"È notte alta e sono sveglio
sei sempre tu il mio chiodo fisso
insieme a te ci stavo meglio
e più ti penso e più ti voglio.
Tutto il casino fatto per averti
per questo amore che era un frutto acerbo
e adesso che ti voglio bene io ti perdo
Ancora...
ancora…
ancora...
perché io da quella sera
non ho fatto più l'amore senza te
e non me ne frega niente senza te
anche se incontrassi un angelo direi
non mi fai volare in alto quanto lei "
Chloe was looking at Lucifer's hands gracing the keys. It was more like staring. The notes of the piano and the breaks in his voice were hypnotizing. Chloe felt warm and a bit too shy to meet Lucifer's eyes. His voice let it transpire that he was singing with emotions, but she didn't know what he was singing about and that scared her more than she cared to admit. The lyrics were probably Italian, since that had been the theme of the day. Chloe found herself thinking back at the last few hours.
They had had a lighthearted evening after closing the latest case. Lucifer had insisted that Chloe went to his penthouse, because he was in the mood of cooking some delicious Italian pasta. She was not instantly convinced, after having to deal with a murder in an Italian restaurant, in which one of the cooks had been murdered by a jealous colleague. She had tried to insist that she wanted to spend time with her daughter, but her partner had pointed out that she was, indeed, on a camping trip with her school. The detective had been impressed that he remembered. Exhausted and running out of excuses, she had accepted the invitation. It wasn't the first time. In the last month or so, they had spent more and more time together. Before Vegas, they had flirted and danced around each other, but had never shared much of their life outside of work. Lately, on the other hand, they would eat together, occasionally watch a movie and sometimes a falsely reticent Lucifer would even play board games with the Decker ladies. Neither of them was trying to venture beyond friendship and that allowed them to relax in each other company. They didn't feel the need to address the new developments and simply enjoyed the moments they could share.
While Lucifer cooked, they both sipped on a glass of his very expensive wine. Chloe didn't know if the inebriation she felt was caused by the alcohol or by laughing with her partner. Lucifer also struggled to keep up with the cooking, fumbling with the shiny, expensive utensils and ingredients coming out of his silver cabinets. He was too distracted by a carefree and flushed Chloe on the stool directly in front of him and there wasn't much he could do about it.
"Are you enjoying your glass of wine, Detective?"
"I am, indeed. I've never tasted anything quite like this."
"That's Tenuta dell'Ornellaia 'Ornellaia' Vendemmia d'Artista Special for you."
"Sounds expensive."
"Only the best for the best detective in LA. Consider it a thank you for keeping the city in order."
Chloe unwillingly blushed and tried to hide it with a hand running down her neck. One second he was joking, and the next Lucifer could come up with spontaneous and sweet words like those. They always left Chloe unable to reply coherently. She wasn't sure that he realized how he sounded and that made him even more compelling.
"See, I'm not cheap. I can't believe you dared to say something like this. Unbelievable." Lucifer muttered while stirring the sauce a bit more vehemently than necessary.
"I was just pretending, for the case. I thought you liked playing undercover." Chloe bit her lower right corner of her lips, trying to restrain from smirking as she remembered enjoying the sight of a flustered and uncomfortable Lucifer in the jewelry shop.
"I like playing under covers alright, as you know." His answer was automatic, but his thoughts wandered to the memory of hearing her say that they were engaged. He had never in his long existence entertained such a thought, marriage being an archaic institution set up by his Father; nonetheless, his heart had beaten slightly faster when she uttered those words, not too dissimilar to when she had kissed him or hugged him before. But he interrupted this dangerous and uncomfortable line of thoughts and focused on the preparation of his ragù. He tasted it with a spoon and decided to add a pinch of salt and chili to enhance the sweet taste of the boiling tomato sauce. Then, he started to pick things up from the drawers to set up the table.
"Let me help you. You're doing the cooking." Chloe stood up to help him, but also to avoid getting too caught up in staring at Lucifer at the stove.
"You really don't need to, Detective. But, if you want. You know where everything is." Lucifer made to move away from the space where she would pick the items up. "You also know how to turn the speakers on, don't you, darling?"
Chloe did indeed know how to move around his kitchen and his penthouse. She had never questioned it before, it had just made sense. Lucifer had left her complete freedom to go around the house and, almost since the beginning, he had given notice to always let her up without questions. This thought stirred a feeling in her that she wasn't sure she liked. While caught in her thoughts, she had finished laying napkins, glasses and cutlery on the small table on the balcony, the one from which they would have the best view of L.A.. Chloe spaced out again while thinking of their first "date", with burgers and fries on that very balcony. Just as she finished putting up some music, Lucifer appeared outside with a perfect pot of rigatoni in ragù sauce. Chloe peaked at it and the smoke coming from the past smelled divinely. Of course Lucifer would cook a perfect dish. She felt a pang of jealousy for the fact that she wasn't such a talented cook. She could get by and always tried her best, especially for Trixie, but it was nothing special.
