My name is Alice. I am fifteen years old and live in Berlin, Germany. It is 1939. Nazis are patrolling the streets. I hate the Nazis and I hate Adolf Hitler. They have destroyed my hopes and dreams for a happy future. I am sitting in my small backyard, daydreaming of America. I want to be a singer in New York. Mother and Father are in the sitting room listening to Hitler's speech on the radio. I refuse to listen. "Alice." I hear a voice whisper. I look up.
"Jasper!" I gasp. We haven't seen each other in days. Jasper is my boyfriend. He is tall, with long blonde hair and COLOR eyes. I cross my small lawn and climb over the solid wood fence. Once I am over, Jasper embraces me. I sit down and lean my head against his shoulder.
"Oh, my darling Alice. How I've missed you." He whispers into my hair. After Hitler came to power, Mother and Father forbade me from ever seeing "that Jewish obscenity" ever again. Now we meet in the dead of night. His visit today scares me.
"I've missed you too." I reply. He kisses my forehead.
"Alice, my love, I need to ask you something." He says. I look up into his green eyes.
"What is it?" I ask. Although he is seventeen, Jasper still has the features of an adolescent.
"I need you to promise me that when they take me, you'll go on with your life." He says, leaning his forehead against mine.
"No. They won't take you. They can't. I won't let them." I sob hysterically, burying my face in his shirt. The ugly yellow star pinned to his shirt pokes me in the cheek, almost mocking me that I can't be with my true love. I don't care about it.
"Look at me." He says softly, tugging my chin up gently with his finger. I look at him through tear filled eyes. "You must promise me this much. Promise me that you'll go to America and become a singer. I will find you. If not in body, then in spirit. Promise me this." He whispers. I nod my head.
"I promise." I whisper. He kisses me softly, and then gets up.
"I must go now. But I will meet you tonight." He says. He kisses me once more, and then leaves. I climb over the fence, and then go inside.
"Alice, darling. Come listen to Chancellor Hitler's speech." Mother calls to me. I ignore her and go to my room, counting down the minutes until I see my Jasper again.
6 Weeks Later
"Alice! A guest is here to see you." Mother calls from down the hall. I walk out of my room in my stiffly starched new dress and heels. Mother insisted on looking "presentable" for our guest. A boy about my age stands at attention in our doorway. He is in a stiff, German soldier uniform. "Alice, this is James. He is a Hitler Youth." Mother says, pulling me towards him.
"It is a pleasure to meet you, miss." He says, not making eye contact with me. Miss? I've never been called "miss" in my life. I already don't like him.
"Nice to meet you." I say, curtsying like a "proper lady" as mother puts it. He bows to me.
"I'll leave you two to get to know each other." Mother says, slipping into the kitchen. I sit on the sofa and gesture to the armchair across from me.
"Please, sit." I say. He sits stiffly. I pour him tea and hand him his cup.
"Thank you." He says. I nod. We sip our tea in silence until he speaks. "How old are you?" he asks.
"Seventeen." I reply, irritated by Mother's attempt at matchmaking. "How old are you?"
"Nineteen." He replies quickly. I look down into my tea. For the next hour and a half, we ask each other inane questions. Finally, he leaves and I am left with a promise of a return by him. Mother is pleased, but I am disgusted.
That Night
Mother and Father are asleep. I slip silently into the backyard and jump over the fence, landing lightly on my feet. Jasper is sitting with a bouquet of day lilies. I kiss him on the cheek. "Hello." I whisper.
"Hello." He replies. He hands me the flowers. "These are for you. I know day lilies are your favorite." He adds. I take the flowers.
"They're beautiful." I whisper. The bright yellows and oranges Jasper bring color to my grey days to come. I lean against him, tucking my head under his chin. He wraps his arms around me.
"How was your day?" he asks. I laugh quietly.
"Terrible. Mother tried to set me up with a Hitler Youth." I say. I over exaggerate Hitler Youth like Mother. Jasper chuckles.
"How ironic. Your boyfriend is Jewish and your mother is trying to set you up with a Hitler Youth." He muses. I roll my eyes.
