Disclaimer: I own nothing. Sad, isn't it.
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Instant Messanger. Febuary 24th, 2006.
Me: I don't like you and her together.
Him: I know.
Him: But, I'll always be there for you to talk to.
Me: To talk to, yeah.
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February 25th, 2006. 1:07 a.m.
I should have been more grateful with him. I should have saw this coming, him walking away from me. Maybe it takes something like this to understand that all along, I was just playing hard to get. Acting like I could get whatever I wanted, but in the end, I'm the one getting hurt. I should have known he would get tired of playing games with me and would move on to better things without me. Two years we made it, and we thought we'd go on forever, that nothing could stop us from being together, distance was never a problem. Him moving on makes me realize that I'm not ready for that, in fact, I don't think I ever want to move on without him. Him & I should be together, but apparently, I messed that up, and I messed that up big time. It's not his fault at all that him and I aren't together any longer. It's my fault for thinking he'd always be there. Thinking that he would come back to me after all, because he couldn't live without me. But, this time I don't think he is kidding about moving on. This time it's for good. And I'm stuck here, living with the regrets.
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July 2003
Walking around with my cousin, we stopped in a cafe shop so I could finally meet her boyfriend, and his friend. Her and I got there early and had orded two lattes, and quickly found a seat. It hadn't been a mere three minutes until she got up and smiled.
"Hey Baby." She said to a man no more than six inches taller than me. I was quick to notice his friend behind me. Who was in fact quite a sight. He was tall, brown hair, with a soccer bag slung over his shoulder.
The two men went up to order, and my cousin and I sat back down and she looked over at me.
"What do you think?" She tilted her head as she asked.
I took a sip of my drink and smiled at her.
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That was a full summer ago.
January 2004.
My cousin and her boyfriend had broke it off in September, and became more 'friends' than anything. After that, I got around to finding his email, and we started talking. At first, he wouldn't shut up, he would say hi to me everytime I would sign on to instant messanger. Rarely would I say hi back.
January 15th, I got fed up and started IMing him back. We got into a conversation, and things started from there. He even asked me to marry him when I saw him next. Of coarse, at first we joked around. Saying we loved each other with a little laugh. This friendship of ours took off for higher limits when he first told me that he liked me.
I wouldn't shut up to my best friend, Emilia. Oh, he said this, and he said that, and hes so great. My cousin & I went to the movies to see him. He was her best friend, and I came to see him. We went into the movie theater and sat down. I couldn't watch the movie, I didn't want to. I just wanted to stare at him the whole time, wondering, what life was going to be like for the next month I would be up there visiting family.
A week after the movies, he told my cousin that he had fallen for me. I was estatic. My summer was going along great, nothing could stop this. My cousin had invited him to the apartment for a sleep over. We watched a bunch of scary movies to scare the living day lights out of me.
Finally, we started dating at the end of July. Apart three-hundred miles away.
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I saw him again in April, and we shared our first kiss. The time line begins. May 28th, four days after my birthday, I saw him again. He had bought me a cake and jewelry. I knew for sure I had fallen in love with this guy. And there was no doubt that anythin was going to stop me from loving him in the future. I started taking creative writing classes the summer of 2005. Our relationship was starting to go on the rocks when I met a new guy in my class. After a long summer, we broke up, went back out, broke up, went back out.
The last I saw him was August. We had gone out to the movies, and were driving back to my cousins house. We got there, and the last thing I did before I left him was kiss him. From then, things were great with us, almost. We broke up in September, for reasons unknown.
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Until, January 2006. When I started to act like I didn't care for him.We kept talking on a daily bases. Until he mentioned that he was sick of playing my games. I was running after other guys, and he was stuck liking me, because I got mad when he liked other girls, besides me. Little did I know, this would all come crashing down to earth sooner or later.
This month rolled around, and he said he was sick of falling for me if I would never return the favor to him. So, we stopped talking for a week, so he could get his head in order. He eventually did. And is now not thinking of me anymore. He's with a new girl, better than me.
I talked to him this mourning. Told him how I felt, that it was all my fault. He seemed to care for about a millisecond, but then had to go.
I rolled over in my bed and cried.
"I love you, Draco. I'm sorry" Was the last thing I said before I cried myself into a long sleep.