Blaine lay motionless on his bed as he stared at the pictures of himself and Kurt on his bedside table. Tears ran endlessly down his face. In every cell of his body was hatred and regret for that horrible mistake that he had done just a few weeks ago. Sleeping with Eli was the one moment in his life he regretted and it was the one moment that would destroy the rest of his life. It was the opening night of "Greece" at Mckinley and just seeing Kurt brought all of those emotions back, even though they had never really left.
The past few weeks had been some of the worst in Blaine's entire life. Basically, the entire glee club had turned on him. They hadn't bullied him to his face, but through the snide, opinionated comments on Facebook, Blaine could tell that Kurt was where their true loyalties lied, not with him. He hadn't hung out with anyone either since the day he came back from New York after telling Kurt. It had just be a constant struggle of loneliness and he had to stop himself from ending it many times. But, tonight the feeling was so much stronger. Kurt's word's in the hallway hit him and tore at the remaining pieces of his heart. Kurt didn't love him anymore. Without Kurt, Blaine felt as though he was nothing.
The truth was...no one cared about him, in Blaine's perspective anyway. His "friends" couldn't be bothered with him and the love of his life was gone. Not even his family, who never made an appearance anymore in the large, cold mansion, loved him. This pain that Blaine felt needed to end, but he couldn't do that without leaving at least a message for Kurt.
Blaine went into the bathroom and took out a bottle of pain pills left over from his eye surgery and set them on the bathroom counter. There looked to be about 20 of them left. That would be more than enough to do the trick. Blaine decided against leaving a note. No one would even care enough to read it, so why bother? Blaine picked up his phone after shoving the bottle of pills in his pocket and dialed Kurt's phone number. The phone continued to ring and ring. Blaine was certain that Kurt would not pick up the phone and he would leave a voicemail, but then all of a sudden Kurt's voice echoed through the receiver.
"Blaine?" Kurt asked.
"Kurt...I didn't think you would pick up." Blaine stuttered
"Then why did you call?" Kurt asked angrily.
"I-I just needed to s-say goodbye." Blaine told him as the tears began to pool in the corners of his eyes.
"What do you mean goodbye? Blaine, where are you going?" Kurt asked frantically.
"Somewhere I can't hurt you anymore and the pain can't hurt me anymore." Blaine replied. Kurt began to speak, but Blaine cut him off. "Kurt, I know that you hate me, but I want you to know I never stopped loving you...I will never stop loving you. That's all I wanted to say...Goodbye."
"Blaine,don't do i-! Rachel, a car!" Kurt screamed in the phone and a loud bang echoed into Blaine's ears.
"Kurt? Kurt?" Blaine screamed, but there wasn't any response. Blaine could only hear the sounds of moaning in the background and a series of sirens. Blaine dropped his phone and ran downstairs and out the front door. He ran down the street where he saw two ambulances and a few cop cars. Frantically, he looked around. He saw Rachel on a stretcher. She was awake but blood ran down her forehead from a cut on her head and a deep shard of glass was embedded in her abdomen. Blaine felt like he was going to be sick, when he looked over and on top of the hood of Rachel's car was a lifeless Kurt. There was a hole in the windshield where Blaine assumed Kurt had flown through. The paramedics were extremely careful when they lifted Kurt's body and lowered him onto a stretcher. Kurt's face had various cuts all over his face and there was blood coming from his head where the window hit.
"Come on, he's critical." The one paramedic yelled. Blaine, on a spur of the moment decision, ran over to the paramedic.
"Please, let me go with him please!" Blaine begged.
"Who are you?" the paramedic asked.
"I'm his boy- his ex-boyfriend. He's my friend please." Blaine whimpered.
"Alright, kid get in." the paramedic replied. Blaine climbed in and stood in the corner of the ambulance in silence as the paramedics worked on Kurt. Kurt remain unconscious the entire time, but maybe that was for the best. He would surely be in a lot of pain. When they arrived at the hospital, doctors took Kurt into a trauma room to work on saving his life. Blaine stood in the panic of emergency room and looked around and didn't know what to do. He saw some chairs, that he assumed was a waiting room and sat in them. He watched as the doctors rushed Rachel to surgery and knew that it was his fault. Everything was his fault. As Blaine sat in the chairs, he noticed a familiar figure walk into the emergency room. It was Burt, who instantly caught Blaine's glance and walked
over to him.
'How's Kurt?" Burt asked his eyes wet with tears.
"I-I don't know." Blaine stuttered as he tried to avoid eye contact with Burt.
