Title ROADTRIP
Author Charlene Edwards
Disclaimer Characters are owned by DC Comics & Warner Brothers, and are not me (more's the pity). The story however is ALL mine. DC would NEVER do this to the characters. LOL
Rating: PG-13 (the guys are talking (almost) like guys their age would talk
Story Synopsis: Hmm, well this is a completely plotless story, but it was fun to write. Dick & friends take a trip...
Feedback: positive list feedback
THANKS to Noel for beta'ing and encouraging me with this; and to *, *, *, & * who's real life trip inspired this, they know who they are. Names have been changed to protect the guilty. ;-) Hope you all enjoy this little sillyfic. Char :-)
ROADTRIP:
"What do you mean Wally's not coming? He always goes. WE always go! It's an annual trip! Sonova..."
"Calm down Roy. He can't help it."
"What's his reason Dick? Huh?" Roy said as he stomped around Dick's Bludhaven apartment.
"Linda won't let him go," Dick said wearily as he watched Roy move through the room like a corralled bull.
"What! Damn, he's...he's..."
"Married. Roy, the word is married."
"He's not married, he's whipped! And he calls himself a superhero! This ruins everything, you know. I mean our annual spring break trip is tradition. We've already got reservations, tickets and everything. FOR THREE!"
"I know," Dick said in a calm voice, hoping Roy would cool off in this millennia.
"Hey!" Tim yelled as he walked in the front door of Dick's apartment. "I just saw Clancy with some guy," he continued pointing toward the door behind him.
"Yeah, new guy."
"Well that uncomplicated things for you," Tim said as he headed toward the kitchen. "Hey Roy, didn't know you were coming."
"Hey squirt. Dick, Wally and I were SUPPOSE to be going on a trip."
"Yeah, Dick was telling me. You suppose to leave today?"
"Yes," Dick replied.
"But we're short Wally because his wife won't let him come out and play."
"What about Garth?" Tim asked.
"Same thing."
"Oh."
Exasperated, Dick started, "Roy, we could still go."
"Just the two of us? It's always been three."
"Well what's wrong with just the two of us?" Dick asked standing up from the sofa and walking towards Roy.
Tim sat on Dick's kitchen counter watching the interaction between them. A gleam formed in his eye and he got a wicked smile. "I could go."
Dick and Roy turned toward Tim. He smiled back at them with a sheepish grin.
"You're a munchkin. Why would we want you tagging along?" Roy said gruffly.
"Roy!" Dick growled, his voice a very close imitation of Batman's.
"Okay! okay! Chill man. I didn't mean nuthing. It's just, we need someone who can go clubbing with us. Sixteen year olds don't get in."
"But I've got an ID that says I'm 18. Most clubs'll let me in with that. I'll say I'm your D.D."
Dick's mouth dropped as he stared at Tim. Finally, he found his voice, "You have a fake ID?"
"Yeah."
"A fake ID! Where did you get a fake ID?"
"I made it," Tim said with a gulp. He slid off the counter and stood as tall as he could.
"Made it? How?"
Turning away from Dick, Tim mumbled, "Withthebatcomputer."
"What? What! What did you say?"
Turning back towards his older brother, but not looking him in the eye, repeated, "With the bat computer."
"With. The. Bat computer. Oh my God. You are so dead. WE are so dead."
"Why we?" Roy asked.
"Because we know. Therefore we are co-conspirators. Tim, do you really think he's not going to find out?" Dick asked incredulously.
"Yeah, he found out when we made ours with the JLA computer," Roy casually added.
Dick turned and glared at Roy. That piece of information was NOT needed now. He was trying to be a responsible adult and talk to his little brother.
"You two made fake Id's on the JLA computer? Kewl! But you know, my question was, can I go?"
Roy walked over to the boy and, draping his arm around Tim's shoulder, looked at Dick, "Yeah, can he go? We need a D.D."
Dick dropped his head into his hand. He knew this was a mistake. He knew they were going to get in trouble. BIG trouble. Jack Drake would probably have them arrested for kidnapping and contributing to the delinquency of a minor. That ought to be good for twenty to life.
Hmm, that would be better than Batman's reaction.
"I know I'm going to regret this..."
"Woohoo!" Tim shouted before Dick could finish. "So where are we going?"
Roy waved the tickets in front of Tim, who grabbed them so he could read them.
"Sounds good," Tim said looking up from the tickets. "Hey, why are we flying coach?"
"Coach!" Dick and Roy said in unison as they turned toward Tim. Reaching out they both grabbed a ticket from the boy and read the words "COACH."
"Roy!" Dick growled.
"What! I didn't know." Roy replied, hands in the air.
"You made the arrangements."
"Yeah, but I didn't see it say coach when I ordered the tickets."
"What travel agent did you use?" Dick watched as Roy twisted his lips. Roy's eyes seemingly deep in thought.
"Well, uh, you see, Dick, I ... uh ... didn't use a travel agent. See there's this price thing on the internet where you can get stuff cheap and I ..."
"Oh my God! Like we needed to go cheap Roy!"
Tim tried to suppress a giggle as he watched Dick pace around the living room. He wondered how Dick could easily maneuver past the strewn dishes and clothes littering the apartment floor. Dick never looked down, yet managed to miss every single item. And there were a lot of items.
"It's not like you haven't flown coach before. It won't kill you. You are so spoiled."
"Spoiled! I am not spoiled!"
Tim could no longer contain his laughter. It exploded from his lips as he fell into the floor holding his stomach. If they'd still let him go on this trip, he knew he was going to have a blast.
"What's so funny?"
"You," Tim responded between his laughter, as tears started to fall from his eyes, "you spoiled brat."
"Shut-up." Dick said, turning from Tim back to Roy. "I suppose you got our hotel rooms through the internet too."
Roy tried his best to put on an innocent face. "It's not as bad as you think, I saw the rooms on the net."
Tim had gotten up from the floor and moved toward the table to look at the other papers concerning the trip. "Hey, I don't see anything about a rental car."
