AUTHOR'S NOTE:

(Loomed - ORIGINAL DOCTOR)
First he was okay, really. He just had a low tolerance for BS and people who were being deliberately stupid.

(1st regen)
Second was okay and he'd have made someone a NEAT weird uncle...

(2nd regen)
Third was alright, if a bit of a poof.

(3rd regen)
Four is my Typist's favorite cuz he was in that body when she found him.

(4th regen)
Five was pretty, really pretty.

(5th regen)
Didn't like Six, aside from being a walking embarrassment he was more than just a little bit of a bunghole..

(6th regen)
Didn't like Seven, manipulative little...anyway.

(7th regen)
Eight was beautiful, inside and out, Second Favorite.

(8th regen)
War Doctor (Real 9) Has no English accent. Matter of fact, since I can't hear an accent at all, I think that one is American...which means that potion 8th took prior to regenerating did it's job, Americans are good in a fight and we'll do what needs doing. I liked that body. I seriously did adore John Hurt's Doctor...

(9th regen)
Chris' Doctor (REAL 10) In shock for a good portion of his tenure, part of which was probably because he couldn't remember where he'd heard Rose Tyler's name before or why she was precious...and likely figured it out right as he kissed BW...which would account for the odd glances he gave Rose.

Here is where the unorthodox Regeneration took place. This is the First Problem, together with the War Doctor, it adds two bodies and two Regenerations to your previous count. Only, you knew about this one and still failed to add it...what is wrong with you people? If it uses a Regeneration, it COUNTS. It doesn't matter that only a part human Doctor was created, the energy was still used.

(10th regen)
David's Doctor. (REAL 11th)
Bi-Polar, PTSD, ADD, ADHD, Got a lot of denial going on an should be on medication. Sorry, not on favorites list due to being more that just a little unstable and somewhat irresponsible. The Ood told him his song was ending...they didn't mean the Tenth's Song, they meant the DOCTOR'S SONG, was ending. This should have been the last body in the main universe since the metacrisis already existed when this body ended it's Time, even though he was elsewhere. Still counts.

(11th regen)
David's Biological Metacrisis (The 'hand' was used to store the energy from a regeneration, which was later used to FORM Ten2, technically, this makes him the REAL 12th) There is a possibility he will regenerate in the other universe, though, given that we now know our's has had his entire lifecycle reset and restarted.

(12th regen)

Matt's Doctor (REAL 13th) This body should have never formed. THIS is the reset, for all intents and purposes, he was extra. Given that, the Doctor should have died here, for real. Only Clara's plea to Time changed this...the Doctor himself said he'd been 'reset'. You people just missed it entirely. You completely mistook what he meant. He was so much more stable, because he wasn't the last of a cycle, he was FIRST of a NEW cycle.

(13th regen, 14th BODY) And so, he will continue...although, now, with the myriad ways he's cheating, there is growing evidence that because of the fact that the series makes very good money for the BBC and apparently they have decided to continue...the Doctor is still stuck with us...and this is good. It will give me new and varied ways and excuses to mess with my Typist's head...

Peter's Doctor is already TWO regenerations past the cutoff life here, so, he begun a new round of 12 bodies and this is actual Second, not First. Sneaky old bastard, no wonder Matt played his regeneration the way he did. Soft, loving eyes, and a very gentle smile full of patience for people who just weren't getting it.

Like it or not, it's canon now, get used to it, get over it and carry on.

SUMMARY: Just when the Doctor thinks he's seen and done everything, life proves he hasn't quite managed it just yet. The Twelfth Doctor manages to find the oddest human companion he's had yet...and she's not young or even fully mobile...and at first she's quite vocal about the fact that she doesn't quite believe he's who appears to be.

RUDE AND NOT ENGLISH

He'd never known the United States to be so quiet or devoid of humanity. The world population was down quite a bit, but not like this where huge tracts of land were mostly clear of people. He was worried because there was no sign of any kind of outside forces being responsible and that probably meant a pandemic of some kind. His TARDIS had finally located a single, isolated human being in an area of a state called Missouri that had once been a small, but active little town just off exit 88 along interstate 44, Strafford, it was called, according to the road signs.

Someone had certainly put soil filled large urns on every other paved former road surface, most filled with vegetables. Most of the parking lots were filled with deep freeze units, some chests and some uprights...these had cooked meals in some and others had frozen meat, which he discovered by opening a few. He heard, from a distance, what sounded like some kind of electric car and he waited, watching as someone drove a yard truck with a large water tank loaded on it. The tank was clear though the water inside had clearly had some kind of chemical added to it since the water was blue. A short hose with a longish nozzle was being used to deposit water in sufficient amounts in each pot along a long row.

She was middle aged, from the slight graying of her darkish hair, and though she looked over her glasses first at him and then at the TARDIS, eyes narrowed, she continued what she was doing. He saw her glance at him from time to time, and realized when she finally decided to just get on with her chore and ignore him. That was a first. Most people would have at least greeted him.

