Startled awake as my bedroom door burst open, I tried to remain still under my covers, hoping that he might go away and let me sleep, like I needed to. He didn't leave.
"Get your lazy ass up this instant! I told you to have the the house clean by the time I got back!" Scrambling off my bed as fast as my exhausted body would allow, he threateningly stepped closer, narrowing his eyes. "Why do you have to be so worthless?" Cringing back as his hand curled into a fist, my voice came out shaky, but at this point, I didn't care, I just didn't want to be hit.
"I-I tried! I can only do so much! I-I could barely stay awake! I was going to finish! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Roughly he gripped my chin, making me look up as his voice came out as a growl, and giving me a huge lung full of the alcohol on his breath.
"Get it done! Now!" As he let me go, I figured I was safe, that he would leave and I would just start working. Didn't happen. A sharp crack echoed around the room as his palm connected with my cheek, the force sent me stumbling back into my side table. Lightly touching my stinging cheek, I looked up, tears welding up in my eyes.
"B-but I have school soon!" He took only one step forward, it was enough to send me scrambling further away from him, he smirked amused, then grinned.
"Isn't it obvious? You're not going. Now clean the damn house you good for nothing brat!" Watching him storm out of my room, I sighed, clicking my alarm off. I don't know what I'm going to tell the school, this will be my tenth unexcused absence... If I have anymore they'll send someone out... Not to mention the homework I'll miss, even though I have straight A's, then the school newspaper deadline is two days from now, and with only three of us we cut it close as is. Rubbing my eyes, I yawned, and what's another day running on two hours of sleep? I've already been doing this for the past four days trying to cater to the parties, cook, do homework, get stories for the paper.
"If you push the human body, it will respond."
Shaking my head, I groaned, plus I still have to get the money to get to the doctor about this damn voice in my head, it's annoying as hell.
"Get to work dammit!" Running a hand through my hair, I glanced at the clock, there was no possible way I could get all my work done in two hours, there was still a shitload that needed done.
"Coming Gilbert!" Hurrying out of my room, I groaned seeing all that I still had to do. There were dozens of beer bottles scattered, piles of dishes on almost every surface, and trash everywhere. This was going to take much longer than two hours...
Four trash bags of beer bottles, six bags of trash, and three hours of scrubbing dishes, and I still wasn't done... Doesn't help that the time that I had used to clean, Gilbert had gotten drunk again, adding to the amount of beer bottles. Plus in search of something, he had thrown clothes around everywhere, now I would have to wash them again, and he even chucked two plates at me. I was thankful for his bad aim. Drying and putting away the last dish, I rubbed my eyes, knowing I would have to do this all again next week, when he threw yet another party this weekend.
God I hate my life...
Hearing snoring from the next room, I dared to go into the bathroom, starting a short break by checking to see if I had a new bruise from where he slapped me. Flicking the light on, I flinched, not only was my cheek still slightly red, but a nasty combination of blue, purple, and black was starting to form. Sighing, I gently poked it, wincing at the pain. Great. Just fucking great. Looking at the clock as someone knocked, I was surprised to find it was already after three, which meant it could be only two people. Moving over to the door quickly, I opened it, not surprised to find Kiku and Feliciano, the two other that worked for the school newspaper, standing there, Feli looked annoyed and stressed.
"Ve~! Lud! We have deadline in two days! We can't afford to have you skipping out on us right now!" Glancing into the living room, afraid his raised voice would wake Gilbert, I relaxed when he only shifted in his chair a little.
"I wasn't ditching! Gilbert made me stay home to clean the house. I'm running on four days of two hours of sleep each! Cut me some fucking slack! I'm only human Feliciano! There's only so much I can fucking do!" His honey colored eyes got wide, showing fear, sighing, I rested my forehead against the doorframe, closing my eyes for a few seconds. "I'm sorry... I didn't mean to yell..." Hearing Kiku speak for the first time, I glanced over at him, sighing again.
"Arthur-san," The student council president. "has infruence on attendance, maybe I can tark him into having them give you a break..." I nodded, thankfully I had great friends, and okay, sure, Arthur and I didn't exactly see eye to eye most of the time, but we helped each other out when we got the chance, he's helped me out of situations like this more than once. Then if I saw someone giving him a hard time, I normally gave them shit till they backed off, it was a good mutual agreement that neither of us had really agreed to.