"Oh shit!" Roy said, "I knew I forgot something."
Dick rolled his eyes upward. Never again would he let Roy be in charge of planning any trip he was going on.
***********************************************************************
"What name is the rental car reservation in, Sir?" the rental agent asked.
Dick looked at Tim with an evil glare as Tim whistled beside him. Then turning to the airport rental car agent, Dick responded, "Robbie Malone."
After they had completed the papers and Dick had paid the deposit, the three headed out into the dimly lit parking garage in search of their Mazda 626. It was red. Well, that was something. As they walked toward the car carrying their luggage, Dick whispered to Tim, "I can't believe that you made your fake ID name Jack Malone. That's OUR work names. Our undercover names. Then you made the car reservation in Robbie Malone! What were you thinking?"
"Dick, you've been harping on this since yesterday. It doesn't matter. No one here knows Robbie, Jack or even Matches Malone. Besides, this way, if anyone asks, we're brothers, Bro."
"Will you just quit whining Dick. You've been whining the entire plane ride," Roy interjected. "We're here to have a good time. Leave the kid alone. You don't want to use your Robbie ID, don't. It don't matter what name the car's in."
"Fine. Just get in the car. Both of you," Dick said a little gruffer than he intended.
"Yes, Bruce!" Roy and Tim said with a salute.
Dick just stood, frozen in place, glaring at the two of them. He watched as they erupted in laughter. Tim and Roy were definitely becoming closer than Dick was actually comfortable with.
"That's not funny," Dick stated solemnly.
"It would be if you could've seen your face," Roy replied.
"Just get in the car, please."
"Yes Br--"
"Tim, I'm gonna tell," Dick said.
"Tattle bat," Roy responded as they got into the car.
***********************************************************************
They walked down the stairs of the hotel from the lobby to the floor below. They had never stayed in a hotel that had a floor BELOW the lobby. The hall on this floor was not as nice as the lobby.
Tim picked at the faded wallpaper where it peeled from the wall as they walked to their room. "What a dump!" he exclaimed
"Shut up squirt," Roy responded.
"I don't get it," Dick started as he placed the card key in the door and waited for the green light, "the lobby was really nice. This floor..."
Dick didn't finish his sentence as he heard the sound of female laughter. Turning he saw a eight young girls coming from a room. College age girls. In Bikinis. His mouth dropped.
Roy and Tim's mouths had also dropped. This floor wasn't so bad after all.
"Hi guys," the girls said with a giggle as they walked by.
Tim turned completely around as he watched them pass. His eyes widening. "Oh. My. God."
"Don't pant, squirt," Roy said, "it's a turn off. Be smooth."
"I get it now," Dick said as he walked into the room throwing his suitcase on one of the two bed. "Tim gets the sofa bed."
"Aw man, why me?"
"Cause you're the youngest, and the shortest."
As Roy flopped across the other bed, he asked, "Get what?"
"This floor. College town, at a beach, gets a lot of spring breakers. It's a college floor. That way when a bunch of drunken college students mess stuff up, it's not such a big deal."
"So this floor's gonna probably be filled up with students on spring break. Like those girls." A wide smile formed on Roy's face, "Can I pick 'em or what!"
***********************************************************************
Dick, Roy, and Tim calmly approached the building. It was an old warehouse. Loud music echoed from within. A very large bouncer stopped them as they started entering the noisy club.
"He can't come in here," the bouncer said pointing at Tim.
"Why?" Tim asked, trying to hide the fact that his stomach was in a knot. He didn't want Dick or Roy to know that he had NEVER used this fake ID he made. He only made it to impress Kon. He never really planned to use it. BUT ...
"Gotta be eighteen."
"He is," Dick said calmly, his blue eyes looking the bouncer directly in the eye.
"He is?"
"Yeah."
"I gotta see some ID."
Tim reached in his pocket and pulled out the fake driver's license. The birth date read March 5, 1983. The bouncer raised an eyebrow as he let the three pass.
The club was full of people. Energized people. Flashy clothes, cute girls, loud music. This was going to be fun. One wild night.
They mulled through the crowd, people watching as they did, looking for an empty table. Dick spotted the table, Roy headed for the bar. Tim stood still, watching his two companions moving in different directions. After a minute, he headed off after Dick.
"This is such a kewl place Dick!"
Dick chuckled as he sat down, "Yeah, it's okay. You should see some of the clubs in New York." A wide grin formed on Tim's face as he turned to face Dick. "That wasn't an invitation," Dick continued. He chuckled again as he watched Tim's face fall.
"Aw Dick."
"You're in. Here. Be happy."
"I am," Tim said. His mood perked up as quickly as it had deflated. "This is going to be so much fun."
"Glad you're having fun already, squirt," Roy said as he handed Dick a beer. Sitting down he handed Tim a Zesti across the table. Roy started drinking his beer as he looked around the club.
"So, uh, what do we now?" Tim asked.
Dick and Roy looked at Tim, then at each other. They broke out in laughter.
"What?"
"Just wondering if we were ever that young," Dick responded.
"We were," Roy added with a smile. "Hello! Be right back." Roy headed off in the direction of a pretty young blonde in a tight mini. "Hello gorgeous, this is your lucky night. I'm Roy..."
Tim looked at Dick, his eyes wide, as they watched Roy flirting outrageously with the blonde. "Does he know that..." pointing toward Roy.
Dick shook his head no as he continued to drink his beer.
"Well, shouldn't we tell him?"
"In a minute.. "
"In a minute?"
"Yeah," Dick said with a wide smile as they continued to watch Roy. They watched as the blonde with whom Roy was flirting started patting Roy's behind. The blonde leaned closer to Roy, whispering in his ear.
Dick and Tim started chuckling as they saw Roy's face. Their laughter was louder as Roy approached their table.
"Any ... anything wrong?" Dick asked, trying hard to keep a straight face.
"Nothing," Roy growled as he sat down sulking.
"What was her name?" Dick pressed.
"Fred."
