A/N: Hi everybody! So this is my first attempt at a Twilight Fic, so be kind. I love Carlisle so I wanted to do a Bella/Carlisle pairing. If you don't like it, you don't have to read it, I accept that people have certain preferences and I'm just expressing mine. So here you go, I hope you enjoy. If there are a lot of reviews I may expand on the one shot, so let me know what you think!

Also, I do not own any characters from Twilight.

He is Not a Lover Who Does Not Love Forever

I couldn't breathe. The world truly stopped spinning and there was nothing. There was nothing but him and I…and he was so beautiful I couldn't breathe…

One Day Earlier

It was another rainy day in Forks. Normal. Dreary. Everything that Forks was without the Cullens in my life. It had been months since he had left, Edward. I thought he was the love of my life, but you know what they say about teenagers and love…its impulsive and irrational.

I lost him. Well, he left me. He said that he couldn't hurt me anymore, but what he didn't realize was he caused more pain by abandoning me. I didn't eat, I didn't sleep. I was-am still- irrevocably broken...

"Bella! I'm leaving for the station. Eat something!" Charlie yelled up to me from downstairs. Charlie had been so worried for me when Edward left. I don't blame him, I turned into a ghost. But that's all in the past now. And things are best left in the past. I'm still deathly skinny and look like a stranger in my mirror, but I am slowly recovering as best as I can. Jacob tries to help as much as he can, but I like to be alone and he just can't understand that…(sigh).

I got up reluctantly and turned on my computer before I went down to stomach something for Charlie's sake. It was Saturday and I hadn't checked my email in a couple of days. I had four emails from Mom, and decided to sit down and write a long one to appease her nerves. God knows, she worries. After filling the holes in my letter with teenage love drama from Forks High, I sent it along, feeling better about having got back to her.

I quickly scanned my inbox again and noticed an address I'd never seen before. I clicked on it quickly, and smiled wide as I read.

"Bella!

I don't have much time, but I needed to talk to you and tell you something extremely important. Don't be afraid to give in. Trust your heart and most importantly don't forget to breathe! I'm afraid that's all I can say right now, but it will come together in time, just trust me and most important trust yourself. I miss you so much. We all do. We will all be reunited soon though, I promise.

Much Love,

Alice

P.S. Esme and Jasper had to physically restrain me from coming back to you when I saw your condition. EAT SOMETHING and for God sakes wear the clothes I bought for you please! It's as much for your sake as for everyone else's."

I was elated, shocked, and confused all at the same time. I missed Alice so much. I missed everyone. But the most disturbing thing, the thing that made me hold my breath was what Alice said, "Don't be afraid to give in." I had been having the most bizarre dream ever since I met the Cullens, well, one Cullen in particular. I had never told anyone because quite frankly it scared me in its intensity.

Carlisle Cullen. I had dreamed about him since the day I first met him in the ER as he took care of me after the van accident. He had been so gentle and kind, but I felt his intensity and energy every time I saw him. He was confident and unwavering and I was completely in awe of him. It was like a drug to me and every night I'd dream of his touch…his voice…his smell. "Bella, Do not be afraid to give into me, my dear. Trust in me." I shuddered at the parallel Alice's letter carried, but how could Alice see my dreams? She only saw the future. I was probably just overreacting. The Cullens were long gone and I was still here alone. If I couldn't hold Edward's attention, there was no chance for me to ever entertain the idea of Carlisle and me. I shrugged it off as a teenage fantasy and kept my thoughts to myself for my own entertainment.

The dreary afternoon quickly came and went and soon it was dark as black velvet outside my window. All I had to show for my day was a few chapters read in my book and a completed Trig assignment. Alice's letter was still in my thoughts and gnawing at me throughout the day. Finally, I pulled my laptop in front of me and tried to write back a response when the phone rang.

"Hey Bells," Charlie sighed tiredly from the other end.

"Hey Dad, what's up?" I asked, already knowing he was going to pull an all-nighter at the station from his tone.

