"You'll continue to be a disappointment that will never amount to anything if you keep this shit up," Farbauti hissed, throwing an empty can at Loki on the ice after he'd just barely landed a double loop. He glared at her with pure fire his eyes, but took the verbal beating he'd been taught to endure. She waved her hand to demand his presence come closer. Loki obliged wordlessly. "We'll never make it out of this shit heel of a town unless you actually act like you fucking care about this. You know that, right?"
"Yes, mother," was all he uttered. Thor watched Farbauti grab his arm roughly, nearly pulling him off the ice. Her face was merely centimeters from his. "Do you fucking get it?"
Loki didn't respond, anticipating he would say the wrong thing; the fires in his eyes were quickly replaced by a shapeless, spineless fear as he merely nodded to his mother.
"Now fucking prove it," she spat, pushing him off so hard he nearly fell to the ice, but skillfully caught himself. "If only you were so good at your actual recoveries, boy. Maybe we'd have something, then."
Without looking back, Loki skated to the middle of the arena once more to begin his routine, catching the eye of a man standing starstruck in the stands. His eyes were wide enough for Loki to realize they were a lovely, bright blue and he had his long blonde hair half tied-up to show off his cheekbones. Fucking model types. Loki might compare the man's eyes to fresh ice on Oregonian lakes if he were poetic, but he wasn't anything of the such off the ice or without his body. Clearly the man had seen the interaction between him and his mother, and did not approve.
Loki sneered and looked away from the blonde, picking up speed to launch himself into a double axel and landing it with perfection. Not hearing any approval from his mother but a low whistle from the blonde in the bleachers, he scowled and continued with his routine fitted with several double loops and single lutz, picking up more speed than he needed to for his last jump. What was supposed to be a double lutz now became a triple axel that Loki could not land due to an error in his form. He lay feeling broken against the cold ice of the arena for a second, trying to regain his breath by rolling over onto his back and closing his eyes. Loki growled in frustration, curling into a ball for only a few meager seconds, but enough time for Farbauti to advance upon him.
Having pitied himself enough, Loki rose from a crumpled form on the ice to see his mother standing above him. "You're not good enough to try those, boy. Stop messing around and actually be realistic for once," she laughed bitterly, turning her back to her son and walking off of the ice. Loki wanted to scream. It was either take more risks and try harder or be more realistic. He had no idea how to win with his mother, and there seemed to be no hope or end in sight. The raven began to tear up, but waited until he heard the slamming shut of the arena doors to finally let a sob wrack through his body.
Loki slammed his fist against the ice, crying into it before punching it again and scraping his knuckles. Breathing deeply and trying to hold back any further sobs or tears, Loki rose from the ice and skated to the partition of the ice to the bleachers, determined to run away if for only a little while.
"What the fuck do you want?" Loki hissed at the blonde while he was taking his blades off of his skates, the only person who still was watching him and now was startlingly close. And handsome.
Instead of admiring the man any further, he ripped right past the blonde and slammed their shoulders together. Not getting the message, the man followed Loki until he'd gotten into the locker room to pick up his belongings. About to tell the mysterious man to fuck off again as he turned around, he suddenly found himself in a pair of strong arms, holding him close.
"Fuck, get off me!" Loki hissed, trying to push the blonde away, but he only held tighter.
"I'm sorry…" He murmured into the raven's hair, fingers grasping. "I'm sorry I stayed and watched that. But I couldn't help but want to at least do something to make up for it."
Loki begrudgingly relaxed into the blonde's form, but refused to hug back. It wasn't in his nature. "Yeah, it's fucking fine. It happens every day. Get off." This was so incredibly stupid and cluelessly romantic and Loki hated every second of it; he wasn't about to have it. Or, at least, he wouldn't let Thor have it easily.
"Sure, of course. Sorry. I'm Thor," the blonde smiled shyly, extending his hand.
"I think I've touched you enough so far," Loki commented bluntly, not taking the hand in front of him.
"You don't even pretend, huh?" Thor grinned, actually humored by Loki's sour attitude. He wasn't sure whether to be angry, repulsed, or even relieved someone wasn't immediately put off by him.
"No one ever pretended to be nice to me, so why should I start?" He shrugged, bending down to stir at his combination lock.
"I can try," Thor offered optimistically, but tried to train himself to stay calm. "Want to go get a burger?"
"I'm not really supposed to eat anything like that before a competition."
Shrugging off a burger might as well be a concerning issue filed away in the DSM to Thor, so he couldn't hesitate to press the issue. "What she doesn't know can't hurt her. And then maybe she can't hurt you," Thor smiled. "I'll pay."
"Now we've got a deal," Loki chuckled, extending his hand which Thor took all too gleefully.
It would be the start of many secret burger outings after practice, Loki realized. But this one began innocently enough, despite the turn it inevitably would take when someone showed an ounce of kindness to the tortured being he was. And Loki knew that. He felt it the moment Thor watched him. This man would try to save him, and while he would have none of it, Loki couldn't help but humor it, at least for now.
When they'd ordered their burgers and shakes (at Thor's insistence), Thor drove his car (of course it was a bright red Mustang, he bitterly mused at the notion of frivolous wealth) to an overlook where they could see the Columbia Gorge at sunset. While the sun set behind them, the blonde still loved to marvel at the clouds and gorgeous colors that danced across the fading clouds. It felt like it'd be a nice sight for Loki after a hard day, but it seemed like the only nice sight Loki was focusing on was the man in front of him who seemed so determined to cheer him up and save him from his shitty life.
He knew that he shouldn't be. That his inclination towards men estranged him even more in his already isolated, critical world. Loki had convinced his mother he was never interested in any one of either sex or gender, but he'd be lying if he said Thor wasn't exactly the kind of person he'd want to be railed by. And if he weren't mistaken, the blonde probably fancied him, too. Marveling at his skating, forcing him into a hug, asking him out on a date, taking him to the top of a hill to watch the sunset. It was the stuff of his classmates' dreams, things Loki never thought he'd live out given how unapproachable he decided to become in his age. Maybe when he was younger and more approachable, he'd tried his hand with some of the stranger boys in his school and liked it. But they never came back.
