Summary: When the Avengers return, they see that life has changed. The world moved on. And, while the stars are going out, and the apocalypse may be in the offing, they aren't needed or wanted in Tony Stark's life. While Tony struggles, his friends — the ones who didn't abandon him — are there to help.
Peter's life was happy and good. The stars were still disappearing but he was having sex so… it all evened out. He was at the house, working on his glue when the doorbell rang. "J, who is it?" asked Tony, who had Phillip on his hip and a screwdriver in his hand. Phillip was wearing his play hardhat and kept handing things to Tony. Tony didn't need a screwdriver because he was working on a projection but he accepted everything Phillip handed him with gratitude and then put it down when Phillip handed him the next thing.
"Captain War Criminal and the fools who sided with him, sir."
Peter and Tony looked at each other and Tony pulled the camera from the front door up. "Wow," said Peter. "Wow."
"The UN said they were going to put out feelers for the others… The stars are going out." Tony shrugged, "I didn't think it was going to be this soon."
Peter shook his head, "I'll deal with this."
"Are you sure?" asked Tony.
"Positive. Watch me on the monitors: I'm putting on a show for you and getting some stuff off my chest."
"Do I need popcorn?" asked Tony.
"You're definitely going to want a snack," said Peter, snapping off his gloves. He went through the house to the front door, texting Aunt May, "I know you invited Tony 2 dinner but things are rough wood u mind cooking here? Sry, 143."
"Y?" came the response.
"Capt. Amerifail is at the house; dont know whats happening. Tonys gonna take it hard and wear a bright face."
"K. CUS." was the response.
He opened the door. They were all there even the ant guy and Bucky Freaking Barnes. The gall of them turning up en masse was almost impressive. But Peter wasn't going to move. They were not coming into the house.
He crossed his arms, leaned in the doorway and said, "We're not interested unless you have Girl Scout cookies. You're not Girl Scouts are you?"
The blond motherhugger was standing at the front and had the gall to smile, "You know who we are."
"You're right, you are internationally recognized fugitives from justice," said Peter. "Therefore you're not Girl Scouts so I'm going to go ahead and ask you to please move along."
"Kid," said the bastard.
"The stars are missing so the UN said you could come back but no one in this house did. You were charged in absentia with attempted murder. Everyone in this house was looking forward to you going to prison. You have no business here. You're unwelcome here. We very specifically don't want you in this home. I don't know what you don't understand about what I'm saying: you are not welcome here."
Vision flew into the front yard and looked at them and then looked at Peter. "Hello, Peter, did the post come yet?"
"Vis, you have to stop ordering crap from the internet. A huge box came from Germany. It's on your bed."
"Your idea of crap and my idea of crap is very different," said Vision. He phased through the others and never acknowledged them as he went inside and floated up the stairs.
Peter looked at the group and said, "You're still here."
"Who the hell are you?" asked Natasha and Peter laughed.
"You knock on a door and ask the person who opens it who they are? That's not how doors work, Red," said Peter. "I'm supposed to be here, you aren't."
Phillip ran up to him and said, "Daddy says we'll get Thai food when you finish taking out the trash."
"Can you, please, remind Daddy that Aunt May is making us dinner? She's gonna come here and make us her good tomato soup."
"I like Aunt May's soup," said Phillip.
"Everyone likes Aunt May's soup. She's gonna come here so everyone doesn't have to go to Queens."
Phillip tugged on Peter's arm and Peter picked him up, "Who are they?"
"They're no one, Phillip," said Peter.
"Is that Fanial's daddy?" asked Phillip, pointing at Clint.
"Yes, that's Nathanial's daddy," agreed Peter.
"Fanial's mommy cries lots 'cause of you," Phillip said to Clint.
"Can you please go tell Daddy that Aunt May is making you dinner tonight?"
Phillip kissed Peter's cheek scrambled down. "Who was that?" asked Captain Moron.
