Hello readers :)
*SPOILERS AHEAD IF YOU HAVE NOT READ CATCHING FIRE OR MOCKINGJAY*
This chapter is a little on the shorter side, but I hope to make them a bit longer as the story progresses. This story takes place shortly after the Victory Tour, about two months before the Quell. I wanted to know what would happen if Peeta and Katniss had their wedding a little earlier, and how it would change things both with the revolution and their lives. This story will go on through Catching Fire and Mockingjay, as if Katniss and Peeta really were married as Peeta said in his interview before the Quell.
Obviously, I am not Suzanne Collins and I do not own any of these characters or ideas written in this story.
Let me know if you have any suggestions or concerns.
Constructive criticism is appreciated :)
I hope you enjoy!
It's raining when I wake up.
For a moment, I stay still, watching the drops of rain slide across the window and disappear. My nightmare replays through my head and I shudder. I feel Peeta rustle beside me, then mumble my name. I turn to look at him as his mumbles get louder and more urgent. He's having a nightmare. "Peeta," I sit up straight and shake his shoulder. "It's just a dream, wake up." His eyes fly open and latch on to mine, panic turning suddenly into relief. "Katniss." He whispers.
"I'm here. It's just a nightmare, it's okay." He squeezes his eyes shut and tries to steady his breathing. I stroke his cheek with my thumb and grab his hand. When he calms down, he opens his eyes.
"Do you want to talk about it?" I ask softly.
"Cato. He killed you, and made me watch." Peeta says. His face takes on a pained expression at the memory.
"I'm okay. We're safe." I say to him. He sits up and leans against the headboard. I move so that we are closer, keeping our fingers entwined. I lay my head on his shoulder. It's silent, for a moment.
"I don't think I can go back to sleep." He says.
"I can't either."
"Katniss," he says softly. "What are we going to do?"
At first, I don't understand what he's talking about. But then I realize he means the wedding. I forget that in less than three days, Peeta and I will be married.
"I don't know." I answer. Its true, I don't. I've never wanted to marry, let alone when I'm seventeen. "I'm so scared." I whisper after a few moments. Marriage does not guarentee my safety. It helps, sure, but after the initial fuss is over in a while, they're going to be bored. I can imagine what happens then.
The rest of my life, with Peeta. Forever. This is it, then. I marry Peeta, as Snow wants. I have his children, as Snow wants. I mentor tributes year after year, praying my children won't be reaped. Knowing deep down that it was going to happen. Horror. Fear. Every day of our lives.
I hate him for it.
The train rumbles for a second, then slowly screeches to a halt. "Are we here?" I ask. The sky is so dark from the rainclouds that it's nearly impossible to make out what time of day it is. We were supposed to reach the Capitol in the morning. I guess it's the morning.
Effie opens the door without knocking, dressed in a frilly purple dress that takes up the entire doorway. "Katniss! Up up up! You have ten min- oh," she says, noticing Peeta. "Peeta, you need to go to your room and get ready." Her tone is cautious.
Peeta kisses my forehead and starts putting on his prosthetic. It makes me sad watching him, knowing I'm partly responsible for his leg being gone.
Peeta rises and leaves the room quietly, squeezing past Effie's dress. When he's gone, she gives me a warning look. "Katniss. I understand that the two of you are engaged and to be married in a few days, but imagine what would happen if word got out."
"Sorry, Effie. We'll try to be more discreet." I answer dryly. But I hope word gets out. I hope it reaches Snow.
"You have ten minutes to get dressed, then come to breakfast. I'll discuss the rest of the day with both of you then."
She leaves, shutting the door behind her. I go to the dresser, and find a shirt and some pants. My hair is a mess so I brush it and braid it hastily, just so it stays out of my face until my stylists get a hold of me.
Peeta's not there when I get to the dining car. I take a seat at the end, across from Haymitch and start picking at my eggs. Peeta enters a moment later, and sits next to me wordlessly.
"Alright. So, after breakfast, we're to be transported to the Tribute Center. Although you aren't tributes this time around, it was assumed you would be most comfortable in an area you knew. There you will meet with your stylists. This afternoon, you'll do an interview with Caesar Flickerman, and then a dinner with some of your wedding planners to go over some things. Okay?" She grins at both of us.
