Life Returns

by Sora G. Silverwind

Zero a.k.a. MA–0 tackles one of the most prevailing existential questions of all – "Who am I?"

Life Returns
by Sora G. Silverwind

Summary: Zero a.k.a. MA-0 tackles one of the most prevailing existential questions of all – "Who am I?"

Rating: PG. Lookit, I actually wrote a PG fic! There's only, like, two instances of (mild) swearing in this whole thing! Can you believe it? Didn't think so, but why don't you check it out for yourself? Fwohohoho.

Author's notes: Major spoilers all over the series—it starts with a scene from episode 37, goes to episodes 48-49, and alludes to things in-between, particularly concerning Zero's character background. Episode 50 was released in the middle of writing this fic, and episodes 51-52 were released a couple of months later. If you've seen episode 52, you'll see that it totally screws with the emotionally climactic scene of this fic, so, uh, let's pretend that episode 52 doesn't exist for the duration of this fic.

Although Anime-Kraze did a fantastic job of subbing this series (kudos to theme for even picking it up), I re-wrote a lot of the dialogue to make the transition to written English smoother.

To top off these excessive notes, the title of this fic was borrowed from the title of the ending theme to Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance. I've never played the game, but a gracious someone sent the theme to me and holy Mother Mihaele it's gorgeous. I fought the urge to title this fic "Ghost in the Shell" for obvious reasons.

Disclaimer: Zero doesn't belong to me. Sob. Neither do any of the other characters. Technically they all belong to Hudson Soft, but in reality Professor Ein owns them under their contract to the Jetters team. Not that they know that – none of them read the fine print.

Special thanks to: Anime-Kraze, late night, Vyctori, and my loud obnoxious inner fangirl (not to be confused with my loud obnoxious outer fangirl).

J-E-T-T-E-R-S

A death-blow is a life-blow to some
Who, till they died, did not alive become
Who, had they lived, had died, but when
They died, vitality begun.

-Emily Dickinson

J-E-T-T-E-R-S

"Oh, by the way...would you happen to know who I am?"

It was a legitimate enough question that had been at the forefront of Zero's mind ever since he'd woken up.

With the swish of his hood, all would be revealed.

Or so he'd hoped.

Instead, what had once been a lukewam atmosphere at best had immediately frozen over at that single motion.

All three of Misty's guests—Shout, the bird, and Shirobon—now stared at him with icy, hateful recognition.

Zero suddenly wished he'd never asked.

He couldn't really decipher the reactions of Shout and the bird beyond their gaping mouths. There'd never been anything hinting at Shout's motivations for accompanying the group other than that she was the leader of a team called the Jetters, which prompted a vague flash of memory that quickly fizzed into nonexistence within his thought circuits. The bird hadn't even given his name, but Zero quickly dubbed him 'Birdy' in his mind for ease of identification, and anyway the name seemed fitting enough. Birdy clearly had some sort of interest in Zero judging by the nature of his earlier questions, but there was no indication of what that interest might be. It was quite obvious, though, that both held a deep dislike for whoever he truly was.

But it was the acidic mixture of shock, grief, and anger within Shirobon's eyes that chilled the android to his core. The admiration the boy had once glowed with upon meeting the famous 'Bomber Zero' from the B-1 Championships had vanished without a trace. Nothing remained now but a desire to kill, and Zero wondered what had brought such a thing to take root in a young boy's heart.

"You bastard!" Birdy spat, curling his fists. "You're still alive?"

I didn't even know I'd been dead in the first place, Zero thought, bemused.

"You..." Shout growled and took on a similar stance. "It's you, Max!"

A name...he had a name! His mind latched onto it, processing it...

Shirobon clenched his eyes shut. "You're not going to get away this time!" he shouted. "Because I'm going to kill you!" He swung a hand upwards to conjure a bomb. "Burning Fire Bomb!"

My name...is Max...

It was more a statement of acclimation than affirmation. The name seemed right...didn't it?

"What the hell is this?" Misty demanded, still standing protectively in front of Zero.

My name...is Max.

Yes, it did. It did fit.

"Misty, get out of the way!" Shirobon shouted. "I don't want you to get hurt!" The bomb he held burned brighter than before, casting an infernal light on all of them even in the daytime sun.

My name is Max.

But...

That wasn't the whole of it.

That wasn't who he truly was.

Something was still missing.

Misty shook her head. "Stop it! Don't do this!"

Zero pondered why Misty was defending him from such a little kid. For that matter, why did Shirobon even want to attack him in the first place?

"He's the one who killed my brother!"

Ask and ye shall receive, Zero thought miserably.