"I still have some real work to finish up here, so don't wait up for me, ok? I'll be home tomorrow morning at the latest. Cases are really bearing down hard."

"It's Fine, Dad. I'll put leftovers in the fridge for you. Don't stay up too late."

"Thanks, Bells. See you tomorrow."

I sighed. Charlie worked so hard to rationalize events that could never be rationalized in his world. I felt badly for him, but he gets something from helping Forks and keeping it safe so he'll never give up. It's his nature.

Resigned to my night being spent alone, I went back to Alice's email,

"My Darling Alice,

I have not talked to you in months and this is the first correspondence I get? A cryptic code? I'm disappointed. I miss you so much too. How is everyone? Do they all hate me for making them move? I feel so badly about everything. I do hope your promise comes true, I want to see everyone. Edward may not want to have anything to do with me, but I miss you all and need to see you.

About your cryptic code…I'm going to need more information as to what you could possibly mean. I-"

A swift, strong knock startled me to my core. I quickly looked at the clock and saw it was after midnight. "Maybe Charlie decided to come home and left his key?" I thought to myself as I walked quickly over to the door, unbolted it and threw it open with my hand on my hip ready to scold.

"Hello, Bella."

There he was. Standing before me, looking as gorgeous and god like as ever, was the dashing Carlisle Cullen. His eyes were a rich caramel, soft with worry and relief it seemed. He was much taller than I remembered, with golden blonde hair swept perfectly in place. He was effortless, everything he did right down to his smile was effortless. He was wearing a nicely fitted, blue oxford dress shirt, and black dress slacks that hugged all the right places. He was as handsome as the first day I had laid eyes on him, and disgustingly perfect in every way. Standing next to him felt so wrong and perverse that I took a step back so as not to tarnish his flawlessness. However, I ended up tripping over my back foot, falling to the floor before I felt hands on my waist steadying me. Those strong, smooth hands I had dreamed about all those nights touching me in ways I could never imagine. I felt hot and dizzy, and his touch was not doing anything to relieve that.

Carlisle chuckled lightly, "Bella, Bella, Bella…our fragile human. How has it been so long?" He sat me upright and gave me a heartbreaking, dazzling smile.

Finally, I found my voice, "Carlisle…Oh my God, what are you doing here? It's been so long! I've missed you. How is everyone?" I hugged him and felt him hesitant to pull away.

"Ma Bella. We've missed you too. Everyone is fine…they've all been worried sick and I can see why my dear. Look at you! You look like you're going to snap if the wind blows to hard. You haven't been eating." He stared at me admonishing, as he surveyed my body, swimming in clothes I had fit quite nicely into just a few months ago. My face grew hot, and I could feel the redness radiating off my face as I saw the concern and a little anger in his eyes.

"I'm sorry. I don't…"

"Bella, I came back because Alice kept getting images of you in horrible states, and I needed to come help ease everyone's minds. Everyone blames themselves for what's happened to you. I'm so sorry for Edward's behavior, it was childish and hurtful and I wanted to apologize in person and I need to see you're taken care of you until you've regained your health." His eyes held such sadness and self-loathing as he looked at me, as if he was solely responsible for my condition. If it was possible, I felt even worse about myself.

"Please…Carlisle, I understand why you feel you need to be here but none of this was anyone's fault but my own. Please, you do not need to stay here and take care of me. I am fine. You also do not need to apologize for Edward's actions; neither you nor anyone in the family had anything to do with what he decided. I do not want to waste your time away from your family to sit here and babysit me. I am fine. Really, I am." I said quietly, afraid that if I looked at him in the eye I would say what I really wanted to say, "Don't go! I love you. I've always loved you. Hold me…make love to me, never leave me."

"Bella, you are so stubborn sometimes. I knew it from the moment I met you. I am staying. My family wants what's best for our family, yes, and that means that I come take care of one of us in need. Bella Swan, you are forever and always will be a Cullen in our eyes. You silly girl." He smiled and embraced me tightly, as he placed a tender kiss on my forehead. I never wanted to leave his embrace, but I knew it was fruitless to say how I felt. I could only imagine the horror of telling Carlisle how much he meant to me and the mortification that would come with his tender rejection.

