Thor never liked admitting it when he was younger, but he envied how controlled his brother appeared at all times. How if he had nothing to say, he wouldn't fill the air in an effort to shy away from silence like Thor did. Silence had always made Thor somewhat uncomfortable because of the energy between people, unspoken, waiting for a reaction that would never come. If Loki did have something to say, though, it was always silver-tongued, dripping in red wine, absinthe, and sarcasm. It was as elegant as it was poisonous, easy to fall for but difficult to trust.
But now that he was older, Thor had realized the value of swallowing his words. Of leaving people guessing and trusting them to recognize the weight in his word when he elected to give it. Like a king. Even more, he treasured silence now, as it meant he had time to think, for better or for worse. It meant that the other Asgardians were not quarrelling before him, arguing over depleting resources aboard the Grandmaster's vessel. Nor were they asking for his advice when he had no idea what in the Nine Realms they could do, hurtling through space, slowly starving.
Standing in the mirror of the Grandmaster's, no, his, quarters, he examined his newly-adorned eyepatch. His hair, both short and sharp, but nothing like what he loved. Thor sighed, more shallow than he normally would have, only making the anxiety that held the rest of his lungs more apparent by simply breathing. He didn't know what to do. For maybe the first time in his life. He felt so uncertain that he was sick to his stomach.
Gently touching the edges of the patch and angling his jaw, observing the all-too-sudden changes, he heard the door of his quarters slide open, then closed. He shut his eye, then opened them again and met a pair of emerald eyes in the mirror. A deeper sigh this time, Thor mustered the emotional energy to pull at least one side of his mouth into a lazy smile, turning around.
"I could hug you if you were here," throwing a gaudy paperweight up and down in his palm like a Midgard boy would a baseball before tossing it in a gentle arc at his brother. His brother's illusion. Hopefully his brother.
"I'm here," came the reply, along with a heavy slap of pure metal on flesh, lithe shoulders and elbows opening in a gesture altogether grand and subtle to prompt the God of Thunder, King of Asgard, to hug.
"Perhaps not. I do not wish to shatter this illusion, so as to keep the appearance that you truly are here, brother." The smile Thor wore turned sad and worn, he turned back to the mirror to pass a hand through his shortened hair, jaw tight. Turning again, he decided to sit on the large bed occupying the majority of the captain's chambers. You're the captain, the king, now. You wanted this for all those years. Each time he turned, he expected Loki's painfully accurate and thorough visage to disappear, almost hoping for the torturous personification of Home to cease pestering him about what once was.
"What makes you think I am not truly here? You performed your little test, are you not pleased I've finally come to help the people instead of causing more trouble?" Loki steps forth with the gait of a wolf, one foot in front of another. Dangerous, yet elegant, and painfully real apart from his words.
Thor notes that this vision of Loki does not say our people, delivering yet another crack to his ailing, breaking heart.
"Now I know this to be fake. Perhaps a hallucination, then, since in no reality would you propose helping anyone of your own accord. Especially without asking anything in return," Thor groans, waving his hand dismissively. Just a vision of what I wish to happen. This must be born of exhaustion, Thor thinks, pressing his face into his hands and rubbing his eye, then his temples. Loki's feet appear in Thor's downcast glance, and he feels chilly fingers at the edge of his jaw ghost to his chin and tip upwards.
At this time, he acknowledged his brother's presence to be true. Though uncertain even of his brother's allegiance, he at least knew for sure that Loki had chosen at this moment to be by his side. Perhaps not forever, perhaps for not more than a celestial day or mercurial minute. But at least now.
Thor reaches taut arms up, parallel his ears to wrap fingers around his brother's ribcage, causing a startled jolt that is quickly hidden from the latter. The blonde buries his face into his brother's chest. He keeps silent, knowing there is nothing that needs or should be said. Loki struggles between letting his arms hang at his side disinterestedly or letting them rest on Thor's muscled shoulders.
Moments later, Loki swears he hears a sniffle and scowls. "Hey, watch it, those are my good leathers." The trickster steps back, eyebrow wrinkled in irritation both at the oaf tarnishing his armor and the sudden, unpredictable change of emotion.
While no stranger to changeable attitudes, Loki is taken off guard by Thor's, looking down at a reddened eye to see a scarred arm come up and wipe tears begging to drop from the blonde's face.