"Maybe we should sit and eat right away. The pot may get the wrong idea and get too excited if you keep on looking at it this way." Lucifer announced with a malicious and amused smirk. Chloe pinched Lucifer in the side and he responded with an overly dramatic "ouch".
The dinner went by smoothly. They ate the pasta in small bites, so that the enjoyable moment wouldn't be over too soon. They shared the bottle of wine, which, contrary to the food, was over way too quickly. The warmth produced by the alcohol contrasted nicely with the fresh nightly air of the city. More than once chills ran down Chloe's back, a mixture of fun, booze and cold. She didn't really mind it, but Lucifer, being his usual self, went to retrieve a blanket from his bedroom so that she could warm up. She put it around her shoulders and cozied up in the armchair on the balcony, while Lucifer took a seat beside her. Their conversation faded into silence, a new development in their interaction. As they had spent more and more time together, they had learnt to enjoy the other's company without filling every moment with words. If that could be expected from Chloe, it was definitely a new skill for Lucifer.
Their thoughts wandered to the day and to each other. Lucifer felt grateful for the opportunity to be this close to Chloe. He had talked about it with Linda, because relationships had never been his thing and this was all new to him. The doctor had told him to just follow his gut and to pay attention to the Detective's needs and feelings, and that all would be fine. He had complied and began to love how things had changed. The secret he kept from her still lurked and made it impossible for him to fully relax and give himself to her, but he had been making progress.
Chloe sipped at her glass of wine and half hid her face under the grey comforter that she thought smelled of Lucifer. She tried to subtly take a look at her partner. He was immersed in his thoughts and looked almost serene. Definitely less troubled than he had been before. She still wondered what it was that he kept so rigorously hidden from her. She had given up asking or trying to bring the words out of her partner. Nothing had worked. Hence, Chloe had decided to just be there for him and enjoy his company. Moments like that were the best part of her days, together with the time spent with Trixie, who was growing up too fast for the Detective's liking, and desired more time by herself and with her friends.
"I would like to play something at the piano. Care to join me Detective?" Chloe was deep in her thoughts and hadn't really heard him. "Don't worry. I know very well that you don't play. But just sit by my side, would you?"
Chloe slowly stood up with the help of the armchair handles. The home cooked meal had induced a slight sleepiness and she stretched her arms to fight it. Then she folded the blanket and offered her hand to Lucifer. He picked up their mostly empty glasses of wine and followed Chloe to the piano. While she took a seat and took yet another look at the shining instrument, that for the most part remained a fascinating mystery for her, Lucifer put the wineglasses away and poured two shots of whiskey, their drink of choice while at the piano.
"È notte alta e sono sveglio
e mi rivesto e mi rispoglio
mi fa smaniare questa voglia
che prima o poi farò lo sbaglio
di fare il pazzo venir sotto casa
tirare sassi alla finestra accesa
prendere a calci la tua porta chiusa, chiusa...
Ancora...
ancora…
ancora…
perché io da quella sera
non ho fatto più l'amore senza te
e non me ne frega niente senza te
anche se incontrassi un angelo direi
non mi fai volare in alto quanto lei"
Now Chloe was almost sure that it was a love song. She knew that he had her on his mind, he was not as good as he thought at masking his feelings. Then why had he run away and decided that he didn't wanted to be with her anymore? It had made no sense at the time and it didn't make sense now.
"Why did you leave me?"
It was barely a whisper, but there was no doubt that Lucifer had heard her. He smoothly played the final notes of the song, the music fading in the spacious and empty room. Lucifer kept on staring in front of him, resignation painted on his face. He took the glass in front of him and swallowed the alcohol.
"I told you already."
"Only that you actually didn't. You talk about showing it, them, whatever to me, I don't even know what. Then you back away." Chloe blurted the words in one breath. Then took another to calm down and looked down at the white and black keys.
"I'm tired." Her voice broke at the admission, betraying how much it hurt her to be left out, not to understand.
Chloe turned and looked at Lucifer expectantly. He was still staring into the space in front of him. Apparently, he didn't plan to answer any time soon. After a few moments, Chloe sighed loudly, shook her had and breathed out a "Fine." , then stood up to leave before the tears would get a hold of her. She was halfway standing when Lucifer's hand took hers. He had turned and they were looking into each other's eyes, all their individual pain out in the space between the two of them.
"Stay."