Tim and Dick howled with laughter. Roy glared at them as he finished his beer. "I need some more beer."
"I'll go get it," Tim said.
"Yeah, right," Dick replied.
"Huh?"
Leaning across the table toward Tim, Dick reminded him, "Just because that fake ID got you in here, don't think it'll buy you beer."
"I was gonna buy you beer."
"Uh-huh. I'll get this round," Dick said standing up, "You want another soda?"
"Yeah."
Dick walked away from the table. Tim turned around from his seat directly into the well endowed chest of a young brunette.
"Hi!" she said giddily, "You're cute."
"I am? Uh ... I mean ... uh, Hi!"
"You want to dance?"
"Uh-huh," Tim verbalized.
"Great! I get the drag queen and the kid gets the hottie. Guess that's what they mean by Young Justice," Roy griped under his breath.
Dick smiled as he saw Tim being pulled onto the dance floor. Setting a beer in front of Roy, Dick plopped down in his chair. "Looks like he's having a good time."
"Grr"
"Roy!"
"What! Life sucks! Where's the justice? You and me are just sitting here drinking beer while little mister not even legal's dancing with the hottie." Roy took a large gulp of his beer.
Dick rolled his eyes toward Roy, then started shaking his head. He was about to speak when two young girls came over and sat at their table.
"Hi, I'm Brittany," the auburn haired beauty said, "and this is Vickie. Aren't you two staying in our hotel?"
Roy and Dick looked at each other with puzzled expressions. Then Dick's eyes widened. "Yeah. You two were in that group going to the pool when we were checking in."
"Right," Vickie replied as she moved closer to Roy.
"Well ladies, I'm Roy and my friend here is..." Roy began with a wicked grin, "Robbie."
Dick glared at Roy. 'No, he just didn't.'
"Hi Robbie," Brittany said. "Are you two on spring break?"
"Yeah. Hey, you girls want a beer?" Roy asked; his mood vastly improved from moments earlier.
"Sure, or something stronger," Vickie giggled.
Roy looked at Dick, a gleam in his eyes. "What'dya say Robbie?"
Dick looked from Roy to the two girls, then his eyes went to the dance floor where Tim seemed to be having a really good time. It was their 'spring break' after all. Nothing wrong with going a little crazy now and then. Loosening up. "Sounds like a plan," Dick replied.
***********************************************************************
"Hey Timbo," Roy slurred his words as he wrapped his arms around the younger boy's neck. Tim made a face at the smell of the alcohol. "You might want to disappear from the room for a while when we get back."
"Yeah, come on Roy," Tim said as he broke away and kept walking toward the car. Tim had never stayed in a place until closing before, especially a club. 'I'm glad I'm here to drive.' he thought. He turned back and watched as Dick and Brittany stumbled behind the rest of the group, giggling. Their threesome had become a group of six. Tim's mouth formed a smile. He's never seen Dick drunk before. Actually he never thought Dick would get drunk at all. This trip was giving Tim a lot of great blackmail material.
As he drove back toward the hotel, Tim heard noises coming from the back seat where Roy and the girls were. He started to look in his rearview mirror to see what was going on, then decided he didn't want to know.
KA-KLUNK
"What?"
KA-KLUNK KA-KLUNK
"Aw man," Tim said as the rental car started to die. Tim just barely got it pulled over to the side of the road before the car gave out completely.
"What did you do Jack?" Dick asked, a little louder than was necessary.
"I didn't do anything. This stupid rental car just died."
"I can fix it," Dick proclaimed, "I can fix anything with wheels." Then he got out of the car and headed toward the front of the automobile. Fumbling around at the front of the car, he couldn't seem to find the latch. Taking his fist, Dick started banging on the hood.
"Oh shit," Tim stated as he quickly got out of the car. On his way out, he noticed Roy and the girls seemed oblivious to the fact they had stopped at all. "Dick, uh Dick, stop that."
"Huh?"
"Stop it. Look, we're only about a mile or two from the hotel, why don't we walk. The fresh air'll be good for us. ALL of us."
Dick looked at Tim. "But I can fix it," he whined.
"As drunk as you and Roy are, I'm afraid if you get close to the engine, the car'll explode."
"Really?" Dick asked.
"Let's not try it," Tim responded. Going to the back door of the car, he banged on the window and then opened the door. He held his breath, afraid of what he might see. "Roy, girls, the cars dead. We're gonna have to walk."
"Walk?" Roy asked as he looked up, the lower part of his face a mixture of red, pink, and coral lipsticks. "That's cool. Ladies? Shall we." Roy and the giggling trio left the car and headed toward Dick. The group started walking toward the hotel.
Dick was enjoying himself. It was fun just walking, just hanging out. Tim was right, the fresh air was clearing his head, a little. He could still feel the effects of the alcohol. No, he was still drunk. But, he wasn't so drunk he didn't know what he was doing. He just had less inhibitions. Right now, he liked that.
"Hey look," Brittany yelled as she pointed to yellow crime scene tape surrounding the one-story brick building they were walking past. "Something happened here."
"Hmm, yeah, I'd say that was a good piece of detective work there Brit," Dick replied as he walked straight through yellow plastic that read in large black letters "CRIME SCENE: DO NOT CROSS".
"What are you doing?" Tim yelled after Dick.
"Checking the scene."
"Yeah, right!" Tim responded incredulously. "You'd better get back here."
"Party-pooper," Roy said as he hugged Vickie to him. "Hey, Leanna, ease Jackie up a bit."
"I'm eased up Roy!"
"Oookay," Dick said as he walked back toward the group, "let's go on." Grabbing a discarded plastic water bottle, Dick tossed it at Roy.
"Hey!" Roy yelled and threw the bottle back at Dick.
"What's going on!" a deep voice yelled authoritatively as a flashlight shined in their eyes. A local police officer ran up toward the group. "Who threw that bottle?"
"We're not doing anything, Officer," Dick began trying to calmly explain the situation.
"You," the officer said as he flashed the light in Dick's face, "move over behind my car, hands on the trunk."