While Thor was rambling something long and strange about the different kinds of knots he learned in boy scouts that Loki could use to tie his skates, Loki decided to lean over and silence him by pressing their lips together, hardly hearing even a helpful word from out of the blonde's mouth. It was short, shy, and chaste. And it made Loki immediately doubt whether he'd made the right decision in being so forward when Thor looked at him in sheer shock.
Did he really misread? All of this seemed so textbook. Loki's horror morphed into rage, and he clenched his jaw and hardened his eyes, roughly pushing the door of Thor's car open to walk off and just deal with his humiliation on his own. Ideally and not ideally, the blonde would just call him a fag and drive off, leaving Loki to walk to the nearest convenience market down the road and begrudgingly call his mother to pick him up.
Instead, he heard the driver side door shut and footsteps softly crunching bone dry pine needles behind him before a warm hand grasped his wrist. "Loki—"
"Loki, what? Look, I don't need your pity," the raven hissed, yanking his wrist away and continuing to walk towards a path into the trees. "Just say it and get the fuck out of here."
"Say what?" Thor asked, jogging in front of Loki to block his path, who had stopped and crossed his arms, glaring at the blonde.
"Call me names, make fun of me, whatever it is you've been wanting to do. This is what I get for opening up to someone, isn't it?" Loki laughed sardonically, running a hand through dark as night hair in anxiety. "You're only pretending anyhow. You even said so."
"I'm not pretending," Thor responded incredulously, far more impish than he'd expected the blonde to sound when called out. "I'm just scared."
"Yes, yes. Everyone's scared of me and scared of being labeled a homo," Loki spat, walking closer to Thor to give his chest a large push. Thor took a step back and recoiled, catching the raven's hands before he could push again.
"I wish I knew what to say," Thor muttered, his eyebrows furrowed and gaze downward cast. He didn't expect Loki to be so forward or for the man to let him take the night so far. He didn't know what he was holding out for anymore, and he felt horrible for making Loki feel used.
"Say no. Say I read this all wrong. Your little date, the way you embraced me. Say no."
"I can't." Thor fumbled several times before beginning again. "I don't think I could ever say no to you."
"What's that even supposed to mean?" The raven laughed, tugging his wrists back to his chest more to test Thor's grip instead of to release himself. He looked down to see strong forearms flex and keep their hold of his arms, which lit a blaze of yearning in Loki if only for a moment at the thought of being restrained.
"It means that you're right. And I just don't know what to do now."
"You act like I'm any other girl and kiss me, you idiot," Loki huffed, responding like it was the most obvious answer in the world. Before he could continue to berate the man for stringing him along and then not, Loki felt himself being pulled tentatively back to the car until he was swung around to lean against it. Warm, slightly chapped lips sealed themselves over his own and pressed deeply while large hands cupped the raven's jaw and settled on the side of his ribcage. Satisfied, Loki sighed into the kiss, allowing himself to be pressed up against the slightly chipped red paint of Thor's Mustang.
He parted his lips into the kiss to allow Thor's tongue to roll in, tasting the remnants of a strawberry milkshake on soft cheeks and pillowy tongue. His mouth was still cold, Loki noted with the slight uptick of his lips, delving his tongue deeper against Thor's. The blonde groaned lowly, pressing his hips tightly against Loki's for the other man to feel his erection, feel how hard the skater was making him and that he was anything but disingenuous about his affections.
Experimentally, Loki rolled his hips against Thor, who pulled away and watched the look on Loki's face as his eyes remained shut and moaned from the slightest bit of friction. The blonde stared in awe at the lovely way Loki's lips parted to let breaths in and out in slow, burning arousal. Thor could feel the hardening cock straining through Loki's sweatpants under thick fabric, and decided to see how far he could take basic foreplay before the skater demanded more. Attaching his mouth to the raven's neck, he immediately heard a heady moan elicited from the man below him. Thor smirked and moved the hand from Loki's jaw to his hair, none too gently pulling it to the side to give him more access to his neck, which the blonde gladly took advantage of and slid dull and hot teeth along Loki's jugular and the tendons of his neck.
All the meanwhile, Loki had switched the positioning of his legs so that he could rut against Thor's muscled, denim-clad thigh. Said thigh began to move against him, if only for the blonde himself rutting against Loki as he licked down the skater's long, pale neck and combed rough fingers through silken hair.
They were a juxtaposition unlike anything Loki had been lucky enough to experience before, and he never wanted it to end. It was intoxicating and uplifting, even physically so as Thor hoisted Loki up against the Mustang for the skater to wrap lithe legs around his hips. The blonde pulled back to look at him, his cerulean eyes mixed with worry and adoration and lips parted as if to speak. The arms around his neck felt horribly inviting and comforting, and after looking back for a few moments while the both of them caught their breath and considered the consequences of their actions, Thor swooped down to crash his lips against Loki's aggressively, having clearly decided it would all be worth it.
Underneath Loki's ass, Thor was unbuttoning his jeans and unzipping them, pulling them down just below his ass with his boxers still on. The skater felt the bluntness of a thick cock pressed against his buttocks and let his sweatpants ride down in their desperate thrusting so that he could feel the blonde's cock jutting between the cheeks in his boxers. Loki bit down on Thor's lip playfully, using the little he had of his angle to rub against the blonde's hardening cock. Not expecting the rough treatment, Thor briefly pulled back to look at Loki with wide eyes, who merely looked back with the sultriest smirk he'd ever seen. The look in his eyes made Thor immediately shove Loki's thighs down so he could shuck the man of his sweats and boxers while divesting himself of his briefs in a few urgent, jerking movements.
"Are we sure about this?" He breathed, pressing his mouth to a spot below Loki's ear and then biting the lobe experimentally. When the skater all but melted into the touch and whimpered, Thor took this as a confirmation, and he nervously wrapped a hand around Loki's cock, stroking it the way he would himself.
