This is my attempt at a humourous/fluffy fic with Severus and Hermione. the idea of it hit me like a bludger and kept on hitting me till I wrote it.
Please review and tell me what you think. Love, Lucia.
'Armadillo bile,' Hermione spat at the stone gargoyles in anger. She was meant to meet Headmaster Snape about her possible appointment as the Transfigurations Professor five minutes ago. For these last minutes she had desperately tried to guess the password, naming any sweet, if the password was set for the memory of Dumbledore, or potion ingredient which came to mind.
Straightening the crumpled parchment of the letter she had received, she scanned through the scrawly, but confident, handwriting to see whether she had missed the mention of a password. No such luck. This must be a test, she thought, imagining the tall dark man sitting up in his office and snickering about her inadequacy to guess the password.
A silky purr shook her out of her grumbling and she dropped the parchment she had been crumpling. 'Excuse the delay, Miss Granger.'
'Headmaster Snape,' she greeted, scrambling to pick up the paper. She noticed that he didn't have his signature billowing robes on today, but it didn't make him less menacing. Even though his hair wasn't as greasy anymore, he'd always be the greasy git of the dungeons for her because seemingly his attitude hadn't changed all that much.
'Veritaserum.' The gargoyle glided aside, allowing Snape to step inside. Hermione followed swiftly, rolling her eyes and cursing her own stupidity for not guessing that password.
'Having a few issues?' she muttered under her breath, mentally slapping herself as she realised she had said it out loud.
'No, it's just the password of the week,' came his curt reply and she could hear a badly concealed snicker added to it, too. The nerve the man had! His presence made her feel like she was again a first year, not a possible professor.
'Yes or no?' he asked as he sat down at his desk, his dark gaze scrutinizing her as though she was a student apt to cheat on a test.
Hermione hadn't managed even to get seated, lest to answer a question. 'Yes or no to what?' she demanded, huffing and sitting down on the next available chair without asking permission. She refused to fear him, that was a promise made to herself.
'To the offer of employment that I had stated in the letter and paperwork in which I sent to you. I do not wish to repeat all of it, as it would be a waste of my limited time. I will not try to sweet talk you into acceptance, even though you are the best possible candidate for this post, but if you decline the offer to join Hogwarts staff, I'll have to contact the next best candidate…' He made a dramatic pause, enjoying how she squirmed in her seat, probably fighting the temptation to jump up and wave her hand as an insolent first year.
Even though he found her temper and behaviour a little too feverish at times, there was no denying that she was an excellent Transfigurations Mistress as well as a formidably powerful witch. And she wasn't too hard on the eyes, either. Maybe not a striking beauty, but, with her now curly hair and soft brown eyes she looked rather...how would he put it...cute? Yes, that'd be the right word, he summed up.
Though he'd rather not encounter her at night in a dark alley. It wouldn't be too 'cute' to have her wand pointing at his throat. What was he thinking?
'I do! I want to accept!' She jumped up from her seat, impatience shining in her eyes. Obviously she hadn't lost the fervour she had in her student years, he concluded.
He managed to lead further negotiations in a smooth and quick manner, as the young woman was so elated that he was rather sure she'd agree to reside next to the Giant Squid only to acquire the position. What a joy it was to know that her freelance Transfigurations work had neither been very challenging, nor rewarding. From certain sources he knew that she was struggling with funding her experiments.
He was more than happy to give her all the funding needed. Severus had gotten Malfoy Senior to oversee Hogwarts' finances and seek new funding because he wanted Hogwarts to become, not only a brilliant school, but also famed for the spectacular research done by the professors. Longbottom's recent thesis on improving Mandrake crops was rather innovative, he had to admit. Adding Granger to the staff would only increase the positive press.
'I'm so honoured to join the staff, Professor!' Her smile was so wide, he wondered whether it could be converted into some amount of illumination. He hated happy people. Why on earth was she smiling at him? He was not used to that. Severus was more comfortable with the slightly cowering attitude of Longbottom.