Misty took a startled step back. "Wh-what?"

Shirobon was shaking now. "I told you about the guy who killed Mighty, didn't I?" he said, daring her to make the connection herself.

Misty slowly turned to face Zero dead-on, her eyes wide with those flashes of shock, grief, and anger that he'd seen in the other three. Guilt gnawed at Zero's inner wires. If he could have taken back his question, it would have been for her sake most of all.

"Please, get out of the way!" Shirobon shouted again.

Misty turned her head away from Zero, but made no attempt to comply with Shirobon.

"Misty!"

Misty grabbed Zero by the arm and dragged him away with her at top speed.

"Hey!" came Birdy's indignant voice. "What are you doing?"

"M-Misty?" Zero stammered.

"You're not getting away with this!" Shirobon added.

But before Shout, Birdy, and Shirobon could pursue the two of them, a sudden explosion cut the three Jetters off, clouding the area with a thick cover of smoke.

Misty glanced over her shoulder as she continued to run. "What luck that Mujoe would choose this time to drop in," she snickered under her breath. The triumphant, throaty laughter of a hefty man echoed behind her, confirming her statement. "Those three will have their hands full for a while." She rounded a tree, almost slamming Zero into its trunk by accident. "We'll monitor the fight from a distance. Once they're sufficiently distracted, we'll sneak in and make our escape." She suddenly noticed Zero's pensive posture and stopped in her tracks. "Hmm? What's wrong?"

"Misty...who was Shirobon's brother?"

J-E-T-T-E-R-S

Zero had most of his answers by now. He knew his origins as a dubious and ultimately failed creation by Dr. Mechadoc: MA-0, a prototype Bomberman android intended for assisting Mechadoc's research into Bomb Elements. He also knew that a Bomberman by the name of Mighty, who also happened to be Shirobon's older brother, had infiltrated the core of the Hige Hige Bandits' main stronghold on Nonbiri with designs on destroying it once and for all. As time passed, Zero pieced together the disjointed images and sentiments that had begun to appear with greater frequency and variation. Soon Zero had successfully constructed the story of his past, from Mighty's death at his hands in order to absorb Mighty's battle data, to the rebellion against Mechadoc because he'd unexpectedly retained Mighty's memories and personality from the absorption, to being powered down and tossed out as defective. All this, along with any other relevant details, was now stored in his main hard drive, ready to be accessed at any time.

But he still didn't know who the heck he was.

He was Max to the Jetters who only knew his nefarious successor. He was Mighty to those who desperately believed in miracles, and MA-0 the failure to his deranged creator. But in his mind, he was always Zero—a nothing, a nonentity.

Memories he currently possessed but had never experienced plagued him at every chance they could get. They ranged from playing baseball with a crybaby kid brother to slamming a frustrated fist into a tree and splintering most of its trunk to blushing furiously (but not uncomfortably) at a well-veiled pass from a close friend. Zero was usually able to keep these memories at a distance, classifying them as simple datasets to be accessed, processed, and then re-stored at will until time needed their existence again. But he found that a flaw in the personality sector of his CPU allowed for Mighty's personality to sometimes merge with what little he had of his own. And once that happened, those same memories, once so innocent and harmless, came with sensations as hot as plasma that seared into Zero's emotional data and nearly overloaded the related circuits at times. For all intents and purposes, Zero was Mighty for those times.

But no matter how sharp and true the feelings were, Zero knew in the end that they weren't his own. He had stolen them, like the Space Thief he was meant to be. And now, as punishment for his crime, he had to suffer the guilt of a borrowed conscience.

At a recent skirmish, MA-10 had tried to convince Shirobon that Zero was Mighty resurrected. But Zero knew better than that. He was only someone who held Mighty's memories up to the point of his death; he had explained this to Shirobon as he was disabling the warp device that the Hige Hige Bandits had employed in their attempt to retrieve the Bomb Crystal from Bomber Planet. I was the one who killed Mighty, Zero had confessed explicitly to Shirobon, almost wishing it would spur the boy to finish him off once and for all. It didn't matter that he had been under the command of Mechadoc at the time; he still held all the responsibility for actually killing Mighty. Anyway, what would be the loss if Shirobon destroyed Zero? Zero was just a poor substitute for a loved one. Everyone missed Mighty. No one cared about Zero.

Still, Zero found that he held concern for everyone else. The relief he'd felt upon seeing Bomber Planet a safe distance away from the newly-teleported Jetters Planet hadn't just been Mighty's personality acting up...or so Zero hoped. Whatever the case, it was a good feeling, and he decided to just leave it for the moment and enjoy it. "You did it, Shirobon!" he said. "You saved both of the planets!"

