Leave of Absence

'Please don't say a word of it to the Captain.' She begged breathlessly, staring at Elsa with pleading eyes. Her voice was thick with poignant tribulation, a tone she never thought she could ever identify as her own.

Elsa Shraeder gleamed back at her with a sparkly smoothness and enthusiasm; 'no, I wouldn't dream of it.'

Maria was too busy with her own affliction that the way the Baroness sounded a little too pleased with herself escaped her. Leaving her with increased distress, she sauntered out of the room as suavely as she had walked in. Maria heard the door close like thunder amongst the silent darkness; the sound was ominous enough, but the person who had just closed it had made her feel even more intimidated. She could feel her heart beat relentlessly faster than it previously had, the only source of noise she could hear in the room. Then all at once, Maria folded, clutching a handmade dress with immovable fingers and leaning over it in a state of despair. She didn't want to leave; it was the last thing she wanted, but she had to. If everything the Baroness had said was true, then Maria needed to waste no more time in getting away from this place. This extensive mansion, that had charmed and glittered at her with all of the promise of becoming a firm staple for the next few months. A place which had dazzled her since her arrival, slowly becoming synonymous with the happiness she felt at being with the children...and the Captain. The Captain, she thought despondently, squeezing her eyes shut as if it would block out the images in her mind or the echoing sounds of his voice in her ear. Her head fell further, trying to banish the pictures from her brain, the looks he had given her in those rare, hallowed moments. She didn't know how to think, or to feel; she didn't know if the ache in her heart was love or simply admiration and respect, but she did know that it felt like it was splitting violently in two, like half of it was her life at the Abbey and her devotion to God and the other...her life at the von Trapp villa. Maria never thought that a predicament or decision could ever be as complicated as the one presented to her now, and she grasped at the chain around her neck, seeking emotional support and guidance. But although her fingers held the cross tightly and wilfully, her thoughts deviated still to their conversation about the Captain. Pondering shamelessly on those memorable, brooding eyes, tears started to slip from underneath her eyelids and travel down her cheeks uncontrollably. Oh, how she hated to feel like this; her hands lowered to her chest as if she were trying to stop her heart from hurting so much. Taking deep breaths, she finally dared to open her eyes again, observing tear stained splotches on the dress under her and immediately throwing it into her bag. Maria rarely cried, and rarely ever had, but this felt as if she had carried the weight of it for months on end. Searching for a handkerchief or tissue, she dabbed at her eyes and wiped the wetness away, reminding herself sharply that she was still in her undergarments. Turning back to her wardrobe, she glimpsed the dress deemed too 'ugly' by the Captain and retrieved it from the hanger. Maria had not worn her travelling clothes since she had been given new material, and now longed for the familiarity and blind optimism she had felt so brilliantly on the day of her arrival. Changing quickly into the dress and producing her round hat, she wasted no time in packing all her belongings into her bag. Maria knew that she needed to disappear quickly since people would start to come looking, and she highly doubted she could stand being in the same room as Captain von Trapp again, especially if speaking to him about leaving. No, she needed to go tonight, run back to the Abbey and it's four walls of heavenly safety and security; sheltered irrevocably from the outside world of serious feelings and relationships and being governess. Zipping up her bag, she sought after her guitar, looking down on it and remembering how she taught the children to sing; reluctantly, she put it in it's black case and rested it against the wall.

'Whats so nice is, he thinks he's in love with you.'

