Title: Summer of Love
Rating: Will be NC-17
Category: M/M
Fandom: Naruto
Pairing: KakaIru
"I'm considering throwing you off the roof if you don't stop laughing."
Gai kept laughing. He possibly thought the other man was joking.
"But, Kakashi, it's a beautiful effort your dearest student is making to help you approach the summer of LOVE."
He scratched the back of his head ruefully, vaguely disturbed that he could hear Gai capitalizing that word. "I think it's more a matter of Naruto trying to get back at me."
"Impossible. It is simply the way of youth to be in love with love itself. Although – if the reason Naruto is failing in his grand endeavor is that he has misunderstood your preferences I'm certain that if I told him that his worthy sensei prefers the amorous overtures of men–"
Kakashi slammed a hand down over Gai's m"I'm considering throwing you off the roof if you don't stop laughing."
Gai kept laughing. He possibly thought the other man was joking.
"But, Kakashi, it's a beautiful effort your dearest student is making to help you approach the summer of LOVE."
He scratched the back of his head ruefully, vaguely disturbed that he could hear Gai capitalizing that word. "I think it's more a matter of Naruto trying to get back at me."
"Impossible. It is simply the way of youth to be in love with love itself. Although – if the reason Naruto is failing in his grand endeavor is that he has misunderstood your preferences I'm certain that if I told him that his worthy sensei prefers the amorous overtures of men–"
Kakashi slammed a hand down over Gai's mouth and glanced around to make certain no one had heard.
"Mph fih ephenal phival?"
Kakashi grinned, "Not really something I want reported to Naruto." It was bad enough the brat was trying to set him up with women, Kakashi shuddered at the thought of the men Naruto might decide to inflict on him.
Gai nodded sensibly once Kakashi released him. "I see. You continue to prove yourself worthy to be my rival, Kakashi. You are right, LOVE should be a thing of serendipity. That most precious person should be a breath of fresh air, a –"
Kakashi didn't stick around for Gai's The Truth About TRUE LOVE speech. He was still trying to recover from the last one.
"Kakashi-sensei, there you are!"
Kakashi glared resentfully at Pakkun who stood unapologetic next to Naruto. Traitor. Just because Kakashi had jokingly mentioned neutering that one time. Two times. Kakashi narrowed his eyes at the mutt who beat a prompt retreat, muttering that he'd just been out for a stroll.
"Ah, Naruto, I was just looking for you. I'll be needing to leave the village immediately. Classified. Can't talk about it. You understand."
Naruto grinned wolfishly – or foxishly in his case. "I thought you might try to pull something like that. I already asked the old man and he said you're mission-free."
"Oh, well. You see, this particular mission– " Kakashi started sweating very slightly. The brat never stopped smirking at him. "The Hokage would naturally tell you that because you see, it's need-to-know only."
There was a snort from below them. "That is the worst excuse I've ever heard."
Kakashi glanced at the street from the roof where he was perched and into warm brown eyes, shinning with amusement. Ah. Iruka-sensei. Might make for a good escape decoy. Kakashi leapt down and landed nimbly next to the chunnin.
"Well, but Iruka-sensei, you work with six-year-olds. I can't possibly match up to their deviancy."
"Iruka-sensei! How are you?"
Kakashi stared at the chunnin shamelessly, hoping Naruto would forget about him. He was very good at blending into the background when he wanted to. ANBU and all that. The chunnin greeted Naruto with obvious pleasure and listened to him patiently while Naruto proceeded to tell the Academy teacher all about the latest exploits of his training right there in the middle of the street. He skipped or glossed over all the parts where he was seriously injured or might have died, though from the way the chunnin winced Naruto wasn't fooling anyone.
Best time for a clean getaway except –
"Don't think I forgot about you, Kakashi-sensei."
Damn, the brat had gotten much better.
"Naruto, I really need to go see this dog about the mission. A dog. My dog. Not Pakkun. He didn't know anything about it." Iruka looked highly amused and Naruto was about to pounce so Kakashi did the only thing he could and pounced on the Academy teacher. A hostage might come in handy. "And I need your sensei's help, so we'll be going now!" In a flurry of leaves he was gone and he and Iruka were standing outside the Academy.
He saw the chunnin blink and the raise his eyes skyward with a pained expression. Kakashi reached his chakra out and did a cursory check of the other sensei. That had been close to his fastest speed and if by some whim of fate Kakashi happened to break Naruto's favorite person he was sure the blond would deal terrible violence to him. Like try and inflinct Anko on him again.
The chunnin bore up admirably well under the minor invasion of privacy though he clearly wasn't thrilled and were Kakashi not a jounin – therefore outranking him – he had a feeling he would have gotten more than a sharp glance of reproof.