"Officer," Dick started again.
"I said move. NOW." Then turning the flashlight toward Roy and Tim, he continued, "You two move apart."
"Look, we haven't done anything," Roy said loudly. "We're just walking to our hotel."
"One of you three threw that bottle. That's littering. That's a thousand dollar fine. I want to know who threw that bottle."
"Sir, it wasn't our bottle, we ..." Tim tried to interject.
"I'm not talking to you yet," the officer said shining the light in Tim's face.
"Oh geez! This is a bunch of bullsh..."
"What's that mister yellow shirt?" the Officer angrily said as he approached Roy.
"I said this is a bunch of bull..."
"Roy!" Dick yelled as he started toward the two.
The Officer raised his flashlight toward Dick. "Get back behind my car. Hands on the trunk. Now."
Dick let out a deep sigh as he walked back toward the police car. This was just great. Roy was arguing with a cop. They were going to jail. He knew it. They were going to jail.
"Sir," Vickie said tentatively, "Could I talk to you please."
The officer approached the young blond who calmly explained their situation. The car breaking down, walking back to the hotel, that the bottle was already on the ground and that the boys were just tossing it around until they could find a trash can. With an audible sigh, he relented.
"You all can go. But you need to watch your mouth," he said loudly as he pointed at Roy.
Roy growled as Dick walked over and stood on his foot. "He will sir," Dick said with a forced smile. After the officer was out of earshot, Dick looked at Roy, "Are you freaking crazy? What the hell is wrong with you?"
"That was a bunch of bullshit!"
"Yeah I know that. But we still could have ended up in jail."
"WELL we didn't."
"That's right, guys," Tim interjected, "We didn't. It's over, lets just go, okay."
"Yeah, come on guys," Brittany said.
"Let's go," Dick said walking over and putting his arm around Brittany. They all headed toward the hotel.
Jumping a ditch, they entered the parking lot of the hotel neighboring theirs. As they walked along past the lobby doors, the corner of the brick hotel caught Dick's attention. Walking on, an idea went through his head. Dick laughed aloud and headed toward the building corner.
"Watch this," he said as he grabbed hold of the building and started scaling the corner free handed.
"Show off," Roy said as he watched the three girls start giggling in amazement. Hating to be upstaged, Roy followed suit and started scaling the building behind Dick.
Leanna walked over to Tim who was standing there shaking his head. "Can't you do that?" she asked.
Tim looked at her with wide eyes, "Of course I can do that."
"Show me."
"But..."
"Please."
He looked at her beautiful brown eyes, her long black hair, her well endowed attributes. With a grin, Tim began scaling the wall.
When they were about half-way up the wall of the two-story building, they heard a familiar voice.
"You three! Come down here! NOW!"
Looking down, Dick saw the same police officer they had encountered earlier. "Oh shit." Jumping to the ground, he noticed the girls weren't here. He looked and saw they were at the hotel, going in the door. What is it they say about rats leaving a sinking ship?
"You three again. Well what were we up too this time?"
"Climbing a wall," Roy said as sarcastically as he could.
Tim tried to stay as inconspicuous as he could behind Dick and Roy. At least they were drunk, what the hell was his excuse for this. He knew better. Didn't he?
"So, mister yellow shirt, you have a name?"
"Roy."
"And who are your friends?" the officer asked as he walked in front of Dick. "What's your name? Spiderman?"
Dick felt himself start to blush. Thank God Bruce wouldn't find out about this.
"What's your name?"
Dick started to smile as a wicked thought crossed his mind. He knew it was illegal, fictitious information to an officer and all, but it was better than the alternative -- which was Bruce finding out in the newspapers that Dick Grayson had been arrested. Looking the officer in the eye, Dick calmly responded, "Robbie. Robbie Malone. The kid here's my brother Jack."
Tim looked at Dick, his eyes wide. Traitor. The cop had forgotten about him. At least Tim had hoped he had.
"We were just going back to our hotel. Right over there," Dick pointed as he continued to talk to the officer, "we'll go on over and go to bed now. I think that's what we need to do."
"Really? I think you three are going down town with me."
"Man, where the hell do you get off," Roy started very loudly. "Don't you have any real crime to deal with. We're just here on spring break trying to have a little fun and have a few girls, and you're hassling us for climbing a wall. We didn't hurt the wall. It's brick."
"Oh shit," Dick whispered as he turned toward Tim.
***********************************************************************
Dick rested his head against the cold steel bars of the cell. Never ever let Roy plan their trips. OR anything else for that matter. Turning around he saw Roy and Tim sprawled out on their cell bunks. Roy was sleeping it off while Tim was just sleeping. How could they just sleep so comfortably in jail? His head felt like a truck had ran over it and then backed up. He laid it back against the cool bars. They actually weren't all that bad.
He heard the squeaking of the outer cell block door opening, but he didn't look up. He heard the footsteps coming closer and closer, but he didn't look up.
"Youse don't look so good."
Dick heard the thick New Jersey accent and the striking of a match. Tim sat straight up on his bunk. His face held a terrified look. Roy snored and rolled over.
'I am so dead.' kept rolling through Dick's mind as he finally found the courage to look into the eyes of Matches Malone.
"Hiya Pop, how'd you know?"
"A little red bird saw that Robbie Malone was arrested. So I came and bailed youse guys out," he said solemnly.
"You really didn't have to," Dick replied.
Tim had slowly stood up and walked closer to the bars. "We're leaving? With him?"
"Yeah Jackie, you're coming home with me."
"I don't wanna," Tim whined as he looked at Dick, "Can't we stay here?"
"In jail?" Dick asked looking at Tim.
"Please," Tim whined.
Dick looked at Bruce. Bruce's eyes, hard and cold, behind the Matches get-up. Then Bruce's eyes softened, ever so slightly.
"We'll leave Roy," Bruce replied with a half-smile as the guard opened the cell door.
Dick pushed Tim out of the door as he stifled a laugh. As they walked from the cell, the still heard Roy's snores.
the end ....
