had happened and we went about our day.

Night Two:

Sadly to say, the night was a repeat of night one.

Night Three:

Again, a repeat of night one. No change, still like a rock.

Night Four:

Darcy was not in the mood for my attempts at sex that night and unlike the other nights there was a consequence. She stole the ENTIRE bed. Now let me share, the bed is rather large,I built it myself to my own design. The bed is 8 feet long by 8 wide, I like space during sex and Darcy is an avid bed person. Forgot the sofa she spends her time reading on the bed and I wished for her to comfortable. Somehow in the night she turned diagonal with her head at the far corner of the bed on her side and her feet in my face on the opposite diagonal corner with her arms out laying the middle of the bed. I awoke to her feet kicking me so she could unwind the blankets for her feet. Sighing, I moved positions to lay next to her. A mistake, she rolled on top of me. Not a half roll but an entire roll, more than half of her body was on top of me. Yes, I could have rearranged myself and her but I did not instead I realised her laying on top of me. she was comfortable and happy in addition according to my theory, I could most likely get guilt sex out of the deal.

In the morning I gave my report and my theory was proven correct.

Night Five

Girls night out, Darcy came home very late and I was already asleep. Don t fret I had a double watching her the time and he would have alerted me to her being in danger, which I doubt since she still had that awful weapon thing in her purse. She crawled into bed and snuggled close to me since the night was cold and fell asleep. Hours later I awoke freezing and found the source of my temperature discomfort. Darcy had stolen all the blankets and cocooned herself like a caterpillar becoming a butterfly, the only visible part was her head. I sat up trying to find how to undo her creation but could not figure it out. It seemed where one blanket should have ended there was another beginning and I didn t want to use magick for fearing of harming her or waking her so I went in search of another blanket and laid back down. I was beginning to think maybe the others were correct in their tellings but no matter, I loved Darcy and this was just an odd quirk that made her more endearing.

Guilt sex was out of the question since she was hungover but she did feel sorry for me and offered to make it up to me at a the later date. Noneless I promised I would continue to sleep with her no matter the danger.

Night Six:

Darcy didn't just speak in her sleep, no, she had conversations and loud ones at that with great detail. I woke up in the middle of her chat with the Avengers. She was going over some mission details with them and what made it all the better was in the middle she turned and spoke to Tony telling him to stop staring at her chest while turning back the other way to tell Thor to stop making a mess with his pop-tarts. I was besides myself and started laughing when I felt a sharp smack on my hand.

"Nick Fury, you stop laughing right this minute or you can go outside and sit in the time-out chair."

The look on her face was priceless. She was annoyed and her eyes were wide open in this evil looking stare. I could not contain myself I laughed so hard that Darcy woke up and asked what was wrong. I couldn t tell her so instead I showed her and we spent a great deal of time of laughing and then having more guilt sex. This wasn't so bad...famous last words.

Later on, around dawn I awoke to her SCREAMING bloody murder about a squid trying to kill her and her boat. I grabbed her up from the bed and looked for a squid but saw none. Another dream I suppose and yet Darcy didn t wake. I laid her back down and got up for the day. I was very tired. Every night I kept doubles watching us sleep and during the day I had a double following her. I was becoming very tired but how long could Darcy continue with this sleep issue since she had tons of energy every day it must last in cycles, hopefully we were at the end of the cycle.

Around noon she found me on the sofa and I shared with the squid dream and she laughed, no more pizza before bed she said expect I don't recall having pizza before bed. Oh well.

Thor came over for a visit and asked for a report. I told him everything and soon found him on the floor laughing. He said I could back out now before my life was destroyed but I said no, I would continue to sleep with Darcy. He smiled and patted my shoulder before leaving me alone to think about the matter.

What was the cause of these sleep behaviors? She didn t eat anything strange before bed and she had no magick spells on her besides the ones I placed for protection. What variable was I miss...missing? Sex.

The first three nights were had sex. The fourth night we didn't and that is when this started. We had sex on the fifth day but not before bed and the same with last night, the sixth night. Sex before bed would resolve this problem. Surely, because Jane said this is has been a problem for a long time and Darcy has been without a lover for a long time before me. We must have more sex in order for her to sleep like a rock again.

A most perfect plan.