Mad Merlin
By Roguefan212000
I do not own Merlin.
Author's notes-This is just a random idea, I came up with. I don't know where this will go. Please read and review! Any feedback is greatly appreciated.
Part One
Merlin had grown distant since Gaius `s death. Every now and then, he would mysteriously disappear without notice. Then he would return, giving no inkling to his whereabouts. He was often lost in thought, dwelling far too much in the past. Sometimes he forgot important events in the present. Consumed by whatever dream or memory that haunted him. The oddity of his behavior greatly disturbed Queen Guinevere. He seemed to be getting worse over time. It was these very concerns, which lead the young queen to knock on the court sorcerer's chamber door. She didn't receive an answer. Gwen lightly bit at her bottom lip. A habit she always exhibited, when worried or upset. It was mid -day, Merlin normally didn't linger in his chambers for so long. Perhaps, he was ill. She heard a crashing noise behind the door.
"Merlin," Gwen cried. Fear making her voice sound shrill. She yanked on the door's handle, finding the door unlocked. She rushed inside his chambers. Feeling only partially relieved, when she looked at him. Merlin's blue eyes were red rimmed. Stubble shadowed his once clean shaven face. His raven hair was tangled and stuck out in every direction. Without his robe, she could plainly see how his tunic and trousers sagged on his thin frame. Merlin had grown thinner. He muttered to himself as he crawled on his hands and knees, searching for something. His chambers looked as though a wind storm had swept through it. Everything Merlin owned must be on the floor. The warlock picked through the mess, sighing in frustration. Cleary unable to find whatever it was he was searching for. Affection, worry and sympathy filled her heart as she watched her old friend. Gwen sat down beside him, not caring if her lacy lavender dress was soiled by the dirty floor. Gwen reached out, pulling Merlin into a hug. He flinched at first, so lost in thought he hadn't noticed her presence. Eventually, he relaxed in her arms. Gwen's brows furrowed in worry. Her best friend looked so weary and broken.
"What can I do to help you, Merlin?" Gwen asked softly.
"I don't think you can," he answered honestly. He wasn't simply referring to whatever he had lost, but to something on a much larger scale. Even after Merlin had confessed to being a warlock, Gwen was certain she and Arthur only knew half of his secrets. Gwen doubted she would ever know everything. She reminded him of all the times, he had been there for her. What kind of friend would she be, if she didn't do the same?
"Let me try", Gwen offered.
Flash back-
At times, Queen Guinevere would forget herself. A wine filled goblet spilled during the banquet; she rushed to clean up the mess. Then she would see the critical stares of the noble women. She heard the ladies whisper behind their hands. They called her uneducated and ill mannered in the ways of a gentle woman, and as a lady of the court. "What could you expect?" one woman whispered. "She was a black smith's daughter after all."
"Just think of her unseemly relations with the warlock," said another woman. "Why does the king allow it?" Gwen put on a brave face, pretending not to hear them. King Arthur was away, busy with political matters in another kingdom. Gwen was glad, Merlin stayed behind. Queen Guinevere became the esteemed hostess to her guests, who were noble by birth, but not in spirit. Merlin had told her this. She shouldn't let their petty behavior get her down. Gwen was grateful, when the banquet ended. Gwen and Merlin stood alone in the empty banquet hall.
"I'm just a former maid wearing a nice dress," Gwen said with a sigh. Merlin lifted her chin, making her look at him.
"No," Merlin replied sincerely. "You're the queen, who has a good heart and is worthy of Camelot's throne. A queen should always look her subjects in the eyes. She should never look down." Her mood lifted upon seeing Merlin's bright smile.
Gwen asked Merlin, what he was looking for. He told her, he was searching for a rose. Gwen glanced at her friend, but she did not comment. The rose was clearly very important to him. This was all that mattered. She settled beside Merlin, helping him look through piles of his belongings. Gwen searched through books, blankets and other various items scattered on the floor. She stood up then walked toward Merlin's wardrobe. She opened the door, seeing a large crack in the right bottom corner of the wardrobe's back. A spot of red shone through the crack.
"I see something," Gwen cried. Merlin rushed to her side. He reached behind the wardrobe, unable to grasp his rose. Gwen knelt beside the wardrobe reaching underneath, but she was unable to grasp the rose. He glanced at Gwen.
"Better stand aside," he said. Gwen eyed him curiously as she backed away from the wardrobe. Merlin's blue eyes turned gold. His wardrobe moved away from the wall.
"Well, that's handy," Gwen said with a smile.
"I know," Merlin answered, his mood brightening a bit. He picked up his rose. It was a small blossom with merely a stub for a stem.
"This rose belonged to my Freya," he explained. "She wanted strawberries, but my magic created a rose." Gwen stared at the little flower in wonder. Merlin's magic created a rose that would never die. Gwen did not press him with questions about Freya. She waited for him, to open up on his own. The two friends sat on the bed ignoring the mess around them. Merlin gazed at the rose as if it were the most precious thing in the world. For him, it was. Gwen listened quietly as Merlin told her the story of his Freya. She could tell by the way, Merlin said the girl's name that he was still very much in love. Gwen placed a comforting hand on his arm as he spoke. Her gaze was sympathetic. Merlin did not shed any tears. He had already spent many sleepless nights shedding tears for her. He looked sad, weary and distant as he recalled the events that took place four years ago. Every word was truthful, save one. Merlin told Gwen a knight mortally wounded Freya in the Bastet form. Gwen lightly dabbed at her eyes with her sleeve.
"I'm so sorry, Merlin," Gwen said sadly. "You had to go through all of this alone."
"Don't be," he replied softly. "There wasn't anything anyone could do to save her." They heard a hand maid's voice echoing in the hallway. The hand maid was calling for Gwen. Gwen slid off the bed and stood in front of him.
"I should be going now", she said. "Will you be alright?" Merlin nodded. Gwen reluctantly turned to leave.
"Gwen," he called out before she left his chambers. "Thank you," he said while holding up Freya`s rose.
"You're welcome," Gwen answered with a light smile. She glanced over her shoulder, briefly surveying Merlin's messy chambers.
"You might want to pick up a bit," she said forcing cheer into her voice. "Perhaps, you'd like Arthur to explain to you the uses of wardrobes and cupboards again." Merlin offered a slight smile. Gwen made a mental note to have someone check on him later. Although he had a servant like Gwen, he did things on his own out of habit. Merlin was very fond of his servant. Radek was a good natured chubby twelve year old boy, who had magic like him. Merlin treated him like a younger brother. He would rather have Radek accompany him, when he treated patients then let him wander about his chambers picking up after him. Besides his eyes would flicker gold then his chambers would be clean almost instantly. Young Radek had become his unofficial apprentice. Merlin would teach the boy a spell or two, whenever he had the time. Radek idolized Merlin. Merlin ran his fingers over the soft rose petals. Pondering how Freya`s rose could have gotten behind his wardrobe. Then he remembered teaching Radek a disappearing spell. The boy still had trouble controlling where the items reappeared. They would have to work on that.