Summary: You must accept what has been done. She held her breath and inched closer, each step growing heavier than the next as if a chain were around her ankle, urging her to step no further. You both no longer share the same world. So vulnerable, Yuuki thought, observing his sedated features. You know that it is not him. (Spoiler alert!)
A Quiet Afternoon
Tap, tick, tap, tick, tap, tick.
The drumming of her pen against the writing desk tapped in synchronisation with the ticking of the grandfather's clock.
Tap, tick, tap, tick, tap, tick.
Cradling her cerise cheek with one hand, the brunette leant on her elbow and stared absently into space. At that moment, addressing the tedious pile of paperwork was not one of her top priorities.
For the umpteenth time, Yuuki's anxious eyes flicked up to the clock's round face.
It was quarter past four in the afternoon.
A strong wave of nostalgia consumed her, as the warm, spring air breathed into the room, wrapping its gentle wings around her; encasing the naïve butterfly within a fragile chrysalis.
A pair of claret irises closed.
Leaning back into the chair, a content sigh tumbled from her parted lips as the pleasant breeze stroked her face and hair like a lover. Inhaling the fragrance of sweet peas from the garden below, strands of russet lightly danced upon the convivial streams of wind, delicate as a butterfly's wings.
Before she knew it, she surrendered herself to the seductive pleasures of rest.
Her pulse began to slow.
Her awareness of her surroundings began to wilt.
Yuuki could feel herself being lulled into the years of her youth, like a moth to a flame.
When life was so simple and she was at peace.
Yuuki...
Maroon irises groggily opened.
The grandfather's clock chimed six o' clock.
The pendulum hung still.
The room was noticeably darker.
An image of a particular man drowned her thoughts.
Where...
Yuuki stifled a yawn.
Where is he?
Looking out of the window, she caught glimpses of the familiar, glorious sunset, harmonising across the sky in ribbons of peony pinks, wisteria purples and marmalade orange.
Where is Kaname?
Having waited for him to return home on many occasions, Yuuki had often sought the sunset as a means of preoccupying herself. Yet the beauty of the sunset today failed to stimulate her attention ─ as did everything else.
I must see him.
A deep yearning to see his face stirred within her.
I must see my Kaname.
It burned within her.
Throttling her senses.
Indeed, since that day, she had been waiting for so long.
How long had it been?
How long had she been waiting for him to return?
Urgency prickled her senses.
Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock.
As always, the little pureblood attempted to reassure herself that he would walk into the room and greet her like he always did.
Pleading claret eyes leaped to the clock's face again.
Pressing pen to paper, an ink blue blemish stained the parchment as the pen's golden nib stroked the sheet absently.
Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock.
This just wouldn't do.
Abandoning pen and paper, Yuuki huffed in aggravation.
Abruptly standing up, causing her chair to screech, she brushed down her knee-length dress and walked over to the large window. Pressing her hand against the warmed glass, she covered the sun, as if it were a small pearl.
Isn't it pretty onii sama? I wonder if you can touch the sunset. And would it burn if you could?
She remembered well what it was like to bathe in sunlight.
However, I want to touch it even if it's only for a little while...Because it's just so beautiful.
The pleasant way it had caressed and warmed her skin...
The pleasant way he had caressed and warmed her skin...
Much time had passed since she had left Cross Academy, and started a new life with the man she held so close to her heart. Indeed, it was during this brief time she had spent with him, did she realise how strongly she craved to be by his side.
A content smile touched her thin lips.
Yes, she was content.
She was very content.
She remembered well the day he had confessed to her of his feelings. The way his eyes looked so vulnerable as he laid his heart before her...
Heart...
The side of her head began to ache.
The loud chime of the grandfather's clock serenaded her from her thoughts.
Yuuki's finely shaped eyebrows furrowed in deep thought.
Kaname? Where is Kaname?
Did something happen in the meeting?
Was it overrunning perhaps?
The constant ticking of the Grandfather's clock, like the strong beats of a heart, rung in her ears.
Her head begun to pulse again.
Winching, her long fingers sought to soothe the discomforting pain.
Withdrawing herself from the window, she decided she could no longer stay in the room ─ it was driving her insane. Piling her sheets into a neat pile and tucking her pen to the side, Yuuki exited the room, and turned down the corridor in search of Kaname.
With each step she took, the need to see his face ─ to just simply hear his voice infested her.
It corroded every fibre of her body.
She knew not where she was going.
Where are you, Kaname? Where are you?
All she knew was that she had to find him.
You will not find him, a voice inside her head mocked.
A sense of urgency filled her.
He is not here.
A determination to prove that menacing voice wrong boiled.
You know he is not here.
The sense of foreboding which hung over her like death intensified.
You know where he is.
