Zimwolfma
By: Sailor Greeny and Possessed Fangirl
Disclaimer: We do not own Invader Zim. Nickelodeon does. Nor do we own FullMetal Alchemist or Wolf's Rain. Some other people do.
Summary: The Invader Zim, Wolf's Rain and FullMetal Alchemist characters all meet up in the Wolf's Rain world. PF's brilliant method of writing is being used so it will take a while for some chapters to come out.
PF: Welcome to our new fan-fic!
SG: This just popped into our heads.
PF: Yeah. Any who, I hope you like it.
Chapter One: Zoo trip?
Ms. Bitters stood before the class, screaming into the phone as the principle screeched into it on the other end like a pig being chased after with a chain saw. "Noooooooo!" she growled into the phone. Eventually she released a final grunt of resistance before slamming the phone back down and releasing a few more lost souls from her desk. "The principal has declared a mandatory field trip to the zoo. Pick a partner and go now!" Two school buses pulled up by the school, waiting for the children to board.
The class cheered. As soon as you could say 'squeedlyspooch' they were up and out of their seats, getting partners for the ride. Within a second all of the students in the class had a partner other than Zim and Dib. Dib had a look of pure distaste on his face. "You can't be serious." He said under his breath
Zim was horrified. His mortal enemy chosen to be his partner. Any other worm baby would have been better than this. The two glared as they walked towards each other. "I'm not going to like this any more than you so just be quiet and we won't have any problems."
Ms. Bitters stood at the back of the line of students that were forming at the door, making sure her outside robes were on tight. "Once you get to the buses, Mr. Elliot's class will be waiting. Each of you pick a fourth grade buddy and you will be in charge of them throughout the day. It will better prepare you for your adult lives, when you have to watch after your own child like a hawk if you don't want it to disappear forever."
When the class reached the buses, the only fourth grader that still needed an attendant was Gaz. So, of course, Zim and Dib took her as their buddy.
For the length of the entire bus ride Zim and Dib were swapping insults or threats, while Gaz either played her GS2 or yelled at them to shut up.
"Before this day is over I'll have found a way to feed you to one of those hideous Earth monkey's at this little zoo of yours." Zim glared. "That is, if your Earth zoo contains anything more harmful than a cage full of hungry Slorbees' and Gasqueegasplorch's."
Dib returned the hateful stare. "That's what you think. I'll just use whatever you use against me against you and expose you to the entire class. If you push me into a barrel full of monkeys, I'll turn it over and cover you in banana pie." He breathed.
"Be quiet!" Gaz barked at the two of them, sitting as far as she could from them with hardly any luck. When she looked out the window she groaned in displeasure. "We're here." She grumbled.
The bus slowly halted when they came to the doors. The zoo was very high-tech. It had all sorts of technology to keep the animals either dead or inside of their cage. Long gone were the mon-key's and packey pops that kept the zoo's of the past happy and tasty. No more train to take you around the grounds. Just huge metallic crates containing half dead animals that seemed to be mutating a little more every day. "Exit the bus with your small groups and roam free while you have time. Every body has to be here by two thirty and five seconds or we'll leave without you!" Ms. Bitters snapped.
The first few places claimed to have frogs and birds, but everything looked like mashed potatoes and granola bars with wings. Eventually they hit an exhibit with what looked like actual wolves. And they hadn't yet mutated!
The attendant began talking once all of the students in that group had their mouths duct taped shut. "These wolves were found wandering around the zoo not too long ago, so they haven't started mutating yet! Get a good look at them while you can because they should start mutating within the next few days."
A white wolf suddenly began sniffing the air. He then directed his attention to poor unsuspecting Zim and jumped at the walls. The other wolves joined in until the wall short circuited and came crashing down. When they had a chance they all jumped on top of Zim and started chewing on his head.
"Oh dear." The attendant looked at the mess, which, at the moment looked like a wolf blob. "I guess they don't like green." He shrugged and signaled the rest of the students to continue toward the gorilla exhibit.
After the wolf attack Dib fell to the ground in laughter. "See! Even those wolves knew he was an alien! Look Gaz! I think they ate his wig!" Once Dib looked again there was a group of humans hanging over Zim's mangled body. One of them was choking on a chunk of Zim's wig. "Wha? Werewolves! Werewolves! Gaz did you see that! They were wolves just now and now they're human!" He pulled out his camera and started snapping pictures of them. He seemed to forget it was daytime and the moon was at the moment a waxing crescent.
"Umm. Hey, we're not werewolves." one of them, the youngest looking one, told Dib. Dib failed to notice the silver bangles on the boys' right arm when he put his hand up in a way that suggested he thought the paranormal investigator was paranoid or something. This was weird.
The camera light continued flashing. "That's what they all say!"
With a couple twitches of the leg, Zim slowly got up and hobbled back to Dib and Gaz. Once he finally realized he had no wig on he ran around screaming frantically trying to search for it. When he gave up he decided it would be easiest to call for GIR so he could bring a new one. Within a few minutes GIR would be there.
Now Dib was taking pictures of Zim instead. "See, he's an alien!" Behind him, the rest of the class observed purple and orange penguin eggs.
Kiba, a messy black haired, blue eyed male around sixteen years old stepped forward. "Well. We're here in some horrible place and we know we shouldn't be. We," He motioned toward his group, "Need you," He pointed at Zim. "To help us get home." Zim stared blankly at them and turned to walk away. "And if you don't help we could always eat you for dinner."