"I...I could not have wished this torture on any of my enemies. Watching all of our people—"
"Our?" Loki interrupts, hands lifted defensively from Thor's shoulders, one hand raising an index finger in order to dare his brother to continue.
"Our, Loki. They are ours." Thor's jaw tenses, he retracts his hands and places them in his lap, opening and closing as if lips meaning to say more. To plead for some respite or pity for his brother to lie to him this once.
"A lovely proposal, brother, but I'm afraid the kingdom won't settle for two kings. Especially in such a manner as our relation stands."
"Norns, Loki," Thor exasperatedly sighs. "You know I dared not go there."
"No?" An angled jaw lifts and wavy black hair falls gracefully in response. Upon seeing an absence of reaction in his brother, Loki turned on his heel to walk to a compartment sidled beside the king's bed, bumping his hand into it to reveal a seidr-infused charm in the shape of a snake. An ironic gift made by Loki after Frigga reprimanded him for stabbing Thor after taking the form of a snake, insisting he "make retribution for his misdeeds" in some form. The charm would produce a light shock to any who touched it, unbeknownst to their mother, and much to Thor's chagrin. Nonetheless, Thor kept it, and he resented that somehow Loki knew that and exactly where it was hidden.
"Sentimental, aren't we?" Loki smirked, lifting the charm and letting it levitate above his hand, making sure his brother had a view of the item.
"It is the only part of you that ever stays, brother," the blonde bit out. "All this time you have had to torment me, and the one moment I require but a bit of solace from it, you try me once more!"
Thor stood up, stepping in Loki's direction with purpose. In return, Loki took several steps back, the charm now tucked in his palm and his shoulders bumping a storage cabinet. "Can you, for once, just...be kind again?" Thor raised a hand not to strike, but to grasp at the back of his neck as a mother would scruff her pup, forcing his brother to look him in the eyes.
"When was I kind, brother?" Loki spat back at him, eyes as hard as precious stones, making Thor detest that he marveled at them like they were such treasures.
Processing his brother's words, his face dropped, as did his hand from Loki's neck to his shoulder. "If there was a time to lie, Loki." Thor sighed, his hand tightening on the brunette's shoulder, letting the rest of the sentence be unsaid.
"Thor, I love you dearly, but I will not lie to you about what I think or feel," Loki began, his eyes refusing to meet Thor's, but returning when the topic changed.
Tired of grimacing and griping, Thor jokingly uttered, "That isn't the kind of lie I expected…" Chuckling and sporting a sad smile, the blonde sighed. "I'm tired of this game, brother."
"There is no game, Thor."
"There always was to you. You cannot possibly think you can convince me otherwise. It was always 'come hither' then 'no, now go', constantly hot and cold, as they say on Midgard." Thor's tone lilted like it did when he chastised Loki, causing the raven-haired sorcerer's brows to arch in intrigue, wondering where this would go.
"They say that here, too, Thor," Loki rolled his eyes, meaning more to be playful than cutting at the moment, sensing that any more prodding might provoke his brother to lash out. At this point, he wasn't sure whether he would prefer that or not. What may or may not follow could certainly turn to his favor. He would always deny the game they played, but not sensuous tension and bittersweet rewards of them, should they come to fruition at last.
"Cease your paltry attempts at evasion, Loki…" Thor admonished, his tone catching Loki's eye again.
With hands raised in mock surrender, "All right, all right. How am I playing hot and cold with you, Thor?"
Loki had decided to humor Thor, give him a chance to unload years of unresolved tensions, with the hope this would be the last time they ever had to talk about their feelings ever again. He would much rather continue to play and never have to have this conversation, but if Thor required this talk to shape up and become the ruler he always thought he would be, then so be it.
"The way you linger, and yet push me away every time I attempt to draw you close. It is almost as if you have always known." Loki can see Thor's downward cast glance, brows concernedly knitted together. The hand on his shoulder was becoming more limp, like a withering root. "As if you mean to constantly tease my affections and test my loyalty."
