Jaffa in my toilet

By

Carter Crazy

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I am not afraid of the Jaffa clogging up my toilet

I may be holding a staff weapon but that doesn't mean I'm afraid, oh no!

But I'll tell you one thing though, I really don't appreciate it.

Because now I really have to go!

I asked him nicely to leave

I even offered a happy meal

But no, he wouldn't budge

So I tried to use force and let me tell you never try force on an Jaffa that is clogged up in your toilet

Whoa boy! It's not a pretty sight

People do not flush! It just makes matters worst with the overflow!

So when all else failed, I called Carter

Mind you it didn't go down well when I said I had a Jaffa jammed in my toilet

You know what she said?

I'll tell you… she said

"Sir, it's 3am!"

Well duh! Like I didn't know that, but I really had to go to the toilet!

So anyways with some pleading and some convincing I finally got her to reason with me… she hung up

So now here I am busting to go and all she could do to help me was hang up on me.

Well that's alright for her, she has unlimited access to her throne.

Sighs

So now I've been holding on for like hours as I sit here on the couch in the loungeroom looking at the bathroom door with my staff weapon. I looked at the clock and come to realise it's only been 15 minutes.

I did have a thought pass through my mind. I remembered I had some gasoline in my closet from a while back

Why I have gasoline you ask? Well I can't really say but for situations like this aren't you glad you got some, I know I am.

So as I lift the drum of gasoline and entered the bathroom I had a thought pass through my mind…

I wonder what barbequed Jaffa would taste like?

Mmm Jaffa…

So I start to poor the gasoline over the little sucker and ignored him as he squeaked at me. I then pulled out a match and lit it, then threw it in and shut the lid of the toilet quickly and stacked a pile of magazines on it, suddenly there was a…

BOOM!!

I was flown back through the door and hit the couch that fell over from the shaking of the house

Man! I hope the neighbour didn't hear that. When the shaking finally stopped I went back to the bathroom with a bag to survey the damage. Well what was left of it anyways and to my delight I saw the Jaffa impaled into the wall of the bathroom, fully burnt to a crisp. I carefully got a fork and peeled it into the bag and that's when it hit me

My toilet had gone outwards into my neighbours house, Mrs... What was her name?!

Now Mrs... ? was always the polite but I swear the words she was saying weren't anything close to polite. So I decided to get out of there and head on over to Carter's, well I was still busting after all.

So I rocked up on her door and knocked, when she open she didn't look pleased to see me

"Sir it's 4am, this better be good!" So I showed her the proof of my jaffa that had been clogging up my toilet. I shoved the bag in her face and gloated

"And you said there wasn't a Jaffa!"

I thought I was right, I was convinced even after my toilet was blown to a crisp, I had a jaffa in my toilet

I was convinced until Carter said

"Sir, it's a rat" I looked at the bag for a moment then shoved it in her hands

"You might want to do an experiment on it, cause of death unknown" I pushed passed her and entered her bathroom and sighed with relief

Well you have to admit, 2 bottles of alcohol sure does go through you on an empty stomach.

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A/N

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Thanks for reading!