It was a bright and VERY hot July summer afternoon in some city, California. Birds were chirping and people were randomly breaking into song. HAHA. Fool ya! What was really going on was construction workers re-constructing a school playground (A/n: I didn't see why they needed to do that. It was perfectly fine by my standards.) and a bunch of loud kids playing street hockey, or street baseball, or street frisbee, or street I-don't-know-what-the-hell-their-playing. To sum up the whole atmosphere, it wasn't exactly Disneyland. In fact, it was a pretty crappy neighborhood. And in the middle of this crappy neighborhood was a tall and gangly girl walking down the street to get to her friend's house. She went by Tatiana. Tatiana was dressed like she was always dressed. She had her very dark brown hair that was cut short making her look like a kid from the seventies, and she was wearing boy shorts that went half past her legs and a shirt that said "Pop Tart" on it. She was also wearing pink converse. By the stupid teenage retard eye, she looked laughable (those dumbasses) but to the untrained human eye, she looked normal, for a second, until they saw some weird emerald necklace thingy that she was wearing around her neck. What the hell was it? No one was exactly sure but most of Tatiana's friends assumed that it was probably a piece of crap that only Tatiana found to be cool. Case in point: a old computer mouse thing that she stole from one of her friends (Hey! No one was using it.) and used it was a communicator to contact people in other dimensions. (A/n: I am not making this up. As sure as my piss is yellow, that really did happen). Tatiana finally reached the house that her friend lived in. It was a big blue house. Well, duplex actually but the family that lived there referred to it as a house to make them on top feel rich and special. Slowly she walked up the concrete stairs and then came face to face with the door. She pressed the doorbell, Tatiana's style, which was pressing it and re pressing it and continuing just to annoy the hell out of the person who was answering the door. Tatiana heard a loud and angry voice that yelled "I'M COMING! I'M COMING! HOLD YOUR GODDANM HORSES!" Suddenly, the door swoon open to revel a girl with dark brown hair, but not as dark as Tatiana's. This chick is now known as Natasha.

Natasha looked a quite a bit different than Tatiana. Despite the fact that she almost a year older than Tatiana, she looked younger. Natasha wasn't exactly what you called tall. She was about 5 feet and 3 inches in height. But Natasha convinced everyone that she was gonna have a growth spurt soon and that she might reach be to be 5'8'. Sadly, Natasha was saying for over a year. Moving on, she had a childlike face with freckles. According to a lot of people, she was pretty but moving down from her face, there was another story. Looking at her chest, it was kinda flat for a fifteen year old girl. Natasha wore the same bra size since the middle of 7th grade, so therefore, she was convinced that she was going to be an A cup forever. Her outfit of today consisted of a tank top that said "New York" on it and jeans. She looked at Tatiana.

Natasha: Godanmit Tatiana, I was watching TV in my mom's room.

Tatiana: Uh, don't you have a TV in this living room?

Natasha: Well, yeah, but I lost the remote. And I think it's under the couch pillow.

But I'm too lazy to find it.

Tatiana: But aren't there TV's both in your room and your Aunt Jennifer's room?

Natasha: Yes, but the cable in my room doesn't work, not since Holly browed my PS2. It got screwed up somehow. And I can't watch in Jen's room or else she's gonna bitch about something random I did.

Tatiana cocked an eyebrow at her friend's response.

Tatiana: Uh, okay then.

Tatiana set foot inside the house and closed the door behind her. Natasha noticed the necklace around Tatiana's neck.

Natasha: What's that? (pointing to the necklace)

Tatiana: It's a necklace. DUHHHH!

Natasha's expression on her face looked like she just got her feelings hurt.

Natasha: Uh, I knew that! It's just a strange looking necklace, that's all.

Tatiana: It's a family heirloom, for your In-Fo-mation! And according to my momma, this belonged to my great-great grandma! Look how pretty it issssssss!

Natasha looked at the weird emerald necklace. She assumed that it was a star of some sort. The sharp edges were made of plain copper and in the middle was the huge emerald stone.

Natasha (looking at the necklace): Yeah, your mom would know alright.