An elegant arm unhooked itself from Thor's neck to slip long fingers into his mouth. The blonde watched him hungrily, deciding to take both of their cocks and stroke them together and against one another. Their breaths quickening, Loki trailed the hand slickened with spit behind him, inserting a finger and then two into himself and slowly kneading himself open on them while Thor looked upon him wantonly. The blonde certainly wasn't about to question the man pleasuring himself in front of him, nor the process that was taking place, as he adored the way Loki's face would twist and contort in blissful pleasure.
Lips dropping to form a soft 'o' with moans dripping out slow like honey, Loki began fingering his prostate with a quickening pace, driving Thor's awestruck face to lock their lips together once more. This time, passionately and needily.
Loki soon turned his head in the kiss, forcing Thor to drag his lips down the raven's neck, awaiting further instruction that would inevitably come in the form of expletives: "Would you fuck me already?"
With a small chuckle against the hollow base of Loki's throat, Thor nodded and positioned his dick below Loki's, rubbing teasingly against the perineum and making the skater groan before slowly pushing the blunt head into the stretched hole below. Hitched breaths and halted moans filled the air between them and Thor waited for Loki to adjust after he buried his cock in the skater to the hilt. When the man below him began to move against his cock, the blonde took this as a sign to begin thrusting. With the raven keening wantonly and throwing his head back against the car's hood, Thor thought he was doing well, all things considered. He began to angle his hips in an effort to pleasure Loki more directly, earning a high-pitched whimper. The blonde let out a breathy laugh and effortlessly sexy smile, driving his cock deep into the spot he'd just found inside of the skater that turned him into a quivering, writhing mess.
Loki peaked his eyes open, watching the blonde losing himself to lust and the tightness of his firm ass around a thick, engorged cock. Yet when Loki saw the flash of headlights caress Thor's jawline for but a few moments, his eyes widened and he immediately quieted in fear, causing the blonde to open his eyes and look down at the fearful face before him.
As quickly as the emotion took his face, it left, and the skater smiled at Thor, batting his eyelashes prettily: "Oh, Thor. I know you're keenly aware of how to brutishly piston your hips. But get in your pretty little car and let me take control," Loki chuckled, his words hiccuping between long moans and harsh thrusts against his prostate. "That, and I'd rather us keep this a bit more private…"
Feeling suddenly empty at the loss of pressure, Loki whined, but soon positioned himself back on Thor's lap in the passenger side seat. The blonde held his cock to attention, as if it needed any more assistance to do so, and Loki sidled himself atop the familiar pressure. He'd expected the ice skater to be more graceful than to just slam himself down on his cock, but Thor was equally pleased by the lack of restraint Loki showed in pleasuring himself. It couldn't hold a candle to any woman he'd ever seen, any porno or magazine he'd laid his eyes on. Loki was it, and better. First times weren't for elegance, anyhow.
The obscene sound of slapping flesh filled the silence of the car and Thor immediately reached around to the front of Loki to grasp his cock once more, pulling it in time with the rhythm in which he bounced on Thor's engorged cock. Ever more pleased at how this night was going down, Loki smirked as he moaned, thrusting himself up against the blonde's member and hitting his prostate with every roll of his hips.
"Loki...Loki, I'm about to—" Thor whimpered, his free hand gripping a sculpted him with knuckles white. The admission only made Loki slam himself harder and faster down on the blonde's cock, unabashedly moaning and simpering atop the hottest guy he'd ever landed. With a strained whimper, Loki was overtook by his orgasm, spurting cum against the glass windshield and the center console. Thor was steadily reaching his own completion and used his grip on Loki's hip to control the pace as the man riding him came, thrusting wildly into him until he came with a low groan, thudding his forehead against a clothed shoulder.
Thor looked up from the carnage of their desire, finding the skater's seed far further than he'd expected and leaned his head back against the headrest, laughing with little breath. Still trying to catch his own, Loki looked briefly over his shoulder at the blonde in question, wordlessly asking what might be so funny.
"Sorry, you managed to get the windshield when you arched your back," he chuckled, kissing the sweat-slickened neck and licking the salt from it languidly.
"I should probably get you home, huh?" Thor asked reluctantly, wrapping his arms around the skater's waist and contradicting the question he'd just asked.
"I wouldn't say it was the goal, but the outcome is kind of funny." Loki smiled, leaning his head back against the blonde in satisfaction.
"Will I, uh, see you again?" Pressing his forehead to the neck before him tenderly and steadying his breathing against such an anchor, Thor inquired nervously.
"That's up to you," Loki smirked, pressing a wet kiss to Thor's cheek. He knew he'd see Thor again. The man was too easy, and Loki was all too glad to play into it all.
Unceremoniously pulling up their pants and underwear, Thor underwent the short drive back to Loki's place at the skater's direction. He'd gotten them lost a couple times on purpose, if only to make the blonde halt at a stop sign and make out with him just a few minutes longer. Eventually, closer to half past nine than Thor ever planned, he dropped the skater off at a small home just off the Willamette River.
"Here's my number, if you wanted to see each other again. But I'm always at the arena after school," Loki instructed, pressing a piece of paper with his home phone written on it into Thor's calloused fingers.
"School?"
"Yeah, I'm a junior," Loki specified, arching his brow in suspicion.
"Sorry, I dropped out last year," Thor chuckled nervously, scratching the back of his head. "Just...you're at least sixteen, right?"
"Yes, I'm seventeen." At this, Thor audibly sighed, nodding to himself more than Loki.
"Okay," he smiled sweetly, leaning forward and kissing the skater on the lips tenderly. "You're just perfect, you know?"
This prompted a laugh from Loki that was as bitter as it was humored while he pushed himself out of the Mustang. He leaned through the open window: "I'll see you after practice sometime, then."
"You bet," the blonde grinned, leaning over to plant a kiss on his lips and trying to hide how insatiably giddy he was about this man. The one that wanted to see him again and who was so bitterly sarcastic and scary that he found it irresistibly sexy.
Little did either of them know at the time that Farbauti had been looking through the curtains at the display of affection before her with a sneer. As soon as her son slid his key into the lock, she walked back to the kitchen to resume cleaning the dishes from dinner.
