Harry Potter and the DAC 2: ..Reunited..
Blam! A streak of blue just above a crowded alley and Megan, Shavai, Darcie, Whitney, Katie and I found ourselves in yet another tight fix. We looked arond holding our aching necks and backs to find out where the hell we were now.
"What the hell?" I asked aloud to no one in particular. I got a few grumbles and groans back. "Well, never get tired of those landings." I stared at the surroundings. We were in a dark, dingy shop. That much I knew as I roamed around in the dark seeing shelf upon shelf of skulls and bones and black candles. The scene looked familiar eerily familiar. Something popped in my mind.
"Uh guys," Darcie said standing up. "I don't think we're in Kansas anymore."
To get readers up to speed, we're the Dumbass Crew (D.A.C. for censorship). The DAC is our version for females of the popular MTV show, Jackass. It's made up of me and my two best friends, Megan and Shavai. And then there's Darcie (my little sister) and her two friends Whitney and Katie. We do everything together, from playing pranks, dropping objects from high altitude parking garages onto passing cars, to jumping into pools with benches (and everything inbetween). Point is, we've been through everything. Well, almost. But that almost was erased when I hosted a slumber party for my 15th birthday party. We watched Titanic and when everyone else was sleeping, I made a wish that we could go back to Titanic and change the ending. That wish ended up being one of the worst mistakes I'd ever made and we've been paying for it eversince going from movie to movie, changing some things around. So far, we've been to Titanic, Labyrinth and just got transferred from the first Harry Potter movie, where once again, we almost got killed.
So basically it all comes down to this: in a nutshell, we've been going from movie to movie and actually have been changing things. Sometimes they work out for the best and sometimes we really screw up and end up dying. Our first movie we screwed up was a perfect case of that. But here we were now... where ever here was.
"I'm getting a creepy vibe from this place." Megan said as she examined a human hand sticking out of a hunk of wood.
"Yeah, I know what you mean. And the even weirder thing is, I think I've seen that hand before." Shavai said motioning to the alien-looking hand. Whitney, Katie and Darcie gathered themselves around a big stand of shelves by the window. Darcie found a shrunken head with it's eyeballs sewn shut and was making it speak.
"Hello. My name is Chumba Wumba." She said motioning it's mouth with her fingers. The skin felt like leather to her, almost unreal feeling. Whitney and Katie cracked up.
"Hey!" I whispered harshly. "Put that down!"
"Fine. How selfish of me." Darcie said putting it to the side. "Lets do everything you wanna do." Whitney nudged her companion.
"Hey, don't lose your head." She said, making Darcie crack a grin.
"Maybe you should listen to Delaney. She does have a head for these things." Katie shot back.
"One more head-joke and someone's losing theirs." Megan whispered. Darcie, Whitney and Katie looked at each other.
"Yeah guys, lets stop before we're in over our-" Before Darcie could finish her sentence, I narrowed my eyes at her and she finished, "Toes."
I looked around some more and noticed a large fireplace. But this was weird. What was a fireplace doing in a store, that had nothing inside but stuff for dark magic. I looked around inside when suddenly I realized something.
"Hey guys, you're not gonna believe this but we're in," I was cut off by some bright neon-green flames. When the flames cleared I had a boy ontop of me that appeared out of nowhere and as soon as I got over the shock, I spoke again.
"Harry Potter."
As soon as I mentioned the name, Megan's eyes lit up and Darcie began hitting her head against the door. Harry simply realized he was ontop of me, but didn't seem to be moving anytime soon.
"Harry. You can get up now." I suggested. He mumbled an incoherent apology and got himself up to come face to face with Megan. Me and Shavai looked at each other with a worried look, remembering at the end of our first adventure at Hogwarts, we had Harry forget her by tricking her to place a spell on him.
"Hello." He said looking into her eyes through the round glasses hanging off his face. "Do I know you from somewhere?"
Before Megan could answer, I interuppted looking at the creepy lighting and noticing we weren't in the friendliest of places. We all agreed it was time to leave, so we all filed out of the store and into the streets, one by one. Harry was the last to leave and was pulled back by an old woman's gnarled hand on his sleeve.
"Not lost are you my dear?" She half-way screeched into his ear.
"How can he be lost?" Megan answered coming up from behind him, "We're pretty much following the leader."
"Well, come on, dearies." She said in a hissing voice. "We'll help you find your way back."
"I doubt you could." I answered thinking we were from the real world and this was nothing more than a movie set, she was a barely paid actress, and the boy known as Harry was plain old Daniel Radcliffe. I looked around at all the mean, stingy looking faces that seemed to have us surrounded in the darkness. I had hoped these people were like cockroaches and fled at the sign of light like vampires. But they didn't dissappear when I blinked them away, they seemed to stay as permanent as shadows, like demons from hell encircling us - about to do God knows what.
"Harry? Girls?" A familiar voice called above the crowd. We looked in the direction and saw a large shadow. We knew instantly who it was and we sighed in relief.
"Hagrid!" Darcie announced. We all rushed ourselves over to him.
"Oh my god." Whitney said. "Never in my life have I been so happy to see a half-man, half-giant in all my life."
We walked away from the darkness known as Nocturn Alley and walked into the normal sections of Diagon Alley. Back to light, and Autumn festive colors where the weirdest thing to be seen was simply us because of the 'outrageous' clothes we were wearing. Everyone was simply wearing band shirts and jeans, except for Katie who wore a pink-prep skirt from Hollister.