At this, Thor looked up into Loki's veridian eyes, and Loki looked back. "Even though you knew you had it all along." A genuine, but gentle smile graced the blonde's lips. All at once, Loki felt flattered and unworthy. Because he did, indeed, play this game. Yet not because he ever thought Thor truly returned these affections; but only because he thought the oaf wouldn't. Loki believed that this was his one, pathetic power play over Thor and he truly believed it was all imagined. Yearning began to only play a part in this game in their late adolescence when Loki was learning of his true birthright, which only intensified Loki's desires to tug at Thor. Whether it was fake or real, he lost track in the grand scheme of things. Lost between the games he played to save face and the realities he refused to face.
"No," Loki muttered, eyebrows knit and gleaming eyes now soft. "I didn't." He was answering a claim that was never uttered: You knew I loved you all this time. Still, he refused to admit he ever played the game, even if he would admit to desiring a particular outcome.
Thor's limp hand caressed Loki's jaw at the juncture of his ear and neck, thumb affectionately pressed to his cheekbone. "If not then, then now." Thor's azure eye searched Loki's emerald ones, finding panic, unspoken words, and restless energy. It seemed that now, when Loki would otherwise have something sarcastic to say or nothing at all were it not warranted, he was struggling for words or actions. Loki found himself detesting silence like Thor once did, cursing himself for not having a reaction, an escape, a plan of some sort like he always did.
One thought. Just one. And in his typical mercurial fashion, Loki acted upon it, taking half a step forward and bringing his lips to meet Thor's in passion and longing. He didn't dare to raise his hands or arms to embrace him, still for fear of rejection, like he'd cautioned himself against his entire life.
Thor leaned forward without any hesitation at all, his free hand gripping the sorcerer's waist while the hand on his face pulled him closer. The blonde tilted his head and squeezed lightly into Loki's neck, making the latter gasp in a combination of surprise and pleasure, but allowing Thor to press his tongue further into Loki's mouth, causing the younger to react with a moan and to bring one hand into short blonde hair while the other pressed against his chest, simultaneously ready to push away by the breast or pull by the collar, ever the opportunist and cautionary tale.
Ever tactless, according to his brother, Thor took initiative to pull Loki towards him while stepping backward, slowing their kiss enough to bring it to a stop only to all but throw Loki into his place and then sit on the bed.
Likewise, the always cynical sorcerer furrows his brows and makes a face, which Thor ignores as he drops to his knees between the sorcerer's legs, almost eye-level with him when he stood up straight and Loki slouched. The blonde brought his hands up to cup the brunette's face, as he had done countless times in affection and rage. "Brother…"
"Not your brother." Loki muttered, narrowing his eyes as he knocked one hand away from his face, only to grab it again by the wrist, causing Thor to let his fingers hang. Uncertain whether this would end or not, the rarely-doubtful God of Thunder steeled himself though he parted his lips, casting his glance to the side.
That was until Loki dipped his face ever so slightly to bring Thor's index and middle finger into his mouth, sliding his silver-tongue between them and locking his eyes with his brother's, as soon as he dared to meet them.
"Norns, Loki…" Thor moaned. "How did we wait this long."
"How did you?" Loki smirked behind the god-king's fingers, throwing the question back on him as if it were Thor's fault. Still feeling as though this all were some joke, Loki conceded he would make it just as pleasurable and memorable for Thor as it was for himself. He would make sure his brother couldn't forget this. He smirked.
The sorcerer began to pull Thor's wrist back up to meet his glistening lips when he felt a tug back. Sighing, Loki looked down into Thor's eye with irritation but was met with a distracting bulge below. Well, that isn't the problem, he thought.
"Loki…" He chided.
"Thor." Loki pressed back, his jaw tightening, feeling another discussion about feelings coming on.
"You need not hide."
"When did I start?"
"Specifically? Now," Thor grinned, his attempts to be cheeky not ignored by his brother, but he changed his disposition. "I can sense hesitation in you. If I need to say it, I have wanted this for years, so please do not think this is but a whim in a vulnerable moment—"
"That is not what I had in mind. You are too open with how you feel in your words. In truth, they are always written all over your face, anyway." The words, 'Don't worry, it's not you,' left unspoken but hovering in the air. Loki cast his glance away, though his fingers still encouraged Thor as they traced runes in his neck and buzzed-short hair. "I, too, can feel vulnerable, you know."
