Misery
A.N.: Ok…So…after I watched SLS I heard that Blaine and the Warblers were going to sing 'Misery' some time through this season and I couldn't help but getting my hopes up that he would sing it to Kurt…and then this song started chasing me around quite literally, wherever I would be there it was radio, tv, everywhere…so I decided to do this…:D
Story Notes: I don't think this thing has anything that even closely resembles a purpose… :D But I thought it was kind of cute…and it got totally stuck on my head…had to get it out :D
Disclaimer: If I'd own Glee Blaine would NOT have been singing to GAP guy… ;P Don't own Darren or Chris either but damn 33 And I don't own the song, it belongs to Maroon 5…
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"Blaine…!" Wes sighed exasperatedly "Would you stop pacing? What is going on?"
"I bet this is about Kurt…" David exclaimed and the two friends raised their heads from their lazy positions on the couch to get a better look at the raven who was currently glaring at them.
"No it isn't!" he said defiantly.
As he only received two raised eyebrows as an answer he groaned and dropped himself on a couch opposite of them.
"He just,…I think he is avoiding me." Blaine whispered dejectedly.
"Really?" Wes sat up straight now, frowning.
David just rolled his eyes ""Here goes" he muttered under his breath.
"What?" Blaine's head snapped up and he shot him a strange look.
"Nevermind."
Before Blaine could protest Wes cut in:
"Ok…why do you think he is ignoring you?"
"Ermm…Well didn't you notice? He hasn't been sitting with us at the cafeteria anymore, he doesn't text me anymore and his replies to my texts are really short and just…polite." he finished, at a loss for a better describtion.
"What's wrong with polite?"
Blaine just glared at David and chose to ignore the remark.
"He also…well…when I ask him to hang out he always has something else to do and he never even tries for a solo at the warblers anymore and…I don't know…" he concluded, sadly.
"Ugh... I'm sure you're just making this up…this is definitely all just in your head, he has no reason to avoid you right?"
"Umm…" Blaine blushed "But…"
"Blaine just because you're not together 24/7 anymore doesn't mean he doesn't want to be around you anymore. You should be glad that he started to be a little more independent again, means you have more time to pursue other guys, I mean after the Jeremiah debacle….right?" David asked lightly.
Blaine shot him a slightly dazed look, stood up, nodded and walked out of the room without another word.
"Wow…he's in deep huh?" Wes asked his remaining friend.
"Yeah…who'd have guessed…Wanna go try out my new Wii game?" David replied.
Wes nodded enthusiastically and soon they had forgotten their troubled friend.
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Blaine was standing outside of Kurt's dorm room and he was uncharacteristically nervous. It was way worse than it had been before the 'GAP attack'. He took a deep breath and knocked at the door.
"It's open" Kurt replied from the inside.
Blaine's heart clenched at the sound of Kurt's voice and he slowly opened the door.
"He…oh…hey Blaine." Kurt greeted him, an unreadable expression on his face.
"Hey…umm…" Blaine fidgeted nervously "I haven't seen you in a while."
"Mhh-mhh…" Kurt replied nonchalantly.
"I…have you…?" Blaine couldn't believe how nervous he actually was. He was the lead soloist of the warblers for crying out loud. He should really be able to talk to his best friend.
Kurt raised a questioning eyebrow, turned his attention back to his laptop, chuckled slightly and typed something, he appeared to be in an chat conversation of some sorts.
"Umm…Kurt…would you like to join me for dinner tonight? Maybe we can watch a movie later?" Blaine asked, blushing.
Kurt sighed, rubbing his eyes before he turned around, eyes not meeting Blaine's.
"Sorry" the small brunette said "I've got a lot of work to do so I guess we'll have to postpone that…maybe another time." he answered noncommittally before returned his attention to his laptop and started typing again.
Blaine stood in the middle of the room for another while, fighting with himself about what to do, before he left quietly.
Later that day he saw Kurt leaving Dalton, obviously to go out with his McKinley friends, and he didn't see him again until Monday when they passed each other in the cafeteria and Kurt just gave him a friendly nod before he went to sit with some background Warblers in an entirely different section of the room than Blaine and his friends did.
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Blaine sat on his bed, holding a piece of paper and a pen. He sighed and stared at the lines he had written.
Kurt,
I know I've been an idiot with the whole Jeremiah situation and I'm really really sorry.
I can't lose you
Please don't make me…
I mean…we're friends right?
You are the most important person in my life right now. You make me feel like I can be myself.
Like…really myself…not my Dalton self.