I look at Peeta, who has hardly eaten anything. "Are you alright?" I ask quietly, so nobody else could hear. He doesn't reply, but grabs my hand from under the table. Effie starts going on about the wedding, but I don't pay attention. When she notices Peeta and I not eating, and Haymitch asleep, we're pushed out of the train and into a car that will take us to the Tribute Center.
Peeta doesn't talk the entire way. I watch the Captiol whirl by as we drive, trying to focus on the busy day ahead of me.
When we arrive, Peeta and I are separated into our own rooms to be styled for the interview. I'm waxed, plucked, and painted with makeup until deemed decent enough by Capitol standards. Cinna isn't here, and Venia tells me he's working hard on my dress so he won't be present until the morning of the wedding. Octavia talks about how excited she is for the wedding, and I tune her out until she asks me how many kids Peeta and I are planning on having. For a brief moment, I tense up, but force myself to relax. "We haven't really talked about it," I answer as calmly as I can. "We want to spend a while with just each other."
Octavia squeaks and starts rambling again. Flavius finishes up with my hair, which has been taken out of it's braid, curled, and pinned back with silver pins. I'm dressed in a loose blue dress that falls just short of my knees and is exactly the color of Peeta's eyes. It's comfortable. At least I don't have to walk around all day in a dress like Effie's.
Since the interview doesn't start for another hour or so, I'm dragged to lunch. My appetite has returned, and I eat everything on the plate, not even paying attention to what it is I'm eating. Peeta seems to have gained a bit of an appetite as well, but still isn't eating much. He seems to be in a bit better of a mood though. We eat in a hurry, then go for a walk around the Tribute Center. Since the Games aren't for another two months, the place is empty. It's nice being alone, not having cameras trained on us or Effie barking orders. We walk hand in hand, silent, for a while. We make it back to our floor just in time. Effie literally pushes us to the elevators. My stylists fix my makeup very quickly in the elevator, fluff my hair, smooth my dress. Then we're out of the building and greeted with more cameras. People yell, trying to get our attention, but we just smile and ignore them.
The stage is set up as it normally is, with one chair for Caesar and two chairs for Peeta and I.
I watch Caesar make his entrance from back stage. Then it's our turn to make an entrance. The second we walk on stage, people are screaming and cheering. I force a smile and wave, though inwardly I really just want to be in the forest back at home, alone.
I take a seat in the chair closest to Caesar. Peeta sits down, adjusting his prosthetic a little.
"Katniss, Peeta. Great to have you back so soon! How are you?"
"We're great." Peeta says. "Everything is wonderful." He gives me a smile that makes my heart flutter a little, though I know he's acting. He's not any happier about this than I am. I take his hand, partly for show, and partly because I need the support.
Caesar sighs happily. "You two are just so perfect together. Tell me, are you excited for the wedding?"
"Of course. It'll surely be the greatest day of my life, surrounded by so many loved ones and marrying Katniss. Although, I don't think being married is going to change much. I'll love her no matter what, and to us, we already feel married."
"Is it strange, knowing that without the Hunger Games you wouldn't be here today, sitting next to your fiancee?" This question bothers me.
"I think even without the Games to bring us closer, we would have ended up together anyways." I feel him glance at me, but I don't meet his gaze. I just want this interview to be over.
"So sweet. What are your plans after the wedding? Will you be going on a honeymoon?" Caesar asks, winking at us. In Twelve, we obviously don't do this. It's a Capitol tradition I knew nothing of until it was decided by Snow that we were to be married. And as far as I know, a honeymoon has been planned for us, but the location is being kept secret.
"Yes," Peeta says. "But we haven't yet decided where to spend our honeymoon."
"Somewhere romantic! No matter where you go, it's sure to be magical." He places his hand over his heart and smiles. "How are your families handling the marriage at such a young age?"
This question actually interests me. I know my mother wasn't very happy about it, when I broke the news to her. But she realizes I don't have a choice in the matter. I don't know how Peeta's family took the news.
"My family was very excited. They've always liked Katniss." Peeta says. I know this a lie. His mother despises me.
"Katniss?"
"My mother was very excited as well. And Prim loved helping me decide on a dress and plan the wedding." This is partially a lie too. My wedding was planned for me, but Prim really was excited.
"Will your families be present at the wedding?"
"Unfortunately, my mother can't make it. The bakery needs to be looked after, but she sent her love."