Natasha (thinking to herself): Oh Jesus, here she goes again. Getting some piece of shit and pretending it gold. I feel bad saying that cause, it her family heirloom, but still, why is she wearing it? It's probably about a hundred years old. I don't wear my family heirlooms or carry them around in public. Especially in this neighborhood.

Natasha glanced at the mirror right next to the dining table. That's were all her family's old stuff was. From the pictures of her great grandparents, to the books that her great grandfather wrote (he was a writer). She sighed. In her opinion, heirlooms were just something you looked at to remind you that the old days sucked, not something you carried around you like a moron, like Tatiana.

Natasha looked up at her.

Natasha: Why don't you make yourself at home. I'll join you in a minute. I gotta look for something

Tatiana: Look for what?

Natasha: A book.

Tatiana: What kind of book?

Natasha: You know that book I was reading that the brother and sister do it and-

Tatiana: Ok! Never mind.

Natasha laughed. The book she was referring to was Flower's in the Attic. A great read indeed, well at least for her. It was about 4 children who are locked in an attic by their selfish grandmother and their weak and passive mother did nothing to help. They were locked in an attic for 3 and a half years and during that time, the older brother and sister, have a, uh, intimate relationship. Despite the fact that there were closely related (not to mention their parents were, as well), they seemed to love each other. Not as family love, but the way that two people in love would actually love each other would. If only someone would love her like that. She had boyfriends before, but they weren't special but what kind of relationship would be special at fourteen or fifteen? Anyway, Natasha was looking for it's sequel; Petals in the Wind. Her aunt Jennifer told her that they had it somewhere in their bookcase, which was also the place were all her great grandfathers books were! DUN DUN DUN!

She scanned the bookcase. Nope, she couldn't find it. Maybe they didn't own it and Jennifer threw it out and forgot that she did. Oh, well she can always get it a Barnes and Noble for 7 bucks. She was just gonna join Tatiana in her room when something caught her eye. It was a book in the book case, just like any other book but this one looked different. On it's spine, I didn't say anything. Mind you, it is really easy to attract Natasha's attention and this was no different. She grabbed the book out of it's shelve and looked on the front cover. No words there either. She then opened the book and scanned it's pages. Still no words.

Natasha: Probably some old ass notebook from the 40's.

Natasha was about to put the book away when she actually saw words in the book.

Natasha: Holy shit! They weren't there a second ago!

Natasha almost dropped to book from being freak out but she was able to catch it with her hands. She opened the book again to find the words still there.

Natasha: What the hell! Am I imagining this?

Natasha read an exert book but after a couple of words or two, she realized that it wasn't in English. The words read "Ha Ja Ma Esko SEEEE DOM DELUISE'S ASS UP HIS ASS DDDDD akko"

Natasha ran to her room with the book in her left hand. She noticed that Tatiana's necklace was on her vanity and that she was playing Kingdom Hearts (I know! I finally mention it! Ode to Joy by Beeththoven plays in the backround).

Natasha: Why aren't you wearing your necklace?

Tatiana: Oh, it got too uncomfortable. If I didn't take it off soon, then I would probably gotten a rash on my neck or something.

Natasha glanced at the necklace. The menu of Kingdom Hearts popped up on the TV screen to show a teenage boy with a weird outfit on. He had some kind of straw in his mouth.

Tatiana: Can I start a new game on your memory card? I forgot mines.

Natasha: Why do you wanna start a new game?

Tatiana: Cause, I haven't played this game in ages, pleeeze?

Natasha rolled her eyes.

Natasha: Fine, but lemme tell you something first.

Natasha glided over to her bed that Tatiana was sitting on. She had her finger as a placeholder. She opened the book.

Natasha: Look here! Amazing, isn't? I think it's a witch craft book. Maybe it's written in Hebrew. Probably Hebrew.

Tatiana: It looks French.

Natasha: French? Where the hell do you get French?

Tatiana: I'm just suggesting. It might be Russian.

Natasha: Russian? Now you're being stupid.

Tatiana: Uh, Japanese?

Natasha: African?

Tatiana Portuguese?

Natasha: Armenian?

Tatiana: Canadian?

Natasha: Wait, wait! I'll read it out loud and you'll guess what language it is. Okay?

Tatiana: Sure but I'll be only half listening. I'm gonna set the controls for this game before I start.

