Disclaimer – I own nothing remotely related to Criminal Minds!
Hi here is another story thanks to cleaning out my laptop, I wrote it not long after the episode 'Risky Business' but for some reason decided not to post it. This story takes place on the plane home after the episode Revelations and has flashback/dream sequence to times before the episode/series in an attempt to explain why, in Revelations, JJ wanted to be blamed for Reid's disappearance and why she called Hotch a bully, because it always kind of bugged me seeing as they always seemed respectful towards each other.
Hope you enjoy and please review and let me know what you think.
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A small light was visible from the end of the plane; he could see Reid lying fast asleep on the couch in front of him, deep in troublesome sleep. Gideon was sitting opposite him, dozing but in a position that he could watch over the youngest man on the team, by just opening his eyes. Morgan, Garcia and Prentiss were at the table. The ambassadors' daughter was curled up over the two seats on the far side and Morgan had his earphones in, with his head tilted back, while Garcia was resting her head on his shoulder lost to the land of nod.
It had been a tough case for all of them, not knowing where their friend was, watching the horrors he was going through and not being able to do anything to stop it. They had all been so focused on Reid that it slipped his mind that his most reliable media liaison might be finding it difficult to deal with her own harrowing ordeal.
Hotch silently stood up and made his way to the soft glow at the back of the plane. JJ had her knees tucked under her chest. Her eyes were wide and her good arm was covering the bandaged one. Quietly, he took the seat in front of the wide eyed Pennsylvanian. He startled her and berated himself internally for not talking to her sooner, she had obviously been tormenting herself and he knew what that can do to people.
"You should be trying to get some sleep." His voice was barely above a whisper to in order to not disturb the others.
"I tried. It didn't exactly go so well." She was blatantly exhausted as she was letting her guard down around him, something the liaison rarely did. Hotch knew nightmares well and JJ had never objected to talking to him before, so he pressed on. "You want to talk about it?"
She instantly shook her head. "There isn't much to talk about Hotch. I feel guilty about Reid. I'm the senior agent I should have stopped him from going off. It was my fault he went through what he did and I feel that everyone else should come to the same conclusion. That it was my fault. I feel like I could really do with a scalding hot shower and three weeks sleep. And ooh I don't think I'm going to get a dog any time soon."
He smirked thankful she had some kind humour left in side of her as she rolled her eyes.
"JJ it wasn't your fault, you said it yourself, he was the one that went off by himself. I'm not blaming Reid either, the position you two found yourselves in was unavoidable, we had no idea that Henkel was the UNSUB at the time. I need to know you're not going to keep blaming yourself over this JJ. I need to know you're going to be okay because you're the one I count on the most around here. I know that's unfair and selfish of me but this team depends on you a lot more than I think you and they are even aware of, I know I do." He sat there watching her reaction when she remained stoic a trade usually associated to him he kept speaking.
"Do just one thing for me okay" She nodded for him to continue "When we get back, talk to someone about it, don't keep your emotions bottled up. It doesn't have to be me or anyone on the team but please just talk to someone okay?"
She nodded again then sighed "Hotch I'm sorry for calling you a bully, we've moved on from there, it wasn't necessary or appropriate, I just..."
He interrupted her with a raised hand. "JJ, stop it's alright. We both know what you were referring to and you were right I can be a bully when I want to be. We didn't necessarily get off on the right foot and you were right to call me on it."
"No, I shouldn't have said it Hotch. Things have changed a lot over the last two years and I want you to know that I do respect you and value your friendship. I do, I was just blaming myself and taking it out on you."
"JJ there is no need to even address the issue again okay we've just come out of a very stressful situation and we're good. Try and close your eyes for a little while there is still a good hour and a half before we land. I'll be right here if you need anything or if you just want to talk." He was trying to reassure her that everything was going to be okay, that someone was there if she needed someone.
"Thanks" she offered him a small smile and closed her eyes.
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JJ's thoughts drifted, she was in Henkel's barn and her heart was pounding she could hear a low threatening growl, her gun was raised as she turned. Her long deceased, teenage sister, dressed in her favourite blue dress, was standing there watching the blonde closely, "You know it's your fault, everyone knows it, hell even mom told you so. What are going to do now, little sis?" She put her gun down confused as to why her older sister would be in barn, taunting her.
"I don't understand. You shouldn't be here, I'm looking for Reid." JJ became flustered as her sister sniggered.
"Aww, poor little Jenny bear. You know you could have stopped him going off right? Just like you could have stopped me going off, I came to you Jenny, you knew something was up the moment I gave you my necklace, no wonder mom sent you off to Aunt Millie's after I died, she saw right through you just like your beloved team will. People need you Jenny and what do you do. You let them go."
"Stop it!" she practically yelled to her sister to stop blaming her for everything but a deafening scream behind he made her turn away when she looked back her sister was gone.
She stood there breathing heavily, surrounded by darkness. There was another scream, the direction of the piercing noise came from was behind a wooden screen near the back of the barn. Hesitantly with her gun drawn the trained investigative agent went to look behind it. Pushing the screen aside, JJ's breath caught at the sight in front of her. On the floor crying was Polly, a victim from a previous case near her hometown in North Mammon.