"So. It was men all along," she commented absently, rubbing filth from ceramic with an almost aggressive persistence.
"I don't know what you're talking about." Loki responded with strict, stoppable staccato. Farbauti said no more and didn't even acknowledge her son leave the room and slam the door shut. He was ungrateful.
Sneaking out had become a common occurrence for Loki, much to his mother's chagrin. She fought tooth and nail, yelling at her son that she was the only reason he wasn't yet on the street after their father left the both of them when Loki was only two years old. For the first time in his life, Loki yelled back, telling Farbauti that he was the only reason she hoped to leave trailer trash Portland. It wasn't the best decision he'd ever made, since his mother quickly advanced on him after the comment, landing a harsh blow to the side of his face, sending him stumbling against the kitchen wall.
Loki looked on her in horror and found not even an ounce of resentment in her eyes. Whenever she'd beat him before, it was impermanent and inconsequential. A slap to the face, ripping his chin up to meet her eyes, pushing him into a wall or counter. She had never used anything but an open fist.
A trickle of blood seeped into the raven's lips from his nose, and he stormed into his room quicker than she could follow, throwing everything he thought he needed into a patchwork duffle bag. Costumes, makeup, clothes, hair products. That was all he could think about. Nothing else mattered. Not even the sentimental belongings he once held dear like a token figurine from his father. And especially not anything his mother ever bestowed upon him as if more like a curse than a gift.
Hearing a relentless pounding against his wall, Loki took a ragged breath and burst through the door at his mother's sheer horror. He bolted right past her to the front door of their dilapidated home, out to the red Mustang awaiting him in the drive with the too sweet, too done up, and too wealthy (by Loki's standards) boyfriend he'd proudly flaunted.
With eyes red and irises like gallows, he threw his duffel into the backseat of Thor's car, hardly even saying hello in his rage. The blonde quickly scrambled to close the door once Loki took his seat on the passenger side, looking up at Farbauti standing on their crooked porch, now smoking a cigarette and gazing upon him bitterly before he stepped into the driver side. Her lips drawn in a scowl and posture hunched, but somehow foreboding and intimidating nonetheless as she leaned against the support beams. Thor broke eye contact with her remorsefully, terrified and not knowing what he could possibly say not to earn her or her son's ire. He plopped down into the seat, flicking the transmission into reverse and then speeding away.
Loki hardly looked at him, instead favoring staring out the window and glaring angrily. Thor knew better at this point than to ask Loki what was on his mind, or whether he could do something to make the man feel better. He just drove. Back to his one-bedroom apartment that he could now scarcely afford since he spent so much of his money supporting his boyfriend's skating career. Even Loki struggled without his mother's cash inflow, however meager it was, to keep up with paying his coach and for his costumes. But they made it work and were determined to do it together.
After Thor retrieved Loki's bag from the backseat and set it in their room, he felt arms wrap tightly around his waist that were soon followed by the pressing of a warm body against his back. He smiled softly, bringing his hands to caress the forearms tied around him and using his thumbs to stroke them affectionately.
"Thank you," Loki mumbled against Thor's shoulders, leaning his cheek against it.
"You know I'd do anything for you." It was the truth. One that Loki knew and felt he did not deserve in the slightest. He beat that voice in the back of his mind into submission, hugging Thor tighter. "You want some dinner? I was cooking a roast," Thor mentioned with an upbeat tenor.
"I'd love that," Loki nodded against the blonde's back, sighing with a small laugh. "Let's eat. Then maybe I'll have you later for being so lovely to me," the raven added alluringly, sliding a hand from Thor's waist to rub across his chest, resulting in a low rumble of appreciation.
"It's a plan."
Storming through their creaking two-bedroom home that they shared with one of Thor's friends, Loki slammed the door shut behind him in an attempt to retain some semblance of privacy. When Thor quickly yanked the door open behind him, the raven clenched his fists, looking out the window and trying his hardest not to become his mother.
"Christ, Loki, what's even wrong this time?" Thor asked, his tone a caustic mix of desperate and angry.
"You." Loki growled, not yet turning from the window. Still trying fruitlessly not to become as angry as he felt. To not take it out on Thor. "And how we fucking live now. When I thought things were finally turning up, now we live with him?" Loki finally turned, accusingly jabbing a hand in the direction of Volstagg's room through the wall.
"Loki, you knew it would never be easy. I'm not as rich as you think I am," the blonde near-shouted, walking closer to his fuming partner and trying to hold his hand. When the raven yanked it away, Thor made a point to snatch his wrists and make the other male stare him in the eyes. "He's not the problem. I know he isn't. He's so scared of you that he's never here, Loki."
"Fine, you know what it is? It's like you're not even the same person anymore. Like you don't care about me," Loki hissed. At this point, Thor knew all too well that the skater was projecting onto him. He was scared and trying to shield himself. Too many times had Thor allowed Loki to do this, and then came back later to pry him back open and coax him into his arms once more. This was the worst fight they'd had in months, lasting well over half the day with no resolutions. Most of the time, these things would be made up quickly with rough sex and misplaced passion. This time felt different.
"And it drives me nuts that you're the type of person who will give, give, and give yourself away without even a second thought," Loki continued, his eyes glassy but fiery all the same. "As if you're not an incredibly valuable person." His tone quieted, strained and overwrought. "And I hate that you let me take advantage of that. But most of all, I hate that you let others do the same."
Thor could but only listen, lips parted as if desperately wishing to interject and deny, but knowing that it would only be foolish to test the truth of Loki's words. He stilled his mind, forcing himself instead to listen to understand instead of to talk back.
"Why?" Loki gritted out, his jaw tightly wound as he stared accusingly at Thor. When he didn't answer right away, the raven thought it better to continue anyways. "Why do you do it? You think yourself this great person, but you're just a coward who can't tell anyone no."
