Disclaimer: Emmerdale, Robert, Aaron, Liv and Seb do not belong to me. As normal, I am just a fangirl with a plot.
Robert Sugden, Single Dad.
Chapter 1
Up and down. Up and down.
Robert Sugden was not so sure when the rise and fall of Bex White's chest had become so important to him.
Except he did. It was when she had become the mother of his son. He sat with Seb in arms in the ITU of Hotton General Hospital, praying at the end of all of this, to a god he did not know if he believed in, that they were not going to lose her.
Seb needed his mother so much. Robert knew what it was like to be without a mother, and he did not want that life for his son. He would not wish that on anyone, least of all his lad.
If Seb was going to have any sort of decent life, Robert was sure he was going to need at least one decent parent. And though he had been a dad for a while now, he was convinced that no matter what else, he was yet to count as a decent parent.
If he was a good dad then there was no way he would have taken his little boy out of the car which his mother had put him into. If he was a decent dad then he was not going to have taken off with him and put them all in the position where his mothers family felt they had to give chase. And yet there was a voice within him which said actually, yes he would have. Deep down he knew he had been doing the right thing for it was not as if he had done it to upset Rebecca. He had done it so she was not going to take his little boy to Australia.
He held Seb a little together at their mere thought of it. He was not going to lose him. He was not going to let anyone take his lad. He had been a decent dad when he had tried to protect his son from a life without one of his parents.
Yet that was the very situation which his son was in right then.
If Bex had only gone to mediation…
But there did not seem to be a lot of point in thinking like that now and, whatever she had done wrong, whatever sins she had committed, the lord only knew Rebecca had paid for it all so dearly and in some many ways.
The first way she had paid for it was with her own health. That was why the three of them were sitting in that room.
She had paid for it by missing time with Seb, the thing she had been trying to protect.
And in the end, she had had to pay for it with her family. When she woke up, for he was convinced that she was going to for she had to, she was going to awake to a world where her nearest and dearest were gone.
One of the first bits of news she was going to get was her dad and sister were dead.
He did not and could not imagine how she was going to feel. True, he had lost his mother and his father but it was not as if he had done it all at once and he had always had Victoria to get him through it.
He knew Rebecca was going to be devastated and so he was going to do everything within his power to make sure that when she did wake up, she at least had her son with her, so she knew there was still hope for her future.
She wasn't going to be on her own.
They stayed there with Bex for four hours during in which time Seb had one bottle, two nappy changes, and Robert tried three different lullabies to get him to sleep.
It was a case of comas by numbers for them.
This had become Roberts routine in the afternoon and he followed it almost religiously in high hopes that one of these familiar sounds would bring the mother of his son back.
He knew people were going to question why he was doing this. He had seen them when he had been loading up Seb in the car – he had read the thoughts in their mind. He was Robert Sugden so as far as well over half the village was concerned he had to have a motive for whatever he did – perhaps to get his hands on Rebecca's inheritance - and maybe he had a reason for being there as well – but if he did, then it was to keep her safe and he had a feeling that was going to surprise people.
He could be wrong and if he was, then he could only hope that in time he was going to be forgiven for what he was thinking in time, but he had known Lachlan White for too long to trust him. He would not trust him as far as he could throw him and he never would.
And in his heart, he knew this came down to Lachlan.
He had done something which had meant he had lost his mother and his grandfather and he was the reason his aunt had nearly died.
One too many times he had seen the young man hanging about his aunt's room in a way which Robert minds did not like. The hardest thing was it was not as if he could even talk to anyone about what he was thinking because they all felt so sorry for Lachlan and he knew it sounded crazy. But that little freak had scared him Robert in the past when he had been conscious. He did not like to think what he could do a vulnerable woman in a coma who had no way of defending herself.
So Robert sat by Bex on guard for as much as the day as he could until they could hear the truth. He safeguarded the mother for a son he had once not wanted.
There was no way Robert was going to sleep easy until she could.
Seeing the time, however, he got up from where he had been seated. If he could stay on guard for longer then he would but he had a little boy who needed his rest.
Seb coughed a little as his father put him into his pram, causing Robert to make nonsense noise and stroked his sons check to soothe him.
"It's ok, little man," he didn't have his mum right then but his dad was not going anywhere.
"He is fine with me Rebecca – you just focus on getting yourself better for our boy," Robert murmured in leaving and then made for the door, left the hospital and drove home.
When he got there, however, he found Lucky White was still on his mind.