That's just one half of who I am…And I'm beginning to feel like you're the other…
Please…
He sighed, ripped the paper off his scrapbook and threw it in the general direction of the trash, knowing it would probably rather be joining his 100 other attempt at writing something that wouldn't sound completely crazy, or needy, or worse.
He threw his scrapbook and pencil on the floor to join his letters and buried his head in his pillow. Wes and David had come by earlier, asking him whether he wanted to hang out, but he had told them off in favor of wallowing in his room.
He half regretted that now, but he knew that he would have most likely been spoiling all of their fun with his sour mood and he didn't want to do that to them. He picked up his phone and stared at it for a while before he dialed Kurt's number.
After a few rings the voicemail came on. Blaine couldn't help but wonder what the soprano was doing. He never turned off his phone, that much he knew. Had he seen Blaine's number and decided not to answer? Or was he really busy? Either way, he was devastated. He had lost his best friend over a stupid crush on some blonde guy he hadn't even known for that long.
When he closed his eyes and an image of Kurt, casually dressed in jeans and a gorgeous blue jacket which really complimented his eyes, looking at him, the beautiful glasz eyes sparkling with delight at something Blaine had said and the soft, full lips pulled up into a smile he started to wonder whether Kurt was really 'just' his best friend to him.
Best gay friend. Best gorgeous, outgoing, smart, funny, incredibly talented, amazingly strong, gentle, all around absolutely one-of-a-kind awesome friend at that.
As soon as he had finished that thought he mentally gobsmacked himself. This was definitely a line of thought he should not follow right now, there was no way for that to end good.
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"Blaine?" Kurt asked in a small voice.
"Mmhhh?" the tired senior answered, before he stood upright in his bed. "Kurt, you ok?" he asked worriedly.
It was the middle of the night and he figured if Kurt was standing in his room that late it had to be something serious.
"I…I'm sorry I shouldn't have woken you up…I'll just…" he turned around to walk away but Blaine caught his wrist and pulled him into a hug, realizing that Kurt was not only cold but also shaking. He could also feel wetness on the younger boy's face.
"Shh…it's ok…I'm here...shhh it's ok." he whispered soothingly while caressing the brunette's back.
Soon enough the soprano relaxed and fell asleep against him. Blaine just smiled and wrapped his arms around his friend more tightly, feeling the desperate need to hold him and never let him go. Kurt felt so right, cradled against his chest as he carefully laid them down and pulled his cover over both of them. The countertenor fit snugly against his chest and Blaine settled back in his pillow and fell asleep to the warm feeling of having Kurt next to him…
"Blaine…? Blaine? BLAINE?"
The raven shot up, falling off his chair in shock as Wes yelled into his ear.
"Wes what the hell?" he muttered angrily.
"Well I tried to wake you up but you were very resistant."
"And it didn't occur to you to just let me sleep?" Blaine groaned.
It had been such a great dream. A dream of the time when everything had been just fine between him and Kurt. It was rare for him to get any sleep lately, rather than lying awake thinking about Kurt. And he just wished he could go back to that night when Kurt had come in on one of his first nights at Dalton after a nightmare and just curled up next to Blaine and tell the boy he loved him.
Blaine very suddenly froze as he realized what he had just thought.
Was it true? Did he love Kurt?
'Yes.' was the very confident answer that came to mind. It was obvious wasn't it? He really felt like hitting his head against something solid for not realizing it sooner. He just hoped that he hadn't screwed up to badly.
The raven looked up at his puzzled friend who was staring at him with a dumbfounded and slightly indignant expression. He had obviously been talking to him while he was lost in thought, but Blaine couldn't bring himself to care about that just now.
"Wes, get David. I'm gonna need your help with something."
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Blaine was nervous. Again. He was practically shaking. Just as it had been when he was in the GAP store before starting to sing. But Kurt had been there to give him courage and patch him up after he had been rejected back then. Scratch that. This was nothing like that time. It was much worse. Because now he had no Kurt by his side to give him the courage he needed and if this would go awry he wasn't sure if he could walk away from this unscathed.
He took a deep breath and walked into the room, where Kurt was standing, looking expectantly, one delicately shaped eyebrow raised.
"Kurt." Blaine greeted him and Kurt gave him a nod, a slight frown appearing on his face.
Blaine felt as if the air was knocked out of him, but he knew he couldn't go back now. So he just swallowed hard and gave the warblers a sign and they broke into song.