"Kid, will you look at me?" Burt roared. "I-I just don't understand what happened!" Blaine's lower lip quivered as he finally looked up at Burt and began to talk, but was interrupted by the chaos of the doctors racing out of the room. Burt ran over and tried to catch up with the doctors.
"Please! That's my son. What's going on?" Burt cried frantically.
"Sir, your son has a bleed in his brain and it is causing it to swell. If we want to save your son's life, we need to get in the OR now!" A doctor told Burt quickly before rushing away. Blaine felt like he couldn't breathe. Kurt was dying and it was his fault. He pulled his legs up to his chest and began rocking back and forth and hyperventilating. Burt looked over and instantly walked over to Blaine.
"Kid...Blaine, it's going to be okay." Burt told him as he reached out and placed his hand on Blaine's shoulder.
"No! Don't touch me!" Blaine cried and continued to repeat it. He could hear Burt's voice talking to him, but he couldn't hear anything that he was saying. Blaine just couldn't take it anymore. All he did was cause others pain. He felt the bottle of pills in his pocket and he knew what he had to do. He got up from his seat and dashed away with Burt right behind him. Blaine found a bathroom and went inside it. He grabbed the bottle and frantically tried to get it open, but the cap wouldn't budge. He sobbed frustrated tears as he gripped the cap with all his might. Burt burst into the bathroom a few seconds later and saw the orange pill bottle in Blaine's hands. He had seen enough of those years ago when Elizabeth was sick to know what they were. But, Burt knew that Blaine intend to use these pills to get better.
"Blaine, give me the bottle." Burt yelled as he walked over to Blaine.
"No! I can't get it open." he sobbed. Burt grabbed onto the bottle, but Blaine wouldn't let go. They wrestled over it until the cap finally opened and the white and red pills spilled all over the ground. "No! Look what you did?" Blaine exclaimed. Burt grabbed a hold of him and held him tightly. "Let me go! I want to die! Let me go!" Blaine screamed.
"Help! Someone!" Burt yelled. Upon hearing Burt's call a nurse and a doctor entered into the bathroom. They saw the pills all over the floor and Blaine struggling in Burt's arms. The nurse ran out and grabbed a sedative, which the doctor proceeded to plunge into Blaine's necks. As soon as the needle hit his skin, Blaine went limp and he blacked out as the sedative took it's effect.
When Blaine woke up, his throat was dry. He desperately wanted some water, but he couldn't move. There were restrains wrapped around his hands that tied him down to his bed. He looked up and saw that none other than Burt was sitting in the chair against the wall.
"Burt…" He muttered softly as a cough escaped through his mouth. Burt walked over to Blaine and held a pink plastic cup up to his lips and helped Blaine take a sip. "Kurt?" he muttered.
"He's okay." Burt said.
"I didn't kill him." Blaine cried happily. "I didn't kill him." He repeated. "Oh god, but he still hates me and I love him so much. I was so stupid for so many reasons. I know Kurt told you...I didn't even know what I was doing when I slept with that guy. I was just so lonely and I didn't feel like I belonged anywhere. And then I tried to end my life, and I almost ended his. I only hurt people." Burt didn't say anything. He just took the edge of the curtain and pulled it back. On the other side was Kurt, who lay on his side, tears streaming down his face, with a white bandage around his head.
"Oh Blaine…" Kurt cried.
"K-kurt." Blaine sobbed, the tears flowing down his face because he couldn't wipe them away.
"Dad, can you help me up?" Kurt asked. Burt nodded and held Kurt into a wheelchair and then wheeled him over to Blaine's bed before leaving to give the two boys some privacy. Blaine couldn't bear to look at Kurt. Just seeing his face with all the cuts on it was a reminder of how foolish he had been.
"Blaine...look at me." Kurt commanded. Blaine shook his head. Kurt sighed, reached in through the bedrails of Blaine's bed and took Blaine's hand in his. "Look at me." he repeated. Blaine moved his head and looked at Kurt. "Don't you ever do that again. Do you understand me? I may be extremely mad at you, but I love you more than anyone in this world and I swear, if you leave me I won't survive."
"I-i'm sorry." Blaine sobbed.
"You are not are not nothing. you made a mistake. I'm not ready to be back together, but your my best friend and right now, that's more important." Kurt cried as he took his other hand and wiped away Blaine's tears. This wasn't under any circumstances considered a good place to be, but it was a step towards healing. Healing isn't easy, but what lies ahead is what you strive for and hope to accomplish, so Blaine at that moment was determined to be healed.