This crackfic one-shot has been swimming around in my head for a very long time. Hope you enjoy it!

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. You should know that already.

It had been a slow day for her, and although some of her friends were frantically running around trying to prepare of the impending battle with Pain, all Ino could do was stare out the window of the Yamanaka flower shop. She was not bitter about it, she had spent most of her time training with her father, but today he was busy, so here she was bored, staring out the window of her shop when suddenly two figures caught her attention. One she recognized as her teammate Shikamaru, the other one she did not recognize. It was a girl, around their age, perhaps a little older, judging by her clothes not a shinobi, messy blond hair and thick glasses, a nerd if she had to guess. Probably someone from the Cryptanalysis team. Their being together intrigued her, mainly because she knew how much Shikamaru openly complained about women, finding them too bossy and troublesome. Rubbish really, if he was not so goddamn lazy, perhaps the women in his life would not have to be so bossy. The longer she stared at them the more it became clear that this girl obviously had a crush on Shikamaru. Ino found this amusing, Shikamaru did not get many fangirls, partially because he was so damn lazy, but mostly because of the cloud of sand that surrounded him.

This new girl was an interesting development, it was not that Ino did not like the sandstorm of a woman who was his usual companion, but she was tired of waiting for the two of them to admit that they have feelings for each other that she had given up on them. As Ino continued to observe the two of them she suddenly came to the realization that this girl, might actually be the girl of his dreams.

The girl had all the makings of a perfect woman for her bum of a friend. First, she was not ugly, but also not too pretty, regular really. Secondly, considering she must be on the Cryptanalysis team, she must be smart, which meant that she should be able to keep up with him in a game of shoji or Go. Thirdly, judging by her demeanor, she seemed like the quiet, reserved type, who idolized her lazy friend enough to not give him a hard time about anything, rendering her not troublesome. The only problem now was getting Shikamaru to actually notice her. A feat really, considering his head has been stuck in the sand for quite sometime now. She chuckled softly to herself, stuck in the sand, and then it dawned on her, what she could do to help this girl get noticed. It was a simple plan really, a simply devious plan.

A sly grin crept across Ino's face as she watched as the girl stared longingly after her friend when their conversation ended and he walked away. It broke her heart a little bit, watching the one-sided love unfold before her eyes, but she was determined to give the girl a fighting chance. So she rushed out of her store and launched herself in front of the girl.

"Hi, I'm Ino." She said extending her hand to the girl. "Couldn't help but notice your attraction toward the lazy bum."

The poor girl with the messy blond hair and thick glasses almost died of fright as the pretty blond skidded to a halt in front of her. The words that tumbled out of the stranger's mouth did not in anyway help calm her nerves. "I-I…." she managed to stammer.

Ino pursed her lips, perhaps she was a little too forward, "I'm sorry, didn't mean to frighten you. Let's start over. Hi, I'm Ino." She said, this time leaving out any mention of the lazy bum.

"Um, hi? I'm Shiho." The girl replied nervously, shaking Ino's extended hand.

"So, Shiho," Ino said with a bright smile, "how long have you known Shikamaru?"

The mention of his name made Shiho blush ferociously. "I… we… a couple of days? A week? Maybe two?"

"Oh, not long then… well then, you're in luck. I, Ino Yamanaka, Shikamaru's teammate and long time friend, am here to help him notice you."

Shiho blinked at the girl in front of her. "Excuse me?" The pretty blond with the perfect hair did not make Shiho feel very lucky. In fact it depressed her to know that such a woman was a constant at his side. How could Shikamaru possibly notice her when he had someone like Ino around him all the time.

Ino could not help but notice the despair that crept across Shiho's face. If she was reading the girl properly she would have to conclude that Shiho believed her to be a rival, the very thought made her shudder. "Stop. Just stop right there."

"Huh? Stop what?" Shiho asked perplexed.

"Judging by your face, you're thinking something outrageous like 'how could he possibly notice me with someone like her around,' please throw that thought away and never think it again." Ino shuddered again. "That thought gives me the hibbie jibbies."

For a moment Shiho was taken aback. How was this girl reading her thoughts? But then the fact that this girl had zero romantic interest in Shikamaru released a wave of relief through her body and she let out a small sigh. Not that she really thought she had much of a chance with someone as brilliant and amazing as Shikamaru, but if a beautiful girl like Ino was out of the running, a regular girl like herself might just have a chance.

"Besides," Ino continued, "It's not me you should be worried about. But don't worry, with my help, there's no way he could not notice you."

"What?" The fact that there was someone else set Shiho into an internal panic. Who was this mystery woman? Did she even stand a chance? But then again Ino was offering her help, perhaps it would be enough.