So scared of breaking it
That I won't let it bend
And I wrote two hundred letters
I won't ever send
Somehow these cuts are so much
Deeper than they seem
You'd rather cover up
I'd rather let them be
So let me be
And I'll set you free
I am
Kurt's eyebrows disappeared into his hairline as he looked at Blaine questioningly. Blaine just held his gaze and tried to convey his feelings with the song. He had altered the lyrics just slightly so there would be no chance for the soprano to misread the signs like he claimed he always did and hated to.
I am in misery
There ain't nobody
Who can comfort me
Why won't you answer me?
Your silence is slowly killing me
Boy you really got me bad
You really got me bad
I'm gonna get you back
Gonna get you back
Kurt blushed slightly and Blaine felt his heart beat hard in his chest. It seemed as if Kurt was slowly getting it. There was no way back now. Blaine closed his eyes, he couldn't stand to look at the brunette any longer.
Your salty skin and how
It mixes in with mine
The way it feels to be
Completely intertwined
His eyes opened again. He wanted…needed Kurt to understand the meaning of this. It was imperative for his wellbeing that the boy knew how he felt.
It's not that I didn't care
It's that I didn't know
It's not what I didn't feel,
It's what I didn't show
So let me be
And I'll set you free
I am
I am in misery
There ain't nobody
Who can comfort me
Why won't you answer me?
Your silence is slowly killing me
Boy you really got me bad
You really got me bad
I'm gonna get you back
Gonna get you back
Kurt drew in a sharp breath as Blaine walked up to him, but he still wasn't looking away, keeping the gaze of his glasz eyes locked with Blaine's hazel ones.
Say your faith is shaken
You may be mistaken
You keep me wide awake and
Waiting for the sun
I'm desperate and confused
So far away from you
I'm getting here
Don't care where I have to go
Blaine stood right in front of Kurt now and he put more heart into this performance than any of the warblers had ever seen before. Silent tears ran down his cheeks as he kept on singing, his voice filled with a depth of emotion he hadn't even known he possessed. And Kurt didn't look away, responding tears welling up in his eyes.
Why do you do what you do to me?
Why won't you answer me, answer me?
Why do you do what you do to me?
Why won't you answer me, answer me?
I am in misery
There ain't nobody
Who can comfort me
Why won't you answer me?
Your silence is slowly killing me
Boy you really got me bad
You really got me bad
I'm gonna get you back
Gonna get you back
He held the last note a little longer than required and just looked into Kurt's eyes as silence fell over the room, the other warblers hurrying out to give them some privacy.
Blaine didn't even think that some of them, with Wes and David leading the way, would probably be stuck outside, eavesdropping. Instead he just stood there motionless taking in the sight in front of him.
"Blaine…" Kurt breathed and the raven tensed, prepared for rejection. "I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you."
"Huh?" Blaine's head was spinning. Of all the scenarios he had been making up in his head, going from enthusiastic kissing to crushing rejection he sure hadn't thought of this.
"I was selfish." The younger boy continued. "I wanted to spare me the pain of having to be around you knowing that you didn't return my feelings. I thought it'd be better for both of us. But instead I hurt you and made things even worse. I'm a terrible friend. I would understand it if you wanted to…if you didn't want to be friends…anymore…" he almost whispered in the end dropping his gaze.
Blaine put a hand under his chin and forced him gently to look into his hazel eyes.
"You're right." He said, breathlessly "I don't want us to be friends anymore."
Kurt slumped visibly at that, now looking very much like a kicked puppy, averting his eyes again. Blaine's next words made his eyes shoot up again though.
"I want to be so much more than just a friend to you Kurt…I…I love you…"
Blaine moved forward, gently pressing his lips against Kurt's. The soprano froze at first, but then he melted into the kiss, returning it, hesitantly at first, but growing more confident soon. Blaine couldn't even describe the feelings that cursed through him at that moment. It was pure bliss.
Kurt's lips were soft and sweet against his and soon Blaine brought his hands up to the younger boy's neck and lower back and pulled him closer, deepening the kiss.
They only broke apart as they heard the warblers break into cheers and wolf whistles, looking up to see Wes and David and behind them the rest of the merry bunch stand inside the doorframe with big grins plastered all over their faces.
"Finally." someone yelled.
Kurt chuckled softly, hiding his blushing face in Blaine's neck. Blaine smiled and pulled him into a tight embrace, planting a soft kiss on his head.
"I love you too." Kurt whispered softly and Blaine couldn't help but grin like an idiot.
This was without the doubt the best day of his life.
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End Notes: Soo…This is what I pictured to possibly be going down with the whole 'Misery' thing…I know it is probably slightly OOC and a great deal of wishful thinking but hey :D Whatever… ;)
I hope you liked it…
Review please? Let me know what you think :D
3 you all
CITC