Shirobon sat down to rest—or hide—his shaky legs. After all, randomly shifting the coordinates for a small but powerful warp device that was set to teleport an entire planet into another was serious business. "I just thought it wouldn't matter as long as we weren't warping into Bomber Planet!" he said, grinning up at Zero.

Zero couldn't help but laugh as he joined Shirobon on the floor. "You're so reckless."

Shirobon pouted and crossed his arms. "Who cares? We made it, didn't we?"

"Yeah, I suppose you're right." Zero tilted his head curiously. "I'm surprised you managed to think of that, though."

"Well, I used to set my brother's alarm clock back by 30 minutes a lot."

If Zero could blink, he would have done so at that moment. Once. Twice. Or three times even. "What?"

"He liked to wake up early all the time!" Shirobon squared his shoulders defensively. "But I wanted to sleep in longer!"

Something warm and delightfully familiar surged through Zero's system, disabling barriers and hacking through restrictions. Before he could think twice about it...

"I always thought something was up with that!" Zero exclaimed, feeling the double-edged satisfaction of having been right about a hunch coupled with the indignation of realizing that a grave injustice had just been committed. He mock-glared at Shirobon. "So you were messing with it, huh?" Shirobon snickered as Zero continued his tirade. "I put that thing out to be repaired at least three times, you know!"

"See? My brother was stingy!" Shirobon looked smug. "If you're gonna get it repaired three times, you might as well buy a new one!"

Zero stared at Shirobon, resisting the impulse to scoop Shirobon up into a brother-friendly chokehold.

Shirobon held the smile for a moment longer, then looked away sadly.

It dawned on Zero what had just happened.

Silence crashed.

How strange, Zero thought as he folded his hands together on his lap, that it was when Shirobon talked about Mighty to him in the third-person that he most strongly felt—and succumbed—to the urge to slip into Mighty's persona. He tried to keep Mighty's self and whatever existed of his own self as separate as possible, both for his sake and for the sake of those who had known and cared about Mighty. But to hear Shirobon discuss Mighty's mannerisms and quirks with him felt to Zero as though he were being gossiped about right in front of his face.

He's never addressed me as "Mighty," Zero suddenly realized. To him, I'm always "Zero." That must mean that me and Mighty are two different people. Right? He gazed at his metallic right hand, the one that gave him the ability to throw bombs. Birdy mentioned that Shirobon eventually called the Max they'd first met "Mighty," and wouldn't stop doing so once he set his mind to it. He laughed softly to himself. Did a heartless killing machine like that bear more resemblance to myself than I do? He stopped. Wait...what the heck did I just say?

"Zero?"

Zero snapped out of his thoughts. "Hm? What is it, Shirobon?"

Shirobon timidly stared at the floor between his feet. "I...I didn't really understand what you said earlier, but..." He took a breath. "My brother is really dead, right?"

A knife through the heart—or whatever the robotic equivalent of that phrase was. "Y-yeah."

"So then...that m-means you're not...my brother...right?"

"...right."

Shirobon swallowed. His hands balled into fists on his knees.

Zero couldn't stand it. He looked away—

"It was my dream..." Shirobon began. "It was my d-dream to join the Jetters and b-be with my brother like this."

Zero felt himself panicking. "Shirobon, I—"

"It was my dream!" Shirobon shouted, clenching his eyes shut.

And I stole it from him when I stole his brother's life, Zero thought, knowing that this was the ultimate, unspoken condemnation from the boy. He could do nothing but look on as Shirobon sobbed right next to him. He wanted to comfort Shirobon, to say something was or compassionate or to go up and lay a hand on Shirobon's head, but there was nothing he could do...nothing he had the right to do.

A few moments passed, tense and heavy. Zero was about to gently suggest to Shirobon that they leave and find the rest of the Jetters when Shirobon suddenly stood up, ripped the Jetters badge from his shirt, and flung it to the ground in front of Zero, where it landed with two successive clinks.

Zero stared. "H-huh?"

"Th-that's yours!" Shirobon shouted. "Take it!"

Zero was completely caught off guard. "Shirobon—!"

Shirobon ran off in a renewed fit of hysterics and tears. He rushed past a perplexed Birdy, who had just entered the chamber. Birdy glanced briefly at Zero, then back to where Shirobon had run off. "What's the deal?" he asked.

Zero shook his head. "I'm not even sure," he answered, stooping to pick up the Jetters badge lying at his feet. He fingered it, feeling the flexibility of the feather that was attached to the badge. The badge had definitely seen some hard times, with the feather having slight dirt stains and the red light entwined within the golden 'J' sporting a few scuff marks. Still, it gave off a faint sparkle in the sunlight.

