NOTE: I do not own any of the Twilight saga's. But I do adore the stories! I was inspired to do this by the last book...Eclipse. I stared crying in the last pages when Jacob left. I was so heart broken. I thought the way Jacob would feel.So I decided to put it in here. Now please don't be upset. I have a cold and just took some medicine. I'm a bit sleepy and so yeah. I've writtne stories before, but I haven't done Twilight stories yet. Flame me if you want. I'm going to bed after this. And I'm sorry I couldnt' make it long enough. Dont hate me. I might do other stories though. Please read and check out my other stories. Thank you! nn
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No More
I had wanted nothing more. I only desired you. Why did you choose me over him? I would have given you anything, anything if you had just choosen me. But no more. No more. He's now gone. Jacob Black is no longer alive. I left the old Jacob Black behind. You have no idea the pain I felt when you were with him. My heart had been breaking those moment's you spent with that blood sucker. I could have given you the love you desired. Those pleasureable kisses I layed up your lips were only meant for you and no one else. If only you understood.
Bella, I thought. I love you.
I stopped by a near by lake. I looked at myself. My rusted coat soked from the rain that had fallen minutes ago. I let out a soft whine. I wanted to cry. I wanted to stop hurting. Never again. Never again will I go back. I made up my mind. That damn blood sucker. He took you away from me. He stole the love I had wanted to give you. Now the life you had onced wished for will be taken away from you once you become one of them.
My dear Bella. You shot pain into me. You finally broke me. Though, never can I be mad at you. The only pain you caused, is getting married and becoming my worst nightmare.
I was your sheild. I was your friend. I was your protector. I was your brother. I could have been your lover. If only you would have given me a chance to show you. But I least I know that you return my feelings. At least I know that you love me, too. I had known all along. But, the love I had given you, will never match the love He gives you in return.
I had healed part of you're broken heart when He left you. I had showed you, that I would always be their when you needed me the most. My life was for you. I desired to imprint on you.But obviously it didn't work as this is something I cannot force. No one should force anything to happen as fate and destiny have prechosen this fate. So, I will not try to ever do it again. I wish for you to be happy. And I to be alone. But, so far, I feel pain. I feel pain all over. I know my heart is broken, for it will never heal. So I ran. I ran as far as I could to leave those memories behind. To leave the pain that was inside of me. To leave them all behind. To never remember. If only I can do that. Only my other shape can remeber.
GAHHH! I shouted with a howl. Damn this life, damn my love for you!
No one can help me now. I must help my self, as my ancestors did before me and the others. I will become one with the wolf. I will follow the heart broken tribe leader of long ago. I will become one. My old self never to be seen again. I will not return to La Push. I will not go to the wedding. I will love no one else. I will never return ever again. My mind is now made up. My heart will no mend, nor do I need it. I wish to be forgotten. I wish to be alone.
My dear Bella, please be happy. Forget who I was. I don't want you to remember. Be one of Them. Be who you want to be. Only know, that you hurt my soul and heart. Know that I will love you forever. And understand, that I will never come back, and for you to not come looking for me. This is my wish. To be lost and forgoten by all. Bella...I layed on the floor. My head resting on my huge paws by the lake. I closed my eyes, and breathed in and out slowly. I needed rest for the moment, then soon I would be off again.
It didn't matter that Bella had chosen someone else over me. Not any more. The agony was nothing at all. I could live with it. I could live with it for all I cared. It didn't matter at all any more. Now that Bella was giving up her life to become a non-living human being with cold touches and a dead heart with nothing to live for, why should I be the one to care. A monster. A stranger.
Don't kill her...I growled. Don't kill her... The thought raged in my head over and over again that it started to hurt. But what if I...?
To kill her. To see her standing in front of me, crystallized. That scared me to hell. I would want to tear her, rip her to shreads with the pain of her scent. Could I possably want to kill her? Would I truly, deeply, kill my Bella? I don't think I would. I wouldn't.
The rain stopped. The forest was quiet, not a single sound could be heard. The water was still and peaceful. I looked at the sky. Today, an eclipse would be setting in. A new moon had been sent in along time ago. I stood up and shook my fur dry. I whimpered again. I was at my breaking point. Breaking down would possably be the best answere for all this, but I wouldn't allow it. I was so depressed.
Love me, Bella. That's all I ever asked from you. And when you did, I felt complete, I felt loved. But love Him even more than me. Show him the love I wanted from you, that just done did it. I shook my head.
The moon slid up to the sky. I watched as the stars danced onto the pitch black rug of darkness. My imagination took over me. I let it wonder toward the beach Bella and I used to go to be alone. The way I would grab her hand and lead her behnd me. I would comfort her when no one else would. I showed her a friend. Then it finally came. All the pain I felt came. I howled. I let the crying consume me. I was finally breaking down. My breaking point hit me like a tone of bricks. My heart broke into many tiny fragments. Sadness shot me.
Jacob, don't give up. I love you Jacob. Please come home...
Bella! I heard her voice. I looked around in panic. She was no where. Am I going crazy?
No! I wouldn't let this happen. I was not going to let her get the better of me. I was not. She was but a long away memorie left behind with the old Jacob Black. The new Jacob wouldn't let this get to him. He would fight it. I gave a harder growl.
Get the hell out of my mind!
I couldn't hear her voice anymore. She was gone for good. She wouldn't return. I was satisfied. I'll wash her away. She'll be but a memory to me.
Up in the sky, an eclipse was over head. It was just setting over the bright moon. It was being covered. Soon the whole land will be filled with nothing but darkness. No light to shed upon such a place of lonelyness. I laughed at it. Darkness was my place. I actually felt alive at a point.
Getting up from the ground I began running. I ran like the devil was at my tail. I wouldn't stop for anything or anyone. No longer could my pack hear my thoughts, I couldn't even hear theirs. I would never see them again. I wouldn't see any one ever again. No more Charlie, no more Billy, no more Edward, and no more Bella. Defentliy, no more Bella. She was the past, and the past is over, I must look to the present. I must see the the future. What a shame that I would have to miss the wedding. But I woudn't miss seeing Bella being turned into a vampire herself. I would much rather die than see that.
Forget me, forget who I used to be. I am no longer human. I am but a beast who runs free. For I know what I must do. I know what needs to be done to forget those I love and would die for. Please forget me.
Forget me, forget who I am. I should be forgotten, and nothing more. Bella, forget me, please...
I am a new Jacob Black, and I'm proud of it. Now I have forgotten all of you. I don't remember. Never shall I come home. I feel no pain or sadness now. I have now moved on. The future is upon me. I look back to nothing or nobody. My heart is now cold and shattered. I am a nothing. Allow me to live freely and peacfully. Let me go and never return to my past where my heart was broken by the one girl I fell in love with, the one girl who chose Him over me. The one girl I thought would make me complete, but instead, you changed my life forever.
Good-bye, Bella...
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Ha! I'm finally done! I'm so proud of myself. But I'm very sleepy as well. I hope you liked this story. I worked hard on it. But I couldnt thing to properly. I kept getting words mixed up...sorry! But again, I'm sorry if it couldn't be long enough for you all. If I do another one of these, I'll try to make it longer, promise. Please check out my profile and stroies. I'm sure you'll like them very much. Talk to you all later...or something. Sniff, sniff Good-bye.
Caruta Uzumicha