"Thanks. I promise I'll be there tomorrow, I'm almost done so I'm planning on crashing soon, I'm really sorry I wasn't there." Glancing over as Gilbert shifted again, fear froze me where I stood, if he found out they had been here when I still had work, he'd be pissed! "You guys should really leave, Gilbert's been drinking again..." Feli sighed sadly, then followed as Kiku tugged on his arm, leading him away, closing the door, I jumped when Gilbert yelled.
"Why aren't you working you piece of shit?" Turning quickly, his red eyes were glaring at me from across the room, his white hair was wild from tossing and turning, and man did he look over the top pissed.
"Th-there was someone at the door, I was just sending them away. I'm almost done, I promise!" Kneeling down to pick up the glass shards from the plates, I got all that I could, then hurried to collect his new beer bottles. Knowing if I reassured him, that he would go back to sleep, but this time he pushed himself up from his chair, glaring at me again.
"I'm going out, and this house had better be cleaned, and I mean it! If you go back to sleep without finishing, so help me, I'll kill you. Hear me?" I nodded, grabbing the last beer bottle, putting them all in one of the other bags. Picking two bags up, I headed out of the house, dropping them in the recycle bin on the corner of the street next to the house, repeating the process with the last eight bags. Passing Gilbert as I walked in the last time, he grabbed my arm, halting me before turning my head, to look at the bruise. "That left a nice mark." He patted the same cheek, making me wince each time, watching him leave, I moved into the laundry room, moving his clothes from the washer to the dryer, knowing he would care if they weren't put away. Letting out a sigh, I checked around the house, to make sure everything was clean and all that jazz, before heading into my room, almost collapsing onto my bed. He had woken me at six when I went to bed at four, now it was almost four in the afternoon, and I was dead tired. Closing my eyes, I don't even remember the last thought that went through my head before I fell asleep.
Groaning and turning onto my side as the front door slammed shut, I glanced at my clock, then rubbed my eyes, it was about seven thirty, I still had at least half an hour till I had to leave, was Gilbert just getting home? Climbing up, I moved into the living room, seeing Gil stumbling around drunkenly, great, now he's probably gonna make a mess again, and yell at me saying I didn't clean.
"Ludwig! Get your pathetic ass over here!" Sighing, I went into the kitchen, hanging back a little bit, noticing the vodka bottle in his hand. Shit, he'd been out drinking with Ivan! Feeling my face grow cold as the Russian came into the house as well, I backed up, not noticing Gilbert advancing till he grabbed my throat and pinned me to the wall. Alcohol strong on his breath as always, it was suffocating right now though, it seemed worse than normal, he always got slammed when with Ivan. Then the Russian would come home with him, use him, leave, and when Gilbert got a clear mind again, he was deny we was gay or that anything had happened. "What are you supposed to do everyday you worthless piss ant! Hm?" Oh shit...
"Cook dinner for you..." He gripped my throat a little tighter, not enough to constrict my breathing, but enough to get the point across.
"Exactly! Your ungrateful ass couldn't manage to do that? I work to provide you with a warm house, clothes, and food, all I ask in return is you clean and cook for me. It's not that difficult!" I didn't even bother looking over at Ivan for help, he would just be smirking, or laughing, either one.
"I-I'm sorry! I thought you'd eat when you went out! You didn't tell me to cook!" Now my breathing became difficult, trying to pull his hands away, he gripped tighter, leaving me straining to breath.
"I should do the world a favor and kill you right here and now! You're so worthless! You only take up space! A waste of air! You fucking piece of shit!" Tears welded up in my eyes, I wasn't sure if it was because I couldn't breath, or what he was saying to me.
"You're a waste of space. Waste of air. Stop fighting. Make the world a better place. Let him kill you."
The corners of my vision slowly started fading black as tears ran down my cheeks, trying to pry his hands away desperately, his eyes narrowed.
"Pl-please! Br-bruder!.. I don't want to-to die!" As his grip tightened even more, Ivan finally stepped in, pulling him away from me, collapsing to my knees, I gulped in air greedily, choking on my tears at the same time.