Thor winced at this. He wanted to be angry, and he was, but he still refused to display it outwardly, knowing that Loki wasn't saying these things with him in mind. Behind those words were years of abuses at the hands of his mother, friends, and instructors all throughout his life. Even now, more people added onto the heap of reasons Loki had to rescind from everyone and everything except for skating.
"I tell plenty of people no, Loki. I just never wanted to tell you no," Thor corrected, looking to the side. "And I want you to know how much I support your ambition to go to the Olympics."
"I've already been rejected plenty of times by people like you and people with far more money. One more won't put another scar on me," Loki quipped sardonically, eager to give Thor some sort of way out and also to protect himself at the same time.
"But I'm not rejecting you!" Thor said, gradually raising his voice in frustration that quickly melted into desperation. "I just want you to feel safe with me!"
"I don't feel safe anywhere, Thor. Not in my home, not with any single person, and not even on the ice," he hissed. Thor felt his blood run cold when he realized where this was heading. "You won't change that."
"Let me try, Loki." Thor wanted to plead further, but he knew it would earn him no respect.
"I'd rather not watch you fail on my behalf," the raven sighed, crossing his arms and gazing away. "Look, you're too nice anyway. It's too far from home."
The blonde bit his tongue, knowing that any further attempts to change Loki's mind would be met with even more reproach. He couldn't tell Loki that he loved him. He couldn't beg him to stay. He couldn't even hold or kiss the man again. Especially not as he watched the raven walk away, arms still folded across his chest in insecurity. Thor would probably never see him again. Not unless he planned on going to the Olympics with a plan to win Loki back.
~
Every season, Thor would turn on the US Figure Skating Championships to watch Loki compete. And every season, the man looked different. He seemed to struggle between never eating or never stopping. His eyes looked like graves with thin white sheets strewn over them, as if he never slept. And every season, the judges would mark Loki off for some insane reason despite always having perfect jumps, perfect landings, perfect step sequences. Loki always landed narrowly behind Steve Rogers.
During one live transmission, Thor saw Loki's angry tears in the kiss and cry. The animalistic scowl on his face. It was his score. Once again, landing only a tenth of a point behind Rogers. Loki got up with the fire and fury of a neutron star, bolting on his bladeless skates to the ice, then quickly sliding the blades into place to skating up to the judges. Right in front of everyone.
"Every fucking year, it's him," Loki spat, his eyes magma hot but steely nonetheless. Thor recognized that look, the one he'd never been on the other side of, but had seen directed at many instructors. And even Loki's own mother. He could tell that Loki was done swallowing his pride and displeasure. "I always land my jumps, I always make them, and I'm the only person in the league to perfect a triple axel. And yet, you'll never even dare give me a score high enough to qualify for the Olympics. Are you embarrassed by me? What is so repulsive about me that you wouldn't dare let me compete on behalf of the US?"
The judges sat shell shocked, looking at each other with expressions that begged someone else to respond first.
"Mr. Laufeyson..." The middle judge began. Thor recognized him from one of the competitions he'd supported Loki at when they were still dating. "We just do not feel you would represent us," he drawled, taking time to choose his response wisely. "We need someone who represents American values. In a more...wholesome way."
"What? Clawing my way from poverty and making my own costumes isn't wholesome enough for you?" Loki gritted out, ripping off some of the filigree from his outfit and throwing it on the ice. "This isn't American enough for you?" The raven dared skate closer to the judges, right up to their podiums.
"I came from nothing just to stand before you. I could've sold my body to have a prettier costume, but that's not the story you want, is it? This is who I fucking am. Trailer park trash." He hissed, his tone quieting. Eyes that burned like fire yet shone like gems bore into the judges, but picked the familiar male seated in the middle in the end.
"You want to compete, Loki?" Another judge asked, condescension lacing her words maliciously "I'll give you two more points to qualify. But you'll never be half the skater Steve Rogers is. And the judges will know that in Albertville."
"I'd love to thank you, but we all know this is what I've deserved all along," Loki sneered, turning on his heel and skating off the ice. Long out of earshot, a judge mumbled, "A painful downfall and rude awakening is what he's always deserved. Such entitlement in that one."
Thor found himself smiling during the whole interaction. That scene looked more like Loki than anything he'd seen in the past several years. He knew what he would do to win the skater back and make his dreams come true. It wouldn't take much preparation, either. Just talking to the right people and borrowing the right amount of money to get it done. Thor didn't bother thinking twice about the ethics of his plan, only that he would win Loki back with it.
When Loki had heard the news that Steve Rogers' was brutally beaten and had his knees shattered minutes before his last qualifying competition for the olympics, the raven was a twisted mix of gleeful and anticipatory. He might finally have a chance to win gold, now that Rogers was finally out of the way. Unfortunate as it was, and Loki hardly acknowledged it as so, despite how cordial and joyful Steve had always been towards them whenever they competed.
The flight to France, connecting in London and Paris, was a breath of fresh air for Loki, who had always felt trapped by his past as a lower class louse in Northern Oregon. Leaving the country finally made him feel bigger than he ever was when he skated for old, cynical judges in the US. He was treated to the lap of luxury, from petit fours to beef bourguignon paired with ruby-hued and liquid garnet red wines.
Not only was the food far better and fancier than anything he'd imagined, so was the ice arena he was privileged enough to practice at. Loki had never felt so free and honored, like his dream was finally coming true, even before he'd competed. Coming this far was a pleasure in itself, but winning would easily be the icing on the cake. After touring the arena and getting in a few picture perfect practice routines, the skater decided to return to the hotel he was assigned, not too far from the arena itself.
All the while, Thor scrambled from hotel to hotel in Albertville, inquiring where the skaters were being holed up before their exhibitions. Finally, he'd found the correct place and asked where the United States' Loki Laufeyson was staying, claiming to be an assistant coach who had been given the wrong information and needed to find his student. Not thinking twice, the hotel receptionist wrote down the room number Loki was occupying.