Natasha cleared her throat.

Natasha: Ha Ja Ma Esko SEEEE DOM DELUISE'S ASS UP HIS ASS DDDDD akko. What do you think it sounds like?

Tatiana didn't answer. Natasha turned to face her. Tatiana's mouth was open and her eyes were wide. Natasha turned her head to see what she was looking at. The emerald necklace had risen from it's place and up in mid air and a huge flash that almost blinded the girls. When the flash was gone, a portal appeared. From the looks of it, the portal looked really dark. Tatiana got up her spot.

Natasha: What the Bob Saget are you doing?

Tatiana: I'm gonna check it out.

Natasha: Okay.

Natasha stupidly got up from where she was sitting. The two girls walked up to the portal thing and before they knew it, they were zapped into it. DUN. DUN. DUNNNNNNNN!11

Both of them found themselves in total darkness. They weren't sure if they were standing on ground but if they weren't, then how come it didn't feel like they were falling? Natasha felt a shortage of breath and Tatiana tried to look for her by using her hands but she couldn't feel anything, nothing at all. All she could her was Natasha's voice, her annoying whining voice.

Natasha: Tatiana?

Tatiana: Yeah?

Natasha: I'm scared.

Tatiana: You don't think I am too?

Suddenly, they heard a voice that sounded awfully familiar.

I have been having these weird thoughts lately. Like, is any of this for real or not?

A deep, dark, and powerful silence. Unfortunately, someone just had to ruin it.

Natasha: What the hell does that even mean?

Tatiana: That sounded like Haley Joel Osment.

Suddenly a faint techno beat came into their ears.

Natasha: Do you hear that?

Tatiana: Yeah, it sounds like the shit you listen to.

Natasha: Shut up! At least I don't listen to Legend of Zelda music.

The techno beat became louder and louder. Tatiana was thinking of a snappy comeback when she thought of something that might explain this weirdness.

Tatiana: Natasha!

Natasha: What?

Tatiana: I think were in-

But before Tatiana could explain her point, the scenery changed from complete Darkness to a tropical island. It was tropically. It had tons of palm trees and other trees that I can't even name. There was sand on the outskirts of the island making it a beach. And most importantly, there was seawater surrounding the island making it look, as I said before, tropically. A boy that had a lame ass wannabe Ryan Caberra haircut and was wearing engine red overalls stood on the beach. He was the same boy who was on the TV screen a minute ago with that weird thingy in his mouth. It only took a second to recognize who he was and more importantly, where they were.

Natasha and Tatiana: KINGDOM HEARTS!

The boy, now known as Sora, was starring dream, er, I mean, closely, Yes, that's right. Closely, at another boy who looked older than him. For the most part, he was pretty sexy except for two things. One: he wore parachute pants. What the hell! No one wears parachute pants in the 21st century. No one! Two: he had gray hair that hung down from his head. Okay, I know this is Final Fantasy and all but he seriously mentally ill if he thinks that he's gonna get laid with that hair style. Other than that, he was sexy. He had pretty eyes and according to Tatiana, Natasha just might jump his bones. This guy is now known as Riku. Riku was in the water and about twenty feet away from where Sora was. He looked at upcoming wave like, I don't know (A/n: Listen, I'm totally brain fried right now so you're gonna have to bare with me, ok?). He turned to face Sora and reached out his hand, so Sora could grab it.

Natasha: Don't tell me he's gonna run in the water with him?

Tatiana: Natasha, don't you remember what happens?

Natasha: Oh….oh, yeah

Sora ran to Riku but before he could catch his hand, the wave swallowed them up (Didn't they see that coming?).

Tatiana: YAY! Fight the man!

Since the boys were underwater, and the girls were over water, it was hard to tell what was going on between Riku and Sora. Natasha and her ever so trusting eyes tried to guess what was going on.

Natasha: They look like there wrestling

Tatiana looked at Natasha with a weird expression on her face.

Meanwhile, the techno beat turned into a song (as you know) and it didn't make a bit of sense, at least in English. And for all for those dumbasses who have to point out every homosexual reference out there or say things like "OMG! HE LIKEZ HIZ BEST FRIEND AZ A BROTHER! THEY MUST B GAY LOVERZ, hearing the love/theme song of Kingdom Hearts, especially the lyric, Don't get me wrong I love you, but does that mean I have to meet you're father? and seeing Riku and Sora together made you wonder, didn't it?