"My family is coming." I say. "They'll be here tomorrow, actually." This makes me smile.
"What about your cousins?" Caesar asks? It takes me a moment to realize he's talking about Gale and his family.
"Um, no. They can't make it either." I try to leave it there, drop the subject. I don't want to think about Gale watching my wedding with another man. I know it hurts him, and I just feel guilty.
"That's a shame. Well, at least the wedding will be televised so all of Panem can enjoy it!" Caesar says excitedly. This makes me feel sick.
"What are your plans for the future? Any possibility of children?" Caesar asks with a wink. There's that question again. Suddenly I don't feel well at all.
"Well, we haven't talked about it yet, but I'm sure when we're ready we'll consider it. We're only seventeen, I want to spend time with just each other."
This answer seems to be substantial enough for Caesar, who just starts gushing about how adorable our children would be. And how proud they would be knowing both of their parents are Victors.
When I feel like I'm about to vomit, the interview ends. We are hugged and thanked and brought backstage, where I run to the nearest bathroom and throw up everything I ate for lunch.
Peeta comes in after a few minutes, as I'm rinsing out my mouth with water from the sink. "Katniss, are you okay?" He asks gently. That's when the tears start.
I'm not okay. I'm more scared than I ever have been and I can't fix it. I'm going to live like this for the rest of my life.
Peeta holds me as I cry, whispering soothing things to me even though he knows I'm inconsolable. I can't afford to cry for much longer than a minute though, because soon enough we're going to be forced back in front of cameras and televised.
I manage to compose myself somewhat. I rinse off my face, taking off most of my makeup but I don't care. I just want to leave. We walk out of the bathroom hand in hand, luckily not seen by anyone. Effie finds us and she and Haymitch escort us to the car, which will take us to the place our wedding will be held.
I struggle fighting back my tears on the ride over. I can't do this. I can't.
We arrive a few minutes later at President Snow's mansion. Suddenly I feel the urge to vomit again. Peeta must sense this, because he holds my hand tighter. It's very difficult, but I calm down a bit, for him. We're lead to a massive rose garden in the back, so full of sickeningly sweet smelling roses that it takes everything in me not to scream right then and there. I feel light headed, and it's getting harder to breathe. That's when I faint.
When I wake up, it's dark outside and I'm in my bed at the Tribute Center. For a moment, I'm confused, but immediately remember what happened earlier. I have a headache, but it's dull enough that I can ignore it. I get out of bed and notice that I'm wearing pajamas. I pull on a robe to warm the chill that is spreading across my body and walk barefoot out of my room.
Everybody is at the table eating, and most of them gasp when they see me. Effie and Octavia rush over to me and start asking me millions of questions all at once.
"Hey calm down over there, leave the poor girl alone." Haymitch yells at them with a mouth full of food. As I take a seat next to Peeta, he watches me with concern. Peeta takes both of my hands in his. "Katniss." He whispers. But we both know we can't talk here.
I don't eat, but I sit with Peeta until he finishes his food. Then we dismiss ourselves to go to bed, and nobody says a word. As soon as we reach his room, Peeta pulls me into his arms and holds me tight. I bury my face in his chest and breathe, feeling the hysteria crawling it's way back again. We just hold each other for a long time until Peeta says "You scared me today."
"I'm sorry. I am." My eyes well up.
He wipes away the tear that escapes my eye with his thumb. "I felt so helpless. All I wanted to do was make it better but I couldn't." He whispers. "I hate him. I hate him so much for doing this to you. To us."
"I don't know what to do anymore. How to feel, how to act. I'm just scared."
"Me too. Katniss, when we get back home, after things die down a bit, we can make arrangements. You can still live with your family, and we'll just pretend for the cameras like always."
"No. We can't." I reply. And I don't want to. I need his support, as much as I don't want to admit it. "Peeta, after we're married...there's no going back to how things were. For the rest of our lives we are going to be his pieces in his games." I remember that night, nearly a year ago when Peeta first said that to me. Who would have guessed he was so right in ways he could never have imagined then. "All we can do is try to be happy. And at least we have each other." I say quietly. I suddenly don't feel like talking anymore, or I'll just start crying again.
"We need some sleep. Tomorrow is going to be another difficult day." Peeta says. He leads me over to the bed and climbs under the covers. I take off my robe and do the same, curling into his warmth and falling asleep almost instantly.