Without a moment's hesitation, Thor all but bolted for the elevator, frantically slamming the button to his once-lover's floor and holding the close button. At the end of the hall was where Loki was supposed to be residing, room 612. He stopped before knocking. Thor took a deep breath, attempting to calm himself before facing the man he loved for the first time in years. They hadn't spoken since their breakup in '79, and the blonde couldn't risk looking like a buffoon. He was here to get Loki back. Finally stealing his heart and lungs, Thor graced the door with a couple solid thunks.
No answer. Not even a stir in the room.
Thor began to wonder whether the receptionist truly understood who he was asking for. It's not like he knew French and he was talking far too fast in his excitement. It might be better to wait until Loki competed. It certainly wasn't ideal, but if he was to see Loki at all, late was always better than never.
The blonde resolved himself to returning to the front desk to ask to rent a room with the last of his money he'd brought for the trip (which was scarcely anything at all). He passively pushed the down button for the elevator, leaning against the wall across from it and crossing his arms.
When the door opened, he didn't feel the hurry to immediately jump in like he had before. Thor looked up when the person inside stepped out and stopped right in front of him. Cool blue met bright green and Thor froze in his tracks, his mouth agape.
"Thor?" Loki breathed out, just as stunned and rigid as the man before him.
"I came for you," Thor offered, extending his hand with the intention of brushing a jet black lock behind Loki's ear. He stepped back, avoiding the blonde's touch, which earned a furrow of blonde brows. "What's wrong?"
"I don't know what you think you're going to get from me," Loki hissed, his lip curling in anger. "But you need to leave. Right now."
The skater attempted to walk past Thor, hoping to get into his room quick enough to shut the door and cry in solitude. When their shoulders nearly brushed, the blonde had turned and grabbed Loki's wrist to stop him from progressing any further.
"No. Please," Thor pled. "I want you to take me back. I need to tell you something."
"You left me! What the fuck do you want me to say?" Loki shouted, bringing his nails to pierce the skin in Thor's arm for trying to restrain him. The blonde yanked his arm back and let go of Loki, looking both hurt and absolutely mortified by the accusation.
"I didn't fucking leave you, Loki. You left. I knew you wouldn't ever want me back if I begged. If I didn't use actions instead of words. I knew you'd never listen to me again unless I did something to prove how much I loved you."
"Loved?"
"Christ, Loki. Yes. You're not paying attention," Thor became desperate, his brows furrowing together worriedly as his tone hushed. "I'm the reason you're here." As soon as the blonde said it, he knew he'd fucked everything up. And he'd made it look like he only loved Loki, not that he still loves him.
"Oh, are you?" Loki laughed caustically, crossing his arms. This wasn't how it was supposed to happen. The smile on his face screamed predatorial with the way his lip curled. Thor would find it terrifying if it wasn't so hot. If it wasn't the look that always led to their best sex.
"That's not what I mean," Thor growled. "Just listen." His eyes softened and he swallowed. "Please."
"Then say something worth listening to."
"I smashed Steve's kneecaps," Thor admitted, staring so seriously into Loki's eyes that the skater almost wanted to laugh. The statement that he'd heard almost made him laugh, anyhow. "I wanted to prove to you that I care about your dream just as much as you do."
"This isn't my fucking dream, Thor." But Thor knew it was. And he knew Loki knew that. The two of them just stared at each other. "I just wanted to live it up and get away from rural fucking Oregon, Thor."
"No. This is your dream. That's why you practiced so much and made your own costumes. And you even taught me how to make them, too, so that you could practice even more. You loved it." Thor reasoned, his breathing picking up. He was becoming desperate, and Thor knew Loki would soon sense it and hear it in his words. "I wanted you to win, Loki. You're better than all of them. You know that."
"Do I? Because look how long it took them to take me seriously. I don't think anyone wants me here," Loki laughed, crossing his arms and looking away in defiance.
"They don't. But that's what always makes you better than them. Proving them wrong." Thor smiled, but tried not to let it take over his face. He was still treading water with the raven. "You're not America's Little Sweetheart, Loki. You're America's Little Trainwreck, and they hate it. They hate that someone so perilously fucked up could rise to the top like this without having some lovely little backstory."
Loki looked back at him now, knowing that despite how disgusting all this commentary on his character was: It was completely true. He loved being the trainwreck that took the ice by storm and slapped the judges in the face with his precision, jumps, lands, and step sequence. Loki wasn't anything near perfect, and he never tried to act like it. That's what made him so enthralling for the audiences. Knowing the torrent inside this kid and all the fucked up stories that brought him to the ice and made him the amazing skater he was today: The daily beatings by his mother, the overly-critical skating and ballet instructors, the shitty relationship with Thor that he could never, ever get the hang of. The audience knew all of this and it only made Loki more interesting to them.
"You thrive off the anger and resentment of the people who watch you succeed, Loki. You always have. From your mother to the judges you yelled at during the last championship." Thor stepped up to Loki as far as he thought was allowed, then raised his hands to cradle the raven's face. "And it makes you better," the blonde concluded emphatically.
"Was I ever good enough for you?" Loki asked, his eyes hardening into diamonds once more, bearing into Thor's face. The blonde looked back and his face dropped, a frown replacing the tentative smile he'd been wearing.
"You were never good," he clarified. "But you were mine. And I loved you so much." Thor continued, desperation seeping into his tone. "I still love you more than I do myself."
"That's a huge mistake," Loki reprimanded him, clenching his jaw.
"It's one I'm willing to make over and over, in every lifetime and every universe." Loki noted the absolute sincerity in Thor's tone, the longing in his eyes, and the slackening, defeated grip the blonde held on his face. Thor thought he was losing Loki again, but Loki felt the exact opposite. Having Thor admit this felt like Thor was losing himself. He'd always hated this about how Thor loved him. How it took over Thor's entire being and life and the blonde poured his heart into their relationship and Loki would and could never do the same back. It destroyed him.
"I'm so fucked up, Thor. You know I'll never give you what you want," he whispered while shaking his head, lifting a hand to caress one of the wrists that cupped his face lovingly. Loki's eyes had begun to water, and at this, Thor finally realized Loki was letting him in for the first time since they'd began dating years ago. This vulnerable Loki who wanted to be good, but felt in his heart that he never could. He loved him so much. And Thor loved the anger and fire Loki held when he desired to succeed. He loved everything about him, but especially when Loki cried in front of him.