Author Charlene Edwards
Disclaimer Characters are owned by DC Comics & Warner Brothers, and are not me (more's the pity). The story however is ALL mine. DC would NEVER do this to the characters. LOL
Rating: PG-13 (the guys are talking (almost) like guys their age would talk
Story Synopsis: Hmm, well this is a completely plotless story, but it was fun to write. Dick & friends take a trip...
Feedback: positive list feedback
THANKS to Noel for beta'ing and encouraging me with this; and to *, *, *, & * who's real life trip inspired this, they know who they are. Names have been changed to protect the guilty. ;-) Hope you all enjoy this little sillyfic. Char :-)
ROADTRIP:
"What do you mean Wally's not coming? He always goes. WE always go! It's an annual trip! Sonova..."
"Calm down Roy. He can't help it."
"What's his reason Dick? Huh?" Roy said as he stomped around Dick's Bludhaven apartment.
"Linda won't let him go," Dick said wearily as he watched Roy move through the room like a corralled bull.
"What! Damn, he's...he's..."
"Married. Roy, the word is married."
"He's not married, he's whipped! And he calls himself a superhero! This ruins everything, you know. I mean our annual spring break trip is tradition. We've already got reservations, tickets and everything. FOR THREE!"
"I know," Dick said in a calm voice, hoping Roy would cool off in this millennia.
"Hey!" Tim yelled as he walked in the front door of Dick's apartment. "I just saw Clancy with some guy," he continued pointing toward the door behind him.
"Yeah, new guy."
"Well that uncomplicated things for you," Tim said as he headed toward the kitchen. "Hey Roy, didn't know you were coming."
"Hey squirt. Dick, Wally and I were SUPPOSE to be going on a trip."
"Yeah, Dick was telling me. You suppose to leave today?"
"Yes," Dick replied.
"But we're short Wally because his wife won't let him come out and play."
"What about Garth?" Tim asked.
"Same thing."
"Oh."
Exasperated, Dick started, "Roy, we could still go."
"Just the two of us? It's always been three."
"Well what's wrong with just the two of us?" Dick asked standing up from the sofa and walking towards Roy.
Tim sat on Dick's kitchen counter watching the interaction between them. A gleam formed in his eye and he got a wicked smile. "I could go."
Dick and Roy turned toward Tim. He smiled back at them with a sheepish grin.
"You're a munchkin. Why would we want you tagging along?" Roy said gruffly.
"Roy!" Dick growled, his voice a very close imitation of Batman's.
"Okay! okay! Chill man. I didn't mean nuthing. It's just, we need someone who can go clubbing with us. Sixteen year olds don't get in."
"But I've got an ID that says I'm 18. Most clubs'll let me in with that. I'll say I'm your D.D."
Dick's mouth dropped as he stared at Tim. Finally, he found his voice, "You have a fake ID?"
"Yeah."
"A fake ID! Where did you get a fake ID?"
"I made it," Tim said with a gulp. He slid off the counter and stood as tall as he could.
"Made it? How?"
Turning away from Dick, Tim mumbled, "Withthebatcomputer."
"What? What! What did you say?"
Turning back towards his older brother, but not looking him in the eye, repeated, "With the bat computer."
"With. The. Bat computer. Oh my God. You are so dead. WE are so dead."
"Why we?" Roy asked.
"Because we know. Therefore we are co-conspirators. Tim, do you really think he's not going to find out?" Dick asked incredulously.
"Yeah, he found out when we made ours with the JLA computer," Roy casually added.
Dick turned and glared at Roy. That piece of information was NOT needed now. He was trying to be a responsible adult and talk to his little brother.
"You two made fake Id's on the JLA computer? Kewl! But you know, my question was, can I go?"
Roy walked over to the boy and, draping his arm around Tim's shoulder, looked at Dick, "Yeah, can he go? We need a D.D."
Dick dropped his head into his hand. He knew this was a mistake. He knew they were going to get in trouble. BIG trouble. Jack Drake would probably have them arrested for kidnapping and contributing to the delinquency of a minor. That ought to be good for twenty to life.
Hmm, that would be better than Batman's reaction.
"I know I'm going to regret this..."
"Woohoo!" Tim shouted before Dick could finish. "So where are we going?"
Roy waved the tickets in front of Tim, who grabbed them so he could read them.
"Sounds good," Tim said looking up from the tickets. "Hey, why are we flying coach?"
"Coach!" Dick and Roy said in unison as they turned toward Tim. Reaching out they both grabbed a ticket from the boy and read the words "COACH."
"Roy!" Dick growled.
"What! I didn't know." Roy replied, hands in the air.
"You made the arrangements."
"Yeah, but I didn't see it say coach when I ordered the tickets."
"What travel agent did you use?" Dick watched as Roy twisted his lips. Roy's eyes seemingly deep in thought.
"Well, uh, you see, Dick, I ... uh ... didn't use a travel agent. See there's this price thing on the internet where you can get stuff cheap and I ..."
"Oh my God! Like we needed to go cheap Roy!"
Tim tried to suppress a giggle as he watched Dick pace around the living room. He wondered how Dick could easily maneuver past the strewn dishes and clothes littering the apartment floor. Dick never looked down, yet managed to miss every single item. And there were a lot of items.
"It's not like you haven't flown coach before. It won't kill you. You are so spoiled."
"Spoiled! I am not spoiled!"
Tim could no longer contain his laughter. It exploded from his lips as he fell into the floor holding his stomach. If they'd still let him go on this trip, he knew he was going to have a blast.
"What's so funny?"
"You," Tim responded between his laughter, as tears started to fall from his eyes, "you spoiled brat."
"Shut-up." Dick said, turning from Tim back to Roy. "I suppose you got our hotel rooms through the internet too."
Roy tried his best to put on an innocent face. "It's not as bad as you think, I saw the rooms on the net."
Tim had gotten up from the floor and moved toward the table to look at the other papers concerning the trip. "Hey, I don't see anything about a rental car."