"Phillip Stark, he's the kid who could have been your kid had you not forced his dad to stay in the closet with you. He's the baby Tony was always asking you to adopt." Peter smiled. "He's awesome and he's not yours. He is Tony's awesome son. You missed out. Sucks to be you. You're all still standing here. Vision completely blanked you all. A toddler called you all trash and told you your wife cries because of you, Robin Hood, and yet you're still here."
Bruce came to him and sighed heavily. "I was given a line."
"Who is your best friend and emotionally supports you in all you do?" asked Peter.
Bruce nodded and said, "Say, what is Aunt May making for dinner?"
"Tomato soup," said Peter.
"Oh good, I love things that are red and don't taste like betrayal." Bruce looked at Natasha, shrugged. It made Peter laugh, he was sure Tony was laughing back in the lab. Then Bruce gave Peter a small, vaguely amused smile and said, "Your timer dinged, Peter."
"That was a fifteen-minute warning," said Peter. "Thank you though."
"I gotta get back: my timer is about to ding," Bruce left without saying another word to the others or even looking at them again.
Peter asked, "So are we done yet?" looking around the group. "I would like to shut this door."
"I sent Tony a phone so he could call me anytime. I only received one message, a transcript of a conversation he had with Spider-Man," said Steve. "I just realized who Spider-Man is and who is standing in front of me."
Peter just stared at him and said, "JARVIS, does this ring any bells or was FRIDAY handling things then?"
"I was there, sir," said JARVIS.
"Can you fill me in?" asked Peter.
"Spider-Man was spending time with Mr. Stark. He fell asleep sitting up and explained that he was having nightmares and not sleeping at night. The events of Germany, in particular Rogers' absolute callousness and violence toward him, had frightened him. He was having nightmares where he transposed Rogers' face onto the man who had murdered his uncle. He said he had never been as afraid of a criminal as he was of a man who claimed to be a superhero. His distress was sharpened by the fact that he could have easily bested Rogers were it not for his own integrity. He was also disturbed by the fact that Rogers made it obvious that he knew Spider-Man was very young but never once pulled his punches — it scared him on behalf of the young people who weren't as strong as him and might have the misfortune of upsetting Rogers. He agreed to go to therapy and Mr. Stark made the snap decision to stay here and help his friend instead of moving away. Mr. Stark, knowing how scared Spider-Man was, had me anonymize the conversation to protect the young man's identity so that Rogers would never know who he was."
"Thank you, JARVIS," said Peter. "So," he said, looking at Steve, "you think that the gatekeeper is Spider-Man and you think that you can, what, intimidate me into stepping aside? Are you hoping that you scare me the same way you scared a kid?" he laughed. "Tony anonymized it to protect his friend from you. If I were Spider-Man, do you really think that outing a man who had acted to hide his identity from you would endear you to him? JARVIS says that Spider-Man went to therapy, do you think you still feature in his nightmares? Do you have such a high opinion of yourself that you expect to star in the nightmares or everyone you have ever hurt even years after the event?" He laughed again, "I don't know. But here's what I do know. You don't scare me and you're not getting into this house. So, if you think I'm Spider-Man why don't you hit me? If I'm just me, I go to the hospital and you go to prison. The stars are going out, the public might be scared enough to tolerate a man who almost murdered a superhero. But, if you think they are going to tolerate a wanted criminal who walked onto American soil and assaulted a seventeen-year-old, you're wrong. The monster who almost murdered Tony Stark is now brutalizing children? You're definitely going to prison. So start hitting me, an honor roll high school student, and go to jail. That's where I want you. Your incarceration is at the top of my Christmas list and it would be worth a broken jaw. Or, I'm Spider-Man and you hit me and I hit you back and I kill you. JARVIS' calculations are never wrong. He says the only reason you won was that Spider-Man held back. So hit me and I will break you and walk away from your crumpled, breathless body and wake up smiling every day in prison because the man who hurt my friend and scared me is dead and I will never feel an ounce of regret because I'm not the bad guy; I'm the guy who killed the big bad wolf. What's it going to be, you schmuck? Hit me and let's see what happens. Either way, I win."
Shaking his head, the icicle said, "I just want ten minutes of Tony's time." He sounded tired, like he was sick of Peter. That was fine, Peter was sick of his face.