"You kids should stay away from that area. People might think you're up to no good." Hagrid spoke to us and chided us for being there (as if we had any control).
"Wait a minute. Us up to no good. What were you doing down there?" Shavai asked.
"Oh, me? I was looking for flesh-eating slug repellent. They're ruining all the school cabbages." He answered in what sounded like a definite lie. but at this point in time, it didn't matter. We all knew the story line and the unfolding of the future events, and nothing ever happened to Hogwarts that involved a flesh-eating slug repellent scandal. Unless somehow Hagrid got to all the victims and persuaded them that to be cool, they'd need to huff the repellent and they were all dumb enough to.
By the time we took notice of where we were, we arrived at the book shop in time to see Hermione come out to greet us all. Unfortuneatley, she recalled us. Harry acted oblivious to the fact she knew Megan, while he did not. As soon as we walked in, we met up with Ron's mother and father and the rest of the family. I spotted Ron's little sister Ginny Weasley.
"Doesn't Ginny have a crush on Harry?" I asked Shavai leaning over so she'd hear me, but hardly anyone else could.
"Uh, yeah I think she does." She replied, making an equal attempt to keep it on the secret side. Just before I could mention something else, a library official announced
"Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Gilderoy Lockheart." With that there was a minimal applause. He smiled and posed for the cameras as a man from the Daily Prophet pushed himself through the crowd. Amongst the pandemonium, I thought something to myself that was very serious.
"Hey, who the hell names a boy "Gilderoy?' " I asked aloud to no one in particular. Pretty much everyone shrugged. A few swooning fangirls decided to sit there and look disgusted cause I said what was probably the first question they asked themselves before they were brainwashed by his fake facade. "Seriously. It's like the whole Uma Thurman thing." I then thought about her name. "God, I feel sorry for her." Darcie looked back at me raising an eyebrow.
"Why do you feel sorry for Uma Thurman?" She asked. I merely grinned.
"Because her name is 'Uma'."
Just at that moment, Gilderoy's overly-gay smile looked in Harry's direction, taking immediate notice of the scar.
"It can't be - Harry Potter?" He muttered. People surrounding us all looked in his direction and mummbled among themselves in hushed whispers.The man from the Daily Prophet held his camera tightly in one hand while he grabbed Harry's sleeve and practically threw him to Gilderoy's side like a rag-doll.
"It's for the Daily Prophet." He reminded Harry, as though that reason alone was enough not to hit him. I looked at Darcie's face and she was staring off into space pretty much - probably planning something really evil to do to Gilderoy.
"Nice to meet you, I suspect you and I shall make the front page." We heard Gilderoy mention to Harry before the camera flashed in their faces and all but blinded poor Harry. Gilderoy then thought of the cheesiest thing he could do now that Harry had the spotlight on himself for a moment.
"Ladies and gentlemen," He began to announce. "When young Harry Potter stepped into this shop today to purchase my new auto-biography "Magical Me", little did he know he would be taking home my entire collected works," He motioned to another guy and pretty muched slammed books into Harry's arms as he added "Free of charge."
Amazingly, that was enough to get a small applause as well.
"I feel bad for Harry." Megan said off-handed to Ron. Ron had a confused look cross his freckled face as he asked her why.
"Because he already has to find a big enough trash can for that, and now he's getting free bullshit." She mentioned. Her and Ron both busted out in giggles.
They treated Gilderoy like some actual celebrity, or as I would correct myself, they treated him like someone with an actual talent. It made me a little upset that later we had to expose him to the people to show him off for what he was, but when I saw him making goo-goo eyes at Katie, and Katie flipping him off, made me lose all insignificant amounts of sympathy I had for him. He now had it coming. Harry walked back over by Ron's mother and she primped herself trying to look her best and took the books and mentioned she'd have them signed for him.
We all stood together: Harry, Ron, Hermione, Katie, Darcie, Whitney, Shavai, Megan and myself and we prepared ourselves to go school shopping once again. Suddenly as we're walking out, I remember who we were supposed to run into in a few moments, so in a last-ditch effort, I grabbed a copy of Lockheart's 'Magical Me' and shoved my face behind its numerous pages filled with lies. Darcie looked confused at me.
"Why're you hiding?" She asked as she ripped the book from my grip, took one look at its cover and threw it behind us right into Gilderoy. Suddenly from the staircase we passed, I was suddenly blinded by some other-worldly blonde, gelled-down locks. "That's why." I mentioned as I covered my eyes as he started in on Harry.
"Bet you liked that, didn't you Potter?" He snarled. Harry looked confused. "Famous Harry Potter. Can't even go into a book shop without having his picture taken."
"Look Rocky Horror," Darcie said stepping out from behind us. "You need to back down before you get smacked down." Draco flinched at the memory of smacking coming back to his mind from the last time he had encountered Darcie.
"Smacked down? You won't hit me, girly." He challenged Darcie. Darcie's eyes lit up with a type of fire that almost made it look like hell was burning in her eyes.
"Say that again?" She asked, we could see by her hip she was beginning to clench her fist. He started in again.
"I said-" But before he could finish his sentence, he was interupted by a cane handle gently falling onto his shoulder telling him to stop. Our eyes followed up to the arm of Lucious Malfoy - Draco's father. And if I wasn't gonna get it from Draco, I knew he'd had something to say about it.