"Oh shit!" Roy said, "I knew I forgot something."
Dick rolled his eyes upward. Never again would he let Roy be in charge of planning any trip he was going on.
***********************************************************************
"What name is the rental car reservation in, Sir?" the rental agent asked.
Dick looked at Tim with an evil glare as Tim whistled beside him. Then turning to the airport rental car agent, Dick responded, "Robbie Malone."
After they had completed the papers and Dick had paid the deposit, the three headed out into the dimly lit parking garage in search of their Mazda 626. It was red. Well, that was something. As they walked toward the car carrying their luggage, Dick whispered to Tim, "I can't believe that you made your fake ID name Jack Malone. That's OUR work names. Our undercover names. Then you made the car reservation in Robbie Malone! What were you thinking?"
"Dick, you've been harping on this since yesterday. It doesn't matter. No one here knows Robbie, Jack or even Matches Malone. Besides, this way, if anyone asks, we're brothers, Bro."
"Will you just quit whining Dick. You've been whining the entire plane ride," Roy interjected. "We're here to have a good time. Leave the kid alone. You don't want to use your Robbie ID, don't. It don't matter what name the car's in."
"Fine. Just get in the car. Both of you," Dick said a little gruffer than he intended.
"Yes, Bruce!" Roy and Tim said with a salute.
Dick just stood, frozen in place, glaring at the two of them. He watched as they erupted in laughter. Tim and Roy were definitely becoming closer than Dick was actually comfortable with.
"That's not funny," Dick stated solemnly.
"It would be if you could've seen your face," Roy replied.
"Just get in the car, please."
"Yes Br--"
"Tim, I'm gonna tell," Dick said.
"Tattle bat," Roy responded as they got into the car.
***********************************************************************
They walked down the stairs of the hotel from the lobby to the floor below. They had never stayed in a hotel that had a floor BELOW the lobby. The hall on this floor was not as nice as the lobby.
Tim picked at the faded wallpaper where it peeled from the wall as they walked to their room. "What a dump!" he exclaimed
"Shut up squirt," Roy responded.
"I don't get it," Dick started as he placed the card key in the door and waited for the green light, "the lobby was really nice. This floor..."
Dick didn't finish his sentence as he heard the sound of female laughter. Turning he saw a eight young girls coming from a room. College age girls. In Bikinis. His mouth dropped.
Roy and Tim's mouths had also dropped. This floor wasn't so bad after all.
"Hi guys," the girls said with a giggle as they walked by.
Tim turned completely around as he watched them pass. His eyes widening. "Oh. My. God."
"Don't pant, squirt," Roy said, "it's a turn off. Be smooth."
"I get it now," Dick said as he walked into the room throwing his suitcase on one of the two bed. "Tim gets the sofa bed."
"Aw man, why me?"
"Cause you're the youngest, and the shortest."
As Roy flopped across the other bed, he asked, "Get what?"
"This floor. College town, at a beach, gets a lot of spring breakers. It's a college floor. That way when a bunch of drunken college students mess stuff up, it's not such a big deal."
"So this floor's gonna probably be filled up with students on spring break. Like those girls." A wide smile formed on Roy's face, "Can I pick 'em or what!"
***********************************************************************
Dick, Roy, and Tim calmly approached the building. It was an old warehouse. Loud music echoed from within. A very large bouncer stopped them as they started entering the noisy club.
"He can't come in here," the bouncer said pointing at Tim.
"Why?" Tim asked, trying to hide the fact that his stomach was in a knot. He didn't want Dick or Roy to know that he had NEVER used this fake ID he made. He only made it to impress Kon. He never really planned to use it. BUT ...
"Gotta be eighteen."
"He is," Dick said calmly, his blue eyes looking the bouncer directly in the eye.
"He is?"
"Yeah."
"I gotta see some ID."
Tim reached in his pocket and pulled out the fake driver's license. The birth date read March 5, 1983. The bouncer raised an eyebrow as he let the three pass.
The club was full of people. Energized people. Flashy clothes, cute girls, loud music. This was going to be fun. One wild night.
They mulled through the crowd, people watching as they did, looking for an empty table. Dick spotted the table, Roy headed for the bar. Tim stood still, watching his two companions moving in different directions. After a minute, he headed off after Dick.
"This is such a kewl place Dick!"
Dick chuckled as he sat down, "Yeah, it's okay. You should see some of the clubs in New York." A wide grin formed on Tim's face as he turned to face Dick. "That wasn't an invitation," Dick continued. He chuckled again as he watched Tim's face fall.
"Aw Dick."
"You're in. Here. Be happy."
"I am," Tim said. His mood perked up as quickly as it had deflated. "This is going to be so much fun."
"Glad you're having fun already, squirt," Roy said as he handed Dick a beer. Sitting down he handed Tim a Zesti across the table. Roy started drinking his beer as he looked around the club.
"So, uh, what do we now?" Tim asked.
Dick and Roy looked at Tim, then at each other. They broke out in laughter.
"What?"
"Just wondering if we were ever that young," Dick responded.
"We were," Roy added with a smile. "Hello! Be right back." Roy headed off in the direction of a pretty young blonde in a tight mini. "Hello gorgeous, this is your lucky night. I'm Roy..."
Tim looked at Dick, his eyes wide, as they watched Roy flirting outrageously with the blonde. "Does he know that..." pointing toward Roy.
Dick shook his head no as he continued to drink his beer.
"Well, shouldn't we tell him?"
"In a minute.. "
"In a minute?"
"Yeah," Dick said with a wide smile as they continued to watch Roy. They watched as the blonde with whom Roy was flirting started patting Roy's behind. The blonde leaned closer to Roy, whispering in his ear.
Dick and Tim started chuckling as they saw Roy's face. Their laughter was louder as Roy approached their table.
"Any ... anything wrong?" Dick asked, trying hard to keep a straight face.
"Nothing," Roy growled as he sat down sulking.
"What was her name?" Dick pressed.
"Fred."
