Author's Note – "But Hand," I hear you say, "what about your other stories?" Well, I've been messing with videos and training my puppy to not tear a hole in my bedsheets, but I have not giving up on them...well, maybe one, but that's a big maybe.

(Video's called 'Merlin – Chaos' if you want to see what I've been doing, and want to bug me by going: "Go back to writing, damn it! Finish your ****ing stories!". And the puppy's name is Diana, or as I've been calling her: "Little S**t!")

Warnings – There will be cursing, gore, mentions of rape, things with religion that might make many uncomfortable (Just remember that this is a work of fiction and you'll be fine...hopefully); Canon parings (though feel free to see what you want, I won't judge...though if it's about a sheep and a lonely farmer, please don't share with the class); Season 5 AU; Mordred/OC

(Stop your hissing, it's not going to take up the whole story, and it certainly isn't a self insertion. [I still see him as the little adorable Druid boy that I want to squeeze to death {Both actors are too damn adorable for their own good} ] Trust me, I wouldn't have it in here but I looked at the big picture and went "Hmm, this is centering on...Ooh!)

Also Dark Merlin. (I'm curious, do Dark or Evil has a name? Like would Dark Merlin be Darlin? Merk? Darkwing Duck?)

Disclaimer – Pretty obvious that I don't own Merlin. If I did, I would have had Gwen kill Morgana ("How?" I hear you ask, "Emrys is her doom." Well, doom can mean a lot of things. I'll let your own imagination figure it out). Any names you don't recognize will be mine, and they will be used sparingly...for the most part.

Also unbetaed, as always. All mistakes are belonged to me.

* ~ " 'To your grave I spoke. Holding a red, red rose. Gust of freezing cold air, whispers to me, that you are gone.' " – Broken Iris: A New Hope ~ *

He placed his newly forged sword at the entrance of the cave along with his staff, then turned to the white dragon, "Stay."

His former child laid on her belly, looking at him with wet eyes. He turned from her and went into the cave.

"Emrys," the left Disir greeted as he walked up.

"The other half to the Once and Future king," the right Disir said.

"Why are you here?" the middle one asked.

Merlin went on his knees and placed his hands together, "please. I need – " Merlin swallowed through the knot. "The isle of the Blessed is hidden from me – "

"For a reason, Emrys. Your life is still needed."

"Then I'll offer other lives, I'll offer a kingdom of lives."

"Lives that are not yours to offer," the middle one said.

"I will make them mine."

"Your powers are needed at Avalon."

"To help the new Queen restore this land to what it's meant to be."

Merlin felt his stomach twist, "you wish for me to help...they took my friends' lives and put their heads on spikes! They tortured my mother before doing the same to her, and Arthur – you wish for me to help them?!"

"You must put aside these feelings of vengeance, Emrys," the left one said, "and help to bring our people back to their former glory."

Merlin blinked his shaking eyes, "...if I help, would you bring him back?"

"No."

"The Once and Future king's reign has ended."

"It's time for the Queen..."

Their words became muffled as he felt himself stand. His feet took him to the mouth of the cave, where his former child opened her eyes to look at him. He stared at her, blinking his wavering eyes slowly.

"I told you they wouldn't bring him back."

He tensed at Queen Mab's voice, refusing to look at her. "Go back to your Realm."

"But your despair is part of my home. Would you be so cruel as to deny me my place in this world?"

"I will show you cruel if you do not leave me."

"Oh little one, the Witch's binds have burrowed deep into your mind, hasn't it?" Merlin brought a hand to his throat at her words, feeling the rough, ash skin. "Between that, hearing all of your loved ones being executed, and losing one of your soul's mate, you are becoming quite mad."

Merlin breathed in the cold air as Aithusa moved her head and closed her eyes. "It won't be long before you shatter, Emrys. But will you grow into a shallow husk, like a dead tree, or will you be like iron, hard and brittle, breaking before you bend?"

