The First Full Moon

James and I were sitting in the heads common room. We were alone (for once). Tonight was a full moon. The first full moon since James had told me the Marauders deepest secret. James had actually finished his homework before hand and I had altogether given up on my feeble attempts at concentration.

I was sitting on the floor with my knees drawn up to my chest, my back resting against the couch. Now that I did know what James got up to once a month I was just a little freaked out. A little? Okay fine I was totally freaked. It's just what if something happens to him? I can't even imagine life without James anymore. My James…just thinking of him hurt is agonizing.

James was sitting completely relaxed on the couch that I was leaning against. I could feel his eyes on me. So I looked up at him and smiled. He had his eyebrows furrowed and he was looking at me with concern. He pulled me up so I was sitting with him on the couch and then took my hands in his.

It felt like my insides were turning to goo. He was looking into my eyes with a slightly uncomfortable amount of intensity. It always felt like he was looking into my soul when he did that. "Lils, please tell me what's wrong." James said tenderly. He can get anything out of me when he looks at me like that. He knows it too. "Are you worried about tonight?" Did I mention he could read me like a book? Because if I didn't, well he can.

I looked down and fidgeted a bit. I really wanted to twist the hem of my sweater, but James was still holding my hands. He put his hand under my chin and gently forced it upwards so I was looking at him again. I nodded my head slowly, "I know I shouldn't be; I'm just not quite used to this yet…" I gave him a reassuring smile so he would know I was alright. "I'll be waiting for you when you get back."

James smiled softly. I was beginning to feel more at ease. James had that effect on me. He kissed my temple and pulled me over to him so I was sitting on his lap. He wrapped his arms tightly around me and I willingly melted into him. I loved how safe he made me feel.

"You know, I could really get used this." I murmured into James' chest.

He chuckled lightly, "So could I love, so could I."

I breathed James in. He smelled sooo good. And that's when it hit me. I mean when it really hit me. I already knew I did, it's just that this time it hit me like a big, purple, triple-decker bus. I love James Potter. I also got this overwhelming urge to tell him so. What if he doesn't feel the same way? Of course he does! He's only been chasing after you for how many years! Yah, but you know how guys are…I don't want to scare him off or anything. Oh just tell him! He doesn't have to say it back so you might as well get it out in the open!

"Lils?" James's questioning voice pulled me back to reality. Oh no, its time for him to leave isn't it? I don't want him to go yet!

"Is it time for you to leave already?" I asked sitting up and climbing off his lap. He let go of me reluctantly and stood up too.

"No I still have some time, I wanted to tell you something actually…" he looked nervous. Why does he look nervous? Oh my there's another girl! And now he's going to dump me and break my heart and there is no lycanthrope or full moon adventures or "Lily," he took my hands, oh no oh no oh no no no no no, "I love you."

That shut my mental ramblings up.

I gaped at him, "Wh…what?"

He looked into my eyes really deeply again and repeated, "I love you, Lily Evans." I can't believe he beat me to it! Who cares he loves you! Say it back you bloody moron! I felt myself break out into a huge smile. I probably looked like an idiot, but that's okay.

I squeezed his hands, "I love you too James Potter." He started smiling really big also. He pressed his lips on to mine and I responded only too happily. Another great aspect about James, he is one hell of a kisser!

I lost myself in his kiss. His arms were wrapped around my waist pulling me ever closer to him. He kissed me as if he couldn't breathe if his lips weren't on mine. I felt him deepen the kiss further after a few moments. I threaded my fingers up into his hair. He pulled me even closer. James' tongue traced my lips which I gently parted. I stopped thinking entirely and just allowed myself to be enveloped in the feeling of bliss and contentment.

I heard a distant noise. I couldn't quite make out what it was. I decided to ignore it and kept snogging James. James had moved his hand from my waist up into my hair and was pushing my lips closer to his.

"OI!!"

I shrieked and pulled away from James. I heard and a thump and turned to see James on the ground looking highly alarmed and disheveled. His lips were a little swollen and his hair was sticking up more than usual. I assumed I didn't look much better than he did. Sirius (of course) was standing a few feet away laughing and Wormy was by the portrait hole watching the scene. When he saw Sirius laugh he gave a high pitched giggle, but stopped a moment later at James' angered expression.

"I thought you two had gone deaf. I've been shouting for the past five minutes." Sirius's tone may have been agitated, but his vastly amused expression kind of ruined the effect. "Sorry to interrupt the party mates, but I do believe we have some other business to attend to."

James stood up and brushed himself off. "Right." He looked at me regretfully and apologetically. All my worries came rushing back to me as I remembered that it was full moon.

