Disclaimer: I hold no rights to the story, I earn no money with it and I honestly expect no one to even believe I would. So please just have fun reading.
About the story: I really don't know how far I'm going with this, its just a spooky idea. I guess we will find out.
Notes: Kagome returns to the past and tries to change the events of the story. It will take some chapters for her to return to the feudal era, so please have some patience. Also, I want to inform you that while some major plot points will reappear in the story, there also will be many changes. The reason for the changes are Kagome's somewhat successful attempts to get straight through the wall with her head. There are also more layers of manipulation to the story and soon our beloved Miko will find herself headfirst into a greater struggle than she had guessed. Will she be able to hold herself against the new odds? -Or would it have been better if she had never attempted to mingle with time? We shall find out - I'm as curious about it as you ;-).
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TurningPoint
Sometimes, odd things tend to happen and probably at the worst times in your life. At least Kagome would have thought something like this, if there had been any time to really think. Not that there was or would be anytime soon… Truth, be told, since that fateful day, when she fell down the bone eater well, there had never been any time for her to think. And by god, right now she realized what a bad thing that had been.
Her entire body felt unwell, she was sick of feeling helpless and being a fool. She was sick of her weak constitution. At the moment she was beaten and weak …again…, only her holy powers helped her to survive the dangerous environment. All of her focus was set on how to save her friends, to protect those precious to her. Her mind was reeling, desperately searching for a way out of their current predicament. Again everything around her was dead set on swallowing up her attention preventing her to realize the truth.
If she had only taken the time to truly think about all those things happening to her friends, to her and their environment, maybe it would have never come so far.
She gritted her teeth.
All the clues had been right in front of her and she had been too blind to see them. She had felt unwell before, realizing on an unconscious level that there had to be more to it… All the unfitting parts, the clues given to her, throughout the journey, had hinted at a bigger picture and now she realized how blind she had been…
How many lives could have been saved?
Kohaku, the demon slayer clan, Shippo's father, uncounted people of unnamed villages…
It was her fault. Those deaths had been unnecessary and she could have prevented many of them. Mostly, but undeniably she had to finally face the truth. There was no more use in running from the responsibility. She may not have been at fault for the game set up for them but for blindly playing along the rules. All the things she could have done should have done to further their cause, yet she never did!
Not just the part that she wasn't trained as Miko… she had been ignorant and stupid (downright careless) in her decisions and her friends had to pay the price for it. Her recklessness had pulled them downwards into this hell with her.
The part of being untrained was also alone her fault… she couldn't deny the truth any longer. How many years had her grandfather tried to hammer some traditions into her? How often had he tried to teach her some skills and she hadn't been able to care less about it all even if she had tried even harder to ignore him.
Every single time she had turned him down.
She had never paid him any thought or even respect for leading their temple, for preserving old and valuable knowledge… Even if he was a fraud, some theories, spells and some of the history lessons could have been useful. Hell, with them sliding along the border of the abyss every single time, any kind of knowledge could have been useful to save their asses more than once!
Yet, she had blocked out everything her grandfather had to say. She hadn't listened to him, too grossed out by all the bones and weird creature stuff he waved in front of her face since she was little.
Now she was here at the end of all things staring into those deep red eyes.
It suddenly made her realize all those wasted opportunities and the unused potential. It was such a sad conclusion. For a moment her anger faded somewhat and some silence entered her thoughts. She focused on their opponent with those mesmerizing eyes again. Eyes, that had puzzled her and still did, since the entire encounter. Those eyes staring back at her and after more moments she realized that they were not what they were supposed to be. It unsettled her deeply.
Those eyes which were ignoring all of the others, those which were just looking at her, missing something and mirroring something in exchange, which they had never done so before, those eyes made her finally realize.
Kagome Higurashi, Miko and guardian of the Shikon no Tama jewel, was currently inside a giant ball like spider, floating through the sky. It was a slick place full of tendrils and deadly miasma.
For a moment she focused on her friends and allies, fighting against their arch nemesis: Naraku.
Inuyasha used his powerful blade Tetsaiga and released one attack after another against the evil Youkai. She could see the cutting and whirling energy hack away tendrils after tendrils and even damaging Naraku's central web and yet the evil Hanyo seemed completely unimpressed with Inuyasha's efforts.
The attacks of her friend didn't seem to have much effect at all and the dark Hanyo simply ignored them. Yet Inuyasha didn't stop, while he couldn't do any real damage, he was still able to shield their human friends from the deadly miasma of the spider. The dark and potent poison would be the death of them otherwise. It still spread throughout the entire "cave", giving Miroku and Sango a hard time but thus far they still lived.
The monk as well as the demon slayer had been brought to the brink of breaking. Not only physically from the constant poisoning but also emotionally. Those were the hardest injuries and Kagome worried for them because with not only the threat of losing their loved one and losing their last remaining family, the constant taunting would soon cause them to give up hope.
They were brought to despair!