The words resounded in her head as she stared at the guitar case, knowing that she couldn't leave at least without apologising and saying goodbye. Her eyes spotted paper on a desk, taking it in her hands hoping as though it already had the words she would say written on it. At a complete loss, she decided to start by addressing the Captain, thanking him for letting her stay at the villa. Maria hesitated then, wanting so much to confess to him privately in the letter of the situation, but was completely unable to. Instead, she wrote about the children; how much she would miss them, how grateful she was to have stayed with such generous people, making it seem like the only reason for her departure was a longing for the Abbey and her previous life as a postulant. Maria felt that, in her heart, part of that was true. She felt resolute in the fact that she had to leave, if only just to escape from any future prospect of interacting with the Captain. She knew it was selfishness on her part to the children; yet she couldn't stay knowing what she knew. Maria sighed off the note, emphasising once more that she was sorry to leave them so suddenly. Then, she slipped it into her pocket, and picked up her bag and guitar case. Throwing a last, sorrowful look at her room, she opened the door and shut it without turning back. Creeping past the children's bedrooms, she stopped for a moment simply to smile sadly and pray for their future happiness. Glancing down to the entrance of the house, she didn't see a single person; her ears caught the sound of the beautiful, swelling music and concluded that everyone was dancing a waltz. Maria thought of the Captain, dancing with Elsa Shraeder like he had done with her only minutes ago. Lightly running down the stairs, she checked that the Captain wasn't anywhere in sight, and then placed the letter on a table. Rushing up to the front door, the melody of the waltz overwhelming her with emotion, she took one last look at the grand mansion, then slipped out quietly and unseen into the night.

The orchestra had played out their last bittersweet and pleasing note, drawing out the moment for the final bow and curtesy. The Captain's eyes followed the hands on the clock with surprise and realised that Maria had not resurfaced for dinner since the beginning of the second long waltz. Averting his gaze quickly back to his partner, he smiled at her respectfully and straightened up from his bow. Taking Elsa's arm, he searched around in earnest for the familiar crown of blonde hair and flowing dress, but his eyes never reached them. He could feel the weight of Elsa's arm take hold of him and quickly he made eye contact, smiling half heartedly once more.

'I think it's time for dinner, isn't it?' He said smoothly, again glimpsing at the clock.

'It must be, the waltz has made me gain an appetite.' Elsa said, laughing. Georg repeated the gesture, still half searching for Maria. He personally didn't think that she needed too much time to deliberate on what to wear for dinner; he knew that whatever she wore, it would make her stand out regardless. He blushed a little at the thought, his skin turning slightly redder and hotter; he grabbed a glass from a tray and swigged from it, hoping that it would calm his temperature and colour. Spotting Max across the dance floor, ruthlessly holding a cigar in one hand and a glass of champagne in the other, he steered the two of them in his direction. Georg noticed however, that Maria was not standing around with him.

'Max!' He called, watching him turn with a comedic concern; 'now, Georg, when is this feast to start, I'm starving, you know.'

'I was rather hoping you could tell me,' he replied, 'as you requested Maria at the dinner table.'

'I expect she doesn't know what to wear in such an occasion as this, although it has been a long time since she went up there. I haven't seen her since.'

Georg just noticed Max's eyes flicking to Elsa and exchanging some foreign look before it was gone in a second; although, it caused to make him suspicious.

'Well, someone should look for her and tell her we are serving dinner now,' He said, 'Max, you alert the guests and Franz.'

'I'll go find Maria, Georg, and tell her.' Elsa suggested.