He walked over to her with his hands in his pockets. "What's in the water?"

"Keep a list of what you're asking. Just in case you ever convince me you're real. I still haven't decided why I'm hallucinating." She muttered. "Matter of time, see, before I started seeing things, isolation can do that to people, or so I heard...and people...that don't exist. Figures you'd be the first one to show up...cuz I already know you're not real. The only question is why one of Doctor Who's currently employed actors...and the next one instead of the current one...would show up here of all places and under these conditions, no less...with his main prop, at that...and that just proves you're a figment of my imagination. Cuz none of that makes any sense at all." She muttered, "But I ain't too hot and I ain't et nothin' weird and there ain't been nobody around to catch nothin' from." She kept at her chore until the tank ran dry and turned her little cart to leave without a word.

He stepped up on the running board and simply stared at her. For her part, she ignored him as she drove the yard truck back to where she had the Miracle-Gro and the main water hoses to load the tanks with.

While she worked at mixing the plant food with the water and getting it completely dissolved, the Doctor read one of the empty boxes she'd thrown in the garbage. Question number one was solved, at least. High grade water soluble plant-food, applied once a week throughout the growing season.

She had managed to successfully put him out of her mind, partly because once she was off the truck, she tottered around with a cane in one hand, working slowly but steadily, getting around on what was increasingly obvious as a very painful left hip. Painful enough to make her mind what she was doing and unstable enough that she couldn't afford the distraction.

He didn't have to be the Time Lord he was to predict what happened next, but it sure made timing it a lot easier. He just stayed close enough to catch her before she hit the ground, when that hip gave, but far enough away to not get in her way. She was a bit ill-tempered.

He eased her back into the seat of the yard truck and made sure her hip wasn't jammed. Now she was watching him, her eyes just a little bit wild.

"You're not actually hallucinating me." He finally said, quietly.

"Apparently not, Doctor." She answered, smiling at his startled reaction, given that he'd not yet introduced himself. "Or if I am, you'd be the solidest bit of mist and smoke I've seen in a while." He grinned at that comment. "Mind, it still doesn't make any sense, cuz I can show you a website that...well, I'll just show you the series on Netflix, then you can explain it to me. Hop on, then and I'll show you where I've been livin' so you can move your TARDIS to my yard."

Now he was the one going a little wild-eyed, for she knew exactly who he was and he'd never met her before. Ever. Made him curious as hell about the website she'd mentioned, though he wasn't too pleased with the laughter in her eyes.

Once in her house, or at least, from what she'd said, the house she'd moved into once she'd proven to be one of the exceedingly rare few people who recovered from the illness that had killed millions of Americans, she had grabbed hold of a seated walker so she could start dinner. She was immune to it now, she rather thought. He had run some tests to check that idea out and found her to be correct.

They had a quiet dinner, then she left him watching his own history on a website full of all sorts of television programs and movies. It was quite clearly intended to be a product of fiction, though how the hell they'd found human men that looked that much like each of his bodies he had no idea. He completely understood and agreed with her initial reaction to him though, after seeing this. He finally closed the window and went to look for his hostess.

"I completely understand your reaction now. But that show is a show...it's not me. Not really. It is, but it's not."

"I can't decide if it's your luck or mine in play here." She answered. "Been praying for company, someone both capable and competent...guess I should've been more specific."

"Specified species, maybe?"

"No, you'll do me just fine, darlin'. Just don't ask me to be sorry it's you that got elected to be the answer to my prayers." She smiled at him, a grin so full of mischief he was pretty sure she was about to say something he wasn't sure he was going to like. "You've been one of my favorite imaginary friends for years. Or rather...your 8th, 9th and 10th bodies were...with a side helping of 4th for spice and enjoyment." She smiled at his groan. "Though, I must say, I never imagined you as being available on some sort of universal mail order...thing. If I had known that wishing worked, trust me, I'd've had your pretty tail here a lot sooner."

"Pretty tail?" His hands actually floated back to cover his bum and he flushed.

She burst into laughter. "Apparently that's one of the things that doesn't change from one body to the next...your hind-end counts as serious eye-candy no matter how you wear it. Why do you think Rose almost always trailed behind you just that half step or so? Trust me, she was letting you guide her steps cuz her eyes were elsewhere."

"Oi" His face was a serious shade of red now and she just patted his hand and tutted.

"No, seriously. Used to write a lot of fan fiction, back in the day. Before that damned flu variant decided to mutate into something like a viral strain of pneumonia. You made a wonderful set of muses."

"Rude!"

"Yeah, I've been known to be...but I have faith in your ability to suck it up and adjust." She was using a series of ropes to haul herself into bed, now. "Hope you're still around when I wake up but if not it'll have been one of my better dreams."

TBC