Like a doe fleeing from a hunter and the snare of his hounds, her long legs stretched into a panicked run. Eye locking onto each passing door like a hawk hunting its prey, her hands slapped against the hard oak, slamming it open.
BANG.
Frantic eyes searched the room for his familiar figure.
Nothing.
BANG
Again she searched, her eyes alert and desperate.
Nothing.
BANG
Another empty room.
BANG..BANG...BANG...BANG
Heels tapped loudly against the marble floor as she ran down the length of the hall. Mind in a disarray, the pureblood tripped over an upturned corner of the carpet, causing her to carelessly lose one of her shoes and twist an ankle.
The apprehension in her small body filled to the brim, turning to fear.
Her heart hammered against her ribcage with bruising force.
Struggling to draw a single breath, like a bird wishing to be set free, she continued to run with a need like none she'd ever known.
She needed to find him.
She needed to move.
Faster!
Heels aching, questions rippled within her busy mind like a bubbling brook. Why was she feeling like this? Why so scared? Why did it feel like she hadn't seen him so for so long? Recollecting her youth, she recalled the overwhelming anxiety that consumed her when she had awoken to find Kaname not beside her after he had upon revealing his past to her. Instinct had never rung so strongly within her like that day.
Her blood had screamed for him.
Sung for him.
Clenching her jaw in bittersweet defeat, Yuuki slumped herself against the wall, urging oxygen to enrich her lungs.
The stinging sensation began to spread throughout her feet.
Worried.
She felt so worried.
For him.
For Kaname.
Something felt wrong.
Yuuki...
Her blood began to strangely hum.
Eh?
Looking up, she realised she was standing in front of the library.
Yuuki blinked, staring blankly at the two large doors.
She stepped closer.
A nostalgic jolt of electricity rippled through her fingers.
Her brows furrowed in confusion. She couldn't sense any disturbance on the other side of the door.
Perspiration pearled on her forehead.
What was happening to her body?
Her hand curled around the door's intricate handle in curiousity, like a snake lured by a charm.
Don't go in.
Her breath hitched.
Don't go in. You must not go in.
A seed of hesitation germinated within her.
Where had this sudden fear blossomed from?
Why did she feel a sudden foreboding behind this door?
Yuuki knew not.
Her blood began to hum louder.
Sing.
Shriek, howl, cry, scream ─
The need for a sweet crimson liquid stirred.
Adrenaline pumping through her, she heaved the doors open to be bathed by an amber glow.
Ngh.
Raising her arm to shield her sensitive eyes, sunset rained through the arched windows on the far side of the intimate library.
The faint smell of dust, paper and burning wood from the fireplace tickled her senses.
Blinded by the harsh light, she immersed herself into the shadows the tall bookcases graciously offered. Eyes adjusting, she noticed something across the other side of the room.
Her rosy lips parted.
Oxygen fled her body.
There, on the other side of the dark room, a lifeless silhouette laid stretched out on a chaise near the large window.
Yuuki felt her heart beat tremble.
For the female pureblood, it felt that time had fallen asleep ─ had become stagnant within this peaceful room along with the man whom occupied it. Yuuki felt like an intruder, trespassing onto this intimate scene.
Deep marigold rays lazily trickled through the large windows and wrapped his figure in a protective, warm glow. The salmon tinted light complimented the handsome man's high cheek bones, defining his jaw line as he silently slumbered. Strands of his dark hair caught by the peppered light lit an ochre colour caught by the peppered light, the strands of his dark hair were lit with an ochre colour. Just ever so slightly, Yuuki could see his chest slowly rise and fall.
Leave.
Yuuki clenched her jaw.
You must leave...
'I cannot', she rebuked, taking a step forward.
You must accept what has been done.
She held her breath and inched closer, each step growing heavier than the next as if a chain were around her ankle, urging her to step no further.
You both no longer share the same world.
So vulnerable, Yuuki thought, observing his sedated features.
You know that it is not him.
Often seeing his authoritative side, it almost felt obscure to see him merely...Rest. With his long arm draped across his chest, a now forgotten book laid face down on a particular page as it slowly slipped from his grasp.
Observing him in silence, Yuuki began to imagine the concentration on Kaname's face as he read the pages, using his long, slim fingers to turn each one. The way his long arms would wrap around her small waist, and enclose her within his protective shadow. The sweet warmth of his body lulling her senses. The sound of his gentle heartbeat.
Heart...Beat...
Her head began to throb painfully, as if seeking to recollect an important piece of information, but struggling to do so.
Tired from the Senate meeting, Yuuki readily concluded that he must have sought the library's quiet refuge and accidentally fallen asleep. A sense of sympathy readily budded for him. He was always working so hard. Never putting himself first. Indeed, his willingness to recklessly sacrifice his wellbeing for others scared her.
Dropping to her knees, she leant over to inspect Kaname more closely, strengthening her desire to stroke his face. To see those deep rose eyes open for her.