Birdy noticed what Zero was holding. "Oh...so that's what happened," he said, a knowing smile coming over his face. "That used to be Mighty's, you know."

Zero's head snapped up to look at Birdy, nearly dropping the badge at this revelation. "But—but I..." he stammered, trying to make sense of the implications. "Shirobon...he..."

Birdy barely blinked. "Shirobon knows you're not his brother, but he gave it to you nonetheless." He gave a nonchalant shrug of his shoulders. "The kid's just trying to deal the best he can. It's not like this is a run-of-the-mill-pond situation."

"But..."

"Zero, Mighty had already made up his mind, hadn't he? To quit the Jetters after that last mission?"

Zero knew the answer as intimately as though he had struggled to come to it himself. "Yes."

"Then there's nothing to worry about. That badge is yours now."

Zero held it up and studied it a bit more before looking at Birdy again. "Is...is it really all right?"

"Tch." Birdy turned around. "That's not my decision to make." And he ran off after Shirobon.

"Hey! Birdy!" Zero called. "Wait!"

But Birdy was long gone, his footsteps the only answer to Zero's voice.

"Mighty had already made up his mind to quit the Jetters after that last mission, hadn't he?"

Zero sighed as he gazed at Mighty's badge...his badge.

"Then there's nothing to worry about. That badge is yours now."

Zero's fingers curled around the tiny trinket. He tried to will himself to feel entitled to it, anything to convince himself that he truly did own this, that he could claim it as his. Yes, this is mine. Mine, not Mighty's! But the closest he came to that was an amused sense of 'so that's where it went!'

Zero walked away feeling like he'd just stolen something else.

J-E-T-T-E-R-S

"I suggest you retreat now, Jetters, or you'll be the first to die! Not that I really care, of course!"

A strain of maniacal laughter entered Zero's audio receptors as he traversed the tunnel leading back outside. The not-so-good Dr. Mechadoc, he thought, feeling a vague resentment towards the mad scientist.

"You're going to pay for this, Mechadoc!" Shout yelled.

The laughter continued as Zero stepped out into the daylight. Above him floated the giant holograms of Dr. Mechadoc and the currently imprisoned Bagular. Watching the virtual hostage situation from the ground were the members of the Jetters team, including...

Zero stopped in his tracks as Shirobon locked gazes with him.

Shirobon stared at him quietly. His eyes were wide, but otherwise his expression and posture were unreadable.

Zero started to say something—

"Shirobon!" came Shout's voice. "What are you doing? Let's go! We've got no time!"

"Aaah!" Shirobon turned on his heel and fled towards the Cosmo Jetter. "W-wait for me, everyone!"

Zero resigned himself to silence.

Birdy roared to a stop behind Zero in his jet taxi. "Get in," he ordered. "We're leaving."

Zero nodded and climbed aboard.

As Birdy took off and fell into place not far behind the Cosmo Jetter, Zero stared once again at the badge in his hand, this tiny thing that held significance disproportionate to its size. He knew he couldn't just leave it behind at the fortress, but any plans for it past that were hazy. "Birdy," he started, "I...I think I should give this back to Shirobon."

Birdy snorted. "What good is that going to do?"

"H-huh?" Zero was surprised by this question.

"Look," Birdy said, waving a hand, "in the end, this is really all your decision. But I feel like I need to give my two cents on this. And my two cents are, if you give the badge back, you're only going to make the kid feel bad."

"But why? He knows I'm not his brother. You said so yourself."

Birdy followed the Cosmo Jetter through on a fairly sharp turn. "It's true that you're not Mighty in the flesh and blood." He sighed. "But you hold his memories, and his personality. There are times that you are Mighty...even if it's only as his ghost."

Zero shivered. He knew that fact all too well.

"Like I said, Shirobon's just trying to deal the best he can. He knows what the facts are, but for the sake of some closure, he's living the illlusion for a while longer. Me...heh, well, it's the same thing. Even I find it hard to have to tell myself that you're not Mighty come back from the dead."

"But if I'm not Mighty, then who am I?"

"Hm?"

Zero was staring out the window now. He vaguely noticed the shadows of the clouds beneath them casting stark shadows on the ocean surface. He wished the answers to his questions were as clear-cut as that. "I was built as a receptacle for Mighty's data, battle or otherwise," he said quietly. "I have essentially no personality or mind outside of Mighty's."

"That can't be true," Birdy said. "If it were, you wouldn't be able to talk about him like you do differentiating between yourself and Mighty."

