After a good earful from a furious teacher whose age should never be brought up, Hachiman found himself walking all by himself towards the Service Club.
Not that he complained about the matter, it was in fact quite a nice change that he was alone. His sense of hearing was still a bit hurt after his ordeal with his homeroom teacher so Yui's nonstop chatter would have been twice as much of a pain.
Reaching for the handle, a sudden chill ran down his spine that made him shiver. He stopped and looked to his left, then his right, only to find no one around. He could have sworn he felt someone's presence spying on him...
Finally deciding to disregard it as just the stress getting onto him, he slid the door open to find the girls already at their respective seats.
"Ya... Y-yahallo, Hikki." Came the voice of one girl, shaking as if nervous to speak to him.
"You're late Hikigaya-kun." Scolded another, the tone cold in contrast of the first's warm greeting. "And didn't I tell before that it's rude to not knock before entering?"
"Yeah, yeah. Sorry, mother." He replied in a half-assed manner, setting himself down his chair.
He grabbed today's novel from his bag, laid back on the chair's rest and flipped the pages open to where the bookmark was neatly pressed within. Yukino on cue then prepared their tea, handing each their own mugs filled with the hot beverage. He blew the liquid a few times before taking a small sip, that's when a realization occurred to the loner.
"...wait a minute."
His eyes moved towards his left, where the two other members were. There he saw the same scene, with Yui sitting between him and Yukino, who just sat down at the other end of the table. His movement caught the attention of the club president, whom looked up from her own novel to meet his eyes.
"What's the matter?" Asked Yukino, a slight blush streaking her face.
"...huh?"
"You're eyes are rotting again, Hikigaya-kun. Please spare us from being tainted by your gaze and look elsewhere." Yui said without even sparing a glance, busily fumbling with her phone as her face contorted in annoyance.
Hachiman blinked once, twice, then shook his head. He then stared at his distorted reflection within his mug of tea.
'Who the hell spiked my drink?'
Perhaps it was just the stress or the exhaustion from a long day at school that he began to mishear things. For a second there, he could've sworn that the two were acting strange-
"Is something wrong with the tea Hikki? Does it taste weird?"
It was none other than Yukinoshita Yukino that had asked, concerned at how intently he was eyeing his drink. This time he was sure he wasn't mistaken, he clearly heard the words coming from her.
'But wait, what the hell is this? Why is she the one calling me "Hikki"?'
Wracking his brain he figured that there was only one explanation to it, and so with a chuckle he set down his mug and faced the two properly.
"Okay guys, I give. You two swapped personalities to mess with me, I get it. But quit it, it's really starting to creep me out..." The girls turned to each other, both looking quite confused at what Hachiman had just mentioned, which in turn confused him even more.
"What are you talking about Hikki? What do you mean by messing with you?"
"Like a prank, or whatever. Anyway, you guys did give me quite the shock so can you stop it now? Please?" Yui grunted and flipped her phone shut as she glared at Hachiman with a raised eyebrow.
"What 'prank' are you going on about, Hikigaya-kun? Why would we exchange personalities? This is who we are, what nonsense are you spouting? Has your rottenness affected your brain?"
The boy's eyes widened in disbelief at the two. This joke wasn't funny at all, and it was dragging on for far too long.
'But still, even if they are just acting the way Yui roleplayed the Ice Queen of Sobu High was too good...'
Deciding to play along to put an end to things and save the nightmares for later at night, Hachiman cleared his throat and sat up straight.
"Yukinoshita."
"Y-yes-!"
"Tell me, can you bake properly?"
"W-what are you asking!?" Yukino pouted, flailing her arms. "Y-you know I couldn't do that to save my life! You and Yuinon even helped me bake some cookies before! Meanie!" She stuck her tongue out at him before promptly crossing her arms and facing away with a harumph.
While it was along the lines of what he had expected out of her, that reaction was too much to bear that he knew Yukino should've died of embarrassment if she were forced to act that way.
Unless, she really wasn't acting...
"Are you seriously stupid? Do you not have a shred of survival instincts that you cannot remember the adverse effects of her baking? You failed at being human at a much larger scale than I've presumed..."
'Did Yukinoshita just call Yuigahama "Yuinon"? And why is Yuigahama being so mean, she's seriously pissing me off! What's next, Yukinoshita suddenly getting a huge rack?'