"You always did." Thor smiled, pressing his forehead to the raven's and looking deep in his eyes. "You always have," he repeated for posterity in an even more hushed tone, leaning closer before slowly kissing Loki, who tentatively pressed his lips back while a tear rolled over his cheek.
The kiss soon turned desperate and hungry with years of pent up lust, anger, and yearning tied together in a tight ball already unraveling with wandering fingers in black and blonde hair. With fingernails raking over scalps and underneath skin. When they pulled away, Thor was the first to speak once more.
"I'd do anything in the world for you," Thor breathed, kissing across Loki's cheek and jaw from his lips to land on a pale, moon white neck.
"Then you're a goddamned idiot."
"You're no stranger to that, and you chose this anyway," the blonde growled as he pushed Loki roughly up against the wall of the hallway, biting his lip sharply in retaliation for his unkind words and earning a gasp. They'd always played like this. Loki teasing verbally and Thor responding physically. Only ever in bed, with some choice exceptions wherein Loki was no stranger to corporal punishment.
"You practically killed for me," Loki stated, soothing the bite in his lip with his tongue, which did not go unnoticed by the blonde. His eyes were accusing but lust-filled nonetheless when they bore into Thor.
"I'd do it again." Thor replied confidently. "And I'd do it again and finish the job if it meant being with you."
At this, Loki smirked and shook his head in disbelief, using his hands to grab Thor by his shirt and pull him roughly so that their lips met once more. He continued to pull the blonde against him until they stumbled down the hallway with their lips locked and hips rocking. When Thor pulled away to breathe, Loki fished in his pocket for the room key, inserting it and unlocking his room.
With the skater's back turned, Thor roughly gripped Loki's hips and pushed him into the door, pressing his nose into the side of his neck and groaning lowly, dearly missing how the skater felt in his hands. Once Loki pushed open the door, Thor led him by the hips to the queen bed in the middle of the room, flipping the skater around before pushing him on the bed and crawling up his body.
"I've missed you so much," the blonde murmured, kissing down Loki's throat and stopping to bite some areas. The raven groaned, but his carnal reactions betrayed the rationality in his voice: "Watch the neck. I can't go on the ice with hickeys, you know that," Loki growled, pulling Thor's hair in warning to yank his head away from the neck he so dearly wanted to mark up.
"I'll just have to put them somewhere else, then," the blonde chuckled, pulling Loki's sweater over his head and bending down to suck a pale nipple into his mouth, not shy to use teeth to draw a whimper from the skater. Eager to exact some revenge, Loki shifted his thigh between Thor's, slowly rubbing it against the blonde's hardening arousal while he slid hands up Thor's back, raking his nails against the flesh.
Groaning in both agony in pleasure, Thor rutted slowly at first against the leg between his own and arched his back with curled shoulders when Loki scratched him. He bent his head lower, leaving open-mouthed kisses across the skater's chest. My, how Loki had grown into himself even more with his lithe body and tight muscles. The blonde couldn't resist attaching his mouth to the skater's ribcage and sucking, pulling the blood to the surface of moon-like pale skin to elicit a long and lovely moan that dripped like gold.
Desperate to hear more of these noises, Thor moved his mouth further down Loki's body, unbuttoning and unzipping the other male's pants and pulling them off to immediately mouth the clothed manhood before him with a rumbling moan. The blonde wanted nothing more than to taste the raven in this moment, but wanted to make him wait for it and beg for it. He pushed a hot tongue alongside the hardening member, sliding his hands down to cup and squeeze Loki's ass appreciatively. Loki whimpered, biting his still-smarting lip and bucking into the heat of Thor's mouth and curling fingers into loose blonde hair as if to ask for more.
The blonde merely looked up at Loki with a smirk, kneading his ass and using his nose to urge Loki to spread his legs wider while he pressed deeper, wetting the raven's boxers with his tongue to caress his balls clumsily with his mouth. "Thor," Loki spoke, his voice sounding positively lusty and broken, causing him to look up and meet the wanton gaze. "Please."
Thor nodded obediently, pulling the soiled boxes off of Loki to unsheath a painfully hard cock leaking with pre-cum. Yet Thor was not about to let Loki win so easily to spend in his mouth after everything he'd gone through; the blonde yanked him up by the hips, spreading his legs and pressing his tongue against the tight entrance and laving across his anus and perineum languidly and nigh affectionately. The action wrenched a sob-like moan from Loki, who was all too happy to spread his legs further and allow his lover better access.
Teasingly, Thor slipped his tongue inside of Loki's entrance, curling it around the tight ring of muscles and stuttering the skater's breaths and halting all thoughts in his mind. After delivering enough moisture to penetrate him, the blonde slid a finger alongside his tongue, thrusting it as deep inside of the man it would go with his tongue still grasping for purchase next to it. When the grip on Thor's hair grew tighter and more desperate, the blonde decided to pull his tongue out of Loki's anus, earning a whimper from the decreased contact that was quickly sated by Thor pressing another finger inside of the skater and thrusting it in and out deeply, angling experimentally until he found the man's prostate and repeatedly slammed the pads of his fingers against it and alternated with just barely brushing it with the tips.
Loki's breathing was enough to indicate that he was coming close to achieving his orgasm, so Thor continued to suck and lick his cock until he could feel the man's balls tighten in near-release. Before he could cum, Thor pulled his mouth off and slid his free hand to lock a tight circle around the base of Loki's cock with his thumb and forefinger, restricting the blood flow. Loki choked on air at the sensation of being denied his orgasm, sitting up on his elbows and doing his best in his bleary, lust-filled gaze to glare at the blonde and demand that he stop.
In this scenario, the raven was in no position to demand or even make compromises, and Thor just shook his head roguishly, "If you want to cum, you'll have to be patient."