Zim stopped and turned around, smiling widely. "Of course I'll help you! Just follow me!" GIR came with Zim's funky fresh new wig! It was a fro! The one from probing day, but they repaired it. "Right. This field trip is over."
"No it's not." Dib said. "We still have four hours." He pointed to his watch.
"GIR, change all of the clocks in the town to two twenty-five." Zim said nonchalantly. "You have... Three seconds."
GIR changed directly to duty mode and quickly said, "Yes, sir!" Before jetting off and returning within two seconds, giggling wildly.
All of the wolves stared at him as if he was insane. Which he is, but that's beside the point. Ms. Bitters' voice called from the hairy mole ranster exhibit, "Everybody on the bus!" Zim, Dib and everybody else ran as fast as they could onto the bus, so the wolves got there a two minutes before any other people. By the time the rest of the students were in the bus nobody could pick out the students from the 'werewolves' solely because the bus was overcrowded, and all of the kids were on each other's shoulders. The other bus was packed just as full.
Once they got back to skool it was over, so Zim lead his new companions to his base. "Soooooo. What do you need?" Dib made Gaz follow him over to Zim's house so he could spy on his evil and stuff. Who knew what sinister plots he was planning to use the werewolves for?
The wolves were looking around the base when he said this; it was very odd looking to them, even compared to the other human buildings. Kiba decided to answer the question. "Well first of all we need to know where we are. This place doesn't feel like where we're from. The air is actually worse, if that is at all possible. I don't feel that same as I did before we ended up in that Zoo."
"Hey, what was up with the large headed kid any ways? Why did he call us werewolves?" Toboe, the youngest of the five wolves, asked. "I've never been called a werewolf before." Dib was busy planting spy devices at this point so he didn't hear the insult.
"Well at least he didn't try to shoot us like that old man back home." Tsume, the one with white hair, gold eyes and a x-shaped scare on his chest, said. He was wearing tight leather clothes and looked like the gang leader type.
Blue, who was the only female in the group and was actually only half-wolf, glared at him. "Pops was going after the wolves because he thought they killed his family." she said, "look, I know you don't like me because I helped him. Hige is the only one that hasn't been shot at by pops, so I can see why he was nice to me right away."
"Hige just likes pretty girls." Tsume said looking off to the side like he was better than every one else.
Zim wasn't listening to the bickering weirdo wolf things. After sitting there in deep thought, for about ten minutes, he got an idea. "We can change the time portal from when I tried to kill Dib so that it becomes a time-space portal!" He raised a fist triumphantly in the air.
Dib had just gotten back from planting spy cameras and bugs in various sections of the base. "Wow! How are we going to do that!"
Toboe thought about it too, along with his friends. "Yeah, how are we going to do that?"
Gaz sighed in a 'everybody around me is so stupid they can't even do -insert easy task here-' way. "It's obvious," For the next hour and a half Gaz taught Zim and Dib how to make a time-space portal. Zim was taught against his will, but he got it. "... and that's how to make a time-space portal. In level five-hundred seventy-nine of space piggies from future." Everyone stared at her with their jaws dropped to the ground. "Duh." She began to walk away but Dib stopped her.
So Zim set out to work. When he was about half way done it hit him. "Hey! What are you doing here Dib monkey!" He complained loudly. "Go home and play with your little Earth toys." Zim turned back to his work. "GIR! I want you to work on this nonstop until it's finished! And if you do it right I'll give you all the tacos, taquitos, headless clowns and rubber piggies you want!"
As a result, GIR only fell out of duty mode for the last two minutes. Oh joy! As for Dib, he pretended to leave and hid behind some random junk.
Zim got up and brushed off his uniform. "Right. It's done now. What the!-" In the rush of trying to get home ALL of the wolves charged for the portal at once, knocking Zim in as well. "GIR! Come for your master!" GIR jumped headfirst into the portal like it was a pool, Dib dragged Gaz along for the ride and off they went.
They all screamed in pain unknown to man. It felt as if they were being ripped limb from limb- even worse- even though Gaz was really the only one not screaming, we all know that deep down, she wanted her mommy. "Holy Censored we're gonna Censored some more die!" Dib screamed. More and more beeps were being featured, since nickelodeon can't have cuss words in their shows, else some parent would sue them.
"Whiner!" Gaz said. She opened an eye, "Hey. Since when did you cuss?" She shrugged and continued staring at the random colors of the portal.
"Shit!... Hey! It wasn't censored? We must be here then!" Dib got up and looked to the corner of the screen. "Adult swim? Well, it's better than random people floating at my feet." Now they were in the world of adult swim.
"Hey. We aren't back home yet. Not yet..." Kiba looked around him and sniffed the air. "I recognize the logo but it's so... clean..."
PF: Dun dun dunnnnn! Okay, now that's probably the only time you'll see the things with the logo there. It's just... well we watched a video on youtube. Whoever made that video with the American idol/wolfs rain thing PLEASE don't get mad at me for putting that there! I luffff the idea! Oh, I changed my accounts user name to FullMetal Zim 3 But I'm still the normal 'ol PF 'round these parts.
SG: Ciffie cliffie cliffie! I've been feeling hyper since the day before this was finished and posted! Monster energy drink did this to me!
PF: Tune in whenever for the next chapter! It will rock!