"Polly shh it's going to be okay, are you hurt, did someone hurt you?" JJ rubbed her back trying to soothe the crying teenager, "what's wrong?"
"We need to leave here" Polly looked damaged but uninjured. The curly haired girl stood and made her way towards the door of the barn when JJ grabbed her arm. "Polly we can't just leave I need to find Reid."
"He's already gone Jennifer, you let him go."
Polly turned and walked through the door, JJ knew that this wasn't reality but everything seemed so real. She followed Polly through the barn door and instead of being outside in the cool Georgia night air she found herself in the middle of her office back in Quantico.
"Why are we here Polly, we shouldn't be here."
The low growl could be heard again, it sounded as though it was coming from behind the desk.
"Polly it's not safe here we have to go. I really should find Reid"
"You're not listening JJ your not a profiler, what could you possibly do?" Polly was just staring straight towards her. JJ had been told that before. That she wasn't a profiler so what could she do. It wasn't Polly who had said it. It was Hotch on her first official case with the BAU.
Someone knocked on the door to her office, she left Polly standing in the middle of the room and went to answer it but instead of someone being there she walked into the middle of a familiar crime scene.
"Agent Jareau?" A familiar voice was calling her, a soft drizzle was making her straightened blonde hair static.
JJ turned to her left and she saw Hotch approaching her. "Agent Jareau?"
"What's wrong Hotch, is it Reid?" He looked at her warily, as though he had no idea what was going on.
"I need you to talk to the Stephenson's, you need to make them believe that their son hasn't made it, we think one of them is involved." The profiler's jaw was set and his expression was stern.
"Hotch, I've told you I can't do that." JJ shook her head, the familiar nerves formed a pit at the bottom of her stomach. "I don't think they're responsible for this. It makes no sense"
"Agent Jareau, if you can't handle the job then you shouldn't be here."
She looked at him in disbelief, "What if they're not involved, I tell them that their kid is dead then they find out we actually have no idea what has happened to him, I can't put them through that. Sir the Stephenson's are a dysfunctional family but they're not murderers, we should be looking at their son's teachers and coaches. You said it yourself, the UNSUB needs constant contact with teenagers, if you just let me..."
He pinched the bridge of his nose, "Agent Jareau, you are not a profiler, what possibly could you do in this situation, other than what I ask of you? What your job does require you to do is to deal with the media, keep the locals and families informed of our progress. The rest of this team does what I ask of them and right now I want you to go and tell the Luke's parents that he hasn't made it."
JJ bit her lower lip before she replied determinedly. "Sir the families are victims too"
He stood over her almost threateningly "Agent Jareau I know that you're new with us and that you're previous unit may have had a different work ethic but here in the BAU when I tell you to do something, you do it. Am I understood?"
There was another low growl from behind her, she turned hand on her holster but instead of the expectant dog being present there was a mob of reporters and flashing lights off of cameras, disorientating her and she woke with a jolt.
...****************************************************************************
"You okay?" Hotch was staring at her in concern, a frown creased his forehead as JJ struggled to calm her breathing.
Shrugging, the liaison straightened in the comfy seat, resting her hands on the table that separated them. "Just a bad dream"
"Dogs?" Hotch asked with a raised eye as she shook her head. "No, just random thoughts"
Lowering his eyes to his hands entwined in front of him, Hotch cleared his throat looking round at his other resting colleagues before responding. "Luke Stephenson?"
Sighing, JJ tilted her head at his guilty demeanour. "Hotch I thought we weren't going to talk about this again?"
"JJ, I'm sorry that when you first joined the team that I was such a pain. I didn't think you could hack the job because I didn't know you and I was trying to prove myself right. I know that making you lie to families and yelling at you in front of everyone was undermining to your position as communication liaison. I never meant to take out my frustrations on you." Hotch ran a hand though his short, dark hair thankful that his younger counterpart was allowing him to talk and reassuring him with a little nod. "We had just lost a lot of colleagues in Boston and I was trying to establish my position as Unit chief. It took me a while to see that I was wrong because I'd rather deal with UNSUBS than the emotions of those around me. I never wanted you to think of me as a bully."
He seemed desperate for her to accept his apology and that human concern brought a small smile to JJ's lips. Leaning forward, she delicately covered his larger hands with hers. "Hotch, you really don't need to apologize, we worked through it, we're good now. The whole team is going to be okay. You won't let us break."
They both sat there looking at each other, silently acknowledging that they had to move past this tension that had resurfaced. JJ smiled again and he returned the favour. The easy silence continued until the plane lights came back on, a signal that they were about to land and the other occupants began to stir. No more words were exchanged about the bullying topic nor did Hotch feel the need to check up on JJ again, like he would with Reid. He knew that there was a long way to go until the team were fully recovered, but that small reassuring smile she gave him was to show that they'd get through it and he believed her. A lot had changed in the last two years, but the respect he had for the woman in front of him was one of the most significant.
...
This is unbeta'd so all mistakes are mine and also, if any of this sounds familiar I may have used some of this in another fic, I can't remember if I actually did or not, but let's pretend I didn't. Hope someone out there likes it!