"And I want you to be castrated," said Peter. "Neither of us are going to get what we want."
"Look," started the bastard.
"No, you look, he was touch and go for a long time. Vision found him eight hours after you and Bucky left him paralyzed. The doctors thought he had been unconscious for about seven hours, once the adrenaline wore off his body turned off his brain to stop the pain of injuries and not enough air. He was stuck in a dead suit filled with his own blood and urine because you ruptured his bladder. The pressure of the suit stopped him from bleeding out but he couldn't breathe. He has bad lung capacity on a good day and you broke four of his ribs jamming that shield into him. He had six surgeries, pneumonia and a blood infection. He was in the ICU for two weeks. He lost a kidney. He found out that the supposed love of his life lied to him for two years and instead of groveling and begging for forgiveness you and your best guy tag teamed beating him to death. That was three years ago. You left him for dead." Looking at the rest he said, "You all picked your team. Tony rebuilt his life. The Avengers were rebuilt. They signed the Accords, they have been a team for years. They aren't a family because Tony will never allow himself to make that mistake again — team isn't family, family is family — but they are all a team who like each other, care about each other, work with each other, back each other, trust each other. They're friends. People are scared because the stars are going out. Calling you back was for show, to prove the UN are fighting the fight on all fronts: Tony and the real Avengers can handle this. You're unnecessary. The Avengers can accomplish this win without you, you might speed up the process but they could do it on their own. Should the UN decide you and the real, legal, role model, genuine hero Avengers need to work together, you can have a work-based conversation but if you think there are going to be any heart to hearts, you're wrong. You stopped being a family of friends when Steve-O shoved Howard's shield through Tony's arc reactor and the rest of you chose to follow him. The Avengers team is alive and well and none of you are on it.
"Stevie, you left him in a dead suit on his back when you knew he couldn't breathe right and he couldn't stand up. That was a death sentence. You shared a bed for four years, you know he can't breathe right on his back. Now, you come here wanting 'just ten minutes'? This is like a rapist saying he wants ten minutes of his victim's time. What you want is irrelevant. His desires mean everything; you have no rights here. You took his kidney. You took four years of his life that he could have been with someone who loved, valued and respected him. You took his trust when he found out you had lied. You took his expected future when you ran off with your ex and left him bleeding on the ground. You have already taken so, so much that you didn't deserve. Tony's emotionally and ultimately physically abusive ex and the people who went with him cannot take ten more minutes from him. He has no interest in seeing any of you. He owes nothing to any of you. When I say you're unwelcome, I actually mean that the sight of you on the doorstep makes us all angry and nauseous. We find you repugnant. You're despicable. Tony lives with his one kidney and his family in this happy home you have no place here. None you have a place in the lives of the people inside. Vision and Bruce dismissed you. Rhodey hasn't even bothered to come and insult you. A stranger was the only one who could stomach dealing with you." Then he said, "Hey, JARVIS?"
"Yes, Mr. Parker?"
"Did the UN inform NYPD that these criminals were coming here?"
"Not according to any of their databases that I have access to. And I have access to ninety-six percent of their data."
"The UN let them back in the country, but has the District Attorney dropped any of the charges?"
"No, Mr. Parker."
"And is there still a restraining order against Captain Criminal and Buck Wild in addition to the other charges?"
"Yes, Mr. Parker."
"Cool, put in a call to 911, tell them that Tony's attackers and their collaborators are on the front step."
"Of course, Mr. Parker."
Before shutting the door he said, "Speaking as just a member of the public, not as Tony's friend, the world is on Tony's side. A hundred and seventeen countries came to you and told you that you were terrifying goliaths and that, to feel safe, we wanted you to listen to the authorities and not just wield power like self-governed despots. Tony and the real Avengers said okay and they work with the UN, you guys just do whatever you want. My New York feels less safe with you in it because you're unpredictable and so powerful. And I'll be telling my aunt to steer clear of Midtown until you all crawl back under your rock. The UN is tolerating you, not really pardoning you. As a seventeen-year-old from Queens, I'll feel safer once you're gone and I don't have to be scared of cowboys who run roughshod over the little guy while claiming to be heroes." Sirens became audible to the human ear and Peter said, "You want to be good guys? Let yourselves be arrested and follow the law, accept the consequences. You'll all go to prison, you'll be let out when whatever is happening comes to a head and then you'll all go back. You want to prove you are who we all see you to be? Start running." He closed and locked the door. Walking back into the lab he was greeted with clapping and he took a theatrical bow.