"Look at you, you're all skin and bones. Unacceptable." He tsked as he strolled to the kitchen, effortless as always to look as graceful as ever, "You'll have to forgive me, I have not been in the kitchen for a long time." He smiled and chuckled at his joke as he scraped together the little ingredients we had in the fridge and made a beautiful meal of chicken marsala in record time.

"How was it?" He grinned at my nearly empty plate.

"Carlisle, it was fantastic. How do you do it?" I said, finishing my last bite.

"Lots of time on my hands, I guess." He winked and I laughed out loud. It sounded so foreign to me; I hadn't laughed like that since Edward left. It felt great and I found myself grinning from ear to ear.

I felt bold in that moment and so I decided to run with an idea of mine. I can't say whether it was the great food or company, but I needed to ask him my burning questions, "Carlisle, I heard from Alice today. She emailed me. Am I to assume this "visit" is a coincidence?" I said taking the drying cloth from his hands and drying the wet plate on the counter.

But he knew better, and didn't show any faltering in his response, "What a coincidence. I had no idea she had contacted you. Anything good enough to share?"

"No, I was just wondering that's all," I sighed, all thoughts of my fantasies going out the window and continued to dry the plate in my hands.

I felt a strong hand lift my chin to his eye level, and the other set the plate on the counter, "You're a bad liar, Bella Swan and you always have been." His eyes were burning with something I couldn't quite identify yet and we were so close I could feel his sweet breath on my cheek, cool like the autumn breeze.

He was intoxicating me, everything around us stopped and I knew what I was seeing in his eyes: passion, sympathy, and desire. My breath grew ragged as his hands moved down to grip my waist firmly, his golden eyes staring right through me, intense and soft at the same time. His lips were so close to mine, I could lightly feel the cool sensation on my lips. As he whispered in my ear, I closed my eyes concentrating on his words through my passion induced haze, "Bella, give into me. I know you've longed for it so long, as I have. Trust me, my darling and give yourself to me."

As his words finally dawned on me, he tenderly closed the tiny space between our lips, in a soft kiss full of promise. I found myself waging a war in my mind, "What am I doing?! This is Edward's Father for all intensive purposes. This is so…wrong and yet so right." I felt right with him, in his arms and I went to go wrap my arms around him in confidence when he pulled away.

Carlisle stopped abruptly, and with lightening speed disengaged himself from me, putting distance between us. It was all so fast, I had to grab the table next to me so as not to fall over. I was confused and hurt all at the same time. Did he find me repulsive or unattractive now that he actually kissed me? Was I not up to his standards? I mean, he had Esme, an insanely gorgeous woman who loved him and let alone any other beautiful woman he wanted. Why would he want me in the first place?

"Bella…I'm sorry. I thought-" Carlisle began, his body language tense and ready to leave at a second's notice. I was hurt not by one but two Cullen men now, and my temper got the best of me. Before he could utter another syllable, I cut in, my emotions getting the best of me.

"No, its ok, Carlisle. I understand. This is not what you wanted. And why would you?! You, the God that you are could go have anybody you want! Why settle for an awkward, clumsy, pale, shadow of a woman when you could find something up to your standards? I don't blame you, really, I just wish you could have figured that out a little sooner, before all this. First Edward, now you…am I something to just be toyed with? Are Emmett and Jasper waiting for their crack at me too?! I thought I finally found where I belong, but I see now it was just a mistake on my part, how could you find me attractive or even engaging at all when I couldn't even be that with Edward…" Great. I was crying. The whole thing with my anger and tear ducts being connected really is annoying, especially when trying to be strong, "Besides, you are with Esme and I would never do that to her. I don't know what I was thinking!"