"I'm fine," he said. He turned to the smiling fae, "I won't shatter, and there is nothing wrong with my mind."

"Oh but there is, little one. The gigantic hole in your heart is evidence to that."

Merlin moved his hand away from his neck and grabbed his weapons, "goodbye, Queen Mab."

He went to Aithusa. "And here I thought you would have done something more drastic."

He paused, then turned to her. "I'm not an idiot."

"No, but you are cracked, like a thin ice pond."

"This again," he mumbled as he swung his leg over Aithusa's neck. "Either tell me something important or be silent."

"He won't return, Emrys." Merlin snapped his head to her. "No matter what you do, he won't come back."

He got off of Aithusa and stalked to her, "what do you know?"

"Your soul's mate is needed elsewhere, in a different time."

"And why can't he come back now?"

"The Triple Goddess is still angry with him. She will keep him hidden from you until he is needed."

Merlin closed his eyes, "when? When will he come back?"

"...When the sun rises in the West, and sets in the East..." Merlin opened his eyes and stared down at her. "When the seas of the world run dry, and the mountains blow in the wind, like leaves in the fall...Then he will return, Emrys, but not before."

Merlin turned from her as his vision shook. He took a deep breath, his lungs burning from the cold air. He took his makeshift waterskin and drunk a large portion from it. Then he put it back on his hip and went to the mouth of the cave. He turned to Aithusa, "come on."

His former child looked at the cave and started to back away.

"Come!"

Aithusa flinched before quickly following him into the cave.

"What do you want, Dragon Lord?" the middle Disir asked.

"I want Arthur back." He motioned to Aithusa, "I'm offering the soul of the last dragon in the world, and my own magic. Surly it is enough for Arthur."

"The quality of the life will not change our judgment, Emrys."

Merlin leaned on his staff, feeling the world tilt around him as he closed his eyes. He waited a moment as his head swam, "please, I can't...I didn't have a chance to tell him...I couldn't even give him a proper goodbye."

"The Triple Goddess has spoken."

"Arthur Pendragon will stay dead."

He blinked his blurred eyes and watched the water hit the ground, breathing hard through the lump. He took another breath as he moved a hand from the staff. "So be it."

He made a fist and slashed the air, using his magic to break their staffs. Then he thrust his own at them, binding them to the cave wall. He felt magic being used on him but he swirled the staff above his head, throwing off the weakened spells.

"You wish to start a war, Goddess?" he spoke, "you wish to side with the woman who has roamed this land like a plaque? You wish to be petty? Fine. Then I will make sure your precious lands is burned to cinder and any worshipers you have will suffer in my flames."

"You dare!"

"The Triple Goddess was the one that gave you life."

"She gave you power!"

"And I will use both to find her and rip the heart out of her chest!"

A powerful surge pushed down on him. He gritted his teeth and dug the butt of his staff in the ground, pushing at the force with his own. With a yell, he pushed it back.

He looked down at Aithusa, fury rising in his chest. "Burn them."

* ~ " 'So we're bound to linger on...We drink that fatal drop...and love until we bleed...then fall apart in parts.' " – Kleerup: Until We Bleed ~ *

(Hmm...don't know why God of War popped into my head at the end, there.) Subtle hint to my first story in this. As subtle as a train wreak...on a boat (bet no one gets that quote without looking it up).

Fun Fact #1 – Every once in a while I write Arthur's Note by accident, just thought you should know.

Fun Fact #2 – Made this in less than 24 hours. Does it show? (Yes!)

Info – The title is a quote from John Dryden. I wished I came up with it first.

Inspiration – 'Kingslayer' by MoonCalledA. (I just need to make a crossover, already)

When the next one will show up? – Not sure. I'll have to go to sleep first (says so much, don't it?). A week and a half or three, sometime between then...It'll be in Mordred's pov (First time writing his pov. Wish me luck?).