"Honestly," Iruka muttered, "a jounin running scared of a teenage boy." He shook his head in mock disappointment.
"You say that as though you've never seen Naruto at his most determined." Kakashi drawled. "A Naruto with the single-minded purpose of trying to find me a date is terrifying even to a jounin."
Iruka grimaced. "True enough. I count myself lucky he hasn't tried the same thing with me. Then again," he glanced at Kakashi and grinned, "As a well-balanced, well-rounded individual, I can usually find my own company."
Kakashi let himself be mildly surprised at the teasing and straightened abruptly, stepping closer to Naruto's teacher. He leaned forward so their faces were only inches away and smiled his most guileless smile, pouting inwardly for a moment at the thought that the mask must ruin the full effect. It did make enough of an effect though that Iruka-sensei's smiling eyes grew a bit wary.
"Iruka-sensei," he breathed seductively, only just managing to keep from laughing as brown eyes widened and Iruka blushed. "Iruka-sensei, I would never dream of calling you round." He let his visible eye wander insolently down the chunnin's body and lazily tracked his way back up again, ignoring the teacher's full-body twitch. "You are perfectly proportioned," he declared huskily, smiling widely at Iruka's scandalized face.
"Kakashi-sensei," the chunnin began, warningly.
"Yes?" He fell back into his customary slouch, making it as impertinent as he knew how.
Iruka's lips tightened disapprovingly but that unexpectedly becoming flush didn't die away. Really, Naruto's previous teacher was rather … cute.
"Suddenly it's become clear why you need Naruto's help to find a date," the chunnin said snappishly. He didn't go so far as to lecture the jounin but the tone of I am a respected teacher and you will treat me as such came through loud and clear.
Kakashi winced an apology. "Dealing with Naruto and his insistence on getting me hitched is a bit unsettling."
He affected his most 'feel sorry for me I'm totally harmless and utterly contrite' pose, complete with mournful gaze and congratulated himself when the Academy teacher's scrutiny softened. Ah. The type to easily forgive minor offences. Well, he'd have to be or Naruto would never have made it out of the Academy.
"Since I'm not being wracked with the same torture, I guess I can't judge," Iruka allowed wryly.
Kakashi waved a hand dismissively. "Of course he hasn't tried to set you up, you're his precious Iruka-sensei, after all. He'd probably have a coronary if anyone so much as –"
And that was when Kakashi had a Really Good Idea.
"Iruka-sensei, as a sincere apology for kidnapping you with no provocation, please allow me to treat you to ramen."
Iruka looked somewhat mystified at being offered a free meal but Kakashi counted it as a victory that the chunnin didn't immediately laugh at his offer. Well, Academy teachers didn't go on missions as a general rule. They were needed full time at the Academy and, even when having to deal with prepubescent kids wielding sharp objects, teaching didn't pay all that well so a free meal wasn't something to be turned down. Especially when it came with no strings attached, which this didn't, but Iruka didn't need to know that yet.
"You would be doing me a great service to permit me the pleasure of your company," he said, perfectly gallant. He wasn't quite sure how Gai managed those lines without cracking but Kakashi supposed it had to do with Gai's absolute sincerity.
Iruka didn't go so far as to glare at him but his eyes narrowed in suspicion. The man may not be jounin but he did deal with thirty or so hellions on a regular basis so it's natural he'd have a nose for trouble. Kakashi just smiled wider.
"Good afternoon, Iruka-sensei."
Iruka looked up, startled and glanced at the other two chunnin at the mission desk who had received no such greeting. It looked like they were trying very hard not to notice the jounin.
"Hello, Kakashi-san," he greeted patiently.
"I'm told it's a particularly beautiful day today."
Iruka pasted on a pleasant expression while he gathered his chakra tightly wondering if there was some sort of threat. Kakashi looked highly delighted.
"According to Green Spandex that means picnics are absolutely necessary."
"They are?" Iruka belatedly noticed the basket. Nothing so innocuous ever looked more dangerous.
Kakashi's visible eye curved in pleasure. "Absolutely. I brought mochi for dessert," he tempted.
Iruka had the distinct feeling he was missing something because there was absolutely no way that Kakashi was actually-
"Are you asking me to go on a picnic with you?" he finally blurted.
"Yes, sensei."
The other two chunnin were desperately reviewing mission reports. Iruka wanted to glare at them, then thought better of it and glared at Kakashi. This would be all over the rumor mill now whether he went with the man or not. Hopefully it would die out soon, he thought resignedly, after all, it was a widely accepted fact that jounin were batshit crazy. You had to make allowances for that.
"Green tea mochi?"
"Well, no, chocolate. It's so very . . . sweet," he purred, leaning close to Iruka. Izumo chocked on air.