Something, some hidden truth, one she was still denying, tried to break free from her inner shields. It tried to come to the surface. A hurtful truth it was, one she was still unwilling to face. Her friends and allies never noticed her struggle, even Lord Sesshomaru was too focused on ending their enemy. Taking Rin as hostage and using her as bait for Sango had been the final straw. The lord of the western land only knew one outcome for this unfavorable situation; Naraku would be maimed and ended.
That Inuyasha was dead set on destroying his nemesis was no surprise to her, not after everything they had gone through.
All of them had only one thought in their minds: to destroy Naraku
Everything was so plausible now, so set in stone, so like things falling into their right place.
To Kagome it felt like chess pieces going for their last moves. Like the hidden strategies were finally brought to an end. Piece for piece moved forward in set paths going for the last moves.
The pieces felt only anticipation of finally ending the game; they had no doubt, no restriction…
For them there was only one goal: defeat the enemy. Yet, the players remained unseen, unnoticed and untouched.
Invisible forces behind the scene highly amused at how their game concluded.
Kagome shivered. The feeling inside of her grew stronger.
She asked herself what she had missed all the time.
The answer came to her finally and she didn't like it at all. It was a very bitter and deadly realization as the puzzle parts slowly started to make sense. A deep sigh of frustration left her.
The thing she missed in Naraku's eyes was the hatred. No, he still despised them but not for the same reasons as before. He didn't hate them because of his ploy, his revenge against Kikyo and Inuyasha for his betrayed love or lust… Not anymore at least…
He hated them because they brought his end without ever seeing what he had seen, what he had finally understood as he had fully claimed the Shikon jewel. They would win against him but in the end they would lose and never understand why or what had happened; except maybe for her_ the Miko.
Their eyes locked again.
Kagome knew why he was looking at her; he was expecting her to see, to understand. He had looked beyond the mirror, as well as she had done.
Finally her feelings, the clues, her suspicions clicked into place. Like her mentor had said:
"You have forgotten who your enemy is."
He had been so right but she hadn't been able to understand, not until it was far too late. Everything was too late; she had the truth but no more time to act on it. Burning anger coursed through her, finally she understood but she couldn't do a thing about it.
A week ago, when she had made her last visit home, before the final battle started. She had visited the dojo. She had needed to confide some of her sorrows into a person that was neutral and wouldn't judge her.
She had told him anything, never considering how mad the story of past times, Youkais, jewels, curses and time traveling wells had to sound. She never was considered a smart person but one thing she had always been able to do right. Kagome had always been able to look beyond a person's surface. She judged characters well and could see light and treasures were others couldn't.
She looked at Naraku again and now she understood the emotion in his eyes, it was resignation. Naraku had given up; he was only continuing now to see this play to an end. One look into those crimson eyes told her that he had come to realize that he never had pulled the strings. In the end the master puppeteer hadn't been him but someone else.
"You have forgotten who your enemy is."
The words echoed through her again, they were screaming the truth at her. Her teacher had understood and she should have as well! That afternoon she had told him the story of the Shikon no Tama, not the story of Naraku and Kikyo, not the story of Inuyasha or Kagome.
It had always been the story of the Shikon jewel. It was the story of the fighting Miko Midoriko and her battle against uncounted Youkai. It is the story of betrayal and the immense power of the demons which the jewel promised to his new victims, luring demon after demon into range, its vortex.
It was also a false promise, Kagome realized.
Looking into Naraku's eyes was enough to let her know that the jewel had granted him neither the power he had wanted nor his true wish of being united with Kikyo. No, it had thwarted his plans, making him believe he got everything he wanted and then kicking him into despair.
Despair. The jewel was created from despair. The young Miko gasped at realizing this small detail. Always there to grasp and disregarded as unimportant. Yes the Youkai souls lend the jewel its power but it was the despair which made it evil.
A human emotion…
How ironic, she thought. Naraku master manipulator had always known that not power or inflicted physical wounds hurt most but the betrayal of loved ones. He knew and finally he had come to realize that, that was what the jewel truly did. He must have realized that he had been entrapped as well as all the others. He was entrapped into the jewel's evil, Midoriko's evil, her despair.
The demons gave the jewel power but it was the despair which bound them into eternity.
Midoriko had been on the brink of despair. Battling these powers knowing she couldn't win; couldn't protect her loved ones and she despaired. In a final attempt to win she took all her power, all her despair and caged the Youkais and herself into an eternal battle.
Kagome realized that the jewel needed to be fed.
The spell needed to be fed to continue the eternal entrapment pulling one soul after another into the vortex of despair.
Created out of despair, it fed off despair.
It was never supposed to grant any wish at all, because if it did, the victim would flee the despair that the jewel needed to continue its existence.
It even created Naraku out of the human Onigumo and uncounted Youkais. It promised Onigumo the beautiful Miko and the Youkais power but it never fulfilled any of its promises… Kikyo got killed and the Youkais got stuck as unstable Hanyo set on revenge but not against the jewel…
Now Naraku's body had become like the realm of the jewel and all of them were trapped inside it. Their hearts full of despair, ready to become the next set of inhabitants of the cursed jewel.