For hours, Yuuki could simply sit and watch his peaceful face. Hearing his soft breaths like that of a sleeping child. To admire his long lashes and the familiar curve of his lips.
A strong surge of emotion chocked her.
She felt happy.
So happy to see him.
A heated, crisp log crackled and hissed as it finally collapsed in the now dimmed fireplace.
A pair of irises slowly opened.
Caught off guard, Yuuki's breath hitched. A garnet blush tinted her small cheeks as rosy hues began to focus, and finally settle upon her stunned frame.
His eyes held hers.
Her eyes held his.
Drowsy irises filled with a warm recognition.
Without breaking eye contact, Kaname slowly raised his arm to reach for a single strand of Yuuki's hair, causing his silk blouse to hiss as it brushed against the furniture. Long fingers curling around chains of chestnut, he drew his hand towards himself. One by one, ribbons of auburn tumbled from his fingers and returned to Yuuki's side once more.
A ghost of smile touched his lips.
As a child, Yuuki recalled the hours Kaname would spend combing and kissing her long hair.
Her cheeks darkened as the comforting trail of memories returned.
A wistful expression now clung to his features.
Her brows furrowed in concern.
The library's golden hue dimmed into a dark pomegranate glow, causing Yuuki's alert eyes to flicker to the window to see the sun setting.
Tick, tock, tick tock...
His hand tenderly clasped Yuuki's.
He's so cold...
"Kaname?" Yuuki questioned softly, cautious to not disturb the library's serenity.
Why was it, she thought, that he felt so far despite being so close?
"What is it?"
Kaname did not reply, but merely watched her with an intense reverence as he moved her hand to place it over his heart; holding it there firmly.
Horrified eyes fled to his face.
The throbbing ache against Yuuki's head intensified.
Her hand began to tremble.
The memory of a burning furnace tickled her senses.
The heat against her numb body.
Attempting to desperately pull her hand away, like an animal fearing captivity, Kaname's grasp on her hands tightened, forcing her to keep her hand pressed against his chest.
"Kaname ─" An abrupt knock at the door shattered the library's serenity.
Before Yuuki could rise, the doors flew back, and a small figure tumbled through.
"Okaa san!"
A tall blonde man quickly followed.
"Ai!" he panted heavily, to only be ignored by the little girl who ran into the arms of her mother.
"S-She's been looking for you since her lesson finished," he shyly explained, straightening his back in attempt to regain his composure.
Yuuki blinked dumbfounded.
"Ah! Forgive me, Ai!" Yuuki apologised, looking down at her daughter who had nestled herself into her arms.
"Where have you been, Yuuki sama?" Aidou questioned.
"I was with someone."
"With whom?" Aidou asked with a confused expression.
"I was with ─"
She turned to look over her shoulder.
Her mouth dried.
You were warned. You were aware but chose to be ignorant.
A nostalgic pain began to consume her chest.
A sensation that she had suffered from for many years and still was.
Her mind relayed images of a man dropping to his knees in front of a furnace and slip away.
She recalled his body slowly growing cold against hers.
The sound of his last breath, and his body slumping against hers.
"I...I was with ─"
Her eyes remained fixed on the chaise where he had once slept. A lonely chaise gathering dust; painted in the amber light that had long ago shrouded a pureblood who now slept within an ice coffin.
Her daughter looked to Aidou in concern, noticing the change in her mother's mood.
Kneeling before her, Aidou took Yuuki's hands into his own.
"Yuuki sama," Aidou began with a sombre expression, "No one has been in this room, except for you."
Yuuki had been living in a world where she had not heard his voice for several years.
"Yuuki sama?"
"Forgive me."
Kaname was just there.
"I'm not too sure ─"
He was sleeping so peacefully.
"I thought ─"
He had finally come home.
Aidou shook his head with sympathetic eyes. "It's understandable. Kaname sama spent many longs hours in this room. It is only natural you sensed traces of him, Yuuki sama."
She had felt such a surge of strong emotions fill her to the brim when she had knelt next to him. Were they, perhaps, Kaname's feelings?
"Come, Yuuki sama," the blonde aristocrat beckoned gently, pulling the pureblood to her feet. As the three rose to exit the room, Yuuki, trailing behind, cast one final look at the lonesome chaise.
"Yuuki sama?" Aidou called from the end of the hall, hand in hand with Ai.
"Go on without me!" she returned closing the library doors behind her.
Closing her eyes, she could clearly envision Kaname once again sleeping upon the chaise.
One day, Yuuki prayed, he would be able to do that once again, and always wear that peaceful expression on his face.
Placing her hand against her beating heart, she made a silent vow.
One day, she would give Kaname the greatest gift.
She would give him, whom she loves, the world that she saw when she was a human.
Thanks for reading!