Why in Merlin's name was she still smiling at him? A little voice in the back of his mind said that she had a very nice smile, but he ignored it quickly. Severus Snape did not do nice. He wasn't a nice man; that was what he kept repeating to himself all the time. Of course, in the last years after the fall of Voldemort and Severus' re-establishment in the wizarding world, a lot of witches had tried to smile at him seductively. Sure, these witches were after his considerable bank account, that wasn't even a question. Not that they were after his good looks or his smashing personality. 'But you still like how sincere Granger smiles', a little voice reappeared in his head making him wonder whether he was going nuts or was just losing his touch at intimidating people. It seemed to him that her smile had lasted for minutes, even though it lasted for only a few seconds in truth.
'As the contract is signed, I think you can start on your Head of House duties now…'
'But I was only supposed to move in on Monday and start class on Wednesday!' she interjected, thinking that Snape really was a slave driver.
'If you hadn't interrupted me so rudely, you would know that I was merely offering to escort you to this season's first Gryffindor versus Slytherin game.' His tone was strict and almost cold, making her feel stupid again. Turns out he just wanted to do a rather nice and normal thing and not make her scrub cauldrons without magic all day.
'Oh, I'd love that!' she replied, waiting for him to take her hand and escort her as a proper gentleman would.
However, she had no such luck. Severus just turned and marched out of the office, his stride always exactly two steps ahead of her. He always believed that the only reason a man took a woman's arm to escort her somewhere was to feel her up. Even though he hadn't gotten laid in the last six months, he would never stoop as low as trying to feel up a member of staff. 'But she's the youngest and best looking,' again the little voice, now in a singsong tone, came up in his mind.
As they hurried through the hallways of the castle, Hermione noticed that the students were surprisingly well behaved in the presence of the dour Headmaster, as the students respectfully stepped out of his way, thus not earning a loss of house points.
It was actually the first time Hermione was going to have a seat in the Professor's box . The last time she had been anywhere near it was when she had set Snape's robes on fire during her first year. What a wonderful memory, she thought, when she watched the Headmaster sitting next to Draco Malfoy, Head of Slytherin house and the exceptionally gorgeous Potions Master of the school . It was no secret that he had trained with his house's Quidditch team in the past, and continued to do so even now. The pictures she had scrapbooked from last summer's Witch Weekly were mouth watering. Not that she had become a fan of Malfoy; she just admired his perfect body. It had been a year since she had broken up with Ron. He just wasn't a worthy match for her as all he talked about was Quidditch and food.
Doubtlessly, her interaction with Malfoy hadn't always been friendly, especially their schooldays with endless taunting each other, but after the war he had owled her and apologised for his behaviour towards her. That had meant a lot to her as Malfoys never apologise. Still, it didn't make them friends, but she knew that he had dropped pureblood supremacy belief, as he had talked to Muggleborns at Ministry functions just as with everyone else. She didn't know how they'd get along now when they both were going to be in close proximity all the time.
However, Professor Malfoy, who was actually winking at her suggestively at the moment, was quite intelligent, maybe not as gifted as Snape, but still Draco's recent theories about the uses of Armadillo bile were quite interesting and made 'Potions Today' go off the shelves rather quickly. Maybe it was caused by his portrait on the cover, Hermione mused. It was time for her to look for a man worthy of her. Preferably someone who happened to be intelligent and handsome as well. Malfoy kind of fit the requirements.
Engrossed in contemplations about Malfoy's sex appeal, still not seated and standing with her back towards the playing field, she didn't notice Neville's frantic waving towards her, or the swishing sound of a wayward Bludger flying her way. It happened in a fraction of a second, the Bludger hitting the unsuspecting young professor right in the back of her head. The impact from the hit was so strong that she fell to the ground unconscious the next moment.
The first to overcome the initial shock of surprise was the headmaster, who, after checking her vitals as existent but unstable, took the frail witch in his arms and disapparated to the hospital wing with a clap of thunder.
