"Mr. Malone?" Moana's hand shot up in the air. "Can you help me find the point of the plane 2x − 3y − 4z = 25 which is nearest the point (3, 2, 1)."
The teacher, Post Malone let out a sly chuckle. "I ran out of tears when I was 18 so nobody made me but the main streets."
Moana's face twisted. Regardless, she shrugged and wrote the answer onto her paper.
Mr. Malone tended to be pretty popular with the students. In fact, he was known as a rockstar. That means he was always willing to buy the kids a bottle or sell them a couple grams of cocaine. Which the students of Arby's University thrived on.
"Hey Mr. Malone?"
The white teacher with dreaded hair (Cultural Appropriation :() scowled. "Yes, Nicholas?"
The red fox flicked his pencil between his paws. "Do you ever lay in bed and realize how not okay you are?"
Mr. Malone furiously slammed his fists onto his desk. He and the fox had beef that went way back. Especially now that Nick Wilde was competing with him for Arby's University ultimate drug dealer title. It was a rough game and everybody wanted to win.
"Ask me a calculus question, or get the fuck out!" He pointed to the door.
Some of the students chuckled. Right on time the bell rang and Mr. Malones calculus class rushed out into the sea of other students.
Judy playfully punched her fox boyfriend in the arm. "Why are you such a dick to Mr. Malone?" she frowned. "He's like the coolest teacher here."
"You serious? Haven't you seen Ms. Blacks sex tape?" He responded sarcastically.
"Nick.." Judy's face turned red. "You know I'm not like that…"
"Whatever you say, Carrots" Without another word he wandered off into the halls disappearing from the bunny's sight completely. She would never understand why he was so cold.
One of the many controversies surrounding Arby's University was the fact there were two fraternities and only one sorority. Which wouldn't be a problem if the two frats weren't completely segregated. ALZETA consisted of your average rich party boys. The ones who dressed in sperry's and ralph lauren polo shirts. Then there was OMBETA these men were your run of the mill rednecks, drug dealers, and former felons.
ALZETA was led by the legendary hawaiian demigod Maui. He'd been in charge for over a thousand years. At this point his parents couldn't even pay his tuition so technically he was no longer a student of the Arby's University. Nonetheless, the demigod stuck around refusing to step down as head of the fraternity.
OMBETA had a fierce leader named Ralph. He was muscular, clever, and was equipped with temper as bad as his breath. Ralph was always prepared to wreck something especially a sorority girls pussy.
Over time ALZETA and OMBETA formed a rivalry. Both fraternities wanted to claim the DELTATHOTA sorority. Because at the end of each school year Arby's University had a massive orgy and only the fraternity that came out on top was allowed to share a bed with the THOTA's.
Maui swung his wooden hook directly at Ralph's throat, attempting to kill him. Ralph fired back with a thrust of his fist uppercutting the demigod in the nose. Maui felt blood dripping from his snout. He gently wiped his hand under the area to see how much damage was done. Upon realizing Ralph had broken his nose completely he tackled the massive brick to the ground of the courtyard. Still attempting to inflict pain by using his hook.
"Hey!" A man with a british accent called. "I'm surprised no one has ever punched me in the face!"
Ralph furiously threw the demigod off of his chest. "Fuck off, Mr. Healy!"
"Yeah, this isn't any of your business!" The two frat leaders fist bumped after roasting their instrumental aesthetics teacher.
Matty Healy, the has been popstar pulls a joint from behind his ear. "Come on men, let's just chill." He emphasized, drawing out each of his words.
The frat leaders followed Mr. Healy too his van. The type you would see picking up a child at the park only to for the child to be reported missing two days later. It was decked with blue interior with a leopard print cloth covering the dashboard. Matty tried to his best to fit in while claiming he liked to stand out from the crowd. He was relatable, and the students loved him for this.
Ralph took a hit of the joint and slowly exhaled. "Look, Maui. I don't wanna fight man, but if you keep thinking you're gonna be banging the THOTA's at the end of the semester you've got another thing comin."
