Note: minor spoilers through 3x19.
{ I own nothing }
When she thinks back on the past year and a half of her life, she tries to pinpoint the moment when everything changed. The easy answer would be the day her parents died, the day she lost most of her family and her whole world shattered. It would be even easier to blame everything on Stefan, to say it all started the day she met him outside the men's room at school. Those would be the obvious answers, the ones nobody would blame her for giving.
But if she's honest with herself - really, truly, brutally honest - everything changed the day Damon kissed Katherine when he really meant to kiss Elena.
She'd known he felt something for her. How could she not know, honestly? He'd changed since returning to Mystic Falls. Little by little, his humanity returned to him, his ability to care, and she'd felt every bit of it pointed her way on more than one occasion. She loved Stefan, that was true, but she'd have to be blind not to see the way Damon looked at her. He'd never done anything about it before, never made it seem like there was anything more than lust behind those intense blue eyes of his, but the kiss that never was changed things for her. It was like the world shifted on its axis, just a little bit, and she could see past his deflections and his sarcastic remarks and his selfish motives and knew, deep down in his soul, that he felt something for her. Something real, tangible. It was hard to acknowledge it then. Hell, after everything they've been through, it's still hard.
Now that Stefan's back and his humanity has returned, she has a choice to make. She knows it, and they both know it, too. The air between the three of them is so charged with tension she feels like she might suffocate. It was easy in the beginning. Stefan was so sweet, so loving, so safe, and Damon was a spark on the verge of igniting a raging inferno. It was easier when Stefan was the good guy and Damon was the bad guy. And then she saw a glimpse of Stefan's dark side, and Damon shed light on the pieces of him that aren't reckless and selfish and cold, and the lines between them got blurred.
Everything she felt last year is still there - she still loves Stefan. Maybe she'll always love Stefan, in spite of everything that happened. He would certainly be the easier choice, the safe choice. But Damon's always there, just below the surface, reminding her how he was there, how he's always been there.
When I drag my brother from the edge and deliver him back to you, I want you to remember the things you felt when he was gone.
She hears his words in her head, feels his rough hands on her cheeks, remembers the way her breath caught in her throat like it was yesterday. She's always taken it for granted just a little bit, the fact that despite her love for his brother, he's been there for her more times than she can count. He was there for her when Stefan wasn't, when Stefan didn't want to be. She needs to remember that. She doesn't want to forget everything he's done for her, and she can't push it aside like it doesn't mean anything. She can't forget the way he kissed her on her front porch that night, stirring up things inside her she didn't know she was capable of feeling. She can't forget the way she kissed him in Denver, the way she threw herself off the ledge of reason and sense and gave herself over to emotion, and he was there to catch her.
Stefan loves her, with his whole heart, and she knows that given the chance, he'll never break hers again.
But Damon loves her, too. His love is volatile, a roller coaster of emotions, and she knows he could break her heart without even trying. He's dangerous, and yet, she's always felt safe with him.
The answer lies somewhere in the middle of that tangled web. She just needs a little time to untangle it.