1960
Mid-Atlantic
"They told me… 'Son, you're special. You were born to do great things.' You know what? They were right."
Suddenly, our generic faceless hero was shook by the plane's turbulence. Before he knew it, he was swimming for his life in the middle of the ocean. Everyone else was dead. But that didn't matter, since they weren't born to do great things!
Oddly enough, the plane crashed near a strange tower of sorts. The hero, shivering and coughing from the cold water, decided to take his chances inside this mysterious building. The interior wasn't much, just a statue of some ugly guy's face and an elevator. He thought the elevator would take him up due to the tower's height, but instead it took him down into the ocean again. While he went deeper, the elevator came with a movie to pass the time.
"I AM ANDREW RYAN" the movie screamed. "and I am here to ask you a question; is a man not entitled to the sweat of his brow? No, says the man in Washington, it belongs to the rich. No, says the man in the Vatican, it belongs to Satan. No, says the man in Moscow, and then I couldn't understand the rest because I don't speak Russian. I rejected those answers. Instead, I chose something different… I chose the impossible… I chose… RAPTURE!"
Then the elevator crashed into a city that underwater for some stupid reason. As our hero came out from the wreckage, he quickly encountered one of the occupants of this badly placed metropolis.
"Don't touch my car keys!" the Splicer exclaimed as it waved a pistol in the air.
The hero gasped upon the sight of this stranger. "Oh no! It's an ugly looking psychotic!"
The Splicer suddenly stopped. "Dude, that was so uncalled for." The Splicer then left to find someone less rude.
Our generic hero decides to explore this unique place. Just then, I got writer's block. So I'll just skip to the part where he takes EVE from a Little Sister.
"You can't kill me!" cried the Little Sister. "I'm just an innocent child!"
The supposed hero laughed. "Foolish girl, this is a video game! No one has morality when playing video games!" And then he molested the Little Sister until a slug came out.
With his Plasmid powers increased, our protagonist burst through some doors to go face-to-face with the leader of this corrupted city.
The leader shouted "I AM ANDREW RYAN! And you just made me fuck up my mini-golf game, you bastard!
"Your game should be the least of your worries" threatens the hero. "I came here to kill you!"
"There is something you should know, Jack" Andrew said to the hero, who is named Jack. "Your past was a illusion. I am really your father and I sent you here to kill you!"
Jack proclaimed "WTF? This plot doesn't make any fucking sense. I mean, who the hell would be retarded live in the fucking ocean? And this the sixties, robots and that sci-fi crap shouldn't exist yet! Then there's all these Plasmids and I'M the only one that uses them. I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!" He put the barrel of his gun into his mouth and pulled trigger…
The hacker from System Shock woke up in cold sweat. He looked at his surroundings and gave a sigh of relief. Sure, he was currently trapped in a space station filled with bloodthirsty mutants, but at least it was in outer space and in the future.
"Did you have that dream again?" asked a corrupt A.I. called Shodan.
The hacker nodded and suddenly cried. "This time my partner was a GUY!"