Maui scoffed. "Hah! You actually think they'd let rednecks into their sex dungeon?" He snatched the joint from Ralph taking a hit for himself. "Listen, for the past thousand years I've led the ALZETA's to that sex dungeon. I don't plan on that changing anytime soon."
"Well plan for it!" Ralph took another swing at the demigod.
"Hey!" Mr. Healy shouts again. "We're here to talk about our problems, not cause more."
The flashed him a blank expression. The only thing Mr. Healy ever did was cause drama. In fact, he'd been fired sixteen times for sleeping with the girls of DELTHOTA. Due to staffing issues Human Resources rehired him a few weeks later each time.
"I just don't like other guys messing with my chicks ok?" Maui defended himself.
"Who said they were your chicks!" Ralph shouted. Fighting back the urge to break the demigod's nose for the second time that day.
"Pipe down." Mr. Healy breathed. "None of you own those girls... "
Ralph and Maui opened their mouths to argue.
"Until the end of the semester... " Matty narrowed his brows and winked at both gentlemen.
The frat leaders nodded in agreement. The british pop-star was right. It was better if they saved their energy for the mock WWE match next month. Where Eric McMann would visit Arby's University and judge the ultimate wrestling face off. ALZETA the reigning champions head to head with OMBETA. Battling for the beautiful DELTHOTA's.
One of the best parts of the orgy was the virgin sacrifice. This years sacrificial lamb was Moana. The fourteen year old genius. Which was fine, because nobody came to Arby's University to learn. They came for sex, drugs, and rock and roll. Anyone who attended the school had a secret wild side regardless of their age.
Ralph and Maui silently exited the van after Mr. Healy removed his shirt and began singing a song about killing himself. Things got a little too intense the poised gentlemen. Plus class started in ten minutes. Sex Education with the one and only teen pop sensation, Rebecca Black.
A few of the DELTHOTA's gathered in their luxurious living room, working on their calculus homework. Mr. Malone was always hard on them, but it was for the learning experience. Though most of his students would admit the only thing he's ever taught them you gotta step out of your comfort zone.
"Jeez, Mr. Malone is really shafting us with this assignment isn't he?" Rapunzel bit the tip of her pencil.
Tinkerbell waved her wand through the air. "Oh come on, he's just trying to whip us into shape." She winked.
The group of young woman mischievously giggled.
Moana cocked an eyebrow confused as to what the upperclassmen were talking about. "Really? He just gives me the answers during class."
A wave of silence enters the room as the girls glanced at one another. Their chuckles turned into fits of laughter directed towards Moana.
"Well, I guess you haven't gone in for extra credit!" Rapunzel mocked her.
Moana, being the virgin sacrifice was still learning the ropes of UOA. However, Moana was ready to experience all of the exciting things college had to offer. Selection Day, also known as the hat draw where the virgin sacrifice was selected had taken place a few weeks prior. All of the UOA virgins entered their names into a hat, whomever's name was drawn was the virgin sacrifice. The title meant you were the main focus during the end of year orgy. It was a highly respected achievement.
Oddly enough, Moana's closest friend Judy Hopp's name was originally drawn. Upon realizing the bunny wanted nothing to do with the title Moana volunteered herself. Taking one for the team, while also making herself one of the most popular girls at school.
In a darkened corner of the room, sat the most superior DELTHOTA of them all. The blonde haired bitch with a superiority complex named Elsa.
"So, Moana are you excited to be this year's virgin sacrifice?" She smirked, flipping her long blonde french braid over her thin collar bones.
Moana perked up straightening her shoulders. "I'm thrilled actually, I'm sure it'll be a crazy ride!"
Elsa stood up, and placed a bony hand on Moana's thick black curls. "Well, I'm just glad you took Judy's spot." She snided. "If you hadn't chances are no one would've shown up to the sex dungeon in the first place."
The study group exchanged a shady look. Except for Moana who jumped to defend her friend. "Judy's catholic, she's saving herself for marriage, why can't you respect that?" She scowled.
Rapunzel smacked her tongue. "Looks like Elsa wants her virginity back."
