Sigh.

Could things get any more boring?

Dipper rested upon his creaky summer bed in the Mystery shack, sprawling out on the thin sheets, tiny beads of sweat trickling down his face. It was extremely hot (for Oregon, that was). But being overheated is only worse when you're bored.

And Dipper was bored.

There had been literally no mysteries in the past three months. He had been residing in the Gravity Falls area for approximately two years now, and the town's share of secrets have come and gone, along with most of the drama that started the adventure in the first place. Gideon was in some juvenile facility, Pacifica was studying abroad in Russia, of all places- he guessed her parents weren't too fond of her either. A few others had left, but of those that remained, there was Wendy, Soos, Grunkle Stan, Mabel (obviously), Mabel's annoyingly faithful friends, and Robbie, who chose to spend his time in the vicinity of the Mystery Shack instead of do something useful with his life.

On top of all that, tourism was slow, and there was no plot by Mabel to woo post-pubescent boys.

So yes, he was extremely bored.

"Ughhh," he groaned aloud. "I wish I had something to do."

Conviently, he spotted his makeshift bookshelf.

Grinning, he hopped over and paged through each selection, only to find he had read every single book there.

Twice.

"This is hopeless," he noted, at this point even considering to read some of Mabel's journal's for not-so-intelligent entertainment. "The nearest library isn't for another 30 miles or so, and there's nothing good on TV anymore."

There probably wasn't anything good on his bookshelf anymore either. Old mystery book after mystery book after mystery book after mystery book. And then there's Mabel's imported PopTeen magazines, which he wasn't ready to admit he paged through -okay, READ a couple dozen times. Now he knew far too much about foreign boy bands and cute fashion than he ever needed to know.

"I need new reading material."

And that gave him an excellent idea.

"Okay, listen up!"

Dipper stormed down the steps with confidence and stood directly in front of the TV until all its viewers gave their attention.

Sort of.

"Hey, what's the deal, Dipper? Some of us are trying to see which man Katy will end up with," Wendy questioned, annoyed.

"Will she pick Jon? or will she pick Tomas?" Mabel swerved her upper body around to see the screen her brother was blocking. "I have to know!"

"Pshht, she's obviously gonna pick Jon. I mean, c'mon, handsome rich boy from the South? It's pretty predictable," Robbie added knowingly.

"Will you please cut it with your overrated bachelorette reality shows and listen to me?" said the feisty brunette with the pine hat. "Listen, as you all know, I am very bored lately."

Annoyed moans erupted from the couch dwellers.

"So I request each of you, and possibly your friends, Mabel, find me a book or some other form of reading material I haven't read and would like."

"Are you serious?" Grunkle Stan was disgruntled and confused. "THIS is what you're interrupting our show for?"

"Please?" Dipper begged, "I'm STARVED for intelligent literature!"

"What makes you think we know any 'intelligent literature'," Robbie replied sarcastically.

"Well of course, I didn't expect YOU to know of anything intelligent," Dipper mocked him.

"I'M not the one who bothers people for some dumb request!"

"If you don't want to, I'll kick you out," the younger teen threatened, now in Robbie's face.

"Oh yeah, like you tried to do three times already?"

"I mean it."

Dipper narrowed his eyes at him in such a way that Robbie understood he better pay up for time spent with his worst enemy. Was that even their relationship anymore? They had sort of tolerated each other for a considerable period of time.

Mabel mumbled something under her breath. Wendy giggled along with her, but we'll just assume it wasn't meant for polite company and move on.

"Fine. I think I have a book you might like anyways."

Wendy pondered for a minute. "Well, there might be some book of mine you might enjoy..."

"We'll each give you reading material," Mabel stated, "on one condition."

"What condition is that?"

"LET US FINISH WATCHING OUR SHOW!"

Dipper scrammed after that. As it turns out, Katy chose Jon as her significant other.

"See? I told you!" Robbie boasted. " I am well in the way of romance."

The rest of the room stared at him.

"You've dated one person. And that was me," Wendy raised her eyebrows. "Who else could you possibly have dated?"

Silence flooded the room as a cliche romance took place on the bulky television set.