I'm not one for angst or tragedy, but when I heard this song, I had to write something with it. I'm mentally kicking myself for it, though...
Just A Dream
by Carrie Underwood
Karin Kurosaki had always been an impulsive decision maker. She'd married young, at the age eighteen, in fact. The thing was, she died before she turned eighteen.
She and a boy named Toushiro Hitsugaya had been dating since she was fifteen, and she couldn't have been more thrilled when he proposed. One more catch, he was dead.
Karin knew that being with a shinigami was risky business. Not just for the fact that it was illegal, but also because spirits could die again, but after that, they'd be gone forever. When she'd died, there was relief. They could be together legally.
It was two weeks after the day she turned eighteen
all dressed in white
going to the church that night
Karin had been restless all week. Her wedding had gone so smoothly, but she had a feeling that something bad was going to happen.
She had his box of letters in the passenger seat
sixpence in her shoe
something borrowed
something blue
(Start dream)
As Karin walked to the captains' meeting room, where her wedding was to be held, she reread the note she found from Toushiro.
Dear Karin,
I hope you're looking forward to this night as much as I am. The engagement was longer than I wished it to be. I hope that you realize the risk you are taking in marrying me. You know that if I go into battle, I may very well not come back. I have my duties to you, then my duties to the Gotei 13. You will always come first. I love you.
Your soon-to-be husband,
Toushiro Hitsugaya
She held the bouquet of blue flowers in her shaking hands. Toushiro was right about the chance of him dying on the battlefield. At captain's rank, he was supposedly able to hold his own, no matter what. But with the war with Aizen and the arrancar that had been going on since Karin was just a girl of eleven, she could never know.
And when the church doors
opened up wide
she put her veil down
trying to hide the tears
Karin put her veil down as the doors opened, but tears glided down her cheeks. Why, she didn't know. The scene wasn't what she had expected, and the flowers hit the ground.
People were weeping, giving comfort , and there was a coffin at the end of the isle.
Oh, she just couldn't believe it
She heard the trumpets from the military band
and the flowers fell out of her hand
Her eyes went wide. Her breath hitched. "No..."
Baby, why'd you leave me
why'd you have to go?
I was counting on forever
now I'll never know
I can't even breathe
She slowly walked to the end of the isle, her beautiful white dress turned black as she continued.
It's like I'm looking from a distance
standing in the background
Everybody's saying
He's not coming home now
This can't be happening to me
This is just a dream
She stopped in front of the casket and cried silently. She touched the wood and remembered all the times she and Toushiro had together.
The preacher man said
Let us bow our heads and pray
Lord please lift his soul
and heal this hurt
Then the congregation all stood up and sang
the saddest song
that she ever heard
Geryuusai Yamamoto stepped up on a pedestal. "We have come here today to honor the life and legacy of Hitsugaya Toushiro. He was a noble fighter and a good man. May his soul rest in peace."
Everyone there lowered their heads, murmuring last words of honor and grief.
Then they handed her a folded up flag
and she held on
to all she had left of him
Oh, and what could've been
Matsumoto stood up and walked over to Karin. She handed her Toushiro's sword, Hyourinmaru, in his sheath. A few tears slid down Matsumoto's face and she bowed slightly to Karin.
Karin grasped Hyourinmaru with all she had and burst into tears and sobs when she felt the sword vibrate against her body.
And then the guns rang
one last shot
And it felt like a bullet in her heart
(End dream)
Karin shot up from her lying position. There had been a knock at the door. She got out of her futon and pulled her sleeping yukata tighter to her, then opened the door.
Matsumoto was there with a very grim look. She handed a piece of paper to Karin. She slowly unfolded in, then fell to her knees.
A death notice. She'd gotten a death notice for Toushiro Hitsugaya. Let it be a dream. Please, let it be a dream.
Baby, why'd you leave me
why'd you have to go?
I was counting on forever
now I'll never know
I can't even breathe
"I understand how you feel. It was a shock to everyone. I'm sorry, Karin." Matsumoto consoled.
It's like I'm looking from a distance
Standing in the background
Everybody's saying
He's not coming home now
This can't be happening to me
This is just a dream
Karin felt so useless. She had been staying comfortably at home, while her husband had been out fighting a war. She hated herself. She starting questioning herself. Did she deserve this? Did Toushiro?
Oh, Baby, why'd you leave me
why'd you have to go?
I was counting on forever
now I'll never know
Oh, I'll never know
Apparently, Karin's dream had been more of a premonition. She now stood in front of the open casket, looking at her husband's body. She held Hyourinmaru to herself and stroked Toushiro's white hair. It was still as gravity defying as ever. She smiled subconsciously at the thought.
She'd never again get to see the beautiful sparkle in his teal eyes when he was happy. She would never again get to here the sarcastic remarks he made at her cooking. She'd never again get to hear the low rumble of his laugh. Most of all, she'd never get to feel his body against hers, ever, ever again.
It's like I'm looking from a distance
standing in the background
Everybody's saying
He's not coming home now
This can't be happening to me
This is just a dream
After the funeral, she looked over Hyourinmaru. She saw a small piece of paper sticking out of the sheath. She gently took it out and unfolded it.
Dear Karin,
If you are reading this, I am no longer with you. I am sorry to have broken my promise I made on our wedding day. I promised to always put you first. I failed you and the Soul Society both. I am so disgusted with myself. I will never forgive myself for leaving you alone. For leaving you without a family with me. You told me once that you'd always wanted to have a family of your own. I've taken that from you. From this, I wouldn't mind if you decided to remarry. I still love you. I always will.
Always and Forever,
Toushiro Hitsugaya
Karin smiled and pressed a hand to her stomach. Toushiro hadn't deprived her of a family. He'd given her one, he just didn't know it. She knew she could never remarry. She wouldn't break her commitment to him. He'd always be in her heart and dreams.
She prayed that the child she would be having would have Toushiro's physical features. More specifically, his eyes. His eyes were what made her fall in love with him in the first place. She could always tell exactly what he was feeling by looking at them. This child would be a bond between them, and she would never break that bond. Never.
Oh, This is just a dream
Just a dream
Yeah...
Yeah...
Me, being a sap, had to give it a semi-happy ending. Don't kill me. I'm actually quite impressed that my brain could think this up...