Suddenly, the sky turned from sky blue to orangey pink. Sora emerged from the water but where was Riku? Well, that didn't matter now because this was the scene were we meet the shallow-kinda hot- flat cheasted- retarded-love interest of Sora and Riku's! Kairi! Yay! Clap people! There she was. A girl with reddish brown hair and a chest flatter than a book cover, and wearing clothes that would be fit for some 12 year old girl who wants to shop at Abercrombie and Fitch but can't cause she too small. She was waving out to Sora and was calling his name. He ran over to her, wet clothes and everything. She bent down to look at his face, for some reason. Then they both looked up at the sky to see Sora, himself, falling from the sky. But wait! Wasn't Sora right next to Kairi?

Natasha: What the hell is going on?

Tatiana: Yeah. And how come they haven't noticed us yet? We been standing right next to them for about twenty minutes now.

Then, my friends, things got weirder than before. Sora (the one next to Kairi), seemed to fall down into the water, even though he was on shore and the water is only 1 inch thick from were he was standing. Kairi really did nothing to help reached out her hand which would be impossible for Sora to grab. Then, like magic, Sora disappeared while Kairi just stood there looking down at the water. She sighed.

Kairi: Hmmm. That was strange. (pause) I'm gonna see what Riku doing! Wherever the hell he is!

And then like that, she was gone. Natasha, puzzled from what just happened, turned to Tatiana for answers. She was surprised to see Tatiana looking pissed off.

Natasha: Tatiana, are you okay?

Tatiana made some noise that sounded like she was constipated.

Tatiana: GAHHHH! No one takes my man away from me and gets away with it!

Natasha: Your man? What are you talk-

But before Natasha could finish her sentence, Tatiana grabbed her arm and together plunged underwater to find Sora. Surprisingly, it didn't feel like they were underwater nor were they actually wet. You know when you're under water and every time you try talking, nothing but bubbles comes out? Well, technically, the girls were underwater, but it didn't feel like it. So therefore, the bubble rule didn't apply to them and that's exactly why Tatiana heard what Natasha said to her.

Natasha: What the hell was that for?

Tatiana: Be quiet! We must go searching for Sora.

Natasha: But why?

Tatiana: Because I say so!

Natasha (sarcastically): Oh yeah, that's a great reason.

Tatiana: Sssh! There he is!

The girls found Sora landing on a platform. They swam faster to catch up to him. The three landed on the platform at the same time. Dirt came up from the ground and mysteriously turned into doves. It revealed the first true Disney princess (you know, the one with the annoying voice), Snow White. It was a stained glass portrait of her biting into the apple because she was retarded, really she was. Around her, were stained glass pictures of the seven dwarves and chipmunks. The techno song stopped and some Mozart song began. Sora turned around to look at his settings and saw the two girls (finally!).

Sora: Who the hell are you two?

Natasha: Uhhhh, we're, um-

Tatiana: FAIRIES!

Sora and Natasha: FAIRIES!

Tatiana: Yes. Fairies sent by the Great Dookie Tree.

Natasha: (in a whisper) Tats this isn't Legend of Zelda.

Tatiana: (whispered back) Just play along and maybe we can get some ass!

Natasha: (A/n lady writer# 2 aka Tatiana: Ok we know they're speaking in whisper so what's the point in saying it, eh?) How am I gonna get ass in this game?

Tatiana: From Riku, silly and or Hayner!

Natasha: Oh. (to Sora) Yeah we're here to watch you.

Sora: But if you're fairies, where are you're wings?

Tatiana: The mean old Dookie Tree cut them off, ok? (Sniffles) You are so mean!

Then a mysterious voice says: So much to do. So little time. Take your time. Don't be Afraid. The Door is still shut. Now step forward. Can you do it?

After hearing this, the two girls decided to put their two senses into it.

Natasha: What the hell! What door?

Tatiana: BUT I AM AFRAID!

