Roxas finds standing in front of a car to be a very dramatic way to die.
He's given up on life. Every attempt he's made at escaping this curse has failed.
There's a lesson he's meant to learn, somewhere in the fate that throws him together with green-eyed Axel over and over again.
They have been everything these many long years; brothers, lovers, friends, enemies. They have been cruel, they have been tender, they have fought, and they have been silent and frustrated in their unspoken love.
It is a curse, to watch the way they are always destroyed by this bond of theirs.
"A poison," Roxas tells Axel in the dark as they are nestled comfortably together. Roxas feels viciously unamused by fate.
Axel strokes his hair, has always loved his golden hair, has always loved his piercing blue eyes. Roxas hides it behind his scowls, but he loves Axel's mess of red hair and he loves Axel's laughing green eyes.
"We all choose them," Axel replies, his breathing steady and content. He hasn't always been that way. This cyclical redundancy had once tormented him deeply, but he's learned a thing or two since then.
"That's the point, we don't have a choice."
Axel smiles. "I love your rebellious streak."
Roxas glowers at him, but he loves Axel's flattery. The feeling irritates him.
"Shut up," he says absentmindedly. "I once thought if I lived my life in happiness that was all I had to do and I would never have to endure this again. It's been a long time since then, and the world has always conspired to force us to destroy each other."
"We've been fools, maybe we still are."
Roxas glances up at what may be a sky. "I've lost track of Sora. I see him in the mirror sometimes, but I think he might have done something really heroic a long time ago… and moved on."
They've been to so many worlds since then, but they've met so many Gods and so many Heroes who have found their place among the stars.
Axel sighs, he had been enjoying this time together, but Roxas is right. They've tried this so many times; there are no secrets left to divine in one another's souls. They've experienced each other in every light. It's been such a long time.
"I'm tired of fighting for it, Roxas," Axel decides. Surges of heroism have killed him as often as greed. There is always so much sincerity in the act. He's died immolated too many times for it to be mere coincidence.
Roxas falls silent. To stop struggling has never been an option.
"I'm tired of fighting too," Roxas murmurs. The worlds have been a maze of darkness, all the evils of every heart conspiring against this unbreakable bond that someone forged between them. Roxas has tried so hard to break that bond, but even when he dies by his own hands… his relationship with Axel has driven him to destruction.
He has watched Axel die immolated too many times to not feel the stabbing pain in his fledgling heart. There must be something still uncultivated in it, for here is in this new life.
"I know we've tried before to just live a happy life," Axel murmurs. "I remember. It was always something, killed by each other's hands... just, too often. I wish it meant something that I still love you despite that."
"I do too." The sun is rising; Roxas closes his eyes gently against the sudden flood of color. He settles back against Axel comfortably.
The next day, while they're feeling content and happy, enjoying time together out on the town, Roxas steps out in front of a car. The pain is just too much; he can't look at Axel's trusting face any longer.
Axel shoves him aside, and dies right there.
Roxas has seen this too many times to react to it any longer.
There have been times when he has hated Axel for his half in fulfilling this curse, but he has come to love him over time.
"Sometimes I go on without you," Roxas says, leaning on his elbows from where he is sprawled on the concrete. He looks up at the sun. "But I can't forget you, it's miserable and I die from your haunting."
"It's a witches' love," Axel remarks when Roxas relays this to him later. "Burning from the same dark star."
Roxas glances at him and shakes his head. "It's a cruel joke."
Axel bends down and kisses his cheek. In another time he might have raised up furiously against fate with him. Not so often, Axel is tired; they both are.
"My soul is stitched to yours, just like bad voodoo."
Roxas hopes that one day, he'll finally have put things to right. For now, one day he rolls over on top of Axel and kisses him in the sunlight. The freshly shorn grass is fragrant and the river flows in a soothing white rush.
"I love everything you do," Roxas admits. A butterfly lands very close by them but is scared off in the rustle as Roxas pulls his shirt over his head.
The breeze is warm and Axel's mouth is gentle.
نهاية
Standard Disclaimers.