When Loki let out a frustrated growl and let himself fall back against the bed, Thor chuckled and added to his statement an additional demand. "And you'll have to be good, too." Loki could almost roll his eyes if they weren't already looking at the back of his head in ecstasy, since as Thor spoke, he began pounding his fingers, now adding a third, into his prostate. The restriction to his cock ceased and the hand instead began to jerk him off.
"Get up, and turn over onto your knees," Thor ordered, hardly allowing Loki any reprieve from his thrusting fingers as he waited for the man to pull himself up by his core, twist himself on Thor's fingers with a strained moan, and kneel on his hands and knees. The skater couldn't help but rut himself back against the intruding fingers now that he had even an ounce of control over his pleasure, which resulted in Thor removing his hand from the leaking cock before him and landing a splitting slap to the skater's ass. The action earned a yelp from Loki, who nearly buckled under the force and surprise of being spanked.
"I said you had to be good," Thor tutted, clicking his tongue disapprovingly as he removed the fingers from Loki's backside, earning a disapproving noise from the latter. He stroked a thumb over the reddening mark on pale skin and smirked. The man below him quivered, both in anticipation and desire. Thor had never treated him like this before: Denying him, punishing him, but being painfully gentle all the same. It was enthralling, exciting, and positively delicious. He wanted nothing more than to test the man's new limits, but at the same time, did not wish to delay being rammed by the blonde as quickly as possible. Another smack landed on Loki's other cheek and his back arched. Thor half-expected to hear another yelp, but was pleasantly surprised when the slap had instead elicited a wanton moan.
"I had no idea you were into this," the blonde chuckled, once more slapping the man's backside, but aiming it against muscled thighs to wring out yet another lovely moan.
"You never tried," Loki huffed, throwing a look at him from around his shoulder.
Thor ignored the comment and landed an especially hard smack to the cheek he'd originally smarted, and watched Loki's elbows buckle under him as he sobbed, cum dribbling out of his cock in what felt like a forced orgasm for his body. He was positively shaking, rattled in his breath just as much as his body as the man quivered.
"You think you're ready now for my cock?" Thor asked, hardly expecting an answer and he slicked his cock up with spit and then grabbed Loki's hips, pressing himself inside with an animalistic groan. The skater's fingers dug into the mattress' stark white sheets and he braced for the long, thick length to fill him till he burst at the seams. He could've sworn Thor was bigger than last time, but maybe it'd just been far too long without being dicked by someone as perfect as the blonde was. Moving only an inch, Thor brushed his prostate and Loki had to slam his eyes shut to keep from seeing pure white.
"Fuck!" Loki gasped, still trying to steady his breath to no avail before Thor began thrusting into his wildly oversensitive body with strong hands gripping his hips roughly. He clenched his jaw, trying to calm his body even in its wrecked, post-orgasm state so that he could handle being fucked perilously by the blonde. Focusing on the deliciously masculine noises of pleasure coming from his partner, Loki panted and attempted to stabilize himself before Thor picked up his pacing and delivered each thrust right into his prostate. The skater saw stars and felt like his knees would buckle under the pleasure. He must not have been entirely present, because the next thing he noticed was Thor pulling his hips back up and barring his waist against him with his forearm, forcing his entire body flush against the blonde's while on his knees.
"Is this what you want for being good?" Thor asked brutishly, running short nails down Loki's blushing figure while he thrusted roughly. "Do you truly want to be good?" He asked condescendingly of his lover, biting the back of his neck under the raven's hairline to elicit an elongated moan. At this, Thor only halted his speed to drive into Loki rougher, harder, more mercilessly. When he tried to stroke his own cock, Thor grabbed his wrists and held them together in front of him, not allowing the skater to pleasure himself that easily.
"F-fuck," Loki hissed, his body jerking forward with the force of Thor's hips. "For you, yes, yes, yes," he whined shamelessly, leaning his head back against the strong, thick figure behind him that seemed to be able to support him no matter what. Loki plastered his restrained wrists against his abdomen, weakly thrusting his oversensitive cock against his hands to derive some sort of friction.
"Think I'll let you cum this time without any strings attached?" Thor whispered right into his lover's ear, biting the lobe delicately and pulling before releasing it and along with it, his inhibitions. The blonde began to pound into Loki once more with the force of a bull and unmatched speed, wrenching sob after moaning sob until Loki came for the second time, almost completely untouched. Thor's orgasm soon followed with a thundering, open-mouthed groan directed hotly against Loki's shoulder.
The blonde held Loki up against him on his quaking knees for a couple of moments to kiss his neck tenderly, then pulled out of him, allowing the blonde's seed to dribble down his inner thighs lewdly. Thor fell onto his side right after gently setting the raven down, who still shivered in his second orgasm.
"I've never came that hard in my life," Loki commented incredulously, looking up at the ceiling and breathing. "What the fuck happened to you?" He laughed, rubbing the back of his hand over his forehead to wipe the sweat from his brow.
"I wanted this time to be different," Thor responded casually, moving so that he could press his bare chest against Loki's shoulder and lightly stroke his free hand over the skater's taut abdomen. "I've changed."
"You committed a crime just so I had a chance at winning something other than bronze," Loki repeated the thought from earlier, shaking his head. He didn't turn away from Thor's touch, nor did he attempt to replicate it in any way. He just lay there, thinking about what Thor had told him.
"Like I said," he shrugged, hardly thinking anything of being the rough and tumble boyfriend who would break kneecaps to see his lover succeed in his dream. After a few moments of silence, Loki finally looked over and Thor curiously met his eyes.
"I always loved you, Thor," he admitted, eyes filled with sincerity. "I pushed you away because I thought I was too trashy, too shitty to be anything good to you. But here you are again."
"I waited years to get this opportunity, or to do anything remotely like it." Thor mused, bringing the hand from Loki's abdomen to stroke his cheekbone tenderly. "And I always knew it would be worth it to have you back in my arms."
"You're a sap."
"But your sap, right?" Thor asked optimistically, pressing his lips to the raven's temple, still tasting the salt on his skin.
"Right," Loki smiled, shuffling closer against Thor and slinging an arm across his chest while he kissed the blonde's shoulder. "My big sap."