Girl all the Bad Guys Want – Bowling for Soup
If you were to look in through the window of the 39th train compartment on the Hogwarts Express on September first in 1976 you would have seen three rather pretty girls on their way to their last year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The only thing wrong with the picture was the hair color of the normally red haired Lily Evans.
"Well it could be worse Lily." Marlene, a short skinny brunette told her, "It isn't Slytherin colors this time."
"And besides," Emmaline, Lily's other good friend a tall curve blonde, said, "It's tradition at this point. Didn't he change your hair color on the train ride in our first year?"
"Oh that's right," Marlene giggled, "Wasn't it lime green and orange?"
Lily flicked her wand at her hair changing it back to its usual red. "Don't remind me," she sighed, peaking out into the corridor to make sure the boy in question was in fact gone. The boy in question was, by the way, James Potter. A regular teenage boy who had yet to fully mature and was therefore still attempting to get the attention of his crush by pulling her pigtails and cursing her purple as any young wizard might do.
James Potter was also a Marauder and therefore didn't just turn his crush purple; he turned everyone purple. This infuriated Lily. James Potter would happily tell anyone that you could tell when Lily Evans was frustrated because her green eyes would flash and her voice would become lower, a sexy bedroom voice, as he called it. This of course would only infuriate Lily even more.
Suffice it to say, Lily and James didn't really get along, even though James had been asking Lily out on and off for the past few years. There wasn't really any explanation for this. No one, beyond James, and his friends possibly, understood why. The two didn't like one another. The only reason Lily was good at hexes, other students joked, was because she had perfected them by practicing on James in her first year. People also joked that the only reason James was so good at sports was because he was always running away from a very angry Lily Evans after pulling one of his infamous pranks.
"Isn't that why you guys don't get along?" Emmaline asked.
"No, we don't get along because after he turned my hair lime green and orange, I later pushed him in the lake. That didn't go over well with him or his friends… who were in the boat when I tipped it over." Lily grinned while reminiscing. "Good times, good times. Well except for my hair. I didn't know the counter-curse back then."
"Poor Lily, so sensitive over your hair. Anyways, I think it's silly that you guys still don't get along," Marlene said, shuffling a deck of exploding snap cards. "Anyone for exploding snap?"
"Didn't the boys rename it Exploding Snape?" Emmaline joked. "They even pasted on pictures of Snape if I remember correctly."
"They would." Lily grunted as she carefully placed a card on the pile. "Those bloody Marauders are so full of it. Do you know, he's still asking me out. Literally, the second I saw him, before saying hi, before even changing my hair color, he asked me out. Honestly… I don't get it. I wish he would stop. He doesn't like me and I don't like him."
"I don't know Lily; no one really knows what goes on in that boy's mind. Maybe he really does like you." Marlene said causing Lily to go off in peals of laughter and explode the pile of cards directly in her own face.
"That's ridiculous and almost as likely as Dumbledore getting it on with the Minister of Magic." Lily rolled her eyes.
"Hey now Lily, if Dumbledore and the Minister want to get it on, then it's their own business." Emmaline giggled.
"Oh honestly Em, you're worse then Lily." Marlene shook her head, "I think you and James ought to try and get along this year. I mean being as he's head boy and you're head girl and all, it might make everyone's life easier." She said to Lily.
"Sure it would, but we don't get along. He's an immature prat and he doesn't stop making fun of me."
"Sure he does, he stops every time he asks you out." Emmaline said trying to lighten the mood.
"Oh come on Lily, he's beginning to grow up. I think you two should move on and forget the past." Marlene sighed at the pointlessness of her suggestions, which were lost on Lily.
Emmaline, bored with the conversation said, "And besides, you would have really hot children."
"That is so gross Em, really bad mental picture. James Potter and I don't get along. We never will." Lily declared.
"When are you going to get it Lily?" Marlene asked. You see, Lily could be a bit dense when it came to members of the opposite sex. It took her to the end of May in her fourth year to figure out that her potions partner had an enormous crush on her, even though he couldn't talk when he was around her and tended to stare at her and drool in class.
"No, you don't get it Marlene, James Potter and I are like apples and oranges. Apples and oranges don't mix." Lily was clearly frustrated, "And I know it's a terrible analogy for me and Potter, but it's true. You can't compare apples and oranges. Potter and I aren't the same. We don't get along. End of story."
"Sure you are. The same I mean." Lily's friend Marlene pushed on, "And yea, he's a "toe-rag" as you call him, but you have to admit you're still rather similar."
Lily's eyes were flashing angrily, "No we aren't'! He's, he's an arrogant bullying toe-rag who thinks he is god's gift to womankind or something."
"I've heard that speech a dozen times Lily. But just listen," Marlene wasn't ready to admit defeat, "you're both smart, and you both like Quidditch, and you're both ridiculously good at dueling, and you both want to be Aurors, and."
At this point, Lily interrupted her, "You're off your rocker Marlene. So what if we're both smart? I study, he doesn't. I'm good at Charms and Potions; he's good at Transfiguration and Defense against the bloody Dark Arts. He lives and breathes Quidditch, I just like watching it. Besides Quidditch generally consists of yummy guys in well-fitted clothes. Somehow," Lily continued dryly arching on brow, "I doubt Potter likes it because of the yummy guys. And, and so what? Just because we have similar goals and abilities doesn't mean a bloody thing. I don't like him! So stop suggesting that I take his propositioning seriously and say yes. And if you see so many great qualities in him, why don't you date him."
Marlene snorted into her bottle of butterbeer at the mere suggestion, "Because he's in love with you Lily, not me. And besides I don't like him, I just feel sorry for the poor guy."
"Feel sorry for the poor guy!" Lily practically shrieked, "Oh yes, because he's the one who's made my life a living hell since he hit puberty, and you feel sorry for him. Thanks a lot Marlene." Lily pointedly ignored Marlene's suggestion that James Potter was in love with her.
"Alright Lily. I'll stop," Marlene said apologetically, "Apples and oranges, oil and water, I get it. I promise not to bring this up again."
"Thanks, Marlene. I'm sorry I nearly bit your head off it's just that with spending the entire summer with Petunia and the great big headed prat Potter being appointed head boy I'm already stressed out and we're still only on the train." Lily put her head into her hands, frowning.
"I just can't understand what Dumbledore was thinking when he appointed Potter as head boy." Emmaline said while picking up the mess of cards on the floor. Emmaline had been quite during their fight mainly because while she disagreed with Lily and James fighting, but she didn't like getting on the bad side of Lily or Marlene as she often did when they were fighting about the 'Potter situation' and they had all taken to calling it".
"Maybe he was high," Lily suggested wiggling her eyebrows.
"Really Lily! This is the professor we're talking about. You being head girl and all, you shouldn't go around suggesting that our professors get high on the weekends," Marlene said mockingly, "Although they might."
"Oh don't remind me. I don't like being head girl much more than Potter wants to be head boy. All the responsibility means less fun and less freedom and higher expectations from the teachers," Lily complained.
And that was how the train ride to school at the beginning of Lily Evan's seventh year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry started.
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