Zero shook his head. "The boundary is small. Even what I have of myself isn't fully free from Mighty's influence."

A pause. "Well, then, it looks like you have another decision to make."

Zero caught Birdy's eye in the rearview mirror. "Wh-what do you mean?"

"Who do you want to be, Zero?"

J-E-T-T-E-R-S

Later that day, at Jetters HQ, Birdy approached a sulking Shirobon not far from the main tower. Shirobon sat on the dry grass, leaning against a large water pipe that dipped into the sea far below. "What's with the sad face, kid?" Birdy asked.

Shirobon kept his gaze down, silent.

"Does it bother you that he's still 'alive'?"

Shirobon jumped to attention at this. "What's that supposed to mean?" he demanded angrily. "My brother's d—"

"The next fight is probably going to be our last one," Birdy said. "I've gotten the answers I need. I have no regrets." He looked seriously at Shirobon. "I suggest that you take care of any unfinished business."

Shirobon gazed up at Birdy, confused. "Unfinished business...?"

Birdy smirked ever so slightly. "I'm proud of you for at least giving him Mighty's badge."

Before Shirobon could speak again, Birdy walked away.

Shirobon started to call out after Birdy, then changed his mind and settled for a small 'hmph' instead. "What does he know, anyway?" he said sullenly. But his voice lacked the resentment indicating a case of denial. "Trying to act all cool and mysterious and stuff..."

On the other side of the water pipe, Zero sat just as uncertain and thoughtful as Shirobon. Mighty's badge was practically glued to his hand now—he'd been holding the thing since he first picked it up back at the fortress. He didn't feel he had a right to wear it, and he didn't really have any other place to put it.

I don't have my answers, Zero thought, running his thumb over the feather of the badge. I don't even know where to get them. He looked up at Bomber Planet in the sky, which was still well within the clutches of Mechadoc's gigantic mechanical claws. Misty helped me, and Grandma helped me, and Birdy did too, but...

"Hey, Shirobon!" Shout's voice rang out faintly behind him. "The professor wants to see everyone back inside. He wants to talk about what we're going to do next."

"Oh!" There was a slight rustle of grass. "Okay, then. Let's go!"

"Any idea where Zero went?"

"No, not really..."

"Oh, well. I'm sure we'll find him on the way. And if we don't, we'll find him sooner or later, anyway. He can't have gone far."

"S-sure."

"Hey, what's wrong? You've been like this ever since we got back."

"Nothing's wrong!"

"But you're all pouty and stuff."

"I-I was just thinking, that's all!"

"Well, don't hurt yourself. I know it's hard for you."

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean? Shout? Shout! Come back here and tell me!"

Shirobon's cries faded away, mixed in with Shout's giggles.

A seagull on top of the water pipe squawked noisily.

Zero got up and left.

J-E-T-T-E-R-S

Zero found Birdy hanging out at the top of a high cliff some distance away from Jetters HQ. Birdy sat thoughtfully on the edge, one leg dangling over the sea and the other raised up as an armrest. He turned around as Zero approached him. "You're not with the others?" he said.

"I could ask the same of you," Zero responded.

"Heh. Fair enough." Birdy ran a hand through his hair. "I suppose there's something else you want to ask me?"

Zero felt embarrassed at having been figured out so quickly. "S-sorry," he stuttered, looking down.

Birdy waved him off. "I don't blame you for it. What is it?"

"I...well..." Zero tried to find a coherent way to string together his dilemma. "I don't know where...where to find my answers."

Birdy nodded in encouragement.

"I've asked Misty, and Grandma, and you, and you've all told me things that've helped me figure things out, and I'm really grateful for that. But it feels more like the more I figure things out, the more that things fall apart for me." Zero sat down tentatively next to Birdy. "How did you find out what you were looking for?"

Birdy shrugged. "I imagine in the same way that you're trying to get them now: you ask people, they give you answers, and you try to make sense of those answers in a way that means something to you."

Zero hesitated before asking his next question. "If it isn't too personal for you...what were the answers that you needed?"

Birdy looked strangely at Zero.

Zero quickly ducked his head in apology. "Sorry. You don't have to answer that if you don't want to."

"It's not that," Birdy said, his expression a mix between pity and amusement. "Just that...you must be pretty confused to be asking that of me."

Zero kept his head down.

Birdy leaned back. "How best to say this in the shortest amount of words possible and still have it make sense..." he began. "I suppose that a good way to put it is that I finally realized that I'd done the best I could concerning Mighty."

"What do you mean?"