Tim and Dick howled with laughter. Roy glared at them as he finished his beer. "I need some more beer."
"I'll go get it," Tim said.
"Yeah, right," Dick replied.
"Huh?"
Leaning across the table toward Tim, Dick reminded him, "Just because that fake ID got you in here, don't think it'll buy you beer."
"I was gonna buy you beer."
"Uh-huh. I'll get this round," Dick said standing up, "You want another soda?"
"Yeah."
Dick walked away from the table. Tim turned around from his seat directly into the well endowed chest of a young brunette.
"Hi!" she said giddily, "You're cute."
"I am? Uh ... I mean ... uh, Hi!"
"You want to dance?"
"Uh-huh," Tim verbalized.
"Great! I get the drag queen and the kid gets the hottie. Guess that's what they mean by Young Justice," Roy griped under his breath.
Dick smiled as he saw Tim being pulled onto the dance floor. Setting a beer in front of Roy, Dick plopped down in his chair. "Looks like he's having a good time."
"Grr"
"Roy!"
"What! Life sucks! Where's the justice? You and me are just sitting here drinking beer while little mister not even legal's dancing with the hottie." Roy took a large gulp of his beer.
Dick rolled his eyes toward Roy, then started shaking his head. He was about to speak when two young girls came over and sat at their table.
"Hi, I'm Brittany," the auburn haired beauty said, "and this is Vickie. Aren't you two staying in our hotel?"
Roy and Dick looked at each other with puzzled expressions. Then Dick's eyes widened. "Yeah. You two were in that group going to the pool when we were checking in."
"Right," Vickie replied as she moved closer to Roy.
"Well ladies, I'm Roy and my friend here is..." Roy began with a wicked grin, "Robbie."
Dick glared at Roy. 'No, he just didn't.'
"Hi Robbie," Brittany said. "Are you two on spring break?"
"Yeah. Hey, you girls want a beer?" Roy asked; his mood vastly improved from moments earlier.
"Sure, or something stronger," Vickie giggled.
Roy looked at Dick, a gleam in his eyes. "What'dya say Robbie?"
Dick looked from Roy to the two girls, then his eyes went to the dance floor where Tim seemed to be having a really good time. It was their 'spring break' after all. Nothing wrong with going a little crazy now and then. Loosening up. "Sounds like a plan," Dick replied.
***********************************************************************
"Hey Timbo," Roy slurred his words as he wrapped his arms around the younger boy's neck. Tim made a face at the smell of the alcohol. "You might want to disappear from the room for a while when we get back."
"Yeah, come on Roy," Tim said as he broke away and kept walking toward the car. Tim had never stayed in a place until closing before, especially a club. 'I'm glad I'm here to drive.' he thought. He turned back and watched as Dick and Brittany stumbled behind the rest of the group, giggling. Their threesome had become a group of six. Tim's mouth formed a smile. He's never seen Dick drunk before. Actually he never thought Dick would get drunk at all. This trip was giving Tim a lot of great blackmail material.
As he drove back toward the hotel, Tim heard noises coming from the back seat where Roy and the girls were. He started to look in his rearview mirror to see what was going on, then decided he didn't want to know.
KA-KLUNK
"What?"
KA-KLUNK KA-KLUNK
"Aw man," Tim said as the rental car started to die. Tim just barely got it pulled over to the side of the road before the car gave out completely.
"What did you do Jack?" Dick asked, a little louder than was necessary.
"I didn't do anything. This stupid rental car just died."
"I can fix it," Dick proclaimed, "I can fix anything with wheels." Then he got out of the car and headed toward the front of the automobile. Fumbling around at the front of the car, he couldn't seem to find the latch. Taking his fist, Dick started banging on the hood.
"Oh shit," Tim stated as he quickly got out of the car. On his way out, he noticed Roy and the girls seemed oblivious to the fact they had stopped at all. "Dick, uh Dick, stop that."
"Huh?"
"Stop it. Look, we're only about a mile or two from the hotel, why don't we walk. The fresh air'll be good for us. ALL of us."
Dick looked at Tim. "But I can fix it," he whined.
"As drunk as you and Roy are, I'm afraid if you get close to the engine, the car'll explode."
"Really?" Dick asked.
"Let's not try it," Tim responded. Going to the back door of the car, he banged on the window and then opened the door. He held his breath, afraid of what he might see. "Roy, girls, the cars dead. We're gonna have to walk."
"Walk?" Roy asked as he looked up, the lower part of his face a mixture of red, pink, and coral lipsticks. "That's cool. Ladies? Shall we." Roy and the giggling trio left the car and headed toward Dick. The group started walking toward the hotel.
Dick was enjoying himself. It was fun just walking, just hanging out. Tim was right, the fresh air was clearing his head, a little. He could still feel the effects of the alcohol. No, he was still drunk. But, he wasn't so drunk he didn't know what he was doing. He just had less inhibitions. Right now, he liked that.
"Hey look," Brittany yelled as she pointed to yellow crime scene tape surrounding the one-story brick building they were walking past. "Something happened here."
"Hmm, yeah, I'd say that was a good piece of detective work there Brit," Dick replied as he walked straight through yellow plastic that read in large black letters "CRIME SCENE: DO NOT CROSS".
"What are you doing?" Tim yelled after Dick.
"Checking the scene."
"Yeah, right!" Tim responded incredulously. "You'd better get back here."
"Party-pooper," Roy said as he hugged Vickie to him. "Hey, Leanna, ease Jackie up a bit."
"I'm eased up Roy!"
"Oookay," Dick said as he walked back toward the group, "let's go on." Grabbing a discarded plastic water bottle, Dick tossed it at Roy.
"Hey!" Roy yelled and threw the bottle back at Dick.
"What's going on!" a deep voice yelled authoritatively as a flashlight shined in their eyes. A local police officer ran up toward the group. "Who threw that bottle?"
"We're not doing anything, Officer," Dick began trying to calmly explain the situation.
"You," the officer said as he flashed the light in Dick's face, "move over behind my car, hands on the trunk."