"It's not funny. It's some sort of sick joke. Mother actually thinks I can be happy with that…that…robot! He didn't keep eye contact. Or smile. Or even really talk that much. He was so dull." I cry out. Jasper rubs my arm. I barely noticed that the night was cold. "How was your day?" I ask. Jasper sighs.
"Very boring. I sat around and wrote all day." He replies. Jasper wants to become a famous author. Before Hitler began having Jews persecuted, Jasper and I planned to go to America where I could become a singer and he could become an author. 'A new start' as he had put it. I wanted so badly now, for that to be possible. It was just too dangerous though, what with the new laws and everything. Jasper and I sit there for another three hours, talking, and then I begin to yawn. "I'm keeping you from your rest. Go. Get some sleep. I'll see you tomorrow night. I love you." Jasper says. He kisses my forehead.
"I love you, too." I yawn. He chuckles.
"Yes I know. Now go get some sleep." He says. I kiss him and trudge into the house, reluctant to ever leave his side.
The Next Day
"Alice. James is here to see you." Mother calls. I drag my feet as I walk into the sitting room where, once again, James is standing at attention.
"Hello James." I say coldly.
"Manners." Mother hisses. I grit my teeth.
"I mean. Won't you sit down James?" I say. Mother nods approvingly and leaves to the kitchen. James stays for two long, painful hours. Again, he doesn't talk much, and never looks me in the eye. I do not like this boy at all.
That Night
Once Mother and Father go to bed, I sneak out to the backyard. I sit leaning against the back fence and wait for Jasper. He doesn't come. Soon, I fall asleep and dream about me and Jasper living in a posh New York penthouse suite. The dream is so vivid that when I am woken by Mother, I am startled. "Alice. What on earth are you doing outside at this early hour?" Mother asks. I have to come up with a quick lie.
"I felt ill and thought it would be best for me to get some fresh air." I lie. She looked me over.
"You do look a little pale. Alright, let's get you inside and up to bed." She says. I follow her inside and look back quickly at the fence. In the distance, a large truck used to carry Jews to the concentration camps drives on a dirt road.
One Week Later
I am walking on the dirt road that the Nazi truck was driving on so many days ago. The air is thick and hot. I should be inside, but I don't want to for all Mother does is talk about James. There is something on the round ahead of me. I pick it up. It is a journal. I open it and am drowned with Jasper's neat handwriting. This journal was his. He was in that Nazi truck. They took him. I read that they took my Jasper only hours after I saw him last and that he is worried for me. He was concerned for me while he was on a Nazi truck on the road to hell. I read more. It says,
I wish I could have told my love goodbye. She doesn't deserve this. I wish we had eloped and gone to America before all of this nonsense began. I wonder what my darling angel is doing now. I My mother is dead. The Nazis beat her after she tried to save my little sister. They will kill two of my three little sisters in the concentration camp we are being taken to. They are too young to be able to work. Isabelle is two, Maria is nine, and Louisa is four months old. We left Louisa with a non-Jewish neighbor so she could be protected. I know she will be safe. My father is saying Jewish prayers with the priest sitting next to him. I am concerned that he has gone mad. I feel so alone, even in this overcrowded truck. Is it possible to feel alone in a crown? I fear it is. The Nazi soldier is yelling at me now. "Give that to me." He says. I refuse. He
Then it stops. What? What does the soldier do to him? If I were male I would sign up for the army and fight against Hitler and his Nazis. But that is not so. I am a woman and I cannot join. I tuck the book under my arm and decide to walk back to my home. I am exhausted and just want to sleep. "Goodbye, my darling Jasper." I whisper into the wind. Then I turn around and go home. I will never see my Jasper again.
63 years later
Jasper died in the concentration camp, Auschwitz. They killed him in a gas chamber after he broke his spine trying to work for his freedom from them. After hearing about this, I went to America to fulfill my promise to him. It seemed only right. I never married because my heart belonged to Jasper. He touched my heart in ways no other man could. I was a singer in New York, New York for thirty three years. I kept my promise to Jasper. My name is Alice. I am 78 and living in Glenwood Springs, Colorado. It is 2002. Nazis no longer patrol streets. I still hate Nazis and I still hate Adolf Hitler.