"I blamed myself for his mistakes," Birdy said. "I blamed myself for him dying, for him wanting to quit the Jetters, for him everything. I hated myself so much for his sake. But..." He exhaled a soft laugh. "That damn idiot was so good at hiding everything that I suppose I couldn't have figured things out unless he told me himself. I'm just not all that good at reading people, you know?" He looked at Zero. "I'm indebted to you for telling me the truth where Mighty wouldn't say anything. And because of that, I believe that—even if it's not really true in the grand scheme of things—I'd done all I could for him as a teammate...and as a friend."

Zero hummed thoughtfully.

Birdy shrugged again. "We all have limits," he said. "You, me, Mighty, everyone here. But it's my opinion that you have nothing to regret if you do the best you can within your limitations. Recognize where you can walk and where you can't, and work with your limitations instead of letting them stop you."

"Work with my limitations...?"

Birdy laughed and stood up. "Clearly I've talked too much," he said. "I've lost you already." He gestured with his head towards the Jetters HQ tower. "Let's go talk with the professor, then. I imagine he has interesting things to tell us."

J-E-T-T-E-R-S

The Jetters stared up at one of many computer screens that lined the top wall of the mission briefing room. On it were the wireframe diagrams of the three mechanical arms that Mechadoc had built in order to clamp onto Bomber Planet. Incomprehensible bits of information scrolled up the screen as the computer performed its scans.

"This concludes my explanation regarding the arms' energy source," Ein said, clapping his hands together. "So we're going to destroy the arms by striking their base here on Jetters Planet."

"We're going to attack them, then?" Shout asked.

"Not right now, Shout. I still need a little more time to work out some specifics."

Most of the Jetters had varying miserable expressions on their faces, but Birdy was his usual calm and collected self, his arms crossed and his eyes closed as he listened to Ein. Next to Birdy stood Zero, who very pointedly kept his gaze forward. Zero could, however, still sense Shirobon looking at him.

Ein cleared his throat. "Nevertheless, here is the plan. The Jetters will handle the first arm."

"Roger!" came the collective voices of Shout, Bongo, Gangu, and Shirobon as they straightened up and saluted.

"The Bomber Defense Team is assigned to the second arm."

On a communication screen above, a large black Bomberman in a gi grunted his approval. "Leave it to us!" he barked.

"Finally, Zero and Birdy will take care of the third arm."

Zero looked up in surprise.

"Huh?" Shout blinked at the professor. "They won't be working with us?"

"I'll stay with Shirobon and the others," Birdy offered, only further perplexing the rest of the team.

"Birdy," Zero began, "what...?"

"I'm going to go with Shirobon and the others, all right?" Birdy said, lowering his voice, though the acoustics in the briefing room were good enough that he could be heard anyway. "I'll come on over as soon as things are done on our end. Just hold your position until then."

Zero nodded. "Understood." He paused. "Please take care of Shirobon and the others."

Birdy snorted. "No need to tell me that."

The four other members of the Jetters watched the ongoing dialogue with a depressed sort of curiosity.

Birdy suddenly turned around. "Will all of you quit looking like someone just died?" he snapped, sharp and authoritative. "We've got our orders—let's go already!"

"A-all right!"

"Yeah!"

"Let's go take down Mechadoc!"

"Time to save Jetters Planet!"

As Birdy and his teammates filed out of the room, Zero held his spot, staring up at the computer screens. He was casually calculating additional specs about the arms based on the information available and matching them up with what he knew about his abilities as an android. He should be able to handle just a single arm, he concluded, as massive and powerful as it was. He was still feeling the effects of having MA-10's hand rip straight through his torso, even at this point in the game, but even when taking that into consideration his calculations indicated that the situation was still in his favor...

"You should go too," Ein said, startling Zero out of his thoughts. "You'll be taking one of the Sky Jetters. Do you know where to find those?"

Zero started to say no, but he could almost hear a voice inside him saying that yes, he did happen to know where the Sky Jetters were, because no, he wasn't that bad with directions, no matter what his kid brother said. He nodded.

Ein smiled thinly. "Then I think it's time to take off."

J-E-T-T-E-R-S

Zero sat in near darkness inside one of the Sky Jetter containers, brooding. He knew he'd never been inside one of these before, but every button on the control panel was like an old friend to him. It was still as cramped as ever—he was sure that he'd asked Ein if it were possible to increase the legroom just a little, because he could barely fit inside the thing. And then Birdy had started making fun of him, asking if he needed the extra room because he'd gained weight. Which he so had not. Really.