Sora, then anime sweat dropped at his so called "watchers". Hell, he even thought they were STALKERS. Anyway Sora went forward into the middle onto Snow White's dress. He looked in the light when Tatiana blurted out: Is he looking for Jesus? Then nine stones popped up then the voice said: The power sleeps within you .If you give it more It will give you strength Choose Well.

As the voice was talking nine weapons appeared: A sword, a shield, a staff, a pistol, a shot gun, a bag, a pair of Sais, daggers and a kunai.

Sora chose the sword. Natasha chose the shot gun, and Tatiana chose the pair of Sais.

They gave up the shield, the bag (it had bombs in it), and the kunai.

The glass shatter and they fell onto a Cinderella stain glass. (WTH? Why the Bob Saget does she have brown hair!) The three stood on the glass when the weapons appeared in their hands, then all of a sudden a few black thingies appeared and the three beat the shit out of them. (Woo hoo! Go us!)

Behind you!

As more black thingies appeared, the three continued to beat the shit out of them.

Then, a black hole swallowed them up and the Cinderella platform disappeared.

They found themselves on the outlined of three princess platform. In the middle was a

weird door. The three walked up to it and examined it.

Sora: I CAN'T OPEN IT! WHAT THE HELL?

Tatiana: Maybe it doesn't like you?

Then a treasure chest appeared, the three walked up to it to only find nothing in it.

Natasha: What the hell!

Then a huge ass box appeared and stupidly Sora pushed it. Natasha shot the crate and out came a potion which Tatiana grabbed. Then they destroyed some shit that randomly appeared. The door then became openable and then Sora opened it to reveal the island he lives on but to his dismay, it was only a deck. He looked around to see his friends; Tidus, Wakka and Selphie. He groaned at the fact it wasn't Kairi and Riku. So being retarded, he went up to Selphie and she asked.

Selphie: What is most important to you?

A) Being number one

B) Friendship

C) My prize possessions

Sora: Being number one!

Natasha: (snorts in disgusts)

Selphie: Is being number one such a big deal?

Then he walked up to Wakka, who was smiling like a dumbass.

Wakka: What do you want outta life?

A) To see rare sights

B) To broaden my horizons

C) To be Strong

Sora: To see rare sights!

Wakka: To see rare sights, huh?

He finally walked up to tight ass I mean Tidus.

Tidus: What are you afraid of?

A) Getting Old

B) Being different

C) Being indecisive

Sora: Being indecisive!

Tatiana: Mines is being different, ya know?

Natasha: HAHAHA! Nice impression!

Tidus: Is being indecisive really so scary?

Voice: You wanted to be stronger

To see rare sights and

You are afraid of being indecisive

The adventure begins at dawn,

As long as the sun is shining,

Your journey should be a pleasant one

The day you will open the door is both far off and very near

Natasha: What the Bob Saget does that mean?

They were soon back in the dark place again.

Tatiana: OH NO THE DARK IT'S BACK!

This time they were standing on the Aurora stain glass platform. A light appeared in the middle of the stain glass. Sora walked towards the light. Suddenly more black thingies appeared. As always the three beat the shit out of them. Then magical stairs appeared, and the three ran up the stairs onto a Beauty and the Beast platform. As soon as Tatiana stepped onto the platform, the stairs disappeared noting that they could not turn back.

Voice: The closer you get to light the greater your shadow is.

Natasha: Naw! You think?

Then the three looked behind them to see their shadows were growing and merging into one.

Tatiana: Ew.

After they merged the shadow popped out to reveal the boss Darkside.

Voice: But don't be afraid

And don't forget

The three teens were attacking the Darkside's hand knowing they couldn't reach his face.

Tatiana: El muchacho es nosotros en mierda profunda (Translation: Boy, are we in deep shit)

Natasha: Je me sens comme la merde complete (I feel like complete shit)

Sora: What are you two speaking?

Natasha: Our native tongues.

Tatiana: Mines is Spanish and Natasha's is French!

Natasha: (whispering) Tats, you hardly know any Spanish and I hardly know any French.

Tatiana: Just play along.

After much hard work, they finally beat that huge ass black thingy…..

THE END!

Just kidding! It's just the end of the chapter, of course. Look out for the next chapter, Tatiana finds her mini disk and we annoy everyone on Destiny Island. God forbid! Oh, and please review. Thanks much!