Thor wanted to laugh; of course his brother could feel insecure. It was the very root of almost every issue that lay between them, when at the crux of it, he wished for nothing to lay between them but themselves. A mess of tangled, slipping limbs begging for purchase in hair, lips, muscles, and angled appendages and hips. Torn from his fantasy, knowing this was a serious moment, but all he could say was, "Why?"
It wasn't the most graceful way to ask what had made Loki hesitate, but the two knew what was meant anyways. "How could you want me? After everything I have done to spite you? Stabbing you from eight till eight hundred and so onwards till we die."
"We."
"Yes, yes, the semantics are irrelevant, brother," Loki griped, sensing Thor was placing sentimentality in little gestures once more. He resented this, no matter how right Thor was. Loki did wish to pester and enjoy his brother's company till the end of their times.
"They are everything."
"Maybe so. But my question still stands. Who is being evasive now, dear Thor?" He had meant for the words to come out with more of a bite. If anything, they were sad and revealed the building insecurity that Thor was leaving his affections left unsaid.
Thor reacted with by pressing his forehead to the sorcerer's, uttering, "I love you dearly, brother. As such and so much more. I always have, and I love you because of everything that we have gone through together." The hand Loki was resting on Thor's shoulder flicked up so as to utter a catty 'How does that make a bit of sense?', but the blonde would not let him breathe words into it. "Because in our lives, we have been brothers and fought together instead of against one another for a thousand years longer than we feuded. These years of betrayal are but larger tricks." Thor smiled up at Loki with such gentleness that he almost wished to slap it out of him, detesting and loving his sentimentality simultaneously.
"It is nothing compared to all the years I spent loving you. I always knew you would come back, one way or another. No matter how far you went, how malicious your plan, you never truly wished me to be done away with," Thor gazed deeply into Loki's eyes, which had softened once more, almost to that of when he was a curious child. "I love you because of what you have done, because you have never succeeded in divorcing yourself from me. From us. Because deep down, you always knew, too."
Loki at last smiled, sighing from relief, but made no move to continue further. Thor took Loki's changed mood to be encouragement, pressing his lips once more to the sorcerer's, kissing him deeply. Loki then used the hand on his shoulder and behind his neck to pull him closer, pressing their bodies flush together and forcing Thor to stand tall once more, who happily obliged.
Annoyed at how the hint still had not been taken, Loki fell back onto the chamber's bed, yanking Thor with him and attacking his mouth with a bite to his bottom lip, "Would you just get up here? Hel, Thor, come now." His teeth gently pulled Thor's lip, earning a growl that only served to stoke the fire further in the god-king.
One arm trapped on the side of Loki's head, and the other gripping his hip, Thor kissed Loki roughly before moving his kisses from the corner of the sorcerer's mouth, his cheek, and down his neck, taking turns biting and sucking. The none so gentle treatment caused Loki to cant his hips into Thor's growing hardness, earning moans from both men. A hand traveled from Loki's hip to his leathers, struggling to unbuckle and unlace them so he could prove to himself he was doing the same thing to Loki as he was doing to him.
As if in competition or to show how it's done, Loki swiftly divested Thor of his pants, smirking all the while but chocking up Thor's slowness to his being busy littering the sorcerer's neck with bites and bruises. Loki quickly took the blonde into his hand, leaning up to whisper, "Hurry, or I may disappear into dust again," before none too gently biting his lobe and snaking a tongue around the shell of his ear.
Thor whined in a combination of arousal and bereft, "Do not say that, brother," all while catching up and beginning to stroke the brunette in an unpredictably delicious combination of slow and fast pulls and pushes.
"What wish you for me to say?" Loki crooned, head tilting in mock drama and apology, his nose tracing the god's jaw uncharacteristically gently compared to the rest of the affair.
"Oh, Thor, please take me like a maiden!" The blonde chastised, grinning widely and mimicking his brother's eccentric head tilts, unable to stop himself from chuckling.
"Fuck you." Loki growled as he yanked Thor's hair and crushed their lips together, grinding his hips down not into Thor's hand, but hips as well with the goal of teasing him further.
As soon as they parted, Thor let out a breathless laugh, "That is a bit more like it, brother."
"You need to stop with that, at least while you have my cock in your hand."