"Beautiful," said Tony, hugging him.
"Thank you," said Peter, "It felt really good to call the monster under the bed 'Stevie' to his face. I've wanted to shout at all of them for a very long time and I just let the poison out of the wound."
"Thank you, Peter," said Tony. "I really appreciate it. I don't think I could have faced it." He smiled, "You grew up so magnificently. That was brave. I couldn't have guessed that fourteen-year-old I brought to Germany saying boo to a goose without his mask. You called him despicable. I'm really proud of you for calling him mean names."
Peter gave him a smile, "The good thing about having friends is that you don't have to do everything yourself. You can be brave for each other when it's hard to be brave for yourself. I don't know what I would have said to the monster if I hadn't been speaking for you. I probably wouldn't have been so cocky and so bolshie. I was never as confident about being mouthy without the mask. Are they getting arrested or fleeing?" Peter asked Rhodey, who was still watching the screens and had Phillip on his hip.
"The cops are here. They just cuffed Sam."
Peter and Tony rushed back to the monitor. "Cashew?" Tony offered as they watched. Peter accepted a nut without looking away from the monitor. They watched as a cop guided Captain Jackass' head as he sat in the back of the police cruiser and Tony said, "This is the best day ever."
Tony breathed out, he felt funny and slightly light-headed. Watching the TV he said, "After a delightful dinner with your aunt, we're going clubbing. Aunt May should come. You in?" he asked but didn't wait for an answer. "I'm calling the babysitter and Thor. We're celebrating and we're doing a show of unity. JARVIS, call Thor for me."
The sound system played ringing and then Thor's booming voice said, "Hello, my friend: I answered the cellular phone."
"Thank you, Thor, I know that's sometimes hard for you. Aunt May is cooking really good soup tonight and then we're going clubbing and I wanted to ask you to please come?"
There was a pause, "My friend, are you alright?"
"Steve and all of the runaways just got arrested. I feel like, as the heroes who have signed the Accords should have a show of unity… also, he left me to D.I.E.," he smiled at his baby, "Phillip is listening so I'm spelling that."
"Does that spell doggy?" asked Phillip. "That starts with a D."
"Yes, it spells doggy," agreed Thor, "You're a very good guesser, Phillip. I shall see you shortly, my friend."
"Tony, sit down," said Peter.
"I'm fine," said Tony.
"You've gone a little gray," said Peter, he held out his arms to Phillip and took him from Tony. "You okay?"
"He left me there and once I thought he would be P.H.I.L.L.I.P.'s other D.A.D. and now… You were amazing. It's over. It's over. But hearing his voice even through the speakers…"
"It's over, Tony," Peter promised.
"The relationship was A.B.U.S.I.V.E. I see that now. I'm worth so much more than that."
"Tony, there is nothing you aren't worthy of," said Peter.
"Are you quoting that circus movie you dragged me to?" asked Tony.
"I liked it," said Rhodey.
"Me too, I liked it too," said Phillip.
"Like or hate, you have to admit, that one girl looked just like MJ," said Peter.
"A passing resemblance," said Tony and Bruce in one voice. Then Bruce added, "But he's not wrong: you're great, Tony."
"Pete, are you still angry at Jess?" asked Tony.
"I mean I am, but I'm not so angry that I'm not willing to party with her. Things take priority; she hurt me but… he left you to D.I.E. So, I can smile and party with her. I could also bow out. Under eighteen clubs might be a little lame for you."
