A/N: This story is a birthday gift to my best friend, Dark Universe.
Buddy, I really hope you'll like it. :)
Oh, and it's a two-shot! :D
Full summary: People in love find themselves doing things that they never would have done if there wasn't that one special person in their hearts. We are ready to give our lives for the ones we love, even thought they wouldn't want us too, and we are okay with that. Because that's love, right?
Matt screwed it up and he knew that. Maybe he should have listened, maybe he should have stayed away from the danger, at least this time. But now that it was done, what could he do but disappear? It will be safer for others if he just... well, if he was gone. He was willing to sacrifice everything for them. And he was ready... but no one said it would be easy.
And I'm screaming at the sky, and I'm yelling at the top of my lungs, and I cry and cry...But nothing ever changes.
Because life isn't fair, it took you away before I had the time to say... what I wanted to say.
Lightning tore through the night with a mighty roar that emphasized its glory and power. The strong shower fell over the city, the tapping noise of the raindrops being the only sound in the dark room with a single candle flickering, as its flame was slowly dying.
"Are you sure this is the only way?"
"I wouldn't even consider it if it wasn't the last resort, Mello." The pained voice whispered into the phone, the hours of not sleeping and worrying evident in it. The tired tone and the way his voice broke at the end due to the limp in his throat… it all showed just how exhausted he was.
You know, it didn't all start that very day.
Oh no, it lasted for a longer period. That pain, sadness and helplessness, it all lasted for months, days, hours… but no one heard it or noticed it because he knew how to hide it too well.
"Matt, maybe it's better if you think about it again. We can gather our gang an-…"
"No. It's… It's how it's supposed to be… Or maybe not, but it's the only way I see, you know?"
He tried to keep the tears from his voice but as silly as it might sound, he had no control over them. The thunder echoed through the room, the flash of light illuminating the room for a second before the darkness swallowed it again, along with that single figure sitting on a couch, completely broken.
His red hair was covering his eyes and nose, making his lips the only visible part of his face. The black and white shirt was hanging from him, with his trademark goggles resting around his neck lazily and moving up and down with every breath he took.
"...Were you planing on telling her?"
A short gasp escaped his lips, a sound between a sob and a hiss that was so painful and desperate, and… heartbreaking.
The mask he had over his emotions for the past few months slowly slipped and broke into million pieces, letting the tears run down and fall onto the soft rug beneath his feet.
He didn't sob and he didn't weep, but the tears…
Those damn tears just never seemed to end, and truth to be told, he never tried to stop them.
"No, I wasn't."
He could hear the short gasps that his friend took on the other side of the line and he was sad to know that this all brought nothing but pain to his best friend... it's just that life isn't fair sometimes.
"…Matt, I-I can't let you do this. There… There HAS to be another way! We can try and-…"
"No, Mello... It's'..."
"What if you make a mistake? What if something goes wrong and then.. then-..."
"Then it was meant to be. But trust me on this one, okay?"
"I...I-I can't.. You... Matt, please, we can do this together! Like we always do!"
"...Goodbye, Mello. Just... Just take care of her, will you…? And can you tell her that I love her? And... Thank you... For-for everything."
The line went dead before he could hear his best friend's desperate pleas.
The silence that filed the apartment afterwards was heavy, creating a strong hold around his heart that struggled to work with every pump.
But he wasn't afraid.
That strong hold over his heart and the inability to breathe properly… That wasn't fear.
Because he knew what would happen in the end. He knew that if he wants to finish this tiring battle he's been fighting for the last few months, he has to do it.
The only problem is that he only now realized that he won't be seeing her again.
The rain seemed to fall even harder as he took a step toward the table and grabbed the small picture from it, along with a lighter and a bottle of alcohol.
He pops the bottle open and swings it around, letting the liquid soak the rug and floor, the curtains and the papers on the desk.
The picture in his hand wrinkled under his firm hold as he collapses on the sofa and he pressed it closer to his chest, after kissing it lightly and straightening its edges.
The clock ticks midnight.
The rain increases, as if God was trying to tell him something, but he just didn't listen.
He lights the lighter, staring into the flame as it illuminated his face, showing the crystal clear blue eyes filled with nothing but determination. Not even the pain and sadness in the back of them could outshine the determination that shone so brightly in those deep eyes.
Then, he dropped the lighter and suddenly…
There was fire.
We always said that we will have forever, but now I wonder if everything we said was nothing but a lie.
So I scream, I beg and cry, but God just won't give you back.
