Consider Yourself disclaimed. This story too. This is an AU to the omake in the first chapter of UNWH and contains mature content.
Hinata's team had just finished their mission for the day, and subsequently been dismissed by their jonin instructor. Having just recovered Tora the cat, Hinata wanted to freshen up a bit before going, Naruto-stalking, I mean watching the waves of the ocean, when a doll flew out of a window in the Hokage's Tower, and knocked her to the ground. After shaking the stars from her eyes, she examined the doll, one of the highly coveted Super Shinobi Pals, before releasing a blood-freezing, "KAAAWWAAAIIIIIIIIIII!" The offender had the perfect shade of blonde-hair, and nigh perfect blue eyes. And the exotic whiskers. She rushed home, the doll waving in the wind behind her. She deposited her things in her room before going out back to the Head Family's private onsen (it's the only thing she enjoyed about being a member of the head branch of their dysfunctional family), for a long relaxing soak after an unnecessarily long mission. She didn't understand why Kiba insisted on antagonizing that poor helpless cat. Having already eaten, Kurenai-sensei insisted they stop to get something after Kiba chased Tora off for the third time, she turned in for the night.
Hanabi had a wonderful day. She meditated in the garden, practiced her jyuuken, snubbed some commoners on the playground, insulted her sister as she chased a cat, and then she went home to eat the supper that the Hyuuga's private chefs prepared for them. But alas, she turned halfway between her soup and her entree to mock Hinata, only to find that she wasn't there. "How unlike nii-chan to skip dinner," she thought, and then pushed it out of her mind as her food was set in front of her.
When she finished her meal, however, she desperately felt the need to taunt her sister, and thus went in search of her. "Hinata, I'm coming in, don't say anything if you don't mind," she called out singsongily. When Hinata didn't respond, (it may have had something to do with the privacy seals that blocked all sound from outside of the room) she pushed the door open. Immediately, her milky skin went crimson. It darkened as much as possible when Hinata moaned, "Oh, yes, sempai, right there."
. "So that's why all those common girls like those dolls," she thought to herself. She inched the door shut again and crept off to her room, where, despite the fact that it was a commoner's pleasure, she indulged in the dolls herself, if only so that she could rub the extra special signed Kakashi Hatake Super Shinobi Pal in their plebeian faces. Accidentally, she left the door open an inch, and pulled said doll off of its shelf next to the first edition Itachi Uchiha (clan murderer or not it was amazing!) and begin to emulate (she'd have to berate herself later) her elder sibling.
Something was wrong. Hiashi Hyuuga read the report in front of him for a third time. He finished, and then realized that he still had no idea what it said. He glanced at the stack of paperwork to the clock, then back the the paperwork, and then to the clock, and then it hit him. Where was Hanabi? Normally this was the time of day where she sat in his office and told him (unwillingly on his part) about her day. Sure maybe it was wrong to think his daughter annoying like that, but honestly, how much fun can it be to rub it in the peasants' faces everyday that they're peasants. He could understand the sibling rivalry, Hizashi was his younger brother (even if just barely), so he knew how siblings were. At least Hinata had hobbies, like gardening, and making medicinal creams, and for some reason, some obsessive fascination with fishcakes. He looked at the clock again and decided it was time to take a short break and check on his younger daughter. He set the paper back in the in box and the proceeded to locate his daughter. None of the branch members saw her go to take her evening bath, perhaps she retired to her quarters for some light reading? He snorted. "That'd be the day," he thought realistically. The girl thought that just because she had people to read the books to her meant that it would be degrading to read it herself. Her door was open, so he peaked in. He cleared his throat. "I think we need to have a talk, Hanabi," in a tone that said stop what your doing, put your clothes on, and follow me, NOW. She followed him back to his study, where he sat her in the chair across from him. "Where to begin," he thought to himself. "When you get older, you'll notice that your body starts going through changes. You'll begin to grow taller, you'll grow hair in certain areas of your body, your voice will change, and many other things," He began. "I would do anything to get out of this," he thought to himself.
Just then, one of the branch members slammed the door open. "Lord Hiashi, we have a situation. Orochimaru and Itachi are attacking the compound!"
"Thank god," Hiashi thought as he ran out of the room to help repulse the attack. "Hanabi, wait here for me."
Later
Hiashi stared into his glass as he swirled the sake. He'd rather fight Orochimaru again than have to go finish giving Hanabi the talk. He looked over to his neighbor and asked, "How would you do it?" he asked.
"Hmm," the man asked, looking up from his book.
"I caught my younger daughter in a compromising situation and need to give her the talk. How would you do it?" Hiashi elaborated.
"I have just what you need," the man replied. He pulled out a scroll, wiped a bit of blood across it, and handed him the box that appeared. When your done, it'll automatically dispel itself." And so Hiashi returned to his study, and gave Hanabi the talk, Icha Icha style.