"You're walking in with the Avengers, you'll get a loser stamp but they aren't going to card you," said Tony, "J, mass text to the Avengers, the Four, Maria Hill, Pepper, Happy, Strange, May and Liz: Peter just got Steve et. all arrested: celebrating and showing the public we're still a team tonight at OverUnder. Jess: you're preemptively cut off but we're dancing. 11 PM at the door." Then he smiled at his son, "Phillip, if you wake up tonight, Abby's going to be here. But I'll be home before the morning." Phillip smiled and Tony said, "J, text Abby, ask her to come. Text Wolverine, tell him the deal and say that I know the X-Men are have a dry month so would they very kindly keep an eye on the city tonight? With them and the street heroes working, I feel comfortable tying one on."
It was sorted out fast and dirty and Tony was frantic and when Aunt May came Peter literally shoved Tony into a seat and handed him ice tea. "You need to breathe." He smiled at Vision and says, "Hey, Vis, can Phillip help you open your mail?"
"Phillip, I got a big box today, come have a look," said Vision, holding out a hand to Phillip.
Once Phillip was fully out of the room, Peter said, "Okay, no baby: it's just us grownups. What's wrong?"
"Nothing… I'm happy, elated, but also dazed. I feel like I snorted an eight ball of coke and Xanax."
"Are you saying that from firsthand knowledge?" asked Peter.
"I used to be cool," said Tony.
"I know that I always say that I like every facet of your personality, but I so don't want to hang out with the guy you used to be," Peter said with a small smile.
"Let you in on a secret?" said Tony, "I wouldn't want to hang out with him either. You'd think pre-torture-and-mutilation me would be better than post-torture-and-mutilation me but you'd be very wrong. That guy was an asshole… I mean I'm still kinda an asshole."
"Hey, now, none of that BS," said Peter. "I don't let people talk that way about my friends. You gotta be kinder to yourself. The people who hurt you are dead or in custody."
"You actually challenged Steve to punch you; you have testicles of iron," said Tony with a broken laugh.
"Tony, how can I help?" asked Peter.
"Come dancing with me," said Tony. "Help me not get sucked into thinking about him. I hate that he still has even a little power over me. I was so happy seeing him getting arrested but a small part of me… a tiny, teeny part of me… he was supposed to be the happily ever after."
"Do you want to take away the last bit of leverage he has? Do you want every ounce of the power?" asked Peter.
"Yes," said Tony emphatically, "yes. I want it to be over."
"Okay, then tonight at OverUnder, where there is always a ton of celebrity reporters, it's going to come out that you and he had a four-year relationship and he lied for two years and all you got out of it was being down a kidney. Okay?" asked Peter.
Tension in Tony's belly slackened but he said, "We can't do that."
"So you have to keep the confidence of a man who hurt you? Why can't we do that? Why does he get to walk away with nothing but jail time while you're still here with anxiety?" asked Rhodey. "Pete's not the only one who hates seeing you like this."
Tony studied his hands, "I can't do that," he said, more quietly, because it sounded so appealing but… he couldn't do that.
"Jessica owes me," said Peter, "she'll be the one to do it and you'll have a front row seat."
"Okay," said Tony before JARVIS confirmed that the X-Men were going to keep an eye on the city and Abby could babysit.
"Okay as in, 'I won't argue when you do this, Peter,' or okay as in, 'I like this plan and I would enjoy it'?" asked Peter, crouching.
"Let me think it over; don't text Jess yet," said Tony, "I don't know which okay I meant."
"Of course," said Peter. "Tonight is all about you."
May made soup. Tony thought it is probably delicious. The few things May cooks without turning into monstrosities were always delicious, homey comfort food that made Peter grin at her. Tony loved being in her kitchen in Queens, it always had the same atmosphere as eating with Ana and Jarvis when he was little. Now, though, he couldn't taste the soup. He was so happy but he felt separate from his body even as he talked with the others.