And here I am, all alone…
You know, this world no longer feels like home.
It is funny how a single phone call can crush your life.
How that one information, that you receive in the middle of a night, from a person close to you, can send your world crumbling down and shattering into pieces that are too small to be glued and fixed.
That's how Anya felt.
The next few days passed in a blur to her. She couldn't tell many events that took place after she received that call around two a.m. from Mello, telling her that Matt's apartment got ruined in a fire, and that they found the evidence that Matt was there at the time of the fire.
Her Matt was gone.
What she could still feel was the cold wind and rain that soaked her as she ran towards his apartment, panic shattering her heart and filling her lungs with fear so strong that she was drowning in it.
She remembers the moment when she stopped in front of his building and came face to face with the raging fire that enveloped his whole floor and was threatening to spread further. The firemen, which were trying their best to put out the fire, noticed her and tried to push her away, but her screams and sobs frightened them and they moved her a little, having no heart to completely move her from the scene.
And even though they had no proof, they knew that someone dear to her just died in that fire.
She didn't move from that spot in hours. Her knees gave up in one moment and she collapsed on the ground, her eyes fixed onto the fire and nothing else.
It seemed like she believed that if she moves or looks away from the burning horror in front of her, her Matt won't be able to find his way back home... to her.
Hours passed. At one point, someone dropped a blanket on her. Then, they gave her tea and some food, but she didn't touch it.
She was frozen, numb and completely… empty.
The sun slowly peeked out, and the fire finally vanished.
A set of warm arms wrapped around her and she caught a glimpse of blond hair in the corners of her vision. The deep, male soothing voice whispered in her ear, and she let him pull her around until she found herself in bed, with soft pillow and the new set of hand, this time feminine, hugging her and crying softly.
Then, and just then, she snapped out of her trance.
She looked into Catherine's, her best friend's, eyes, the warm brown eyes filled with tears, and suddenly the soft sobs echoing through the room registered in her brain.
She wasn't sure if that was her or Catherine, but she didn't really care in the end.
She let the tears fall and everything she kept inside came out, without reserve.
Because in that moment, it all became crystal clear.
Her Matt won't be coming home.
The funeral happened a few days later. The amount of people who came was small, but not a single pair of eyes was dry by the end of the service.
In the first row, Mello, Catherine and Anya were staring at the elegant black casket that was being lower into the ground, their hands intertwined in a soft prayer and words of encouragement. The casket was sealed because they said that there was nothing left of him except ashes, and that was not something his dear ones should see.
Anya's soft sobs and hiccups were breaking the hearts of everyone present who watched the scene as she lowered a single red rose onto his gravestone and stepped back into the row and into the hands of Catherine, who was trying her best to be the rock that everyone needed.
No one held a speech.
Mello wasn't good with words, Catherine was afraid that she might break if she does, and Anya…
She was broken and that was it. Completely broken and beyond repair.
After two hours, everyone left. They paid their respect and seeing that there was nothing that they could do to help, they left.
The last one to leave the quiet space around Matt's gravestone was Anya. She could feel the gazes of Mello and Catherine, but she knew that they were too busy to pay attention on her words, and besides, she trusted them not to.
She glanced at the sky above her that was so clear and blue, like his eyes always were.
"You know, you would've enjoyed today's day. It was so warm and nice… Not a single cloud. The rain has finally stopped."
Ragged breath escaped her lips but she composed herself just for a little longer. She knew that she had only one chance to say it all before her sobs gain more strength.
"… I love you… And I hope you knew that. Mello… He, um, told me that you said that you loved me too. We, uh… We didn't show evidence that this all might have been a…" The words stuck in her throat but she swallowed and continued, her voice a little weaker than before,"… a suicide. Because, you see, no one believes in that. You weren't like that and... And I know it wasn't… that."
"I don't know what to say anymore. Um… Just... Just do me a favor, will you? Just wait for me. Can you do that? Can you wait for me for a little while? ...Don't forget me and soon… soon, we'll meet again, okay?"
"Just wait, love… I... I love you Matt."
She turned and left, her hair dancing behind her as she walked with her head held up high. Her cheeks were free from tears, but her eyes were glittering as the sun shone over them.
As she passed by the entrance of the graveyard, a few meters away, by the huge oak tree, she saw a figure.
She saw the glimpse of red hair, the white-and-black shirt, and the orange goggles…
But just as she blinked, it was gone.
So you just wait for me, please just remember me…
I will be there, just give me some time.
You know I love you so and I won't let you go…
I will be there…
Just give me some time.