If the truth was known, he was going to feel a lot better for Seb and for Bex when Lachlan was out of their lives. He was sure the day was going to come eventually. Robert was not going to have him around his boy, that was for sure. Seb was no more capable of defending himself than his mother and who really knew what Lachlan was capable of. Though they were cousins, he hoped to ensure his son and Lachlan were never going to be family.
Which was in complete contrast to his sister, who was probably the best friend, he had right then. Well maybe not, he thought as his heart tightened.
For just a moment he had been distracted by the person who was truly his best friend coming into his mind and he had not let himself be that in a number of days. He could not think of his best mate right then because he missed him too much. It did not matter that the two of them lived in the same place, for to him it felt as if they might as well be on different continents. That was his fault and he held his hands up to that. If he had been a different person who had shown a little more faith then he and his best mate would still have the kind of - friendship - which he wanted from him.
The kind of friendship which he neigh on needed from him just then, the one in which he got to call him husband. He breathed through the weakness which he allowed himself right then but there was no point in dwelling it.
He still had to get his lad bath, changed and give him a bottle before he tried to get him down for the night.
He was not going to be able to do that if he thought of Aaron for too long.
He turned his mind back to the matter in hand.
"How was she?" his sister asked as soon as he got into the cottage.
"No change," Robert admitted. He had hoped something was going to change by now but they had had no such luck.
"Dinner is on – come on, take your coat off."
Home was the place where they had to take you in - that was what Robert had heard.
And it was certainly true in their little cottage where within five minutes of being in, Robert had a strong coffee by his side. He was seated on the floor. Having taken off his coat and shoes, he had proceeded to put his son on the play mat for a roll around. Due to the fact they spent so much time at the hospital, Seb was not getting the same amount of play time Robert was sure he had had at Home Farm so normally appreciated it all the more. Yet he wasn't so active that evening.
"What is up with this little one?" asked Victoria, confirming her brother's suspicion his son was a little quiet as she brought in dinner for the two of them and Diane, who was to be joining them.
"Don't know," Robert admitted, wishing that he did.
When he had been at the hospital that day he had wondered if he should take his son down to paediatrics but Seb was taking his food and there had so far been no temperature. He was a little restless early that morning but had settled right down.
Diane had told him before he could not panic every time his son's behaviour was different to what it was the day before.
After all, he was just a little baby who at the end of the day was going through an awful amount and should not be going through what he was at such a young age. He was apart from the woman who had carried him for nine months after just nine weeks.
And it was on that point that he had to settle right then until Seb shown some other signs if he was ill.
As they sat down for dinner, the baby seemed happy enough as he babbled a little to himself. However, as his father, aunt and grandmother ate that was a situation which once more change and he became restless. Robert could feel his sons want for a cuddle.
"Someone is getting tired," Robert said knowingly as he got up from the dinner table as Seb let out a scream, leaving his meal half eaten and picked up his son.
"Is it time for someone to go to bed?" asked Victoria as her nephew whimpered a little in his father's arms. She got up and went to Roberts side, where she ran her hand over her nephew's head.
"I think it is," her brother confirmed.
"Why don't you finish your dinner – I can bath him," Victoria offered.
"Thank you but I can do it," Robert holding him close to his chest. He got that Vic and Diane wanted to help but he had to keep a bit of routine for Seb and for him to know who he was with. Though he knew his aunt and his grandma, it was not enough. Robert was sure his lad needed his dad.
Besides bedtime was one of Robert's favourite times of day with his son. Since the accident, he had learnt that bath time was when Seb was most likely to laugh. So much of their day was about his mum yet this often felt as if this was the only time for them. That night, Seb was as good as ever at bath time but it was obvious that he was tired as his eyes were closing before he had got out the water. Robert's boy was ready for bed.
At the end of the day, Robert Sugden found himself on his bed, cradling his son as Seb took his bottle, his little hand resting on the back of his fathers. The next day Robert was sure would be the same as that one had been – but there was hope and as long as they were together, as father and son, maybe it would all turn out fine.
"Mummy is going to be fine," he promised. "It's all going to be fine."
His throat tightened for at that moment the face of Aaron Dingle had once more popped into his head. Much as he disliked the fact, his fine and Seb's fine were very different things and that did not appear to be changing anytime soon.
"Whatever happens, we'll stick together little man," Robert murmured to himself more than his son as he kissed his forehead. And that was what he would cling too through the days to come.
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