Steve, the man who lied, was in holding. Steve, the man who said the arc reactor was the prettiest shade of blue he had ever seen, was in holding. Steve, the man who always said he just wanted privacy and wasn't hiding anything and that Tony should get a date for the gala, was in holding. Steve, the man who was supposed to be Phillip's other dad, was in holding. Steve, the man who told him he was beautiful, precious, worth the wait, was in holding. Steve, the man who said Bucky was his friend, was in holding. Steve, the man who cried after having sex the first time and said, "So that's what the fuss is about," and curled into Tony's side, was in holding. Steve, the man who asked for "just a little time" but never once held his hand in public in four years, was in holding. Steve, the man who threw him the first surprise party Tony had ever had, with balloons and streamers, and hats and a homemade cake, was in holding. Steve, the man who left him to bleed on the floor, was in holding.
He paused with his spoon halfway to his mouth and said, "Text Jessica, let the world have the whole truth, there will be a media circus for a few weeks and then we can shut the door on this for good."
Peter nodded and gave him a small smile, "Sure."
OverUnder had been a hot spot for almost a decade, never losing its cool status, never getting larger or less exclusive. That heyday had only lasted three solid years for Studio 54 and Tony had only been seven then. They passed the bouncer with Tony giving the man a warm handshake. "There's pap in there," the man warned. 'A starlet brought them in with her entourage and Kal Yatics is doing his final set tonight so there's actual media in there too."
"I'm not missing Kal's last set. The DJ scene is losing a giant. Thanks for the heads up, Alec." They walked into pounding music and Tony rolled his head on his neck, "Let's have some fun." They went to the bar and Tony smiled at the bartender, "You have some superheroes partying with you. Keep the shots flowing." He pointed to Liz and Peter, "Designated: mocktails only."
They drank and danced but it was under forty minutes before reporters were calling him over. Peter leaned up and spoke in his ear, "I can hear everything over the din. I'll send Jessica when it's time."
Tony nodded and went over with his celebrity smile in place. "Hi." There was a buzz in his head, pleasantly warm from alcohol.
"Mr. Stark, Steve Rogers and the Rogue Avengers were arrested earlier today outside your house. Do you have a statement?"
"I believe the statement was made when I, and around twenty of my closest friends, walked into the hottest nightclub in New York. The X-Men are watching the city tonight. With that, plus my babysitter: we're partying."
"Don't you think it's tawdry to celebrate their arrests?"
"I didn't correct you before, you called them the Rogue Avengers, that title gives them an unjustified dignity." He felt irritated, he shouldn't have to defend himself. "Super skilled people decided to break laws created through the will of the people with full knowledge of those laws and then run away from the consequences. So, I'm here with my friends celebrating the fact that criminals are in custody."
"Steve Rogers," the man began and then Jessica was drunkenly slinging her arm around Tony.
"I heard that name and I came over to join the bashing."
"Jessica, that's a live TV camera," said Tony. "Just FYI."
"Oh, I'll happily go on public record: Steve Rogers is a bad man," she grinned at the reporter.
The man gave her the side eye and said, "Don't you think, in deference to the services he's rendered America, some leniency-"
"No," said Jessica, "No. Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me right now? Those people were charged with serious crimes and Steve, your Mr. Deference-Deserver, was charged with the attempted murder of Tony and now you want to ask Tony if it's too harsh? What victim blaming hell is this? No. Steve Rogers beat his boyfriend almost to death and he doesn't get a pass because he did his best to fight Hitler."
"Jess," said Tony, sharply.
"No, Tony, all these years and you're still dealing with this. You lost a kidney. No. That man broke you and you don't have to cover for him or keep his secrets. How long were you together?"
He took a breath, it was really out there now. No turning back. He'd wanted this. The only way out was through. "Four years."
"And how long did you want to tell the world while he kept it behind closed doors?"
"From the word go."
"And how long did he lie to you about your parents? How long did he know that his brainwashed buddy murdered them?"
"Two years."
"And how many thousands of your dollars did you spend of your money trying to find your boyfriend's best friend without knowing that Bucky killed your mom?"
"Six million dollars… it's expensive to reposition satellites that frequently. If Steve had told me… he lied, Jess, he lied for so long. You can't claim to love someone and do that to them."
"I know," she said, "We've all dated bastards. What was the cutesy thing he said about soulmates?"
