A/N This was originally meant to have the song Ashes and Wine by A Fine Frenzy but due to copyright it can't. So at the part of the story where it was supposed to go I have just written the song title. Even if you already know the song go look up the lyrics at that point. It is much more powerful that way.
I had envisioned this over and over again. Preparing what I would say. Running through my speech in my head. How it would feel when she said yes. And now here I stood at the door. Now that it was about to happen I found myself hesitating. It was now or never, I knocked. The moments waiting for her to open the door felt like an eternity. But then the door swung inward, revealing the person inside.
Katniss stood in the doorway, a shocked expression on her face when she realized it was me. "What? Why?" she stammered, obviously rushing to put her thoughts together. "We need to talk," I stated, well aware that it was not the ideal greeting after such a long time apart. Her face was indecisive but after a minute she gestured me inside. "I'd rather we do it outside," I said. I was uncomfortable being inside her house. It felt too much like accepting that her new life out ruled anything of the past. "Aren't you nervous that the neighbors will overhear?" she joked, referring to the fact that almost no one lived in District 12 anymore. I shrugged. She shut the door behind her and we found a place in the grass to sit.
At first we were both silent but then tried to speak at the same time. "Why are you," she started to ask. "Listen, I," I began. We laughed awkwardly and she motioned for me to speak. "I probably should have given you some warning. Called you to tell you I was coming or something. But I just had to see you."
She nervously twirled a piece of grass between her hands. "Well I guess it's a good thing I was home today. What did you want to say?"
"This is going to be hard for me so just hear me out." She nodded and I continued. "At the end of the war we weren't in a good place. You're with Peeta and I left for District 2. But I didn't stop thinking about you." Katniss's eyes were confused. "I assumed you had found someone else. Someone besides me. A….replacement." "I could never replace you Katniss." She looked down at her lap, not meeting my eyes. "But I came back to talk to you because I have to know if there's a future for us."
Ashes and Wine
We were sitting cross-legged, knees touching, our faces inches apart. I finished pouring out my heart, asking her to take me back. Asking her to give us a fresh start. I tried to read her face to see what she was thinking. All of a sudden her entire face lit up like the sun breaking through dark clouds. My heart leapt. She still loved me! But something was off. I realized she wasn't staring at my face but something over my shoulder. Slowly I turned around, dreading what I would see.
Peeta was striding towards us with a confident, easy gait. He was carrying a bag in his hands and even from here I could smell the aroma of fresh bread. His eyes were confused and slightly alarmed at the sight if me, especially at how close I was sitting to Katniss. "Gale?" he asked, ever polite and courteous. "Well it's been a long time," he said. I wanted to hate him. He could have Katniss when I couldn't. But something about him made it so hard to. Katniss and I stood up, brushing the grass off ourselves. She walked over to him like her feet couldn't carry her fast enough. For a moment they both stared into each other's eyes, the outside world meaning nothing to them. I looked at my feet, suppressing a scream and holding back tears. I had the answer I came here to find.
Peeta was the first to break the trance. "Well since you're here would you like to have lunch with us?" Why didn't he despise me? I had come here planning to steal the person who gave his life meaning. Yet he was so kind. "I…..I have to go," I stammered. I looked into Katniss's eyes one last time and turned to walk away before they could see the tears spilling down my face.
Why was I leaving? I should have stayed and fought for her. But I had seen the way she looked at him. I wanted to be with Katniss more than I wanted to breathe. But when you love someone, when you really love them, what you want more than anything is for them to be happy. And she was, without me.