Authors note: So, I've never written an M rated fanfiction, and I haven't written many fanfictions as it is, and I've taken down the ones that I did have written. I don't know if people will like this, but I'm a person who doesn't know what's going to be written until I'm in the middle of writing it, so I'm just going along with the story like everyone else. I don't have a schedule for writing, it will be updated depending on when I'm in school but I'm going to try it out anyways, since I've had ideas for some fanfictions but never got around to writing them. I'm giving a warning now, this is not beta'd. I don't know if it ever will be. There will be mistakes in the chapters and I am horrible for switch my tenses from past to present. So you've been prewarned. I only have the prologue and first chapter written, but for average chapters I'm gonna try for at least 3500 or probably more. We will see. I don't know how long it's going to be, or where the story is going. Your guess is as good as mine! Lol. Either way, I'm just testing this out to see how it goes.
Summary: What if? Hermione didn't go to Hogwarts at eleven, but struggled to deal with her magic alone in the muggle world where she was labeled a freak. A scared Draco stumbled into her life, they learn to depend on each other for the things they need; a safe-haven and knowledge. HG/DM. AU.
Disclaimer: I own nothing when it comes to Harry Potter since it all belongs to JK Rowling. I wish I owned it, because there would have been so many changes in it! But alas, I don't.
Prologue
Hermione walked through the forest.
It was one that she knew so well, behind her parents' home. She spend more time in the protection of the trees than she did in her own home. She was at home in the forest normally but today she was panicking.
Where was he?
He was supposed to come to the house right after he went and did whatever it was that he had to do when he was suddenly called away. This wasn't the first time, nor did she figure that it would be the last. She followed the worn path to their meeting place, where she had first stumbled upon him and she sat down on the slightly damp tree trunk to wait. She knew that it was going to be an issue when it was brought up between them, but she was worried.
More worried than she had been for anyone in her life.
He had slowly wormed his way into her life, with his rude ignorance and his innocent curiosity regarding everything about her. She knew that she cared about him, but in that moment she had realized just how much of her was reliant on him returning to their forest safe and sound. She loved him.
They had fought more than she had known anyone too; they were badly suited for each other. Him with his arrogance, pureblood customs and practically nonexistence conscious; while her and her lack of magically knowledge, eagerness to learn, bossy attitude and stubborn streak, they hardly found a middle ground on anything that they fought about and were too prideful to say sorry.
The relationship they had was built on his need to escape the world he belonged and her need for the knowledge of her powers. It was a relationship built on mutual gain when they finally began to trust one another, there were no feeling involved but…
She loved him.
Hermione hated herself for it. He was no good for her, she knew as much. When it came to the wizarding world, her ignorance made people like him very dangerous. But she had learned to trust him, to see parts of him that she was sure hardly anyone else had seen before. It didn't matter whether he reciprocated the feeling she had for him, she already knew the feeling of rejection from many years of being an outcast, but she knew that she couldn't let anything happen to him.
A loud crack echoed through the forest, an sign that Hermione knew that he was finally back from wherever he was. He would never tell her. She knew that it was something she would not approve of, but he was entitled to his secrets, just as she was entitled to hers. The fact that she loved him would be another secret that she would hold tightly without telling another soul.
She looked over at him, his platinum blond hair was messy and his fringe was hanging down on his forehead. It was usual that he was so unkempt looking, with his robes wrinkled and his shirt underneath untucked slightly out from his pants. He was panting slightly and brought his hand up to his hair, grabbing it and yanking it slightly in an irritated manner. He didn't know she was there yet. Hermione realized. It was strange for him not to constantly observe his surroundings.
Hermione felt her heart beat harder and her lungs get tighter, and could not understand how she didn't realize before now how strongly her feeling for the man standing in front of her had gotten. She scowled herself lightly, now was not the time to be acting like a love-struck foolish teenager. She needs to make sure he was alright and finally get some answers. Enough was enough.
"Draco?" She spoke softly, hoping that it wouldn't startle him. He was always jumpy after he got called away. He tensed slightly but otherwise didn't respond to her voice. She walked over carefully and placed her hands on his shoulders, trying to gently get his attention so that she could access his health. He spoke after a moment,
"I'm fine, Hermione. You know I just hate having to go back. I wish I didn't have too. It's fucking stupid. How could I have been so stupid? How could my father?!" His voice seemed to rise as his rant when on until he stopped and looked at her. He had a split lip that looked painful but otherwise looked fine.
"I can't do this anymore." He sounded so defeated that she did something that she had never done before. She threw her arms around his waist and held him tightly. She knew that he felt guilty for whatever he had done. As she had gotten to know him, she could see through the arrogance and had known that he was afraid. He needed her just as much as she needed him. He tensed again but slowly relaxed into her embrace, though he did not return the gesture. It was the first time that they had any real contact besides occasional hand holding when they were guiding the other person somewhere or the playful smacks on the shoulder Hermione would give him when he was rude or annoyed her.
"What happened? What can I do to help?" She knew that he would try to avoid the question, which was better than him ignore it all together like the irradiating git did sometimes.
"You know I can't tell you. I won't tell you." He spoke firmly but she let go of him and stepped back, looking him in the eyes.
"Draco Malfoy, you will tell me why you get called away and what happens when you do! This is ridiculous. It has been months of you coming and going; returning with injuries that you won't explain and look at the first time I met you! I was so sure you were going to die." She continued on her rant until he looked away from her, then she softened her voice. "I'm worried, Draco. I need to know you're okay. Even with you being an arsehole most of the time, every time you get called away, I worry about you like I've never worried about anyone."
Hermione held her breath and looked down at her shoes as she waited for him to respond. She didn't know what he would say to her at this point. She needed to know what was going on with him. The fact that she loved him was another issue, but there was the important factor that he was her only friend, and had grown to be her best friend in the time that she had known him.
"You're worried about me?" He sounded surprised, almost resentful of the fact, though she couldn't figure out why. He must have known already. She responded with a simple "Of course, Draco. Why would you think otherwise? After all this time you should have known."
"I had no idea. Hermione, it isn't good. You aren't going to like it and you'll hate me when I tell you. I don't want to tell you." He said, rubbing his face roughly with his palm.
"If you think it will affect me that much, I deserve to know. It would take a lot to make me hate you, you know I've never had anyone. Just tell me and get it over with."
"Okay," He muttered with a grimace, "I'll tell you everything, but promise to let me explain everything completely before you judge or ask questions."
"But-"
"Please? That's the only way I'll tell you. Promise me." He looked so defeated again, as if he would rather be anywhere but standing him front of her at this point. He watched as she studied him quietly before nodding slightly.
"Okay, I promise."