This was why Fawkes didn't date.
Sex was easy, uncomplicated and – most of the time – fun. Dating was hard, confusing and fuckload of work for inevitable rejection.
Despite all the t-shirts that proclaimed 'The Geek Will Inherit the Earth' – and who knew, maybe it was true? - being a geek wasn't exactly helpful when it came to dating. Girls didn't want geeks, especially not geeks who gamed.
Turns out even a girl geek who gamed wasn't interested.
When Codex called about his jacket, he'd refused to get his hopes up. It was just about the jacket. It was taking up room she wanted for something. So he'd gotten Venom to go, resisting the urge to grill her on what Codex was wearing, what she'd said, how she'd reacted when he hadn't shown up.
The second call, wanting a second date had thrown him completely. Hadn't the fact that he hadn't shown up to get his own jacket gotten the message across? He blew her off, then hung up, not wanting to face the fallout.
He'd met her at Cheesybeards out of pure curiosity. He'd turned her down twice, what could she possibly have to say now? He'd barely been able to mask his grin with a smirk when she confessed to telling her Guild about them. When Bladezz had come out and told him about the turmoil in their Guild, he felt like Christmas had come early. Stirring up trouble and getting the chance to spend more time with the one girl who'd actually managed to put a crack in his self imposed defences? Far too good an opportunity to pass up.
Apart from the fact that they hadn't actually spent any time together. He'd heard nothing from her since leaving her with the check at Cheesybeards. So when Zaboo had sent the text with the details of the birthday dinner, Fawkes just couldn't resist showing up.
Of course, he acknowledged to himself, he'd acted like a complete and utter dick, but he wasn't good at this dating stuff and he really hadn't known how else to act. So he gave the only performance he really knew how to give in a social situation. Pawing Codex like a sex-starved teenager hadn't helped matters, but once he'd smelt the perfume she'd been wearing, he'd had some serious problems keeping his hands off her.
Then it had all gone to hell. He'd mouthed off one too many times and she'd dragged him into a corridor and told him off. He gave her the line about role-playing himself and was horrified at outing himself as such a complete nerd, but all she did was call him on his bullshit. And then...
"Admit it. You like me."
He should have admitted it then. Part of him wanted to. But he froze, panicked and changed the topic to something much safer, something he knew and understood. Something he was good at. She'd looked at him with disgust and said something about calling it all off.
He didn't want that to happen. He'd kissed her, just a little one, but it was easily the most intense moment he'd shared with a woman. Then he'd left. "Always leave the stage five minutes before they want you to go." He couldn't remember where he'd read it, but it seemed the perfect situation for it. He figured he'd hear from again before too long because he hadn't been sarcastic when he'd referred to their night of passionate monkey sex. It had been passionate and it had been fucking fantastic and his years of experience in one night stands had at least taught him enough to know when the girl he was with was enjoying herself.
She hadn't called. Hadn't logged into The Game either and it pissed him off. So he'd gone to a party with Venom and Riley, had too many tequila shots, gotten the phone number of a furry and told Venom the whole sorry story.
Fawkes woke up the next morning with a slight hang over and the vague feeling that confiding in Venom had been a huge mistake. When Zaboo called – and how the hell that kid had gotten his phone number he'd never know – like completely love-struck idiot he'd gone running.
Codex hadn't been happy to see him there.
That thought hadn't really occurred to him, until she'd called him a tool-bag and a troll. He'd hidden his hurt behind the usual veneer, but it hadn't been as easy this time as it had in the past. Then he'd seen the painting and had a moment of hope which was quickly dashed when she'd shoved him out of the room.
Fawkes was furious with himself for letting his guard down. He hadn't had to face rejection in a long time. You don't have to deal with it when you remove it as an option. The only real defence is active defence. Mao Zedong. It was why he'd found it so easy to slip into jerk mode. He knew where he stood with women and if they didn't figure out where they stood with him, it was their problem not his.
He'd slipped up with Codex and hadn't put the shield up properly on their date, letting her get under his defences and vowed never to let it happen again. It never occurred to him that was the guy she'd been interested in all along.