I DON'T PARTY
Silence was the most golden thing to me. I only ever made two friends in my life, both of which became apart of my life in kindergarten. When the three of us graduated from senior public school, one of them left and moved to the city. I thought I would cry a river.
All I had left was one person... his name was Gray. He was very anti-social, but had a crush on one of the girls in my math and drama classes. Her name was Mary. I didn't see what was so great about her except that she wore glasses... along with a few other people in my classes.
The drama didn't begin until the beginning of senior public school. I was always with Gray and my friend who moved away, Kai. They were both guys, and I was the lone female in the group. The crowd eventually nicknamed me "shadow", because I was always following them around.
Of course they knew how much they were hurting me. But they didn't care. Why should they?
For two years, I was called mean names and was shoved into lockers whenever somebody got the chance to. Life was torture, but I pushed forwards with my studies. I ended up getting an average in both of my senior public school years of eighty percent. My parents were satisfied.
When the eighth grade graduation finally arrived, I was determined to be a star for a day. My plan, as I had figured, didn't work, and the popular, rich or smart-aleck groups took centre stage, leaving me -as I like to say- in the background singing sad songs.
I was awarded the drama award at graduation, holding the highest mark in not just my grade, but the entire school: that was a ninety-nine. I missed a perfect achievement by a single percent. I didn't mind, I was just happy to be holding the drama award.
To this day, I still didn't understand why drama was my thing. But one of my thoughts was because my life was filled with so much drama, that the subject easily became my cliff, hanging above a pouring waterfall.
When Kai left at the end of the summer, I knew it was going to be difficult for me to adjust in high school. For one, I only had one friend left, and I only had two classes with them that entire year: drama and english. Otherwise, I was on my own, trying to cope with a Gray-less life, as I called it. As I had suspected, the bullying continued.
Whenever the opportunity came, I ran to Gray and asked him to help me. He did his best to protect me, but sometimes it was just hopeless. And when Mary started making fun of me, Gray slowly started avoiding me.
At the end of grade nine, I was friendless - within reach. I wrote Kai almost everyday, telling him about how horrible my life had become. I just wanted to run off to the city and find him. But I knew I couldn't do that. My parents would absolutely freak out, and I didn't want that happening.
And then... it got to the point... I felt suicidal.
My mother predicted I would eventually get to this stage, so she called for a therapist to come to see me immediately. I quietly complied, crying another bucket of tears.
The therapist arrived later that day. It was a middle-aged woman, who asked my parents to go into another room while I exercised my feelings. And right then and there, I spilled almost, if not everything that had been happening to me in the past three years. I even said some things that I hadn't even told my own parents. I used about three boxes of tissue that day.
Gray and I became friends again when tenth grade began. He told me how sorry he was about what he had done to me in the latter part of the previous school year, and told me that he'd never do such a thing again. I didn't forgive him, but we still became friends again.
After the suicide passed from my mind, the stress began. I was either too lazy to do homework one night, I would tell my parents that I was too sick to go to school that day, or I'd run off during my classes to the beach -even in the winter- to cry.
One day, my older brother, Rick, came into my room to have a private conversation with him. He too also tried to stick up for me, but it just wasn't enough. He was also two grades older than me, which meant that when eleventh grade would start, he'd be gone.
"Listen, Poppy... we've somehow got to get you to breakaway from your past and into a brand new future," he told me. I wasn't surprised that he said that to me. I wasn't surprised that he had called me Poppy either. No one called me by my real name, which was Popuri.
"Don't give up, Poppy. Keep on striving and you will be a successor. You've got to trust me. And you've got to trust yourself. Believe."
Rick always gave good advice. It was something that just came natural to him, I guess. Agreeing with him, I said that I was going to start standing up for myself and fighting back. It was easier said than done, though. My words didn't become a reality, and nothing changed.
Tenth grade came to a close. I was still drying my eyes at least every or every other day, and it was depressing. I wanted to become me, but I knew that was never going to be happening. I had no trust in myself; I didn't believe in myself; I had no self-esteem... but the biggest negative about me was that I didn't know how to be myself... it was like I was attached to strings and someone was controlling me.
The first day of summer was bliss for me. I wouldn't be treated badly, since I wouldn't be going anywhere, except for next door, which was the ranch. My family owned a poultry farm, so I was out and about at least once a day, either trying to catch a chicken, or doing an errand or two.
"How has your summer been to date?" Rick would ask me every weekend.
"Good," I would reply, trying to wear a sappy looking smile so he'd get out of my face.
But I knew the reality would soon hit. Rick really did graduate and was ready to leave for college. All I was going to have left was Gray, and only Gray. Nobody else. I may have been having a good summer, but I knew the worst was yet to come.
Boy, was I ever right.