I stood up and walked over to James. I placed my arms around his neck and stood on my toes (ignoring Sirius' "Bloody Merlin, not again!") and gently placed my swollen lips on James'. James rested his hands on my hips and lovingly responded to my kiss.

I pulled away after a moment and placed my mouth to his ear and whispered so

Sirius and Wormy couldn't hear, "I love you. Be careful James."

He wrapped his arms around me tightly and whispered into my ear. "I love you too Lils." My worries (for the most part anyways) vanished when he said those three little words into my ear. I released him and watched him leave after he brushed another light kiss on my mouth.

I continued watching the portrait hole James had walked out of for a while. I don't know how long I stood there just staring blankly. I felt slightly numb, my thoughts chanting over and over again that James would be fine and I was worrying for no reason. I finally decided to do something useful opposed to just standing there. I looked at the clock and its only 8:02, far too early to go to bed. I sigh trying to make a decision and thinking dully of the transfiguration essay I had attempted to do earlier.

Finally gaining some willpower I picked up my essay, a quill, and some ink and left the common room to go to the library. I browsed through the shelves looking for books about human transfiguration. I had to write an essay about transfiguring humans into animals. Talk about irony. I pulled down a few books that looked like they might be useful and sat down at an empty table. I flipped disinterestedly through one of them before looking out a window at the full moon. I could have sworn I heard a howl.

My thoughts returned to James. I tried not to worry about him and instead thought about what had happened right before Sirius' interruption. He had the worst timing, but I guess it was necessary.

James loved me. Just thinking the words he said earlier eased my anxiety. He loved me, and I loved him back. An involuntary idiotic smile spread over my face. I was already excited to tell everything to my best friend, Alice.

She would be delighted and we would scream and jump around and give up all pretenses of self preservation. Then Alice would tell me a story about some recent excursion with her and her steady boyfriend Frank and we would scream and jump around even more. Then during breakfast we would sit down next to our respective boyfriends and burst out giggling every time we caught each other's eye while Sirius would not so subtly question our sanity.

The smile faded from my face as I remembered where James was. All of that would have to wait though. I wouldn't tell Alice until James was back in my arms where I knew he was safe and I could kiss him and touch him and smack him for being a bloody prat.

Sighing again, I remember my essay. I look down at my parchment where a few pathetic sentences are written in an uncharacteristically messy fashion. I look around the library and notice that it's gotten quite empty. It must be near curfew I gather my things leaving the books on the table and head back to the common room.

Once inside I put my essay aside with no intentions of returning to it that night. I checked the clock again. 9:20. Could the clock be going any slower? I started gathering the things I would need for classes tomorrow as a time waster. I went around routing out my potions, ancient runes, and charms books.

Considering I had only had the classes a few days ago my books had spread pretty far. One was under my bed, one was in James' room, and the other was lying abandoned on the floor in the middle of the bathroom. I didn't quite understand how that last one had gotten there. I had finally gathered everything up making sure to take an extra long time putting my books and homework assignments in just the right order and spent at least a minute with the clasp on my bag. I glanced at the clock. 9:38.

I decided to take a shower. I made sure the water was burning hot before undressing and stepping in. I just stood there and let the water beat down on me for a while. It was incredibly relaxing to my surprise. I had never been one for long showers, but I could see their appeal. I felt all of my muscles release the stress I hadn't even realized was there.

I got out and finished getting ready for bed. I didn't stop to look at my reflection in the foggy mirror. I crawled into my bed and got comfortable. Sleep didn't come to me though.

I watched the minutes slowly tick by on my clock. I must have dozed off a few times, but I can't be sure. Around 1:35 am I decided I might as well do something. So I moved to James' room. Not exactly doing something, but lying restlessly in James' room was better than laying restlessly in mine.

I must have dozed off again because the next thing I knew I heard someone softly saying my name. I opened my eyes instantly to see James leaning over me. Relief. I sat up and wrapped my arms tightly around James' middle feeling his arms wrap around my waist. I held him tightly, but he didn't protest.

Then I kissed him. I kissed him hard and he responded eagerly just as he had before. It felt so right. I hadn't even realized how wrong it really felt without him until I had him again.

I pulled away and quietly said, "I love you."

I can see him smiling and he pecked me on the lips before echoing back, "And I love you."

Hey guys!

I hope you liked this! I originally wanted it to focus more on when James came back but it felt like the story just would have carried on too long. I'm thinking of making it a two shot or just writing a whole different one on when James returns from a full moon. Anyways please tell me what you think!!

--Jenn