Lover's Comfort

READ THIS FIRST PLEASE: This is simply a joke. Not a work of brilliant fiction I might add. My best friend and I just started typing up stuff at 3 am and this pretty much happened. This is the information we joke about in our sick minds. Note: I do not know much about the Renaissance times nor Italian history/ beliefs. I'm just a 16 year old who hasn't studied this and I hope I don't offend nor disturb anyone. You have your warning…no flames please. I just felt like this HAD to be shown to the world.

The assassin sits in Leonardo's empty workshop, waiting for his companion to talk to. Ezio sighed and ran his hand through his hair. He was beginning to think that maybe letting Rodrigo Borgia free was probably not a good idea. Leonardo was a kind and noble man, so he hoped that the artist could comfort him well enough. Although, he HAD been acting strange the more he visits the workshop.

Ezio looked around and sighed thinking that his friend wasn't home. Before he stood up, a pair of long fingers lightly crawled up his back and to his shoulders, abruptly sitting him back down. Surprised, Ezio turned to see Leonardo close to his face…too close for comfort.

"Ezio! It's good to see you!" he smiled enthusiastically hugging the assassin from behind.

Ezio's dark brown eyes just looked back at Leonardo and nervously laughed. "Ah…Si. How are you amico?"

"Molto bene. I've just been working on some paintings." He sighed walking away from Ezio and showing how much of a mess the place was. "It'll all be done…eventually."

Ezio nodded softly and looked down at his feet. "Well...I hope you get them done really soon."

Leonardo's cyan eyes gazed back at Ezio as his face molded in concern. "Is there something bothering you friend?"

"Well…you see…I've-"

"…been thinking about turning gay for me?" Leonardo finished while getting closer to Ezio. "Have you been fantasizing about me naked every single day? Oh I've been fantasizing about you." The artist runs up to him and grabs his collar. "Avete intenzione di scoparmi GIA!? (Are you going to fuck me ALREADY!?)"

Ezio looked up at Leonardo and blinked slowly. Very confused and lost. The painter lets go of the assassin and backs away a little, letting him finish.

"As…I…was saying." Ezio inched away from Leonardo and cleared his throat. "The other assassins thought it would've been best to kill Rodrigo Borgia. I spared his life. I just wanted to know if it was the right choice." Ezio sighed and closed his eyes thinking of a flashback about letting that bastard free. He opened his brown eyes and shook his head. "If you had the choice Leonardo, what would you have do-"

He stopped his tracks when he noticed Leonardo eyeing the younger male up and down and biting his lip slightly.

"Yeah that's nice…" he mumbled to himself. Ezio snapped in front of Leonardo's face a bit upset and impatient, breaking the painter out of his daydreaming state. "Eh? Che cosa?" he seemed to come back to reality as Ezio groaned.

"Did you even hear a word I said?!"

"Of course Ezio." He then smiled as a sinister glint formed in his eye. "I think you need to relax. How about a nice warm bath?"

Before the assassin could even answer to his response, Leonardo nearly grabbed him and (what seemed it like) teleporting upstairs to his master bedroom where the bath was.

"I knew you would agree. Now…" the painter clapped his hands together and reached into his drawer pulling out soap and a spongy scrub. "Remove all of your clothes as I watch you take a bath intensely fighting the urge to masturbate while doing so." He said the last part really quickly and smiled nervously. Ezio shook his head and turned to leave the bedroom. Leonardo nearly jumped in front of him, blocking him from leaving. "Wait! The soap is perfect for sensitive skin."

"No. You're acting far too strange." He gently pushed his best friend out of the way and walked downstairs of the work shop. "I'll talk to you later when you…calm down."

Leonardo sadly looked at the ground when Ezio turned and walked downstairs. "Oh Ezio! How I love it when your long and brown hair flows in the wind as you double kill guard. How your armor fits your muscles and toned body. Unf." The painter leans on the wall and sweat lightly begins to form on his brow. "Ohohoho I dream of you just taking me. Right here, right now. It would be wonderful how our bodies forming together and feeling each other's warm skin for the first time. Our lips pressing upon one another as one of us dominates with a welcoming tongue invading one's mouth with a wonderful and natural taste." He takes a deep breath and his nose starts bleed a little. "Then you would fuck me so hard I'll scream your name. Scream it out loud making sure all of Italy hears it. S-si and then you would reach around and stroke my-"

"LEONARDO!"

The artist jumped a little and realized that he was sweating lightly and blood was running down his nose. His blue eyes looked over at Ezio's slightly frightened brown ones.

"Eh? I thought you left…" he scratched the back of his head in embarrassment.

"Uh…no I'm still here. I came back to apologize…" His eyes glanced down at his friend's erection. "..but I should've came a little earlier or later."

"Mi dispiace. (I'm sorry.) I'm a perverted filthy man-whore." He blushed in embarrassment while covering his face. With his back still to the wall, Leonardo slid to the ground with his knees to his chin.

Ezio stared at him for a long time and sighed lightly. "No you're not Leonardo. A man has his needs and you have…a lot. It's normal to have such fantasies. I will not judge you because you are my friend." He smiled when the painter uncovered his face to look up at him sincerely.

"R-really? You won't?"

"What kind of friend would I be?" the assassin stated while helping his best friend up.

Leonardo stared at Ezio for a minute and pulled him in for a deep hug. "Grazie…you're a true friend."

Ezio patted his back and cleared his throat. "Your erection is poking my thi-"

"Sh. I know."

There's a part two to this but I'm probably going to get negative reviews about this one. Thanks so much for reading!