Disclaimer: I own many things. Neither The Office nor its characters are among those things.

I'd love feedback: ideas on how to improve scenes, dialogue, etc.

"OF GREEN-EYED MONSTERS"


Chapter One: Rumors.

It's morning in the office. Jim sits at his desk. Kelly hunches over him, apparently going over some spreadsheets.

Dwight walks by, sits at his desk, moves his mouse and suddenly an ungodly noise issues from his computer terminal. That noise is the song "I'm Too Sexy."

Dwight (standing, yelling): This is totally unacceptable. JIM!

Jim (incredulous and confused): What? What is that?

On Dwight's screen there appears to be an animated Dwight, in nothing but a thong, dancing to the music; the whole office gathers around the computer and laughs uproariously.

Dwight: Jim!

Jim (still stifling a laugh, but sincere): I didn't do it. Really Dwight, it wasn't me.

Dwight angrily tries to bang every key to make the image go away. It won't. Finally, he just yanks the plug out.

Dwight (awkwardly picking up the computer): Pam, get me the IT guy's number. I'll be in the conference room. Whoever did this (glaring intently at Jim) will feel the wrath of Dwight K. Shrute. (slams the conference door shut)

Pam looks over at Jim waiting for some silent acknowledgement that he is indeed the author of the prank. Jim doesn't seem to notice her. Instead, Kelly leans down by Jim's ear and says something no one else can pick up.

Jim (laughing and looking impressed yet disbelieving): No way! That was awesome. (He offers two thumbs-up).

Kelly walks away. Jim smiles. In the background, Pam seems unhappy at her desk.

Talking head Jim: Kelly may be a world champion chatterbox, but I'm finding that she can be quite creative when she applies herself.
Later, in the lunchroom, Kelly and Jim sit together, laughing.

Kelly: … and then I asked Jan what second-base meant.

Jim: Oh, that's great.

Pam enters the lunchroom. She begins to sit down with Jim and Kelly.

Pam (tentatively, feeling as though she's interrupting): Hey guys.

Jim and Kelly both return the greeting.

Jim (getting up from the table): Oh, hey, I have a sales call I have to make. See you later.

Kelly (after Jim leaves the room): He's so cute. And he totally loved my prank on Dwight. Hey, you guys talk a lot. Do you know if Jim is seeing anyone?

Pam (clearly uncomfortable, stuttering): Um, no, I, um, don't know.

Kelly (bubbly and excited): I hope not. I think I might have a chance with him. What do you think?

Pam (looking like she's just been hit in the head with a shovel): I really don't know.

Talking head Pam: Kelly and Jim? Yeah, there's just no way. I don't see it. Nothing against Kelly; it's just that she's clearly not Jim's type.
It's the end of the day. Pam waits anxiously for Jim to get up. That'll be her cue to stand up as well. She's been lately noticing that Jim no longer waits for her and more and more often walks out without her. Today, she's ready to jump just as he does.

Kelly walks over to Jim.

Kelly: Ready? I've been looking forward to tonight all day.

Jim: Ah, yeah.

Kelly (walking out with Jim): Hey, did you see "Wife Swap" last night? Wasn't that crazy?

Jim (waving to Pam, but still talking to Kelly as they leave the office): Oh my God, could that woman be any more frightening?

Pam's clearly crestfallen.

It is the next morning. Pam walks into the office. She exchanges smiles and hellos with Jim, but he doesn't come over to talk to her right away like he usually does.

Later, in the break room, Pam is making her tea. She picks up her teapot and runs her hand along the ceramic finish and smiles, but it's a smile tinged with sadness.

Dwight walks in and makes a beeline right for Pam. Pam is clearly uncomfortable and annoyed.

Pam: What is it Dwight?

Dwight: Did you hear the rumors about Jim and Kelly?

Pam (a sudden horror seizing her): Uh, no, what?

Dwight (delighted to have gossip, grinning like a Cheshire cat): She and Jim came in the same car together this morning. And she's wearing the same clothes she had on yesterday. Kevin thinks they, you know, did it.

Pam is clearly stunned, though Dwight is too oblivious to notice.

Pam (angrily, her voice rising a bit): You know, Dwight, you are the last person in the office that should be spreading rumors about people in the office "doing it."

This time, it is Dwight that looks horrified. He backs out of the break room, as if when he turned his back Pam might spear him or something.

Dwight (uncomfortably as he closes the door): I have no idea what you're talking about.

Talking head Dwight: I have no idea what Pam was talking about. Maybe she has a yeast infection. I'll have to check WebMD to see if one of the symptoms is delusional ravings.
Pam stares at the teapot, her mouth agape, still stinging from Dwight's news. Jim walks into the break room.