"Better it somewhere else, dear bro—" Thor started, only to be interrupted by Loki flipping the both of them over and pinning Thor by his neck with one hand situated on his jugular and the other holding one firm bicep down onto the bed.
"I will be the judge of that, soon enough," Loki says, leaning down and sucking on Thor's bottom lip, worrying it from his earlier bite while pressing further down on the blonde's throat and piercing his nails into the meaty flesh of the other's arm.
Unexpectedly, Thor groaned deep in his chest, bucking his hips into Loki and gently tugging him by his hair in a plead to get the younger god to assault his neck. And that he did, shifting his hand up and loosening his grip on the blonde's neck to sit just below the dip beneath his chin so that Loki may run his teeth along his brother's jugular, tasting pulse points and not stopping until his attentions shifted to place an open-mouthed kiss the bump in the center of Thor's throat (the 'Adam's Apple' so the Midgardians called it, he recalled), earning a pleasured sigh. Somehow this soft gesture in the midst of their rough play made him feel safe and valued, and he wished to express the same to Loki in time. When the sorcerer was done with him, that was.
Soon after, Loki snaked his tongue back down Thor's neck, unhooking and unbuckling his armor and leathers with deft fingers in time for his mouth to meet the juncture of neck and shoulder and bite it roughly, causing Thor to drop his head back onto the sheets with a needy moan. Grinning, Loki arched a brow and cocked his head ever so slightly at the noise, placing his hand back on the blonde's blushing cock, thick and large with the exact vein Loki had always imagined he would run his tongue up.
After stroking him a couple of times, Loki decided to slide down the bed and take Thor in his mouth all in a single motion, resulting in shuddering breaths and moans of Loki's name. Loki took this as encouragement and continued to bob his head and suck the other's lengthy cock while raking nails down Thor's chest, leaving raised red welts, until he heard a desperate, "Wait…"
Interrupted again, Loki looked up into Thor's eye with a brow arched, not bothering to let Thor's cock pop out of his mouth. "Take this off," Thor said, picking at the rest of Loki's leather armor, to which Loki rolled his eyes, and waved enough magic to disappear the rest of his clothing and render the two gods 'even.' With more determination, Loki descended upon Thor's cock, roughly pushing the god-king's cock to the back of his throat and back off, flicking his tongue in a way more serpentine than man with a grin more Cheshire than Asgardian.
Calloused hands drifted into raven hair, meaning to praise, but resulting in rough encouragement to continue. True to his nature, as soon as Loki found Thor enjoying himself a bit too much, he brought the blonde to the edge and let the cock pop out of his mouth, making Thor huff out a dissatisfied groan, pulling Loki by the hair up to meet his lips. This, too, Loki avoided, and would not allow Thor to kiss him.
Frightened that this would end and he had scared off the object of this affection for hundreds of years, Thor allowed Loki to do as he pleased. Whether that be leave, or to continue in some other manner. At this moment, he would allow Loki anything. The crown, he would almost be too happy to give up. But mostly bedroom-oriented gifts, he would quickly oblige. Allowing Loki to fuck his face until drool dripped from the seam of his lips, to be fucked by Loki, to have him use any magic he willed—anything. Yet what came was better than anything he could have imagined, as Loki used his seidr to produce some lubrication and prepare himself enough to take Thor's cock.
Loki pressed one hand onto Thor's bare chest, quickly moving it to his hip so as to steady himself, the erratic movements perhaps the only indication he was nervous in this entire affair. Anxious or not, the sorcerer positioned the blonde's cock and sank slowly onto it, knocking the breath out of him with the sheer size of it. The cool hand moved back to Thor's pectoral, and another parallel to it, as he continued to take Thor's cock at a pace torturous both to the sorcerer and the god-king.
"Loki… Norns, please…" Thor groaned with eyebrows knit, and lightning blue eye shut, trying to lightly cant his hips up in a plea for Loki to move, now that he was sidled entirely on his cock. This prompted a series of disapproving clicks from Loki, who pinned his hips down in an instant, though somehow without Loki's hands leaving his chest, which prompted Thor to crack open his eye and look down. His brother's hands remained on his chest, and when Thor tried once more to angle his hips up into Loki, he felt a small shock that both pained him and made his cock stand on end in pleasure.