The group of girls bursted out in laughter again. Jokes at Elsa's expense were always welcome. Elsa might be their sorority leader, but she was a bitch. Therefore bullying her back was one of their favorite pastimes.
"Shut the fuck up, you whore." She snatched Moana's textbook from her hands and chucked it at Rapunzel's face. "You've fucked so many guys, you're starting to look like one."
The sorority leader flipped her hair once again and strutted out of the room.
Rebecca Black and Post Malone sat together in the janitors closet doing lines of cocaine from Matty Healy's asshole. This is what the teachers did in their freetime, sometimes they invited the students.
Judy and Nick sat on his pull-out sofa. Ever since the dean caught the fox smoking crack in the courtyard he'd been banned from living on campus. Judy found it unfair because 100% of the university's students and teachers did drugs on campus as well. Nick had just been the unlucky one. UOA's dean Hillary Clinton was a total gemini, who thought pant-suits were still in style. Regardless, Nick's drug money supplied him with a shitty apartment shared with an equally shitty roommate.
Nick kissed her cheek. "Come on, Sweetheart. Finnick's not here we could totally get away with it."
Judy shook her head. "I have class in an hour, Nick!"
The bunny was a strict catholic. She'd been raised with strong beliefs, one of those being that sex before marriage was the ultimate sin. Judy had piles of excuses and in a little over three months she'd already used every single one of them on Nick. The fox never seemed to accept she just wasn't ready.
He stroked her fur. "I can be quick."
Judy crossed her arms and rolled her eyes. "I know, every one of the other girls in DELTHOTA has told me."
Nick played of his embarrassment. "I choose to be fast." The fox looked offside.
The bunny would rather change the subject than argue with someone stubborn as Nick. "You're coming to DELTHOTA's rager tonight, right?"
"How could I resist? It's the biggest cash grab of the month." The fox pulled a bag filled with white powder from between the couch cushion. "They need the stuff, I've got it."
Judy's jaw dropped. "Nick, you know I hate that you deal drugs. Can't you get a real job?" She snatched the bag away. "Or else you're going to be stuck living with Finnick the rest of your life."
The bunny threw the white powder onto the table and marched out of his apartment. Sex and drugs just weren't her fortay.
"Can someone pass me a bit of that Axe spray?" A southern tow truck by the name of Mater called.
The OMBETA gentlemen were pregaming for DELTHOTA'S rager that evening.
Woody the cowboy tossed the can axe towards the tow truck. Mater caught it with his hook. "I got ya'll, axe is the greatest fuckin' cologne in all the south!"
Donkey gave Woody a playful kick in the knee, knocking him over. He spit out his chew tabacco onto the dirty carpet. "Which THOTA you boys hankerin' to get a taste of tonight?"
Ralph shot up from his bed in excitement. "I'm going for Elsa tonight."
The OMBETA boys looked at him in shock. No man had ever conquered Elsa. She was said to be untouchable, no one knew why.
A few moments later, a familiar fox entered the room. "Gentleman, I've got the stuff." He flashed a large bag of cocaine and removed his sunglasses from his eyes. "Want a line, it's on me!"
The OMBETA's took their turns with the cocaine, preparing themselves for what would be a historical night for all of them.
Maui let out a battle cry in front the mirror. Trying to boost his ego despite the broken nose.
"KACHOW!" Lightning McQueen rolled up behind him, the shiny lightning bolt on his side reflected in the mirror.
Much like the OMBETA's, the ALZETA's were pumping themselves up for the rager.
Kristoff, removed his shirt flexing his perfectly oiled pecs. "I'm thinking, no shirts tonight? Who's with me?" The large group of egotistical males cheered in agreement. Bumping their chests together in delight.
One of their housemates Tank Evans sat in the corner, making out with one his many surfing trophies. They boys assumed he wouldn't be making it to the party tonight.
Students were piling into the DELTHOTA house. Music was blasting through the speakers, strobe lights flashed through the house and front lawn. If there was one thing the DELTHOTA's did better than sex, it was throwing a rager. Unbeknownst to anyone, tonights party would be their most outrageous one yet. The aftermath, would be even worse.