Mighty hadn't, rather, Zero corrected himself, resisting the urge to smack his head into the dashboard. There he'd gone again, re-living a life that had never been his. He was a hack through and through, guilty as charged. He had to admit, though, that that memory was pretty funny.

As Zero felt the container shift and settle into its place at the side of the Cosmo Jetter, his communication screen suddenly switched on to show the face of Professor Ein. "Oh! Professor!" he exclaimed, surprised. "What's going on? Is there a problem?"

"Zero..." Ein stopped himself. "No, please, let me call you Mighty, just for a little while. I have to talk to you."

Zero once again wondered what it would be like to blink. "Professor?"

"I'm sorry I couldn't tell how you were feeling." Ein's shoulders were slumped in regret and sadness. "I'm sorry I let you die..."

Zero shook his head. "It had nothing to do with you," he insisted. "It was Mighty's decision from the start."

"I need to know, Zero." Ein looked up, looking his age for the first time since Zero remembered seeing him. "How...did Mighty die?" He hesitated. "And did he...hate us?"

Zero didn't reply. He wished he didn't have to.

Ein's melancholy visage glimmered at him from the communication screen. "The Jetters team is, essentially, a very selfish creation of mine," he said. "It's true that we keep peace in the universe by preventing the Hige Hige Bandits from doing as they wish. But the Bandits wouldn't even exist in the first place if I had just let the old rivalry between myself and Bagular drop. We don't go at it head-to-head anymore...but we make others do what we're now too old—or cowardly—to do ourselves." He sighed. "I'd been so caught up in catching Bagular's next moves that I hadn't even noticed how you were feeling. Here I had recruited you for my own purposes, and I couldn't even take the time to see how you were doing." He looked away, ashamed. "You...you must have hated me for that..."

Zero shook his head frantically. "N-no, it's not that at all!"

"I apologize for this," Ein said. "I know you must be having problems of your own to work out. And I know that you're only Mighty's ghost in a shell. But please...I need to know how he was feeling on his last mission, how he was feeling around that time. I need to know...if I was the one who killed him."

Dead silence.

Zero averted his gaze from Ein's, studying the grooves on the handles of the plane's steering levers. How to best answer those questions, he didn't know. He had been fairly truthful with Grandma and Birdy about what they wanted to know about Mighty, but to see the pain on their faces once they knew had taken its toll on Zero. Even worse than Mighty's ghost, he was the messenger that no one would think twice about shooting if they weren't so aggrieved by the messages that he brought.

Then Birdy's voice came back to Zero in fragments.

"I'm indebted to you for telling me the truth where Mighty wouldn't say anything. Because of that, I believe that I'd done all I could for him as a comrade...and as a friend."

"We all have limits. But it's my opinion that you have nothing to regret if you do the best you can within your limitations. Work with your limitations instead of letting them stop you..."

And suddenly Zero knew.

He had his answer.

Ein needs to know that he hadn't failed Mighty in some way, Zero thought, looking up again, that he had done what he could given the circumstances and his own limits. If he knows that, he can move on, like Birdy has. Ein blinked at him from behind his glasses, expecting an answer. And I...I can...

The roar of jet engines as the Cosmo Jetter launched interrupted Zero's train of thought, but he knew already what he had to do. "I never hated you, Professor," he said.

Ein gave a start. "M-Mighty?"

"I never hated you, or any other member of the Jetters," Zero continued calmly. "I only hated myself because I couldn't aspire to what I wanted to be, or at least what I thought I wanted to be.

"By the time the Nonbiri mission came around, I was already frustrated because I hadn't gotten my seventh Bomb Star, and I couldn't figure out what I was doing wrong. The entire reason I joined the Jetters in the first place was because I thought doing so would finally let me get that last Bomb Star." He briefly glanced away. "Professor, I believed in the Jetters' cause, and I enjoyed everyone's company, but the seventh Bomb Star was my priority. If being with the Jetters wasn't helping me with that, there seemed to be no point in remaining outside of socializing. I thought...I thought I would just burden everyone with my presence. If anything, I should apologize to you for using your offer for my own selfishness...which didn't amount to much in the end anyway."

Ein swallowed, but didn't say anything.

"I hadn't planned on dying on Nonbiri, but I knew that the mission there would be the end for me somehow, somewhere." Zero laughed. "At least I accomplished my mission, though, didn't I?"

Ein stared at him for a moment. "Yes," he said finally, giving a weak smile. "Yes, you did. It was to be expected of a great Bomberman like yourself."

Satisfied, Zero sat back in his seat. "Mighty died unexpectedly but willingly," he said. "This was never meant to be a suicide mission for him. It just so happened that circumstances beyond his control interfered with things, and death became the only way of reaching his objectives." He sighed. "To accomplish his mission to the best of his ability before leaving for good...it was his way of saying 'thank you' to all of you for being such good friends to him."