Jim (oblivious, smiling): Hey Pam. How's the exciting world of reception? Is it free cell or suboku today?

Pam (clearly snippy): I actually have a lot of work to do.

At that moment, Kelly comes into the break room, sickeningly cheery and bubbly. Pam can't handle this and picks up her tea and heads for the door, but not before overhearing this exchange.

Kelly: Jim, last night was great. I haven't felt that kind of connection to someone since forever. You are so wonderful, I can't even tell you.

Pam has had enough. She slams the door as she walks out, startling both Jim and Kelly. The both look at each other and shrug their shoulders. But, Jim recovers from the strangeness to respond to Kelly.

Jim: You know, I just had a feeling you and my roommate would hit it off.

Kelly: He's great. And, (lowering her voice) thanks for the ride this morning. My friend Amy is picking me up after work to take me to get my car from the Chili's parking lot. Gosh, I feel like such a slut.

Jim uncomfortably brushes off the last remark and returns to his desk.

Talking head Kelly: Yeah, I thought about asking Jim out, but Jim fixed me up with his roommate who's a much better listener.
Jim wants to go over to Pam, but she keeps her head buried in work, not looking up at all. When she finally does look up, Jim puts out his hands and mouths the words "what's wrong?" She just shakes her head and silently mouths "nothing." Jim is really confused.

The end of the day nears. Michael leaves the office a half an hour early. That means most of the office sneaks out roughly at 4:35.

Kelly (walking past Jim): Hey, are you going to head out? My ride is here.

Jim: Uh, no. I have a few more purchase orders to finish up before I leave.

Kelly: Too bad. But, hey, you might see me tonight.

Jim smiles and nods as if to say, "I see."

Roy comes in a few minutes before five and asks if Pam is ready.

Pam: Actually, no. I have to stay late and get some work done.

Roy (surprised): Really?

Pam (snippy): Yes, really. Just go on without me.

Jim overhears and is startled. Pam only stays late working when Michael's here late. Jim guesses that Pam is having problems with Roy. He tries not to get a perverse satisfaction from this thought. It is hard, really hard for him not to be smug at this thought.

Jim (to Pam, after Roy leaves): What work are you doing?

Pam: Just work.

Jim (getting up and going to Pam's desk): Look Pam, you've been upset all day. Is it something Michael did or (tentatively) Roy?

Pam (curtly): No, Roy hasn't done anything wrong. He's a great guy and he loves me.

Jim (taken aback by this response): Ah, yeah, I know. But what's wrong?

Pam (her voice rising): Nothing. Everything is just great. I can go home to Roy, a man I love, and you can go home to Kelly.

Jim (confused): Wait, what? What about Kelly?

Pam (practically yelling): The whole office knows about it Jim!

Jim: Everybody knows that Kelly slept with my roommate?

Pam (ready to yell again, but stopped by the sudden reversal of her expectations): Wait? What? Your roommate?

Jim: Yeah, I set them up together last night.

Pam (realization, relief, and embarrassment washing over her face): Oh. I, uh, oh.

Pam begins to cry lightly and subtly but tries to hide it and wipe away the tears. Jim notices and is taken aback and looks confused.

Jim: Why . . . ah, um . . .

Jim tried to formulate a question here but is confused by the sheer volume of conflicting thoughts rushing through his head. So they stay there, silent and awkward for what seems like an interminable amount of time.

Still in an uncomfortable silence, Pam gets up and begins to gather her things to leave. When she comes out from behind the reception area and heads for the door, Jim grabs her hand.

Jim: Pam?

Pam (shaking her head): No, I just . . . I . . .

She trails off and runs out the door, leaving Jim standing there confused, not knowing what to do. He turns toward his desk and starts walking toward it when he hears the office door creak open and Pam walk in again.

He turns and begins to say something, but before any intelligible sound can escape him, Pam grabs his face between her hands and kisses him with the kind of passion that only years of sublimation, self-denial, and frustration can produce. He puts his arms around her and kisses back. They kiss furiously, both in relief and in agony.

The next morning in the office, Jim sits at his desk, with an inscrutable face, distracted. He keeps looking up toward the empty reception desk, waiting for Pam, yet also dreading the moment she would arrive.

She does arrive and goes through the motions of getting situated for the day—all without even the slightest glance in Jim's direction. For his part, Jim pretends to be busy and does not look at Pam either.

Minutes go by, slowly, ever so painfully slowly.

Finally, Jim gives in and looks up. She glances up and catches his eyes. The stare at each other, neither of knowing what the previous night's events meant. And yet they stare at each other, two characters acting out lines from a play the ending of which in not known to either them.

MORE TO COME . . .