He hadn't moved, I couldn't bring myself to look at him, but I hadn't heard him move. This fact made the tears fall more, because it was affirming everything I had just said, all of my fears and insecurities really were true-

Suddenly, I felt cool hands cup my cheeks, lightly bringing my face up so he could look at me. I assumed it was so he could say his goodbye, but when my eyes met his all I saw was anguish and sympathy in his warm caramel eyes. He slowly used his thumb to wipe away the tears that had just escaped their wet prison. I went to speak, telling him it was ok, that he could leave me when he pushed a finger to my lips, "Sshh, Bella. You've had your turn to talk, now it is mine. You're right, I wish I would have figured this out sooner," I dropped my eyes, in defeat. There it was. he really did feel all those things I had said.

"Bella, look at me," he commanded softly, with a tone of the authority figure he is, "I should have told you sooner how much I love you. I, contrary to your silly beliefs, want you and only you. You may not be the most balanced woman in the world, but a shadow of a woman? I think not. You are the most beautiful creature I've ever seen in my 300 plus years on this earth. From the first day I saw you in my ER, I was completely and irrevocably in love with you. I regretfully stood back when Edward expressed interest in you, I couldn't hurt him like that, but after this…after what he did to you, I see now I was wrong. I made the biggest mistake in my life by letting you go then, but I came here now to reconcile for what I've done to you. You are not a toy, Isabella Swan, you are a strong, caring, gorgeous woman to whom I have fallen completely enamored of. I pulled away because I didn't feel the same energy from you, and did not want to pressure you into something you do not want. Not because I don't think you're beautiful or just so I can play games with you. I am not Edward, Bella and I would surely end my life before I would hurt you."

"As for Esme, we have been growing apart for years. I love her and she loves me, but we are not in love. I don't think we ever really were. We have both talked and I told her how I felt about you. She was the one who urged me to come here tonight. She just wants you and me to be happy. But if this is not what you want, you must tell me, Bella. I will not force this upon you. I would never do that." He ended, staring intensely at me, almost as if he was able to see right through me.

I was in shock and awe of this man before me. He loved me? After all this time, after me telling myself that it was ridiculous to even think of the notion, here he was, Carlisle Cullen, declaring his love for me! I felt like I was going to faint from both embarrassment and want. I must have shown it on my face because he suddenly became worried and moved his hands to my hips in a firm grip, prepared if I was going to fall, "Bella?"

I couldn't breathe. The world truly stopped spinning and there was nothing. There was nothing but him and I…and he was so beautiful I couldn't breathe…I was crying again, and I couldn't think of any words to show him how I felt. So I did the one thing I could, I wrapped my arms around him tightly, as if I was holding on for dear life and kissed him hard and passionate, conveying every emotion I had in that moment willing him to know exactly how I felt.

I felt his arm snake around my waist, as another made its way into my hair, holding my lips to his. I felt the love emanating off of him and knew that I had found my personal Heaven, in Carlisle's arms.

He broke off the kiss, but tightened his hold on me, "I want you. I need you, Bella. You have no idea how long I've waited for you," he whispered huskily as I closed my eyes, letting the passion between us roll over me in waves. He began to kiss my neck softly, occasionally nipping here and there. It was all too much for us both and he quickly swept me up into his arms effortlessly, and we were in my room in the blink of an eye.

He laid me gently down onto my bed, and disappeared down to the end of the bed. I whimpered in discontent as he chuckled and took off my socks, massaging my feet and ever so slowly crawling his way up my body. It was all so sensual and sexy, I started becoming short of breath in anticipation. He slowly, maddeningly kissed his way up my legs to my knees then to my thighs and then to my navel.

He grabbed the hem of my shirt and slid his hands under it, caressing every inch of skin he encountered, all slowly and torturing. I couldn't take it anymore and I began to squirm underneath of him, in hopes that he'd speed up his intoxicating ministrations. He just chuckled again softly and locked his eyes with mine, "All good things come to those that are patient, my dear." He smirked at me as I gathered enough coherent thought from his touch to stick my tongue out at him in a childish defense.