Ein sniffled. "W-well...I..." He took a shaky breath and tried to speak again. "At least h-he...he..." He turned around. "Pardon me, I d-do believe my allergies are acting up. My nose is running and my eyes are tearing." He grabbed a tissue to blow his nose, then snatched another tissue to dab at his eyes. He faced the screen again. "A-anyway...so that's how it was."

Zero nodded. "This was Mighty's fight alone," he said. "Only he could have really done anything about it. So please don't blame yourself for his death or for how he felt. Birdy doesn't. At least, not anymore."

"Oh?" Ein gave a snort at that. "Well, I suppose if he doesn't...then I've got no reason to, either." He smiled. "Besides, you wouldn't like that very much, would you?"

"Not at all."

Ein nodded. "Then I won't."

"Thank you, Professor."

Ein shook his head. "No, Zero, thank you for letting me get this out, for giving me a chance to say all this. Like I said, I know you must be having your own problems..."

"It's no problem, really," Zero said. "I...I had to do this, too."

"Well, two birds with one stone and all that." Ein started to walk away, then stopped. "Oh, by the way, I need to ask one more thing of you."

"Yes?"

Ein twiddled his thumbs, innocently casting his eyes down. "Those...interesting...magazines that you hid on the third floor in that one file cabinet...c-could I have those?"

It took five seconds before Zero realized what Ein was talking about. "P-P-Professor!" he squeaked, blushing furiously. "How did you know...I mean, what gave you the idea that...I mean...?"

Ein smirked. "Oho! So they were yours!"

"Were not!" Zero insisted, still bright red. "B-Birdy made me hide them for him!"

"Is that so?" Ein wagged a finger at him. "Well, I suppose I'll have to just confiscate those, then. I imagine they could be very distracting for the both of you before a mission."

"W-wait! Professor!"

But Ein had already signed off.

As Zero stared at the now-blank screen in pure disbelief, he once again registered the hum of the Cosmo Jetter engines in his audio receptors...the newly reborn darkness in the Sky Jetter...the slightly uncomfortable seat. How suddenly acute and alive all of it seemed to be. How suddenly precious existence and awareness became when it seemed so disposable before. How absurd his worries and angst now appeared.

Zero laughed long and hard, like he never had before in either Mighty's memories or his own.

This was what he'd needed to do. This was the answer he'd been looking for. Why else would he feel so free and light, even though he knew—like Mighty once had—that this mission would mean the end for him somehow, somewhere?

I am a mere shadow, a dying ghost of someone very dear and loved, he thought, calming down and glancing at the Jetters badge that rested atop the control panel. I can never truly be Mighty to those who wish me to be. But I can—and will gladly—still be him temporarily for those same people if it means that they can heal themselves and move on. He bowed his head. If anything, let Mighty live again through me...so that he can take care of his unfinished business, too.

J-E-T-T-E-R-S

The screen switched on again about fifteen minutes later. This time, though, it was Birdy. "Hey, Zero," he said. "We're going to be arriving at the base shortly. Ready to go?"

"Ready."

Birdy raised an eyebrow at him, amused. "Ready, indeed. You're even dressing the part now."

"What?" Zero looked down, and caught sight of the Jetters badge pinned to his chest. "Oh. I...I guess you could say that."

Birdy smirked. He began to input the appropriate commands into the main computer to ready the Sky Jetter for use, typing with an expert ease.

"Oh, uh, Birdy?"

"Yeah?"

"...Professor Ein found those magazines on the third floor."

Birdy only snorted. "I told you that you were better off keeping those things at home."

"I wasn't going to risk having Grandma find them! Or Shirobon, for that matter."

"Big deal. Your grandma already knew about the facts of life and Shirobon would need to learn them sooner or later. And who better to learn from than his 'experienced' older brother?"

Zero found himself blushing again. "You're so crude, Birdy."

"Systems all green on this end," Birdy said, ignoring the remark. "You're clear to launch."

Zero nodded and shifted the engine into gear. "All right," he said. "Sky Jetter, launch!"

J-E-T-T-E-R-S

Who am I?

It's a simple answer in retrospect.

Yet it is not a singular one.

For I am Max, the killer.

And I am Mighty, the killed.

And forevermore...I am Zero.

The nothing.

The end.

The beginning.

J-E-T-T-E-R-S

Review if you will, flame if you must. If you're alive after all the angst, that is.

-Sora G. Silverwind
more to life than tryin' to survive