"I shall be giving you a makeover." Ino said with the biggest smile on her face. Makeovers were her forte, and she loved makeovers almost as much as she loved matchmaking. She was confident that if anybody could make that useless lazy bum notice Shiho, it would be her.

"A makeover?" Shiho contemplated the thought for a second. Yes, she probably was in need of a good grooming, being one who never really cared about how she looked she would not even know where to start. Having someone like Ino give her a hand would be nice, besides, Ino had made it clear that with her help, he was bound to notice her. "Okay."

"Great!" Ino exclaimed. "I need to pick up a few things, meet me at the Yamanaka flower shop in an hour. I'll set up a date for you guys tonight."

"Wait, what? A date!?" Shiho exclaimed to the air as the pretty kunochi had already disappeared.

Shiho let out a breath as as she nervously opened the door to the Yamanaka flower shop. She was getting the chance of a life time tonight, and she did not want to blow it. Ever since she had caught sight of Shikamaru a year ago she was instantly attracted to him. When he came into the Cryptanalysis office a few weeks ago she almost felt her head explode. He was so smart, talented, brilliant, and not to mention hot. Up close he was even more attractive than she had previously thought. Working with him set her heart on fire, and now this Ino girl was giving her an actual chance to go on a date with him, and a makeover to boot.

Ino sprang up the moment the door opened and rushed Shiho into the back room. There was a lot to get done before dinner tonight. She was still impressed that she had somehow convinced Shikamaru to go out to dinner tonight. Granted she did not tell him she was setting him up on a date with Shiho, she just insisted he go out and dine with her. She was sure that he would not mind if she brought someone extra along.

Settling in the chair Ino roughly pushed her into Shiho began to regret her decision to take her up on this offer. It seemed like a makeover was much more intense than what she had bargained for. For starters, Ino had already started combing out her hair and placing it in foils, insisting that they had to darken up her color a little be before they could do anything else.

Ino smiled wickedly as she continued to work on Shiho's hair. To her, the hair was everything. It was what would make or break this whole makeover, and for one, it was too light, but she had the proper tools to rectify that.

"We have to do something about your glasses." Ino finally said when the last of Shiho's hair was wrapped up in foil and ready to set.

"My glasses? But I can't see without them."

"Not to worry. I was able to get your prescription from Tsunade-sama and managed to acquire a set of contacts that should fit. Best part is, they're green." Ino declared triumphantly.

Shiho frowned. She never liked the idea of contacts. Placing foreign objects in her eyes just never really sat right with her, besides, what did it matter what color they were, she was happy with her grey eyes. "Do you really think that's necessary?"

Ino huffed. Of course it was necessary, next to the hair, the eyes were everything. "Yes, now just put them on. Your hair will be done in about thirty minutes, in that time I can work on your makeup."

By the time Ino finished with her make up and moved on to removing all the foils, Shiho could not even recognize herself. She was definitely regretting this decision. What good was it to have him notice her if she did not even look like herself. She had half a mind to tell Ino that this was all a bad idea and that perhaps they should stop, but she was so into it that Shiho could not find the right words to say. Besides, the past hour has pretty much convinced her that there was nothing she could possibly say to get Ino to stop.

As Ino bunched the last of Shiho's hair together and tied it off she could not help by smile at her handiwork. She was sure that Shikamaru would notice the shy mousy girl now. All that was left was to have Shiho change into the black kimono she managed to find and tie her off with a nice red obi. It was all coming together perfectly, dinner's going to be a riot.

When Ino finally presented Shiho in front of the full length mirror and declared they were done, Shiho almost fainted. Shiho did not recognize herself. Standing before her was a beautiful woman, capable of captivating any man's heart. She was not sure she had the confidence to pull of such a look.

"Just keep your head up and smile..." Or rather, scowl. Ino chuckled to herself.

As Shikamaru approached the restaurant with Chouji by his side, the first thing he noticed was the flash of four blond pigtails before the door closed. He did not have to look at Chouji to know that his best friend had also noticed her and was giving him a knowing smile.

Shikamaru frowned. He could not remember if she had said anything about coming to town. He always knew when to expect her, and if she was here then one of two things happened. Either he forgot that she said something, which was bad because that would mean he would pay for it later, or that she was here unannounced. Which was also bad because if she was here unannounced there were simply just too many variables to consider on how to approach her. Either way he figured he was screwed.

Letting out a sigh he pushed open the door and allowed Chouji to enter first. When he stepped through the threshold and took a look around he froze. Standing by the hostess podium was an extremely irate looking Temari. Further into the room sat a very nervous looking Ino who was seated next to a terrified looking, he wanted to say Shiho, dressed as Temari.