I went to go take his shirt off, when I felt my hands being pinned above me, in a strong grip, "Ah ah ah, Bella. I'm going to take my sweet…long…time…with you," with each pause, he smirked that perfect smirk, pushed my shirt up, and placed a trail of sweet kisses down to my navel. I was paralyzed and willing to bend to his every will, if only he'd go faster. The slowness of it all was driving me wild and I was getting hot with need.

He finally made it up to my eye level, and kissed me intensely, to where I could feel it in my knees. He gently ran his tongue over my bottom lip seeking entrance and I gladly gave it to him, opening my mouth for his passionate assault. I moaned pleasantly and raked my fingers up and down his clothed back. He growled in his throat, and quickly pulled my shirt off in one fluid instant.

I was wearing a dark blue lace bra, the only fancy one I owned, and he smiled as he saw it, his hands and lips lavishing my skin, burning me with every touch he imparted. I instinctually raised my hips up into his, moaning in pleasure as he undid my bra. He quickly stilled my hips, forcefully holding them down to the bed, "Bella, if you keep doing that I'm not going to be able to continue much longer," he growled lustfully and threw my bra into the darkness of my room.

He held my breasts in his hands tenderly, and lavished them with attention one at a time, making me grasp the sheets to keep from bucking into him, and moaning with each scorching touch.

"You are over dressed," I said with a smile as I unbuttoned his shirt and admired the smooth, slate like chest, glowing in the moonlight. I just kept thinking how beautiful he was as he shrugged the shirt off the rest of the way and covered me with his body, skin to skin. His cool skin felt great on my flushed on, and I craved more of it.

He moved down to my jeans, looking up at me as he slowly unbuttoned them and pulled them down my legs, gracing each inch of exposed skin with a fleeting kiss. He kissed his way up from my ankle to my inner thigh, and his hands went to the dark blue panties sitting at my hips. He kissed along the line of my panties and stomach, making me burn with my own need. I moaned and closed my eyes as I felt his fingers wrap around the fabric at my hips and pull it off ever so slowly.

There I was, bare to him, and suddenly I felt self-conscious of myself, but only for the briefest of moments. I looked into his face and saw all the conviction I needed, as he pushed himself up, off of me and devoured my naked body with lust filled eyes.

"Bella…you are so unbelievably beautiful," He whispered into my ear as he captured my lips in yet another heated kiss. I almost lost it right there, and pulled him closer to me. I felt for his belt buckle but had difficulties undoing it. I whined at my unsuccessful attempt and felt his hands cover mine and undo the buckle himself. I then eased his pants down and he kicked them and his boxer briefs off onto the floor next to all our other discarded items.

We were both finally, bare to one another, and he was so perfect that I paled in comparison next to him, but all I saw was his lust and appreciation for me in his eyes. I smiled up at him and we kissed, our lips molding to one another in their smoldering intensity. I needed him and I needed him now.

"Carlisle," I whimpered as he left my lips once more and I felt his cool kiss down on me. It felt incredible as he parted me and kissed his way up and down, stopping to tease me every now and then. The pressure was building up in the pit of stomach, a warm, inviting feeling, and I began to pant his name as he quickened his tongue.

"Bella, let go for me, my darling. Trust me," He cooed as he returned to his ministrations and I felt the pressure implode within me, moaning his name loudly, I arched my back bringing him closer to me and ruffled my hands through his hair. I finally came back down from my high and opened my eyes to see him grinning at me as if he had just won the biggest prize at the fair. I was still out of breath and he kissed his way up to my lips in a sweet kiss.

I could taste me on his tongue and began to be wet thinking about what had just transpired between us. I needed more. I needed him inside me, like a lover should be.

"Carlisle, please…" I whimpered as he played with me using his fingers.

He smirked, "What do you want, Bella?" He teased me and I gasped with pleasure, unable to form a coherent sentence to answer him, I moaned in response.

"Tell me what you want," He growled as he continued to tease me.

"You," I moaned loudly, "I need you, Carlisle. Please," I closed my eyes as he continued his ministrations, causing me to have another orgasm where I literally saw stars.