The sorcerer chuckled, moving his hips to slide Thor out of him, and then abruptly back down causing them both to groan out. Knocked out of focus for a second, Thor looked back down to his hips to find the snake charm sidled barely a millimeter above his hips, levitating with Loki's seidr, prepared to send a shock directly into Thor's groin. Though Loki did also use some of his magic to hold Thor down, the shocks felt like more appropriate negative reinforcement for not following instruction. "You…"
"Trickster, brother. No name calling in bed." Another disapproving click. After Loki's moment of benevolence, allowing Thor the knowledge of how he was held down and why he was being shocked, Loki began to bounce up and down on Thor's cock, raven hair bobbing with the movement.
Thor looked up at the sight lovingly. Loki's eyes shut in pure pleasure, breath coming out in lovely pants, his eyebrows bunched together and lips parted. He was truly beautiful. Loki managed to find the perfect angle to hit that perfect spot and let the most delicious moan fall from his lips, making Thor immediately reach his hands up to Loki's face and bring him down for a kiss, unable to resist the impulse.
Aggravated at the loss of his pattern and perfect angle, but enjoying the kiss for a moment, Loki used his seidr to pin Thor's arms, as well. "Loki, please. Is this truly necessary?" Thor whined, but the restraints only served to make his cock ache more.
"Apparently, it is." He breathed, sitting back up straight and finding that angle again. When he did, Loki threw his head back, moaning once more and bouncing unevenly against that very spot, taking in shuddering breaths and taking Thor faster than he had before, causing the blonde to lean his head back on the mattress and pant, intermittently whimpering and wishing he could ask Loki for more without fear of losing his ability to speak, too.
He tried anyway, "Norns, you are the sexiest thing in the Nine Realms, Loki…" Thor moaned, trying to buck up into Loki once more, feeling the delicious shock in his groin, but not the resistance as a result of Loki's waning focus and control, allowing Thor to drive further into the keening sorcerer, who clearly reveled in the compliment, but also resulted in deep scratches running down his chest, forming more raised welts that would soon scream with blood under his skin.
Thor couldn't help but recognize how his brother was using him, and how incredibly turned on it made him. He wasn't allowed to do anything but praise the man and let him ride his cock into oblivion. Which by the Fates, he did. Thor watched Loki's cock, leaking with pre-cum, bob incessantly, begging for attention that Thor could not give, making him sigh in irritation.
To which, Loki peaked an eye open, watching Thor as he neared his release, leaning forward and kissing him deeply. Not roughly, but passionately. Loki still pulled off and pushed back down on Thor's cock, but this time bending over allowed him to rub his cock along their stomachs.
They watched each other, both knowing they were nearing their orgasm, when Thor began to buck up into Loki despite the shocks delivered, only serving to ignite his desire to pound into Loki more, and using his command of lightning to deliver the same shock up into Loki's prostate several times until they both came messily, crying out, trying desperately to watch one another, but with Loki ultimately bowing into Thor and hiding his face as Thor continued to fuck into his oversensitive body, wringing desperate mewls out that betrayed his confidence and power from before.
The electric shocks, too, dying out and the charm becoming dislodged in Loki's distraction, ending with Loki collapsing on Thor's chest, breathing hard along with Thor, who was free to wrap his arms around the younger god and press his face into dark, wavy hair.
"I love you, Loki. To the end of the Nine Realms and back."
Loki chuckled at the sentiment that their family shared in saying this, knowing how precious it was to Thor and thus allowing it. He smiled, and looked up at Thor. He wanted to apologize, but didn't know what for. Loki had finally won and gotten everything he had wanted. What was there to apologize for? The manipulation from the very beginning so that they would eventually end up here? No, it was hardly that. It was never even a game at all. Loki simply was that mercurial and insecure. Yet Thor was already making strides to make his love and affection known, though he stumbled their lives to be sensitive to his brother. Even at that moment he showed lovingness, as he combed his fingers gently through his brother's hair, his breath evening out.
"I love you, too, Thor. To the end of the Nine Realms," Loki said quietly, moving so he could press his face affectionately into Thor's neck.
"And back?" Thor popped his eye open, playfully suspicious, and cracked a smile. Loki could feel it against his neck and grinned back.
"And back."