As one final effort, he took out his phone and browsed through his gallery to find a certain picture. Selecting it, he then showed the display to the girls.
"Hey Yukinoshita, look at this picture of Kamakura. Isn't he cute in catloaf form?"
"Uwaa, he totes is!" Yukino remarked while inspecting the image, only to be pushed aside as Yui leaned forward to take a closer look.
"H-Hikigaya-kun, please do send me that picture of your cat, as well as any more that you have in your phone. I require them for... research purposes..."
"...okay." He heaved a sigh, falling back to his chair with a slump while selecting the images he had to send to Yui.
"Ah, that's right." The pink-haired girl went to her bag and rummaged through her belongings, producing a pouch in her hands. Laying it on the table and untying the string that held it shut, it opened to reveal several cookies that gave off a deliciously sweet aroma. "I nearly forgot, I tried baking some cookies but ended up making too many, so please."
At that point, Hachiman stared at the delicacies that laid before him. As he began to broke into a sweat, he realized that he actually did have survival instincts.
That aside, it was the dreaded... "Yui's cookies." He remembered how severe it made his stomach upset that he could barely move. Yukino on the other hand, failed to see the danger hidden within the "food" as she reached for one and happily took a bite.
"Mm~ It tastes great! As expected of Yuinon!" She squealed in delight, continuing to finish her cookie. Seeing that Yukino hadn't fainted or began vomitting, he himself took one and, after saying his prayers, bit onto it...
"..."
He slowly chewed a few times before he swallowed, never finding anything odd with its taste nor appearance. In fact it was good, too good that it was making him feel dizzy just thinking about it. This was certainly not good for the fabric of space-time.
"Ugh..." He groaned, holding his head as a headache started to throb. Struggling to keep himself on his feet, he put away his book and slung his bag onto his shoulder. "I-I gotta go... I am having a really bad migraine right now..."
He made his way to the door, but his vision was slowly fading to black. When he finally couldn't see anything anymore, he felt his legs gave away as his body fell down on the floor.
...
"AHH!"
Hachiman woke up with a start, looking around to find himself alone in the classroom. He checked the time, it was already after classes and no one had bothered to wake him up.
'Thank god it was all just a dream...'
He made his way to the Service Club, all the while thinking of an alibi he could use against Yukino in case she inquires about his tardiness. Reaching the club room he was about to slide the door open when he remembered his dream.
He knocked thrice first, giving Yukino the chance to say "come in" before actually letting himself inside.
"Ya... Y-yahallo, Hikki." Yukino greeted, with the same blushing face as before.
He then stopped at that and froze in place, his bag slowly sliding off his shoulder.
"You're late Hikigaya-kun. But at least you remembered to knock this time." Yui followed, a bit irate.
Hachiman's eyes moved from one girl to the other, back and forth, never saying a word.
He then came to the conclusion that he had officially "lost his shit."
AN
HELLO! THIS IS TGWW AND WELCOME TO JACK*ASS! NOW GIVE ME LOLIS!
Ah-!
I messed up... G-greetings! As you know (or maybe not, so I'm saying it right now), I have been solely betareading for a while.
And by "a while", I meant four months.
Maybe you're curious why I haven't posted anything for TSAY, nor that incest one-shot. Or maybe you haven't heard of me before, and are just finding out about me now lol. Either way, the answer to that is simple: my fucking work. I have been very busy since then until now due to work, and while it may sound like an excuse for me being lazy, it's not. I think. No wait, I've decided it isn't.
But I WILL update that. As for when, that's the question. But hey, I've written down what I want to happen for Chapter 8, all that's left is to actually write it in story form. As for the incest fic, I haven't finished it yet because I'm not confident in writing smut (yes, I plan to write that as a smut fic). There's a new Hachiman x yandere!Komachi out there, I heard it's good so if you're aching to sate your lust then do check that out. Thanks for reading my rambling, see you next time (hopefully at my update!)
Pewds here! So this is are colab a collection of stories were the cast of Yahari got their personalities switched, we started of with the bubbly Yuigahama and the flat ice queen Yukino I was the one in charge of the first chapter and TGWW and I brainstormed some ideas that we wanted to put into this first chapter. Next chapter TGWR is in charge and he will choose who will switch personalities so look forward to it, so just sit back and emjoy. Follow or Favorite and leave some reviews if you like.
Characters switched:
1. Yuigahama & Yukino
2. ?