Disclaimer: I don't own Cowboy Bebop or the song Tonight I Wanna Cry by Keith Urban.

AN: Oh! Before I forget! Thanks to my beta and bestest friend, The-Infamous-Bounty Hunter! Go check out her stories! She is an amazing writer!

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'I may have a past, but you have a future...' Faye Valentine trembled under the scratchy cotton sheets. She hated the cheap motel that she was staying in, the way she drunk herself stupid every night. "You ruined my future and my past, Spike.." She croaked out pathetically to the empty room. Ever since he had disappeared, somehow..he just destroyed her. Faye drank every night, chained smoked for hours on end and chose to cut herself, leaving the wounds that Spike had left on her heart visible. She used to love the rain; it was so comforting. But now she hated it.

That was another thing he ruined.

Alone in this house again tonight
I got the TV on, the sound turned down and a bottle of wine
There's pictures of you and I on the walls around me
The way that it was and could have been surrounds me
I'll never get over you walkin' away

She remembered it clearly. The day he left and never returned. "Where're you going? Why are you going? You told me to forget the past, because it doesn't matter... but you're the one still tied to the past, Spike!" Faye shouted at him.

"Look at my eyes, fake. One of them is a fake 'cause I lost it in an accident. Since then, I can see the past in one eye, and the present in the other. So I thought I can see only patches of reality, never the whole picture." His voice was calm and cool like always. It irritated her so much.

"Don't tell me things like that. You never told me anything about yourself, so don't tell me now!" Yet he continued to tell her the unwanted information. She didn't want to hear of this now!

"I felt like I was watching a dream I'd never wake up from. Before I knew it, the dream was all over." She figured now was a the time to tell him about her memory. She stared at his back forlornly, knowing it was now or never..

"My memory... finally came back, but nothing good came of it. There's no other place for me to return to. This is the only place I could go. And now you're leaving just like that! Why do you have to go? Where are you going? What are you going to do? Just throw away your life like it was nothing!"

'Don't leave because I love you, Spike! You're too blind to see it! Just don't leave me!' She screamed inwardly, angry tears welling up in her eyes. He turned around to leave but stopped when he heard the click of her gun.

"I'm not going there to die... I'm going there to find out if I'm really alive. I have to do it, Faye." Not being able to stand this anymore, Faye dropped to her knees. She fired five bullets into the ceiling as he walked away and as she cried her heart out.

The tears were now pouring down her cheeks but she hardly noticed she was crying. Was it good that she was alone? Or was that part of the reason she was crying. 'Why did you have to go Spike?' By now she was beyond drunk. That wasn't something new. She fell back on the bed and stared up at the ceiling. The memory replayed over and over in her head. There wasn't a moment in the day when she didn't think of him.

Would it help if I turned a sad song on
"All By Myself" would sure hit me hard now that you're gone
Or maybe unfold some old yellow lost love letters
It's gonna hurt bad before it gets better
But I'll never get over you by hidin' this way

Faye flickered open a silver zippo lighter. "The same old ritual starts over again," She spoke into the empty room, her voice hoarse and broken. She flung the lighter across the room and flinched when she heard it clatter.

There was no more sound in the motel room that night, except for the rain pattering on the window.