"He told me that the ice was worth it to meet his soulmate." He swallowed hard, that still hurt, and said, "But he wouldn't hold my hand in public and he lied to me, and he wouldn't take responsibility when asked to by the law, he wouldn't listen to the voice of reason and I'm down a kidney and too many of my friends. The Accords are good laws. They refused to listen to good laws." Looking at the reporter he said, "I don't have to apologize for being pleased they've been arrested. They're good laws and I'm down a kidney. I am allowed to party and toast their incarceration. I have stood by the Accords and I will continue to do so. Jess, let's get you some water and me some shots."
"My metabolism: I'll be sober in five minutes," she slurred.
Tony smiled at the camera and said, "Oh, to have an enhanced human's metabolism." Then he turned and headed back to the bar with her arm still around his shoulder and said, "You fake wasted so well."
"A lot of practice not much acting skill," she said. She leaned over the bar and waved to the bartender. "A glass of Coke and this guy needs to catch up."
"Your friends have been doing Flaming Dr. Peppers, you good with that?" the bartender asked Tony.
"Are we in college?" asked Tony.
"They're on special."
Tony sighed, "How many am I going to have to drink to catch up?"
"Just two."
"Just two?" repeated Tony. "That took less than ten minutes and I'm two behind?" the man nodded. "Okay, line them up." He watched the man pour two, semi-filled beer glasses of Corona and then retrieve two triple shot glasses. The man measured out the amaretto, root beer schnapps and Bacardi 151. The man lit the two shot glasses on fire and then carefully drop the flaming glasses into the beers. "Thank you, good sir. Jess, are you really drinking Coke? I think you just earned a drink."
She sighed, "One more of those," she said to the bartender. To Tony, she said, "Peter said you were in on that but that it wasn't scripted."
"I wasn't expecting his thing about soulmates to come up."
"No, well, I think that's the worst part of it. People claiming to be your soulmate while destroying you." She took one of his drinks as they watched the bartender.
He tapped his glass against hers, "May Kilgrave rot in hell and Steve rot in prison."
"I'll drink to that."
By the end of the night, Tony was wasted and drenched in sweat because Kal had been on point with the music. Peter was texting cabs and Tony went to him. They were just waiting on one last car. "Peter," he said and touched the boy's cheek.
Peter looked up from the phone with an indulgent, fond smile, "Tony."
"I need to say something, and it's not 'cause I'm drunk, 'kay?"
"Okay."
"You're the one good thing t'come outta the fuckin' German shit show."
Peter hugged him and said, "I know, Tony, I feel the same way. I'm really glad we're friends."
"You're my little lab buddy," Tony said, nodding, agreeing with himself.
Peter smiled and said, "I wouldn't have it any other way. I love you, Tony. And I'm saying that sober."
"I love you too. How are y'gettin' home?" asked Tony, feeling he should be the responsible grownup even though he was drunk. It was four AM and he was sort of in charge of the teen.
"I'll swing me and Liz to her apartment, don't worry: I'll text May when we get there." A van cab pulled up and he said, "This one is for you." Rhodey was half carrying Bruce. They and Tony piled into the Uber with Thor, Vision, Happy and Pepper and Peter said, "Someone make sure the science bros sleep on their sides, okay, no one is going to aspirate because Captain Horror Show finally got his."
Peter shut the door behind him and Tony remarked to no one in particular, "He's such a good boy."
Notes: So, it's over. I thought about a story where Peter was unmasked to the public, but that story has been done very well by many other people. I thought about a story where Deadpool found out Peter's identity and brought May flowers while Peter freaked out via text to Tony and Tony texted back making fun of him — the way your asshole friend does while you have a pointless, harmless freakout — but it just didn't feel right. I thought about a story where Steve goes on trial. But, in all honesty, I want to wash my hands of him (in this interpretation) as much as Tony does.
A very small side note, I think, "That's not how doors work, Red," might be my favorite line in this whole 'verse. But, "I love things that are red and don't taste like betrayal," is a close second.
I hope you enjoyed this ride. If you did, please leave a comment: I love hearing from you!