"Kakashi-san, if you wish me to accompany you please show up here promptly at five. That's when I finish my duties."
"That's in an hour."
"Yes, Kakashi-san."
"You can't take off, say, an hour early?"
"Kakashi-san, if that is inconvenient for you, Kotetsu-san here gets off in five minutes."
Iruka could feel the horror rolling off the other chunnin.
Kakashi smiled cheerily. "I'll be back in an hour." And then he was gone.
Iruka laughed, pleasantly surprised to find that he was actually enjoying himself. He had his suspicions as to why Kakashi was doing this but it was harmless really, and he was truly relishing the chance to hear about Naruto from the other sensei.
"Well, it's funny now, but Yamato couldn't go near toads for a month and he'd go green when he saw Naruto."
Iruka chuckled. That definitely sounded like Naruto. Iruka took another sip of sake but even so he couldn't keep from asking, "And, Yamato-san …?"
Kakashi looked pensive for a moment. "Well, Iruka-sensei, I do like that you speak your mind but even so I'm not at liberty to discuss Yamato."
Iruka nodded, chastised. Of course he shouldn't have asked but where Naruto was concerned he'd never been any good at keeping his place.
"But you know," Kakashi went on casually, "it's pretty much impossible not to like Naruto. I may have actively tried when he started calling me a pervert."
Iruka smiled his gratitude. Kakashi might have ulterior motives but Iruka was suddenly very glad that the copy-nin had invited him on this silly picnic.
"More sake?"
"Don't mind if I do, Iruka-sensei."
"Your boyfriend still on a mission?"
Iruka stiffened and wished Kotetsu was at the mission desk so he could throttle him. "I'm sorry, Anko-san?"
"Oh come on, Iruka. Everyone and Kakashi's dogs know about you two."
Iruka tried to imagine what Kakashi's dogs might think of that before turning to face the jounin. Honestly, his life was complicated enough at the moment without getting mixed up with high-ranking shinobi.
"Kakashi-san," Anko raised an eyebrow at that but Iruka gainfully plowed on, "Kakashi-san is not –"
"Yo."
Iruka dearly wished Kakashi had better timing.
"Yo, Kakashi. Are you neglecting, Iruka?"
Kakashi leaned back against the doorframe, hands in his pockets. "I wouldn't dream of it."
"Well, it's time for your lover boy to get out of here, why don't you take him somewhere and show him how much you've been thinking about him, huh?" Anko leered at Kakashi in a way that made Iruka's stomach roll distressingly.
"Shall we, Iruka-sensei?" Kakashi grinned at him, entirely too unfazed.
When Anko turned to face him expectantly Iruka felt it was safer to beat a retreat and he picked up his files to drop them in the "Completed" bin before making his way to the door.
"Boyfriend, huh?" Kakashi whispered as Iruka reached the copy-nin.
Iruka wanted to die of embarrassment but as that was clearly not going to happen he settled for digging an elbow into the jounin's side. He was disgusted when Kakashi only chuckled.
"I'll take you anyway."
Iruka snorted sake and chocked a full minute before dissolving into helpless laughter. Kakashi grinned good-humoredly though he was still flushed a rather alarming shade of red.
"I can't believe you've never read these," he complained ruefully, closing the 1st Icha Icha book that he'd been reading from. It was a personal favorite of his.
"I spend my days teaching, grading, at the mission desk or reading mission reports and on my good days I play a game of shougi with the Hokage. Reading dubious literature really doesn't even make the list of the top one hundred things I would do if I had an hour to spare."
"Top one hundred?" Kakashi grinned.
"Of course," Iruka laughed, "Every teacher at the Academy fantasies about what they would do if they had free time."
"And what do you fantasize about, sensei?" Kakashi asked with a friendly leer.
Iruka smiled and decided to answer honestly. "A full-body massage," he started, ticking them off on his fingers, ignoring the way the jounin perked up. "A nap, and – well I would need more than an hour – a visit to the grain village. They have the most delicious confections. I'd also," he scratched the scar on his nose self-consciously, "treat Naruto to a proper lunch. Those are the ones I kind of remember offhand."
"Mmmhmm, and number one?" Kakashi asked silkily.
Iruka could feel the heat building in his face until he was sure from the neck up he was solid red.
"Oh my, sensei. I do think I want to hear number one."
Author's Notes: Okay, so I've made some minor revisions to the story as a whole. Just a few things that were bugging me but the story is exactly the same. Just some wording and such. Also, I am still working on the Epilogue (ducks flying objects). Sorry it's been so long! I kept revisiting it but nothing! Whelp, I finally got something. yay! although i wanna fine-tune it before i post it