When Temari entered the restaurant, all the blood drained from Ino's face. This scenario was most definitely not something she had considered would happen when she came up with this ridiculous plan earlier that day. For starters, Temari lived in Suna. Suna which was a three day run away. Temari was not supposed to be here. HERE. In Konoha, in the very restaurant she had decided was the best place to put her insane plan into play.

To say Temari was not amused would be an understatement. The two women seated at the table by the window confirmed what she thought she saw. A girl dressed just like herself, from her signature ponytails to the black kimono she had recently just started wearing. It confused her as to why there was a girl dressed exactly like her next to Shikamaru's teammate. Either her look had really picked up during the past couple of times she was here, or Ino must be deranged in some way to find it amusing to dress up some strange woman like her and parade her around town. For Ino's sake she hoped it was the former, because the latter made absolutely no sense. Why would Ino feel the need to dress someone up like her, was she trying to make a statement? Was she implying that she believed someone would be interested in her? Although he was not there, so maybe that was not the case, but then the door opened.

Temari did not need to turn around to know who just walked in, for that irritating scent of stale cigarettes and pine filtered into her nostrils. Something clicked inside her when the realization hit that perhaps, just maybe Ino had concocted this whole thing as a means of playing matchmaker. Although that would mean that Ino believed that he would for some reason be attracted to her, and that did not sit right with her. It was preposterous.

Shikamaru furrowed his brow as he contemplated how best to proceed. There really was no way around not incurring Temari's wrath. Considering all he had to do was look at her and she would find a reason to hit him with that iron fan of hers. He knew that somehow that troublesome woman will find a way to pin this all on him, even though he was just as confused as she was about all this. He concluded that it would be best to just leave and pretend he did not see anything, so he turned on his heel and proceeded to exit the place muttering "troublesome women" under his breath.

"Where are you going?" Chouji asked dragging Shikamaru back into the room. "Ino invited us to dinner, and there she is."

Shikamaru blinked. Did Chouji not see the two Temari's in the room? Thinking fast he recalled the sign posted in the window of Chouji's favorite restaurant. "Oi, Chouji, I think that BBQ restaurant across the street is having a special on pork belly."

"Really? Then why would Ino suggest this place? Let's go."

A sly smirk ghosted Shikamaru's lips as he held open the door for his best friend and the two men exited the restaurant.

An awkward silence filled the room with the slamming of the door. Temari was not sure what just happened. Perhaps she was wrong in her assessment of the situation. Maybe this was not a set up for a date, maybe there was some other explanation for what was going on, or maybe her look really was catching on.

Ino gulped when she saw Shikamaru successfully convince Chouji to leave, luckily it did not seem that Temari was pissed, confused yes, but not angry. Perhaps Ino still had a chance, but then Temari's gaze fixated on her and she felt a chill run down her spine. The room was uncomfortably silent, and Ino almost felt it was the calm before the storm when she suddenly heard the soft click of Temari's tessen being released from its carrier.

Surprisingly no attack came. Instead Temari calmly came forward, drove the huge iron fan into the ground next to Ino's foot and turned her attention to Shiho as she slowly shook her head and clicked her tongue. "I can point you to a good weapon's store if you want to pick up a tessen to complete the look." She said with a smirk while gesturing at the large iron fan she was leaning on.

"I... I..." Shiho stammered nervously. Although she had no idea who this woman Ino clearly based her makeover off of was, she could feel the intimidating power radiating off of her.

"Oh that won't be necessary Temari-san." Ino said as coolly as she could. "Shiho here's a civilian, no need for a war fan."

"Well then," Temari said with an unreadable glint in her eye. "I'll be on my way. Clearly you already have the look down."

"So, uh, Ino-san," Shiho finally said when Temari walked off. "it doesn't seem like your plan worked. I don't think Shikamaru recognized me. Thanks for your help anyway."

Ino huffed. "That idiot left before he got a chance to really see you." Ino was frustrated beyond belief. All her hard work had gone to waste. It was unbelievable that Temari had shown up. It just made Ino want to try again, at a later time, when she could be SURE Temari would not show up and ruin everything. "We need to try again."

"What? No. I don't think so." Shiho said, shuddering at the thought of going through all that again. It was silly for her to think that changing everything about herself was the way to attract his attention. This whole experience has shown her that it would be much better to simply be herself. "It's very nice of you to help, but I think I can manage on my own."

"But... but..." Ino sputtered, refusing to accept defeat.

"No really, it's okay."

"Fine." Ino coneded in exasperation.

A/N: and there you have it folks. Haha betcha didn't expect that to end so... well calmly. Haha