'How could he do it?' Neville asked to no one in particular, as he kept on looking around confused.
'Come on, Longbottom, we're off to the hospital wing. We have to see to the well-being of our colleague.' Malfoy nudged the clumsy Herbology Professor.
'But… How?' Neville kept on stammering.
'We'll be walking. As fast as we can. The Headmaster changed the wards so only he apparate within Hogwarts grounds. Move!'
The last bellow made Neville move frantically, giving a last glance to the stands. The game went on, obviously the referee, Flint, who was teaching flying this year as he had been suspended from the Quidditch League for a year for using foul moves, didn't see fit to discontinue the game, especially since Slytherin had managed to score 3 goals in the midst of confusion.
Trainee Healer Heidi Flower almost fell from her chair as she heard the loud clap of Apparition in the ward.
'What's going on here?' she asked, hoping to sound as strict as Madame Pomfrey, but it didn't quite turn out like the desired tone.
'Move! There has been a Quidditch accident. A professor has been hit by a Bludger' came the Headmaster's short and sharp answer, which made Heidi's skin crawl. She was so scared of Snape.
'It seems to be a concussion, but it'd be wise to administer…' his speech was interrupted by the young Healer's.
'I know what to do! In Healer training we learned…' she ran first to inspect the patient, finding her stable and breathing, yet unconscious.
Making another run for the medicinal potion's cupboard Heidi looked through the rows of neatly organized potions. Unfortunately, all of them were in similar dark glass vials, so skimming through the labels, she picked what seemed to be a pain reliever and wit sharpener. She was so nervous, this was her first case of being in charge of a patient and she wanted to impress the dour Headmaster, too.
Snape stepped away from Hermione, he would let the Healer do her work, even though he didn't trust this Miss Flower, though she was supposed to be the very best of her course, but she reminded him too much of a dunderhead. Nevertheless, if Poppy believed the chit could handle anything, and then he'd just let the responsibility lie with Poppy, as his own healing skills had considerably lessened in the years after the war.
After a few minutes, Hermione started to stir. He was at her bedside in a flash, wanting to assure himself that his newest staff member was alive and well.
Hermione felt rather dizzy and her head hurt terribly. She also had the strange notion that she was missing someone terribly.
'Miss Granger, how are you?' she heard Snape's concerned voice ask.
When she saw his dark eyes, concern hidden within their depths, she realised what, or better whom, she had missed.
'Severus, my love! Are you alright?' his eyes were suddenly full of confusion. She thought that he looked terribly cute this way, so after running her fingers lightly over his jaw, she pulled him down for a kiss. It felt so good to kiss those thin, but soft and reluctant lips. The next second he had given in she let her tongue probe his lips gently. Oh, this was heaven. Her love was here and concerned about her. But this kiss was making everything better and he seemed to give in rather quickly.
A loud thud was heard in the hospital wings doorway. Professor Longbottom had passed out from the sight of Snape kissing Hermione.
Longbottom and Malfoy had been detained by hexing Peeves and removing the inscription 'Sevvie-poo is never going to get laid' from the door of the Great Hall. Draco was about to snicker about Severus' indiscretion when his loud bellow rang through the air.
'Miss Granger, unhand me this instant!' Snape yanked her hands away from his neck and stepped away from the bed.
'I'm so sorry; love, I was just so happy to see you…' The young witch's eyes filled with tears and she started to sob into her pillow.
Snape's gaze wandered to the vials next to her bed and he knew that the trainee healer had made a blunder, as the empty vials were labelled as 'Problem reliever -Befuddlement Draught' and 'Happiness Enhancer- Draught of Joy' –definitely not something to treat a concussion, nor were these potions similar to any known love potions.
'Malfoy, get a proper Healer!' Snape ordered the blonde Slytherin, who obeyed the order instantly.
Hogwarts had never been so much fun before, thought Draco when he flooed St. Mungo's. He wanted to know what the hell had happened to Granger, as he thought that if she was going to snog someone, then it was definitely him who was worthy, not his broody godfather.