'No,' he cut in, 'I'll do it.' He responded, plucking her arm from his and strolling away. There was some sort of satisfaction in her tone that made Georg wary; as he shuffled his way along numerous guests and out of the crowded room, he tried again to spot Maria but her face didn't appear. Turning away from the source of the commotion, he was about to take the stairs when something out of place caught his eye; staring at it and trying to discern why it was there, he advanced over to a table that sat a folded note he was certain could not have been there a few hours ago. Intrigued, he picked it up and gently unfolded it, his eyes turning quickly from innocent and curious to hard and solemn. When he saw his name in the unfamiliar script he could only guess that it was Maria's; and an initial amusement at how neat and perfect her handwriting was soon turned to concern at the perusal of its subject. His jaw set in place, his mouth became rigid and unmoving as he read on, his eyes becoming as emotionless as stone. Yet his chest felt tighter and his heart beat faster, and his unexpected trembling hand dropped the piece of paper to the floor once he read her signature. He stood, transfixed for just a second, trying to process the contents of the letter. Maria had left, had left him and the children, for her life at the Abbey. Almost immediately after, he sprung into action and disappeared through a door to his study, needing to be a alone just for a minute. He had heard vaguely the call of his name from Elsa, until he had walked away from her and the whole party. Although it said in her letter that she missed her life as a postulant, the Captain still wondered if he had done her any wrong to make her leave; although she ultimately would leave to go back to the Abbey, that day wasn't to come just yet. Georg felt baffled at the unexpectedness of her departure, again considering if there was another reason for her absence. However bad he felt, he knew the children would be practically distraught over it; he hated the fact that their faces might become grieved and downcast knowing their favourite governess had left them. His hands came up to his eye and partly concealed his face, unable to interpret any emotion he felt coherently. He simply didn't know how he felt, or what to think. It was certainly out of Maria's bright and sunny character, although Georg had to remind himself that he had known her not long himself. Now, the party made him feel powerless and cheerless, the music made him feel frustrated, the company he was holding made him feel spiritless and bored, and he had just lost his appetite. Maria's face seemed to haunt his mind and he couldn't get rid of it, as much as he tried. He had never felt so disappointed by the departure of one of his governesses before, additionally never had he felt so contented and happy with one of them than Maria made him feel. His hands supported his weight as he perched his fists on the table, his head dropping for a moment to analyse his situation. He realised he should probably call for another governess but the rapidly increasing sentimental side of him refused to do so in the hopes Maria would come back. Georg realised then that she had made more of a profound and unprecedented impact than he'd thought; not just on his children, but remarkably on himself. Suddenly, the door opened, and Georg composed himself in a split second, resuming his usual decorum. He relaxed only a little when he realised it was Elsa, his shoulders slacking and his chest deflating.

'I wondered where you'd got to,' she said genially, 'everyone's seated at dinner, waiting for you.'

He nodded, 'I didn't intend on being gone so long.'

Elsa's eyes wandered round his study and then back on him, 'I take it you didn't find Maria? I didn't think she would be in here anyway, Georg,' she laughed, 'Or is she hiding under that desk?'

'I needed some time...alone.' He said.

'Didn't you find her anywhere?' She asked, her face looking concerned although her voice lacking it.

'No.' He said, not wishing to elaborate.

'Could it be anything to do with this?' She asked, holding up a piece of folded paper. Georg's eyes instantly lit up at the letter.

'I found it on the floor when you were walking away.'

Georg couldn't say anything, his words stuck in his throat.

Elsa unfolded the paper and skimmed the contents carelessly, looking up again at him in a matter of milliseconds.

'She's left.' She said, her voice sounding faux shocked.

'Yes.' He admitted, now feeling uncomfortable.

'Well, that's terrible! She obviously missed her life at the Abbey too much.'

'Indeed.' He said stonily.

'So, what will you do now?' She asked, discarding the note and stepping closer to his desk.

'Well, I think maybe I'll just get another governess,' he said, his eyes then settling on Elsa's, smirking, 'or, maybe I should give them a new mother...' His eyes sparkled, and he saw the delight in her face as he quickly rounded the desk to stand in front of her. Kneeling to the floor, he took her hands and asked her to marry him.

'oh my,' she gleamed, her lips a pleased smile, 'of course I will, Georg. I would be delighted to.'

Georg straightened up grinning and hugged her, grateful for her infallible presence.

'Now, I think we should return to the guests and to dinner. They've all been waiting,' she laughed, leading him out of his study.

'Do you want to make the announcement...or should I?' She grinned, watching him just as Georg's eyes stared back at the table he had found Maria's letter as they passed.

'You can, of course.' He replied.

Rejoining the many ravenous and disturbed guests, he sat down at his seat and marvelled as Elsa prodigiously told everyone why they had been so late; Georg chuckled and accepted congratulations, but as they raised glasses for a toast he noticed the empty place set for Maria and he entered into a trance, thinking about her and if she were here. If she was, he had no doubt she would be discussing the children's affairs and progress in singing animatedly, her innocent humour pleasing the crowd and describing her life at Nonnberg Abbey. He smiled at the vision in his head, until it disappeared at the image of the deserted seat. Georg broke out of his reverie when Elsa lightly shook his shoulder, whilst laughing gaily with her friends; and he too wasn't short on company, although his eyes met the vacant chair a few times during the night.