The first day of eleventh grade was quiet. I was now apart of the top two grades in the school, which meant I was a role model. But not a very good one. Who would want to live a bucket of agony during their school career?
Then... there was tragedy.
On the second day of school, Mary and her best friend, Elli Van Douglas (I called her Elli Van Doopliss), brought drugs to school. I definitely didn't want to be around them when they had illegal items in the pockets of their jackets. I ran and hid the entire day.
But at the end of the day, Mary and Elli both found me in the snap of a finger. I was crying, as usual, at the beach, with Gray sitting next to me. He told me to let it all out and just cry. I complied, choking my way through my words.
Mary tapped Gray's shoulder, and he spun around, unaware that there were two girls standing behind him.
"Why... hey, there... Mary... and Elli. I haven't seen you... well, since a few hours ago! Elli, you look great! Did you quit the Fantabulous Diet? Excellent work there, child!" Elli eyed Gray and jabbed him in the stomach. She laughed so hard, that Mary actually had to grab her shoulders and tell her to hush.
After the pain died down, Gray got back on his feet and looked at the girls. "Anyways, whatcha doin' here anyway? I've just been watching the ocean with" -He turned to look at me, but didn't dare say a word- "...yeah, so. Whatcha doin' here?"
Mary and Elli both laughed.
"You're with her!" Mary cried out loud. "Who would hang out with such a tramp?" Tears started forming in my eyes. "That's the ugliest little... ugh, thing... you'll ever encounter in your lifetime. C'mon, Gray! Breakaway from her like you did... what was it? A while ago? Oh, like it matters! Just get away from her, or else you'll catch poultry cooties!"
While the girls continued to laugh, Gray looked at me and saw the pain in my face. He didn't know what to do, and quite frankly, neither did I. At the time, all that I could have begged for more than anything else, was death. It was the only thing that I thought of.
Death. Like thorns sailing into my heart.
"Ah, we can just leave her here for the birds to come and get. But they'll probably die if they even sink a single tooth into that dirty flesh." The tears began pouring from my eyes now. My world was being taken over.
"So Gray... would you like to try something that we've been hanging onto for all day?" Elli asked my friend, a flirtatious look on her face.
Scratching the back of his neck, Gray said, "Well, I dunno, really. I've been pretty stressed all day and... yeah, I'm, like, pretty tired now. Another time, okay?" He smiled one of his corny smiles.
"Oh, C'MON! I mean, it's not like it's gonna hurt you or anything!"
Did Gray know what the two girls were hanging onto? He must've, or else he wouldn't have backed out so quickly. And from what he had said, I was betting that they were the ones with the drugs. I had to get Gray and myself away from the beach as quickly as possible.
Getting up at record speed, I grabbed Gray's shoulder, and stared at the two girls opposite of me. I said in a low, cold voice, "Whatever you've got obviously doesn't interest Gray. So take your little snobby behinds back to the trash dump with you, and don't ever come back here again! Got it, you slut?"
Gray covered his mouth. It had finally happened. I stood up for myself, but not just myself, but also for Gray.
"What the hell did you just say to us?" Mary barked at me, cracking her fists, approaching the two of us. I grinned an enormous smile. This looked like the perfect time to run. And so I did.
It was weird running around the beach for nearly a quarter of an hour. Mary and Elli were both determined to catch us, but luckily on our part, they were unsuccessful and eventually ran out of breath. They admitted that we were quick, and we thanked them.
"So what do you two girls have with you that you wanted Gray to do so badly?" I asked them.
"Be a nice little girl and don't ask what's none of your business, got it?" Elli shot back, glaring at me.
"They've got drugs; pot in particular!" Gray exclaimed, pointing at Mary.
Elli's jaw was hanging open. Mary began walking very slowly towards Gray, saying along the way, "I don't know what you see in Popuri. I don't know why you're even friends with her. She's a stupid little slut with no life. The only thing that she can do is drama... because her life is nothing but drama!"
That was my excuse for being so good at drama... and Mary seemed to agree with me, even though I had never mentioned it to anybody else except for my parents. I was quite surprised, or... well, no, that's not the word. The proper word to use would be stunned.
Then suddenly, Mary charged at the two of us, at full speed.
I screamed, and pushed Gray to the ground. Mary didn't stop running though, and toppled over the two of us, the drugs flying out of her jacket pocket. I gasped, and got up, running for them, but Elli got there first.
"Nice try, nerd," she said to me, as politely as she could. "But there's no way you're getting these."
Without warning, and unaware of what I was about to do, I punched Elli in the face. She screeched so loud, that I could hear my ears ringing. The drugs, however, flew out of her hands. I quickly caught them and ran onto the dock.
