Author's note Thanks to everybody who read/reviewed my first fanfic, Azumanga Daioh Director's Cut! As my way of saying thank you, here's another fic!
My brother's CD player was playing "Bake Me A Country Ham" by Cledus T. Judd, and this tune just sorta popped into my head.
"...kinda stuck in the ol' Loudon's mind, kinda...gestated there for...seven, eight minutes...and this tune popped out!"-- Loudon Wainwright III, "I Wish I Was A Lesbian"
Disclaimer As funny as it would be, I don't think Cledus could legally make this song happen, since neither he nor I own Azumanga Daioh. I also don't own "Bake Me A Country Ham" or the song it's based on.
Food terms:
-> CHIKIN-tsubasa - chicken wings
-> Matsuzaka - (brand name) very expensive beef (comes
from Matsuzaka City, Mie Prefecture)
-> Monaka - a wafer cake filled with bean jam
-> Taiyaki - a fish-shaped filled pastry, cf. empanadas
Singer: Yukari
Now on with the song!
Yukari: This restaurant sucks.
Nyamo: But you WANTED to come here. I even agreed to pay
for it.
Yukari: Suddenly...this food isn't so bad.
Nyamo: (sigh)
Yukari: You know, if you're gonna pay for stuff...
Verse 1:
I was sitting there, my chopsticks in my hand
Staring at my lousy ramen can
-> Nyamo: You bought that, you know.
As she walked right in and said to me
Is there any way that I can make your day complete
-> Nyamo: (nervous/blushing) Ah-ha-ha...
I told her if you're runnin' a kitchen
Could you spend about ten thousand yen
Nyamo: Yukari, are you drunk?
Yukari: (somewhat slurred) All decks on hand, cap'n!
Nyamo: I'll take that as a yes...
Chorus:
And buy me Matsuzaka
-> Nyamo: WHAT?
Serve it up with CHIKIN-tsubasa
Cook it 'til it's medium done
Taiyaki all the way around
Let the sweet smell fill the air
Serve it to me in my underwear
I'm tired of eatin' monaka
Could you buy me Matsuzaka
Nyamo: I can't believe this...
Verse 2:
I looked at her with hungry eyes
-> Nyamo: Ohh boy.
She asked "isn't that gonna go to your thighs"?
-> Nyamo: Why would I ask that?
I held my breath--I can hardly wait
For my little slice of heaven on that china plate
-> Nyamo: But...but I haven't said yes...
I can feel the juices running down my chin
-> Nyamo: Yukari, that's soy sauce.
As my stomach started singing once again
Nyamo: Just don't vomit on the table...
Could you buy me Matsuzaka
Serve it up with CHIKIN-tsubasa
Cook it 'til it's medium done
Taiyaki all the way around
Let the sweet smell fill the air
Serve it to me in my underwear
-> Nyamo: (nervous/blushing) Ah-ha-ha...
I'm tired of eatin' monaka
Could you buy me Matsuzaka
Could you buy me Matsuzaka
Serve it up with CHIKIN-tsubasa
Cook it 'til it's medium done
Taiyaki all the way around
Let the sweet smell fill the air
Serve it to me in my underwear
I'm tired of eatin' monaka
-> Nyamo: But you didn't order monaka!
Could you buy me Matsuzaka
Yukari: (slurring) Ya know wha I'm shayying?
Nyamo: (sober) At this point Yukari, I have no idea what
you're saying. (sigh)