I could feel him smiling as he kissed me, and he positioned himself between my legs, "This is going to hurt a little I'm afraid, but just relax and I'll take the pain away shortly," His face was pained with the thought of hurting me and I knew I had to show him that I was confident in him.

I wrapped my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck, kissing him passionately before I looked at him in his eyes, the conviction clearly displayed in my gaze. He smiled a little as he kissed me back and I felt him at my entrance, pushing slowly into me until he felt resistance, "I love you Bella," and with that he thrust into me, breaking my barrier. He moaned loudly as he sank into me, but quickly looked down at me, "Bella? Darling, are you ok?'

I felt pain, but it wasn't anything I couldn't handle. I just shut my eyes tight, getting adjusted to him inside of me, and being so large. I opened my eyes, grimacing a little as I smiled and he continued to kiss me, telling me he loved me. He stayed still for a couple of moments, just holding me tightly and kissing away my pain tenderly, until I began to feel heat pool in the pit of my stomach again and had this unknown need to have him move in me, "Oh, Carlisle."

I began to move my hips, ensuring him I was fine, and that I needed him to move with me. He quickly caught on, and began to move in and out of me with a steady rhythm. I had never felt anything so incredible before in my life, it was nothing I had ever experienced and I never wanted it to end.

"Oh my God, Bella," Carlisle moaned loudly, making me hotter and wetter than ever. His need for me turned me on to no end and I would never fathom it. He began to thrust harder and deeper with each motion and I wrapped my legs tighter around him so he would continue to go deeper and deeper.

He growled as I moaned at his attention, and slid his hands under my back, pulling me into a sitting position with him. The movement felt amazing and I felt him penetrating me deeper and deeper, and desire running rampant through my body. He quickened the pace, his hands driving my hips into his. He made sure that each touch was strong, but amazingly controlled himself so as not to crush me. I found it all amazing to me and began to moan louder letting him know I was close to my release.

He thrust his hips up into me, and used his hands to firmly guide me down onto him faster and faster until he was growling with his own desire. I was way beyond the point of control. I wrapped my hands into his golden hair, leaning my body away from his in pure ecstasy, screaming out his name for my release.

"Come for me, Bella," he growled thick with lust, "Come for me, my love."

I was so close, everything was being heightened, my senses, and the feeling between my legs, I groaned at his words, slamming myself on him, obeying his command.

"Oh, Carlisle, I'm so close…ah," I panted and moaned as he drove into me harder and faster than ever, hitting me right in the sweet spot. A few moments later I began to feel that familiar heat in the pit of my stomach and moaned at it's returned, "That's it my love, let it consume you. Let go, Bella. Come for me!" Carlisle whispered huskily in my ear and his words put me over the edge.

I cried out loudly, moaning his name as I saw colors before my eyes, and amazing warmth spread throughout my entire body, enveloping me. I heard him moan loudly with me, thrusting once more deep within me. I fell back onto the pillows bringing him with me, lavishing him with kisses, with him still inside of me.

He smiled, resting on his elbows above me, leaning down to kiss my body, me covered in a sheen of sweat from the exertion, "I love you," he whispered as he captured my lips in a fiery kiss, "And I won't ever let you forget that."

I sighed content, and smiled, as we continued to kiss and he wrapped his arms around me tightly, still tangled with one another. As we laid there completely content and blissfully happy I couldn't help but sigh in complete content.

"What are you thinking, my love?" Carlisle asked, clearly amused by my happy sigh and look on my face.

I entwined my fingers with his and he placed a soft kiss on my hand, "How much I love you now and forever."

He smiled at me, his perfect dazzling smile, kissed me, and whispered in my ear, "Forever is a long time, no?"

"He is not a lover who does not love forever," I smiled back.

"Oh, how I love Euripides," Carlisle smiled playfully as I giggled to no end until he silenced me with a deep, soulful kiss. A kiss of full of promise…a promise of forever.