"Officer," Dick started again.
"I said move. NOW." Then turning the flashlight toward Roy and Tim, he continued, "You two move apart."
"Look, we haven't done anything," Roy said loudly. "We're just walking to our hotel."
"One of you three threw that bottle. That's littering. That's a thousand dollar fine. I want to know who threw that bottle."
"Sir, it wasn't our bottle, we ..." Tim tried to interject.
"I'm not talking to you yet," the officer said shining the light in Tim's face.
"Oh geez! This is a bunch of bullsh..."
"What's that mister yellow shirt?" the Officer angrily said as he approached Roy.
"I said this is a bunch of bull..."
"Roy!" Dick yelled as he started toward the two.
The Officer raised his flashlight toward Dick. "Get back behind my car. Hands on the trunk. Now."
Dick let out a deep sigh as he walked back toward the police car. This was just great. Roy was arguing with a cop. They were going to jail. He knew it. They were going to jail.
"Sir," Vickie said tentatively, "Could I talk to you please."
The officer approached the young blond who calmly explained their situation. The car breaking down, walking back to the hotel, that the bottle was already on the ground and that the boys were just tossing it around until they could find a trash can. With an audible sigh, he relented.
"You all can go. But you need to watch your mouth," he said loudly as he pointed at Roy.
Roy growled as Dick walked over and stood on his foot. "He will sir," Dick said with a forced smile. After the officer was out of earshot, Dick looked at Roy, "Are you freaking crazy? What the hell is wrong with you?"
"That was a bunch of bullshit!"
"Yeah I know that. But we still could have ended up in jail."
"WELL we didn't."
"That's right, guys," Tim interjected, "We didn't. It's over, lets just go, okay."
"Yeah, come on guys," Brittany said.
"Let's go," Dick said walking over and putting his arm around Brittany. They all headed toward the hotel.
Jumping a ditch, they entered the parking lot of the hotel neighboring theirs. As they walked along past the lobby doors, the corner of the brick hotel caught Dick's attention. Walking on, an idea went through his head. Dick laughed aloud and headed toward the building corner.
"Watch this," he said as he grabbed hold of the building and started scaling the corner free handed.
"Show off," Roy said as he watched the three girls start giggling in amazement. Hating to be upstaged, Roy followed suit and started scaling the building behind Dick.
Leanna walked over to Tim who was standing there shaking his head. "Can't you do that?" she asked.
Tim looked at her with wide eyes, "Of course I can do that."
"Show me."
"But..."
"Please."
He looked at her beautiful brown eyes, her long black hair, her well endowed attributes. With a grin, Tim began scaling the wall.
When they were about half-way up the wall of the two-story building, they heard a familiar voice.
"You three! Come down here! NOW!"
Looking down, Dick saw the same police officer they had encountered earlier. "Oh shit." Jumping to the ground, he noticed the girls weren't here. He looked and saw they were at the hotel, going in the door. What is it they say about rats leaving a sinking ship?
"You three again. Well what were we up too this time?"
"Climbing a wall," Roy said as sarcastically as he could.
Tim tried to stay as inconspicuous as he could behind Dick and Roy. At least they were drunk, what the hell was his excuse for this. He knew better. Didn't he?
"So, mister yellow shirt, you have a name?"
"Roy."
"And who are your friends?" the officer asked as he walked in front of Dick. "What's your name? Spiderman?"
Dick felt himself start to blush. Thank God Bruce wouldn't find out about this.
"What's your name?"
Dick started to smile as a wicked thought crossed his mind. He knew it was illegal, fictitious information to an officer and all, but it was better than the alternative -- which was Bruce finding out in the newspapers that Dick Grayson had been arrested. Looking the officer in the eye, Dick calmly responded, "Robbie. Robbie Malone. The kid here's my brother Jack."
Tim looked at Dick, his eyes wide. Traitor. The cop had forgotten about him. At least Tim had hoped he had.
"We were just going back to our hotel. Right over there," Dick pointed as he continued to talk to the officer, "we'll go on over and go to bed now. I think that's what we need to do."
"Really? I think you three are going down town with me."
"Man, where the hell do you get off," Roy started very loudly. "Don't you have any real crime to deal with. We're just here on spring break trying to have a little fun and have a few girls, and you're hassling us for climbing a wall. We didn't hurt the wall. It's brick."
"Oh shit," Dick whispered as he turned toward Tim.
***********************************************************************
Dick rested his head against the cold steel bars of the cell. Never ever let Roy plan their trips. OR anything else for that matter. Turning around he saw Roy and Tim sprawled out on their cell bunks. Roy was sleeping it off while Tim was just sleeping. How could they just sleep so comfortably in jail? His head felt like a truck had ran over it and then backed up. He laid it back against the cool bars. They actually weren't all that bad.
He heard the squeaking of the outer cell block door opening, but he didn't look up. He heard the footsteps coming closer and closer, but he didn't look up.
"Youse don't look so good."
Dick heard the thick New Jersey accent and the striking of a match. Tim sat straight up on his bunk. His face held a terrified look. Roy snored and rolled over.
'I am so dead.' kept rolling through Dick's mind as he finally found the courage to look into the eyes of Matches Malone.
"Hiya Pop, how'd you know?"
"A little red bird saw that Robbie Malone was arrested. So I came and bailed youse guys out," he said solemnly.
"You really didn't have to," Dick replied.
Tim had slowly stood up and walked closer to the bars. "We're leaving? With him?"
"Yeah Jackie, you're coming home with me."
"I don't wanna," Tim whined as he looked at Dick, "Can't we stay here?"
"In jail?" Dick asked looking at Tim.
"Please," Tim whined.
Dick looked at Bruce. Bruce's eyes, hard and cold, behind the Matches get-up. Then Bruce's eyes softened, ever so slightly.
"We'll leave Roy," Bruce replied with a half-smile as the guard opened the cell door.
Dick pushed Tim out of the door as he stifled a laugh. As they walked from the cell, the still heard Roy's snores.
the end ....