"You'd regret it later, da?" Seeing Ivan pull Gilbert into the living room, I wiped my eyes, staying on the ground for a while, letting my racing heart calm.
"So you survived this time. Do yourself a favor."
Did I really hate myself so much subconsciously? Climbing up, I moved into the bathroom, turning on the light and looking at my reflection in the mirror, the bruise on my face had spread completely over my cheek, and bruises were already starting to form on my neck. Gilbert was a strong son of a bitch when he was drunk, I don't think he realizes that though... Slicking my hair back like normal, I went ahead and brushed my teeth, figuring I'd just go into school early today, maybe get a chance to talk to Arthur myself. Hurrying back into my room, I pulled clean jeans and a different shirt on, pausing and shuddering when I could hear Ivan and Gilbert in the room next to mine. Picking my bag up from the floor, I went back into the bathroom, looking through the cabinets for pain killers, cause my throat would be hurting later. Grabbing a bottle, I shoved it into the front pocket, then hurried out of the house, locking the door behind me.
Closing my locker, I leaned my head against it, I had gotten here about twenty five minutes early, I didn't have anything to do, because Kiku had the keys to where we worked, and he didn't get here till fifteen minutes before. Sighing, I turned my head, hearing Arthur yelling at someone, groaning, I pushed away from the cool metal, heading toward the furious Brit, till I noticed it was one of the football players giving him a hard time.
"You're going to cut the football budget? I don't fucking think so you fag! If you even touch our budget, we'll murder your gay ass!" Seeing the Brit's cheeks puff out a bit, I walked over, shoving the boy away from him, he turned to me, then crossed his arms. "What happened to you? Get beat up by a forth grader?" Grabbing his head, I slammed it against the lockers as hard as I could, my voice was rough and scratchy, thankfully it was even able to be heard.
"Back off asshole, if the football budget get's cut, maybe you'll spend less time watching the TV and more time practicing. You guys might win a game then, and I might have something to write about. Don't mess with me today. Got it?" He nodded violently, letting him go, blood was running down his forehead, and there was a small smear on the locker, he didn't pay any attention as he darted out of the hallway.
"Thanks for that... Um, are you okay?" Glancing over at Arthur, I nodded, rubbing my throat before moving over to the water fountain, trying to ease the burn. "So, Kiku tells me you could use some help with getting rid of some unexcused absences again." I nodded, giving up when the water only made the pain worse, my voice coming out even more rough now.
"Yeah, my bruder makes me stay home to clean the house. If it were up to me, I'd never miss a day." He nodded, but didn't take his eyes away from my throat, uncomfortable with his gaze, I was going to walk away, when he caught my arm.
"Look, come with me to the office, I want Nurse Elizaveta to check you out... I know strangulation bruises when I see them." Pulling my arm out of his grasp, I shook my head, that would be the worst idea ever. "Why not?"
"She's my aunt by marriage. She'd freak!" His emerald eyes got wide, and he puffed his cheeks out annoyed again, I heard he was stubborn, but jeez oh freaking Pete!
"All the more reason to! Look, if you go, I'll wipe out all your unexcused absences. Okay?" Hesitating, I sighed, then shoved my hands in my pocket, defeated.
"Fine..." Following after him to the office, I kept my eyes down, hearing Veta's cheerful humming, I glanced up, stopping behind the blonde in front of me.
"Oh, good morning Arthur, Lud, what can I do for you?" Arthur glanced back at me, and I sighed, raising my head, showing the bruises, she instantly gasped and jumped up. "Did Gilbert do this to you? Both of them?" Nodding a bit, she sighed, then dragged me over to one of the chairs, making me sit down, before moving to get something. "Was he to much of a pain to get in here Arthur?" Glancing over, he shook his head, looking at me curiously.
"No, he wasn't exactly all for it, but you just have to know the right things to say." Glaring at him, he smirked, adverting his eyes quickly. Veta made me open my mouth, shining a light down my throat.
"Say 'Ah'." Rolling my eyes, I sighed, then did as she instructed, feeling like an idiot, and ignoring the worsening pain. "Does it hurt to talk and such?" I nodded a bit, she pulled the light away, then crossed her arms. "Well, there's defiantly some vocal damage, don't be surprised if you lose your voice for a while. You know I have to report this... He could have killed you this time Lutz..." I looked down, trying to avoid her gaze at all costs. "But you'll just send them away again, won't you?" I nodded, standing as she sighed and walked back to her desk.