The realization fueled her heart once more.
Inside the depths of her heart she found a new power it felt like a pulsing rage but without being destructive against her own body like hatred normally turned out to be. Funnily it had even a calm and collected quality to it and suddenly she was able to feel the cursed jewel hovering behind Naraku. Not much time had passed since the battle of mind inside the Miko. The woman still stood there bow held, arrow drawn aiming at their nemesis.
She paused.
It would only end if she made the right wish.
She needed to wish it gone.
It would end the battle, Naraku would die and the rest of the survivors could move on with their lives. The end was so close, so easy and yet so wrong.
Everyone was too occupied to notice her slight change of stance, except for Naraku. His eyes widened in surprise as she no longer aimed at him but at the jewel behind him. He closed his eyes knowing that the end was there.
Naraku's reaction didn't remain unnoticed. Inuyasha believed that is was his doing and taunted the other being even more, gaining only a weak smirk as answer. Naraku couldn't even bother to answer anymore.
Then Kagome put all her might, her love for her friends, for her world and her newly found wisdom into the arrow, lacing it with a strength that has never been seen before. Not even Midoriko could have put so much power into one attack.
The arrow shot through the air with a whistling noise and missed.
Her friends cried out in anger as the arrow missed Naraku's head but before any frustration could be announced, it went straight through the jewel.
A loud crack was to hear and everything trembled. Waves of power ran through the entire place. The walls and even the floor started shaking and there was a terrible noise but the jewel stayed intact even with her arrow stuck through the middle. Kagome could feel its power wavering for a moment but it wasn't gone.
Only the wish would end it. A wish that would seal their fate forever, she knew she had to wish it gone. A selfless wish was needed or it would never end… finding new victims to continue and true to her assessment of the situation the jewel started to play with her.
Kagome was consumed by darkness. The jewel toyed with her. It showed her images of her time, her family how she would never go back home, never see them again.
After everything she had been through, it was a weak attempt. Revealing to her that it had lost much of its power in the last battle and that her arrow was taking its toll but it still wanted to survive. It fought for survival, the same way they had done.
The souls didn't want to be wished into nothingness. Right there they had nothing to lose and she knew that such an enemy was worse than any other. It wasn't a question of power but of determination. Kagome knew that she had to be very careful now. It was offering to grant her any wish, if she wouldn't destroy it.
It would be selfish though.
She didn't care anymore. Kagome had tried being selfless before and it hadn't worked. Only more and more of people she cared for had been killed. Many corpses piled up in front of her inner eye… They had died in vain because nothing had been achieved in the end. No matter how hard they had tried, in the end they still had ended up inside the jewel's curse.
She made a decision.
She would never be weak again and she wouldn't allow people to sacrifice themselves for her ever again. She would become stronger and finally be the Miko they had needed, the one they had deserved. She would be what she was always supposed to be in the first place: Kagome the warrior.
In thoughts she answered the jewel:
"I will not wish to return to my family but we can make a deal."
Kagome knew she had gained her opponent's full attention. She also knew that right now she had to be really careful or the tricky object would dominate the game again. She vowed that this time she wouldn't allow the jewel once again to dictate the rules. No, this was her turn.
She needed to phrase the contract carefully. She knew it could send her soul through time, because it had nested itself within her after crossing centuries through time. It also had some activation powers on the time travel well; at least she assumed that much. Kagome also knew that it took much of the jewel's power to do so. It had been dormant for some years regaining its strength after pulling off such an enormous spell. Why else had it waited for fifteen years to take her to the feudal era?
A little voice in the back of her head questioned her sanity on putting their fate on some assumptions…
Kagome pushed it away.
She had needed a third option and that it was. Therefore she gathered her focus and will and spoke clearly to the cursed object floating in front of her.
"If you take me back in time as I am right now, this includes my heart, mind and soul. If you bring me into my four year old body, then I shall give the jewel to the first Youkai I meet in the feudal era, after I travelled through the well on my fifteenth birthday."
Kagome had gone through all her memories and come to a decision, hoping to not have overlooked something. On one hand she needed to leave enough lee way to allow the jewel the entertainment of being able to manipulate her again. Making it believe that she was allowing it to choose another Youkai to be her opponent next time, while in the background she had to keep her cards tight to her chest not once thinking a wrong thought or giving away her plan.
She only hoped it would be dormant again after taking her all the way through time and thus agreeing to take her so far into the past. It would need the time to recuperate before unfolding its new attempt to mess with them. It wouldn't want to be dormant during her trip to the feudal era therefore it needed to give her the years she asked for…
She hoped for its greed of playing with them all over again, for its undying need to finally devour their souls.
She so badly hoped that it would work.
Then everything ended. Slowly, like thick liquid pouring all over her, everything faded away. The story how it once was told became a mere memory inside Kagome's head as she was taken back by the jewel into her past.
This was the first chapter :-) What do you think so far?