Elli was lying in the sand, holding her face. Gray ran up right behind me, with Mary's right foot on the dock, and her left foot in the sand. "If you throw those, your life will be over. ELLI, GET OVER HERE!"
Choking back her tears, and still holding half of her face, Elli got up and walked next to Mary. We were now stuck out on the dock. The girls thought that they had us. Gray and I just snickered though. I threw the drugs as far as I could, and the two of us hopped into the freezing autumn water.
The two of us were both fast swimmers, so we quickly got to shore and ran from the beach. Mary and Elli were a metre or two on our trail.
We didn't know where to run when we got to the centre of the town square, and ended up running in two separate directions. I ran north, while Gray ran south. I didn't have time to turn around though, or else Mary and Elli would have had me in their grasp. I ran forward, to the church.
The priest, Carter, and myself were pretty good friends (and basically my only outside-of-school friend), so he had given me a key to the church to get in if I ever needed to. I just so happened to have the key present with me at the time being, and I slid it into the keyhole immediately. I stormed in.
Unfortunately, I couldn't grab the key. Mary was right behind me, and shoved me to the ground. I saw Elli take the key and throw it across the village. Had she really just done that? I was in doubt, but I knew that it happened.
"Finally, your little marathon ends. What? Can't out-run two totally out of shape females, Popuri?" Mary questioned me, a smirk resting on her face.
My reply to her was a kick in the legs. She fell down, screeching. That was my cue to get up and run to the front of the church. Ignoring her friend's groaning, Elli began charging towards me. We ran throughout the pews until I tripped. That wasn't the greatest time for that to be happening.
Elli jumped onto me, and started beating on me. I tried defending myself, but I couldn't. After a minute or two of constant punching and smacking, I had basically passed out, but my eyelids were still open. My breathing was intense.
"Had enough of that yet, you dirty whore!" Elli screamed in my face.
Mary limped over to her friend and said, "Well good job. We can just leave her here. Someone'll eventually find her. Well after all of these years, you finally received a taste of your own medicine, eh, Popuri?"
I didn't reply. Hell, I couldn't reply.
"Let this be a lesson to all skanks out there that you don't mess with Mary or Elli!" Mary exclaimed, an extreme smile on her face. "So, goodbye tootz! I can't wait to tell everybody that we kicked your sorry little tush!"
At that moment, I heard the church doors swing open, and the two girls jumped. Without a doubt, it was Gray. He immediately screamed, "Okay, guys! Let's get these two! They deserve a good pummeling!"
Okay, guys? Did I just hear what I thought I had?
"Mary and Elli," I heard a second voice say. I recognized that voice! It belonged to none other than my brother Rick! So that's where Gray had ran! My house to get my brother! But was there another person with him? After all, the word guys was plural.
"I don't get what the point of fighting is. One thing: you two shouldn't have even been holding the drugs and because of this, you're going to pay. But not just for that, but also because you hurt the most innocent person in Mineral Town. Popuri is more deserving than both of you two combined. You're in for a world of hurt! And it's your fault too, skanks!"
That voice belonged to KAI! Oh my God, what was going on here?
At full speed, I heard the three men thundered across the church, and slammed into the two girls. And at that time, I gently closed my eyes, fearing that my life had come to an end.
Suddenly, I heard a voice talking to me in my head. It kept saying: those who don't believe, will never advance. Those who trust themselves, will go a long way. And those who fight for the good, don't party.
I awoke with a startle. I was surrounded by four people: Gray, Rick, Kai and my mother, Lillia. It was an unusual moment. My first few questions were, "Am I okay? Am I alive? Do I have a bruised face? Am I in deep, deep, deep trouble?"
My mother answered, "You are fine, honey. I'm proud of you for standing up for yourself for once, and doing the right thing. Mary and Elli's families are raising complaints, but we've won the war, whatever they have to offer, good or bad, true or false."
Kai couldn't ever tell me why he had fought along side with Gray and Rick. I didn't quite get how he came all the way from the city in so little time. He did mention, though, that he predicted something was up. I didn't catch his drift, but just pretended to understand.
For the rest of the school year, I was welcomed with open arms. I made so many friends during that school year, that I lost count by the following summer. It was just... mind-boggling. I could not believe it at all.
I learned a valuable lesson from Mary and Elli. A good one too: never let other people get in your way. Perhaps you'll even receive some appreciation from others... that's all I had ever wanted, and after so long... it's what I received. I couldn't have been any happier in my life at any other time... except, perhaps, the time I received the drama award, which still proudly hangs on my bedroom wall.
I've finally found where I belong. And that's in my own little world, where drama is everything. I'll never stop believing, never stop being myself, and never party. I just wanna be me. And that's who I'm gonna be until the day that I die.
There ain't no two ways about it. I am who I am, and that's not gonna change the world. Be yourself!