"Can I go now?" She nodded, looking up at me sadly, I stayed for a second, only because she looked like she wanted to say something. Veta really was an amazing person, and the best aunt I could ask for, but she cared almost to much sometimes.
"Lud, remember, if you ever need to talk, Roderich and I are always just a phone call away, same thing if you ever just need to get out of the house." I nodded, brushing past Arthur, who followed me after only a moment.
"Wait!" Turning to him, he froze, going slightly pale, rolling my eyes as he hurried to speak, I glanced at the clock, Kiku should be here by now. "Actually... Never mind... Um, I hope your voice get's better, and thanks again for the help." Watching him run off, I shook my head, before starting toward the news office.
Grabbing my books as the final bell of the day rang, I sighed. About damn time, this day went way to slow and people were so annoying. During gym first period, the football player that I had threatened had his friends gang up on me, and they shoved me into the opened bleachers. By second period Chemistry II, I'm the only freshman in there, they had a rumor going around that I was a fag. When third period, pre calculus, again the only freshman, rolled around, the rumor had grown into Arthur and I were dating, cause I protected him. Fourth period, English, the whole class was hassling me about it, even though I ignored most of the jeers, it still hurt. Fifth period study hall, Arthur's youngest brother Alfred came over to ask me if the rumors were true, which he was sure they weren't, it was okay talking to him, he even got me to laugh. Sixth period World History, the teacher decided to tell me that everything I knew about Germany, where I was born and raised, was wrong, and that the way I pronounced everything was wrong. He's and idiot. Last period was a safe time, it was Kiku, Feliciano, and me working to finish the last stories, but even they asked me if the rumors were true. Walking out of the school, I sighed, then rubbed my temples.
"God I hate my life..." Heading toward the woods next to the school instead of starting towards home, I ran a hand through my hair, figuring I deserved a break from people. Today has been trying, more so than normal. Reaching the tree line, I followed the lightly worn path I had made before, following it to a small creek, that had a flat rock that sat beside it, climbing up to it, I sat down, placing my bag next to me. Digging through the front pocket, I grabbed the pill bottle out, reading over the label as I slid a bottle of water out of my bag. No more than two per six hours, and all that crap.
"Just deal with the pain you wimp. It's just a small burning."
Opening the bottle, I slid two out onto my palm, putting them in my mouth, then taking a drink of water, after a second, I watched the creek for a little bit, hesitating.
"I should do the world a favor and kill you right here and now! You're so worthless! You only take up space! A waste of air! You fucking piece of shit
My heart dropped into my stomach, does my life really mean so little that my own bruder would try and kill me? Am I really that pathetic? I don't mean to be, I do everything I can. Lowering my gaze to the, still almost full, pill bottle in my hand, I took a shaky breath, then lifted the bottle to my lips, emptying the contents into my mouth. Taking a drink from my water bottle, the pills went down with some difficulty, but not to much, not enough to stop me at least. Tossing the empty bottle off to the side, I stared down at the water. Sighing about ten minutes later, I heard rustling, glancing back, I noticed Arthur walk out from behind a bush. He looked up at me nervously.
"Um... I wanted to say I'm sorry." Confused, I just looked at him, he glanced around, then sighed, walking closer. "Well, if it weren't for me cutting the football budget, he wouldn't have been hassling me, and you never would have been caught up in this mess." I smirked, then looked down as my vision started spinning. "Ludwig? Are you okay?" Returning my gaze back to him, I was barely able to make out him picking up the pill bottle with all the dizziness I felt. "Oh my God..." Covering my eyes as my vision faded to black, I barely heard Arthur call my name once more before I passed out.
Authors Note:
I always see these stories about where Arthur is being abused, and Alfred helps him out. So I thought to my self, it's so cliche, so, I thought harder, and came to realize, who would really expect Gilbert to abuse Ludwig? Who who imagine Arthur being there to help? So therefore, this story was born. Though it took me three tries to get Gil mean enough. It's not over yet. Or is it? lol. It's not. Hope you enjoyed the first chapter! :D